Just Lonely
by SoBrittanaProudlySo
Summary: Rachel gets drunk and tells Santana something she maybe shouldn't have. But how should they deal with the confession, should they forget about it, or should they agree to fill each others desires and needs? A love story/affair begins.
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 1

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

But a bit of Brittana and some Finchel a bit later

**RATING: **M

**A/N: **I sorta wrote this for Pezberry week- Day 7 (free day)- Intoxication- but it kinda became more than just the original one shot I was planning and thus took longer to write than I expected, also my laptop was playing up so that held me up too

This happens six months after Rachel and Santana graduate from McKinley

Please check out my other stories

I do take fic suggestions; check out my profile for more info on it.

**SYNOPSIS**: Rachel gets drunk and tells Santana something she maybe shouldn't have.

Santana thought living with Rachel Berry would be a nightmare, but when she moved to New York to start at NYU she didn't have much choice than to get a roommate. Rachel offered her services right away, she was lonely after her breakup with Finn and it didn't help the fact Kurt stayed in Ohio after not getting into NYADA. Rachel was lonely she just wanted someone. So when she found out Santana Lopez was moving to New York to go to college there she asked the Latina to move in with her and they could split the rent. Santana was lonely too after leaving Brittany behind, they were very much together still but it was hard, they'd never been away from each other for that long and it took some adjusting

Santana wanted someone to hang with, but she sure as hell didn't have Berry at the top of her list. Her home girl Quinn went to Yale and her fellow Troubletone Mercedes was living it up somewhere in California, and her girlfriend was redoing her final year at McKinley. Sure she and Rachel had grown to have some sort of friendship just before graduating but still she wasn't overjoyed at the thought of having a roommate that would keep her awake half the night practicing her singing, or filling the refrigerator with a bunch of strange vegan type foods that she herself had never even heard of but after spending a good amount of her summer looking for an apartment not too far from her college and something she could afford with the money her parents had given her, she just couldn't find anything

So in the end she decided to reluctantly take up Rachel's offer and she moved in with the one girl she never thought she'd even remain friends with after leaving McKinley, and if she were honest it actually wasn't half bad rooming with the most diva-esque girl she'd ever met. They became closer still and went out when they could, they'd watched movies together, and Santana made Rachel loosen up a bit whereas Rachel kept Santana grounded when Brittany wasn't around to do it for her

The girls quickly became very good friends and Santana found herself kinda liking the idea that she lived with Rachel, and Santana missed Brittany like hell but she was actually kinda proud to call Rachel Berry a friend of hers and Rachel was more than ecstatic to write Santana's name on that creepy little spread sheet she had a list of her current friends on that she kept on her computer- and these were the only reasons Santana and Rachel could think of as the explanation for what happened next between them. For what they agreed upon.

Santana was on her way home; she'd had a pretty busy day at college then had to work a shift at the small coffee shop she had a part-time job in. Rachel had had some audition today, she knew this because the little diva would not shut up about it, she kept going on for weeks about it, about how it would be the perfect job if she were to get it, and it was something she'd always wanted to do since she was like three or something, Santana tried not to pay attention cause it just started to get a bit boring, but she knew Rachel was excited about it and so she did hope that the girl would get it. It did seem odd that Rachel hadn't phone or texted her to brag about getting the part, her audition was at 2pm and it was now 8pm and she'd had nothing.

Santana pulled her keys out from her pocket, her body ached from the working and studying she'd done though out the day, all she wanted to do was to eat, collapse on her bed, phone Brittany and sleep. She opened the door to her shared apartment and dropped her stuff down with a relieved sigh. Rubbing at where her college bag had been digging into her shoulder for most of the day.

"Berry you home?" Santana shouted, she didn't put it past the girl to come running towards her as soon as she put her key in the lock and dive on her excitedly to tell her all about her triumphant audition, but that didn't happen and even that surprised Santana. They'd been officially living together for a whole six months and Santana had started to recognize a lot of Rachel's quirks and habits and greeting her like an old married couple when she came in the door was one of them.

"Rach?" Santana called again as she headed towards the kitchen, she needed food and she needed it now so she headed towards the fridge, half full with a bunch of junk food (Santana's) and some vegan crap she didn't question, took up the other half (Rachel's of course), she took out a half-eaten box of Chinese that she had ordered the night before and opened it up. She always loved Chinese food better when it was cold than hot, after all Chinese food is made to be eaten cold the next day, that's her motto, Rachel on the other hand ordered some kind of vegan friendly vegetables rolls that in Santana's mind didn't look good either hot or cold.

She prodded around the noodles in the box before pulling out a fork, it didn't take long before the box was completely empty and the hole in her stomach was semi full. Santana put the fork in the sink and threw out the old box. Then she made her way towards the living room to see if Rachel was in there.

When she got to the living room the lights were off, she clicked the switch and found Rachel laying on the couch. "Hey Rach, you alright?" she asked. Rachel had her back to her but rolled over upon hearing her roommate's voice.

"Oh hey San San" Rachel replied and it didn't take long for Santana to realise Rachel was indeed intoxicated. Pretty badly if she knew her drunks. Santana could see the bottle in her hand, along with several other alcoholic drink cans and bottles around the couch

"Jesus Rach" Santana muttered to herself, it was clear Rachel had been drinking since getting back from her audition judging by the amount she had consumed, it was funny cause Santana hadn't really seen Rachel drink too many times and she'd always been trying to get her to knock a few back when they went out. Something about always needing to be in control of the situation kept stopping her, but this was just crazy, even Santana had never had so much in a single night

She stepped over a few of the bottles along the floor until she was next to the couch. Rachel sat up to greet her. "Rachel what the hell happened, why are you drunk right now?" Santana asked still a little in disbelief of what she was actually seeing.

"I screwed it up San" Rachel replied her voice shaky and there was already tears streaming down her face, she almost dropped her latest bottle so Santana took it off her. "That's mine" Rachel groaned falling back into a laying position. Santana took a seat next to her.

"I think you've had enough Rach don't you think? Now what are you talking about, you screwed what up?" Santana placed the bottle down on the cabinet next to her, making sure it was out of Rachel's reach and view for that matter.

"I didn't get the part, I messed up my lines" Rachel responded, wiping at her face with her sleeve, smudging her makeup even more than she already had.

"Oh I'm sorry Rachel, I know you really wanted that part, but there'll be others, you're still young and there's plenty of opportunities for you out there" Santana tried to encourage the girl, she placed a hand on Rachel's knee and slowly rubbed circles upon it.

"Thank you for trying to cheer me up Santana but it's now working" Rachel's eyes were shut, and her face rather flushed

"No it appears that's what this is for" Santana whispered to herself whilst looking around at all the empty bottles "Maybe we should get you to bed" she suggested

"I wanna sleep here" Rachel stubbornly rolled onto her side

"You can't sleep here Rachel, you'll get a bad back, and you still have class tomorrow" Santana knew Rachel would never drink if she had a class the next day, she must have really wanted that part in the play. "Come on Rach" she tugged at the girls arm but it was soon apparent Rachel had no intention of moving anytime soon "Don't make me carry you, cause I will" Santana warned, but still gained no movement from the diva "Help me god" Santana said quietly as she got up off the couch and scoped Rachel up.

She couldn't believe she was actually doing this, she was carrying Rachel Berry like a baby, she was just lucky Rachel was small and light or it would be her with the bad back in the morning "Put me down" she squirmed in the Latina's arms as they got closer to Rachel's bedroom.

"Rach stop moving I'm gonna drop you" but Rachel kept on wriggling like a worm, then she actually began to punch at Santana's chest "Fucking hell Berry would you quit being such a diva!" Santana kicked open Rachel's door and dropped her on the bed

"Look I know you really, really wanted that part ok but you screwed it up, that's life, we can't always get what we want, but it's not the end of the world, you still have all the time in life to go for other auditions and you'll get a part when the time is right" Santana looked down at the girl who was now sitting on her bed

"You're mean" Rachel fell flat on her back and there was something about the way she did it and the tone she used, almost childlike, that just reminded Santana of Brittany. The Latina had to shake her head a few times to remember what she was meant to be doing.

Santana got onto the bed to help Rachel take her clothes off "Come on Rach, let's get you out of these" Santana said tugging lightly on Rachel's jeans but Rachel made it clear she wasn't about to offer any assistance. Santana felt kinda odd having to undress Rachel so she could be comfortable and fall asleep in her own bed, but it wasn't as if she was going to get Rachel naked. It was just a friend helping out another friend.

She undid Rachel's pants and with some difficulty managed to get them off the lifeless body they were on, "You could help you know Rachel" Santana said but received no reply just a grunt. Santana then moved on to Rachel's shirt, which seemed to prove more of a challenge as getting it over Rachel's head wasn't as easy as she thought. She tugged and tugged but Rachel just kept squirming and fighting her. "Rach come on quit being a bitch and just let me get this off for you" Santana yanked one last time and finally the shirt was off.

Santana couldn't help but notice Rachel actually had a pretty hot body, call it the lesbian in her but she couldn't seem to stop staring. The diva was now in nothing but her lacy bra and panties and it wasn't a surprise it was turning Santana on, she hadn't seen Brittany for a few weeks and therefore hadn't had sex for a few weeks, and even then they only had a couple of days with each other at a time, so it honestly didn't take a lot to turn her on right now.

"Stop staring its rude" broke Santana out of her daydream; she looked at Rachel who was looking back at her with droopy eyelids and a lazy smile

"Shut up and get into bed" Santana playfully growled as she placed Rachel's clothes on a chair in her room. She watched as Rachel got up and crawled under her covers on all fours, before collapsing in her bed. "I'll come check on you in a bit" Santana smiled and she walked towards the door and switched her light off.

Santana made her way back to the living room to the mess Rachel had made. She huffed as she bent down to pick up the several empty bottles. She noticed they were a cheap brand so hoped Rachel wouldn't feel it as much in the morning. She went to the kitchen with all the bottles and disposed of them in the trash can. "The things I do for you Berry" Santana muttered. Then she grabbed a clean glass, filled it with fresh tap water and got some painkillers.

She stepped back into Rachel's room and switched on her bedside light. Santana placed the water and pills down on the side so they'd be ready for Rachel in the morning. "Hey" Rachel whispered

"I thought you were asleep" Santana sat on the bed, looking at the small face peaked out from under the covers. "I got you some water and some pills" Santana said quietly with a gentle smile

Rachel sat up clumsily "You're really sweet. Thank you Santana" she smiled back. She held out her arms to initiate a hug, something Santana usually wouldn't do with Rachel but under the circumstances and the fact Rachel hopefully wouldn't remember the embrace in the morning she decided to accept her offer and she leaned over and the girls hugged "I want you Santana" Rachel whispered into her ear

"You want me to do what Rach" Santana chuckled a little

"No I mean, I _want_ you" Santana pulled back stunned by the confession, Rachel just looked…well like Rachel

"Rachel you're drunk, you don't know what you're saying now just have some water and try to get some rest" Santana felt a little uncomfortable now, shifting on the bed slightly

Rachel didn't respond to Santana's explanation, instead she learnt in again and captured the Latina's lips with her own. Santana didn't want to kiss back but she couldn't stop herself either, but then she remembered she had a girlfriend, a girlfriend she loved, not one she was willing to cheat on. "Rachel stop" Santana demanded as she pushed the diva back

"I've wanted you for a few months now" Rachel admitted

"No Rachel your just drunk, this isn't real, your feelings are all over the place right now. Just get some sleep, I need to go" Santana stood up abruptly and made her way out of the room and was sure to close the door behind her.

Did that really just happen, did Rachel Berry really just confess that she wanted Santana, wanted her for what? No she was drunk that wasn't right. She just needed to forget it, speaking of forget, she was meant to call Britt when she got in.

Santana went to her room and locked her own door behind her, she didn't really know why but she had a funny feeling if she didn't she might wake up in the middle of the night with Rachel standing over her like some sort of obsessive horror film, she doesn't know where her mind comes up with this stuff, plus she didn't really want Rachel walking in her room when she was speaking to Brittany.

She kicked off her shoes and flopped down on her queen sized bed, pulling her phone from her pocket. She soon dialled up her most used number and lay back on the bed as she waited for her girlfriend to answer.

"Hey San" Brittany's voice came through

"Hey baby, sorry I forgot to phone you when I got home, I had a bit of a problem" Santana explained

"Oh that's ok, are you alright?" Britt asked in a worried tone

"Oh yeah I'm fine, it was Rachel, she had that audition she had been jabbing on about all month today and she messed it up" Santana said

"Oh no, is she ok?" Britt grew more worried

"Yeah she's alright. She just got a bit drunk that's all and she's a bit out of it, but I put her to bed, hopefully she'll be fine in the morning, just with a bit of a headache" Santana chuckled

"Are you ok? You sound a bit freaked out"

"No, I'm...yeah I'm ok just Rachel…she was a bit you know, just upset"

Brittany laughed along but was still concerned about her friend "Tell her I said sorry"

"Course, so how was school today?" Santana quickly changed the subject

"Crap, it's never the same without you, Sue's up our butt over the new routine and Mr Schue's got us practicing overtime for regionals" Britt sighed "I really miss you"

"Aw baby, I miss you too and you sound shattered"

"I am, but what about you how was collage and work" Britt asked curiously

"Work sucked, but college was pretty cool today. Got a bunch of studying I have to do over the next few weeks though, I'm glad I'm seeing you soon" Santana smiled to herself, she and Brittany had plans to get together during the week break they had coming up. It was the first time Brittany was coming to see Santana in New York and they both honestly couldn't wait.

"I know me too, though I was kinda hoping we could have some fun in the meantime" Britt said using that seductive tone she knew made Santana wet

"Hmm I'd love to Britt, what was it you had in mind exactly" Santana teased, not like they hadn't done this a hundred and one times since Santana left for New York but it was always fun to have a bit of banter beforehand.

"Is your laptop free?"

"Yeah, why?" Santana asked despite the fact she knew exactly where this was going

"I'm online" Britt giggled a little

"Ok I'm gonna hang up, I'll just get it" Santana put the phone down and placed it on the side by her bed

She got off her bed and walked over to her desk where she found her laptop and a pair of underwear that was covering it; she tossed the pants to the side and picked up her computer. Sitting back on her bed and sliding back to the headboard she opened the laptop, it instantly came on her desktop and she didn't hesitate to sign into her messenger.

She saw Britt's name and before she could even do anything else she received a video call from the blond. She smirked and accepted the call with no delay, her mouth dropping open with what she saw. The blond sat in her room. On her bed. Completely and utterly…naked.

"Holy shit Britt, I hope your mom isn't home" Santana laughed

"No she's out, and why are you still dressed Santana?" Britt pouted

Santana didn't reply she just positioned her laptop in front of her on the bed making sure the camera was still filming her, and then she stripped off her shirt and threw it somewhere.

"Take of your bra baby" Brittany ordered

Santana smiled, she loved it when Britt was like this, and it turned her on more than anything to hear her girlfriend speak like that. She reached around and unclasped her bra enjoying the air brush her naked breasts as she pulled it away from her body and tossed it out of the way.

"I love your tits San, now take your pants and panties off" Britt asked focused on nothing but her screen.

Santana didn't argue she lifted her hips and tore her pants off, she heard Brittany giggled on her screen and she guessed from Britt's view it was probably rather funny looking but she didn't care she was horny and she wanted to cyber with her girlfriend right now. She kicked her offending pants off and then started on her panties, flinging them off in some direction or another.

Once she was fully naked she sat up on her bed and placed the laptop between her legs "This good for you baby?" Santana grinned

"Perfect San, you're wet already" Britt noted

"I know baby, I've been thinking about this all day"

"Me too, I could barely concentrate at school just cause I was thinking about you. I wish we were together properly" Britt's voice saddened

"Same babe, but you still look fucking hot" Santana commented

"Touch your boobs San, please I don't wanna wait anymore, I want you" Britt pleaded, getting her smile back

"Ok babe" Santana smiled back, letting her fingers drift up her body until she found a nipple, she rolled it between her fingers until it had peaked "You too Britt Britt" Santana watched as Brittany mirrored her movements, letting her touch caress across her chest.

"Hmm Santana you look so hot right now" Britt moaned

"God you have no idea how gorgeous you look right now baby, I wanna touch you so bad"

"San touch yourself baby" Brittany's hand was already heading south and it only sped up Santana's movements

Santana moved her hand between her legs, she teased a little before dipping in "Rub your clit babe" Santana said as she watched Brittany's hand run back and forth between her folds.

"God San I'm so wet, how wet are you?" Britt bit her bottom lip

"Soaking babe" Santana replied as her fingers brushed a crossed her own hard nub

"Oh Santana this feels so good" Britt moaned loudly, as she rubbed at herself "Talk to me Sanny"

"Fuck Britt I'm so sensitive right now" Santana kept toying with her clit "Put your fingers inside yourself" Santana directed and watched on as the blond slipped two fingers easily inside her glistening pussy

"Oh San, I wish this was your fingers" Britt gasped

"Me too baby, fuck yourself" Santana said as she kept rubbing at her now painfully hard clit

Brittany fucked herself with two fingers in a steady rhythm, getting wetter as she watched her girlfriend on her screen rub fast between her own legs. "Santana…so close baby" Britt bit harder on her lip

"Keep going Britt, lets come together" Santana sped up for the last time, flicking her sensitive bundle of nerves wanting to finish at the same time as her girlfriend. She felt herself on the edge and knew it would only take a few more flicks "Britt Britt, I'm about to come" she panted trying to keep her voice as low as possible, she knew Rachel would most likely be out cold right now but she didn't want to risk the girl hearing just in case she was awake.

"I'm coming too, Sanny" Britt growled on screen, she arched her back and threw her head back and the image only made Santana come harder.

"Jesus Brittany, fuck…shit" Santana whole body tensed as she came, her touching transitioning from, vigorous strokes to gentle slow caresses as she felt her clit pulse and soften against her soaking fingers. "My god Britt baby that was so good" she panted

"Hell yeah San" Britt replied, as she too came down from her orgasm, sluggishly slipping her fingers out of herself.

"I wish I could taste you right now baby" Santana confessed as she watched Brittany wipe her come on her thigh, absentmindedly licking her lips

"You can soon babe" Britt promised

"I know, just I wanna be pressed up against you, kissing you, touching you, fucking you so good" Santana's breath finally becoming more stable

"San stop, your getting me wet again" Britt giggled lazily.

"Sorry babe" Santana smiled

Britt smiled back then brought her laptop closer "I'm tired, so I'm probably gonna go now" she said regretfully

"Ok baby, talk to ya later?"

"You best" the blond threatened playfully "Night San, I love you" Brittany leaned in and kissed her camera, it didn't taste as good as Santana did but she knew it was the closes thing she would get right now to kiss her girlfriend

Santana kissed back "Night Britt, love you too" she gave a half smile.

Brittany ended the video call and Santana touched her screen as it went black, she missed seeing Britt already, hearing her voice as they talked but what got her through was the fact she knew it wouldn't be forever. She signed out of her messenger and closed the lid to her laptop; she got up and walked back over to her desk where she placed the computer back down.

She went towards her dresser and pulled out the top drawer, getting out her clean pyjama pants, and a sleeping shirt. She quickly dressed into the comfy clothes and although it was still a little early for her liking she was too tired to stay awake after such a long busy day, so she crept into bed and soon fell asleep exhausted and spent.

Santana woke up when her alarm went off, she groaned before rolling over and idly reaching for it, she took several swipes at it but she missed it each time in her half-conscious state so she cracked one eye open to help out. She realised she was pretty far from actually hitting it and laughed to herself quietly, and then she turned out her alarm and sat up in bed. "God" she muttered to herself another day, another headache.

She crawled out of bed and went towards the bathroom; she caught a quick shower, brushed her teeth and decided it was time for breakfast. When she got to the kitchen she guessed Rachel must have still been asleep, she was pretty out of it the night before so Santana wasn't all that surprised she wasn't up yet.

Santana made some coffee, knowing she wouldn't be able to get through the day without her morning cuppa, then grabbed some toast to fill the growing hole in her stomach. She leaned against the kitchen unit and casually sipped from her mug and ate her toast thinking about the day ahead, practically mapping it out in her mind and huffing at the many boring bits. It wasn't long till she heard movement coming from the other brunette's room.

She looked up just in time to see Rachel come out of her room, wrapped in her robe and looking tired, Santana assumed she may not have got as much sleep as she originally thought. She made her way into the kitchen, and went straight for the water. She picked up a glass and filled it to the brim then began downing the whole thing.

"Jesus Rach, careful there" Santana advised as she watched the smaller girl gulp down more and more of the liquid. "You alright?"

Rachel didn't stop till the whole glass was empty then she looked over at her roommate and wiped an escaping drop off her chin. "I've thrown up twice this morning" she said clearly unimpressed with her alcohol holding abilities.

"Well you were pretty out for the count last night. You were all over the place" Santana informed

"I'm so not going into class today" Rachel stated

"Are you serious? You never miss class" Santana looked on at the other girl her shock clear on her face

"One day won't matter, I'll go in tomorrow, I just need a day for myself"

"I understand" Santana nodded, knowing that Rachel's uncharacteristic behaviour was most likely due to her audition rather than her being hung over as hell.

"So what did you do last night, anything fun?" Rachel smiled but realised quickly that too much movement was far too painful.

"Just talked to Britt on the phone, nothing special" Santana shrugged Rachel didn't need to know all the details. But Santana found herself much more interested in what Rachel said the night before, and was thinking about bringing it up when Rachel did instead.

"I tried to kiss you last night didn't I?" she asked warily, not really knowing how awkward the situation should be right now.

"Um…actually you _did_ kiss me last night Rach…but it was only like a second before I stopped it" Santana explained

Rachel bowed her head as if she were ashamed of herself "I'm so sorry Santana, we can just forget about it though right? I mean I was drunk, I had no idea what I was doing" Rachel defended her actions frantically

"Actually Rachel I'm not sure I can just forget it" Santana locked eyes with the diva

"Why not?" Rachel sounded desperate

"Cause the kiss wasn't the only thing that happened last night"

"Oh my god, we had sex? I can't believe this" Rachel began pacing around the kitchen she was clearly beginning to freak out

"No Rach, no we didn't sleep together" Santana assured her that her assumption was completely wrong "I would never take advantage of you like that, you know that"

Rachel stopped her pacing and just looked back at Santana "Then what happened?" she was most certainly confused by this point

Santana looked at the floor, debating on whether or not she should actually tell her roommate and friend the truth, on one hand Rachel could have just been so intoxicated she was spouting rubbish but on the other hand what if she was so drunk all of her defences were down and she was completely vulnerable and she really meant what she said.

"You told me you wanted me. What did you mean by that?"

Rachel took a few seconds, she couldn't believe she had gotten so drunk she let that slip, this was one of the main reasons she didn't like alcohol, it made you do the things you wanted to do but had too much self-control when sober to take action on.

"Do we still have any vegan milk? I think I want a coffee" Rachel responded avoiding the question obviously so, as she made her way to the fridge and opened it up, busying herself as she pretended to look for milk.

"Rach, don't ignore me" Santana requested

"I'm not ignoring you Santana I just want some coffee" Rachel kept up her charade

"Then answer my question, what does that mean. Why did you say that? You said you've wanted me for months" Santana reminded her

Rachel stopped all movement, she remembers exactly what Santana was talking about by now, she just didn't want to admit it, she'd managed to keep these feelings in for so long and now within one night she had spilled the beans so easily.

"Look Santana" she said closing the fridge door, giving up her search for milk she knew they didn't even have right now "I was really drunk last night, ok, I may have said some stuff that was completely bull so I wouldn't worry about it, just forget it ok" Rachel turned her back to Santana and went back over to the sink to get another glass of water.

"Is it true, do you want me?" Santana sounded a little lost herself now

"Santana I said forget it!" Rachel shouted making Santana jump, she had never heard Rachel use that tone before and honestly she found it to be rather intimidating.

"I don't think I can do that Rachel"

"Look you have Brittany ok, you have a girlfriend, I have…well I have a career I'm working on I don't need distractions right now" she tried to leave the room but Santana called her out once more

"So it is true. Are you in love with me?" Santana asked, not sure what she wanted the answer to be

"No, I'm not…I don't know Santana ok, all I know is…I'm attracted to you emotionally" Rachel looked at the Latina, searching in her eyes for a reaction

"Emotionally? What do you mean attracted to me emotionally?"

"When I broke up with Finn I was lost and I didn't think I'd ever find myself again, but then when we started rooming together you made me feel ok again, like I was worth something. I came to this new city and I didn't know anyone, I had no friends here, no parents, no Finn and no Kurt, but I had you, and when you finally accepted me as your friend I started to feel things for you, not physical attraction but emotional. Like you make me feel less lonely, I miss Finn but when you and I are together it's like I'm me again" Rachel tried her best to explain her complicated feelings

Santana took several seconds to contemplate Rachel's crazy but after a few it didn't seem so crazy anymore. She got it, Rachel needed someone after Finn left her, and that someone became her. It was like she was the one replacing Finn.

"So you're just lonely?"

"Yes but not when I'm with you, you fill that void, do you understand what I'm saying at all?"

"You have an emotional void; I do get it because I have a physical one"

"Because you don't have Brittany with you?" Rachel wondered

"Exactly, so I do understand it, but why didn't you tell me?"

"Are you serious?" she asked and Santana just gave a simple nod "What would have been the point San, you're in a relationship, we can't be together, you don't want me" Rachel spoke so quietly Santana almost didn't hear her

"Who says" Santana locked eyes with Rachel, if she was asked this time yesterday morning she would have said hell no but after kissing Rachel, feeling that physical intimacy that she hadn't felt in so long, she wondered if maybe she did have feelings for Rachel. She loved Brittany and always would but right now she couldn't have Brittany, not physically but Rachel was right there, she could have Rachel physically and Rachel could have her emotionally.

"You're in love with Brittany" Rachel said simply

"Of course I'm in love with Brittany, but that doesn't mean I don't have other feelings too Rachel"

"What are you trying to say?" Rachel searched for an answer in Santana's face but the Latina didn't give anything away, she didn't really know herself, she wouldn't deny Rachel was attractive, anyone with eyes could see that, and after last night she knew the little diva physically turned her on too. But she loved Brittany more than anything, she didn't want to hurt her by doing anything she shouldn't, but her mind just kept thinking about that kiss, her lips, and their bodies so close and warm together like that, she wanted to feel that physical connection again.

"I don't know really Rachel" Santana caught sight of her watch "Shit, I got to go to class. Are you gonna be alright here by yourself?" Santana asked with genuine concern for her roomie

"Sure, I'm probably gonna throw up a couple more times, then hopefully get some rest" Rachel joked causing Santana to break a smile

"Ok then, I'll see you later " Santana said before heading to the door of their apartment, grabbing her stuff and then leaving for college.

Rachel just signed, she still didn't really understand what had just happened, she confessed she liked Santana in some emotional Rachel Berry kinda way, but did Santana really just suggest she may like her too

"Fuck Berry what the hell?" she asked herself as she buried her head in her hands

**A/N: ****Ok so hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter, not entirely sure where this one will lead but I have a few ideas, so if anyone is interested for more leave me a review and let me know what you guys thought of chapter one and what you may like to see in the future. **


	2. Chapter 2

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 2

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Some Brittana and some Finchel a bit later

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ** So got some pretty good feedback for this story so I decided I'd definitely continue it. Hope you enjoy

**SYNOPSIS**: Rachel gets drunk and tells Santana something she maybe shouldn't have.

Rachel was in her room, recovering from the major headache that just seemed to be getting worse rather than better, she'd taken a bunch of painkillers but still nothing. She'd lost count of how much water she had consumed over the day, but she was pretty sure it had to be over a gallon considering how many times she'd had to get up to pee.

"Why is there nothing on TV during the day, other than Ellen" Rachel said to herself, searching the many channels for something, just anything that could amuse her, that wasn't too loud that she regretted turning on the TV altogether. She held a cool wet cloth to her forehead and settled down in her bed opting for an old classic movie she hadn't seen in years that was currently on one of the movie channels.

The front door opened and then shut shortly after, she knew it was Santana, the moment she heard her throw down her bag and college work. "Stupid lecture, stupid hot lecturer, stupid short skirt, stupid libido" she was pretty sure Santana had just muttered from the hallway

"San is that you?" Rachel said and her bedroom door opened a few seconds later, she'd been thinking about what Santana had said and how she felt about the Latina all day; it was one of the few things that seemed to keep her mind off of her life, her loneliness and the freakin' stampede in her head.

"Hey Rach" Santana poked her head around the door, stuffing a taco into her mouth. "How you feeling?" she asked walking over and sitting onto the girl's bed

"I literally feel like I have been hit by one of those ice road trucker's trucks" she says sitting up in her bed slightly

"That's the alcohol for you" Santana's words are muffled when she spoke with a mouthful of whatever was in that thing she claimed was food

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full, and please refrain from spitting food everywhere, and don't get any sauce on my bed" Rachel said brushing a few stray crumbs that had already fallen from the Latina's snack

"Ooh Casablanca, I haven't seen this movie in ages" Santana said staring at the screen

"San what did you mutter just now when you were coming in?" Rachel asked already aware of what she had heard

Santana had to think about it at first, she could tell Rachel the truth of how her lecturer had such a short skirt on today that her raging libido got the better of her and she had excuse herself from class to take care of her 'urges' in the college bathroom but then the whole strange conversation from this morning might come up again and right now she didn't really want to discuss that, though she knew Rachel wouldn't let it go so easily anyway, damn she really couldn't wait for Brittany to come and visit in a couple of weeks' time, she so wasn't going to leave that bedroom, unless it was for a food break.

"Uh, just my lecturer today was like super boring and all that you know" Santana lied darting her eyes about not wanting to look at Rachel knowing she would see right through her.

"Is that all?" Rachel didn't want to force Santana to tell her anything, knowing this situation had a opportunity of becoming a whole lot of awkward and right now it was sort of not much different than any other day, but she did want to question Santana over this, but maybe now wasn't the best of times.

"Yep that's all" Santana nodded before silencing herself by shoving the rest of the taco in her mouth

"Ok then. So you wanna watch this with me?" Rach asked lifting some of her duvet out of the way and gesturing for Santana to join her in her bed.

"Uh I should…I kinda need to phone Brittany" Santana said trying her best not to sound too desperate to get away

"Can it not wait till after?" Rachel suggested with a slight pout, "Come on, this movie is always better when you watch it with someone"

If Santana had learned anything from living with Rachel it's that she can pretty much get you to do anything if she pouts at you, another thing that reminded her of Brittany, no wonder Finn lost his balls days after starting to date her. "Come on San, I don't bite" Rachel joked making Santana smile slightly unnerved

"Fine, move over, my ass ain't gonna fit there" Santana crawled into the bed once Rachel had scooted her butt over a little, she settled down in the warm bed and Rachel shuffled over wrapping her arms around the Latina. This wasn't surprising they'd do this kind of thing all the time usually when they watched a film together, if they were alone. If Brittany was over then she would be the one suffocating Santana in a tight hug, and Rachel would always feel kind of…well jealous that she got to do that, she had _someone_. She got even more jealous when the girls would start making out and often leave straight after the movie credits began to roll to head directly to Santana's bedroom. Rachel snuggled up against Santana's body, moulding them together and Santana lifted one arm over Rachel and snaked it around her body to hold her close as they watched the classic on TV.

By the end of the movie, Santana's eyes were drooping, and Rachel was sleep against her chest, snoring ever so quietly, something in which she of course denies ever doing. Santana tried to get up without waking the sleeping girl. Rachel's hot breath brushing her skin. She lifted Rachel's small body, but as soon as she did the diva tightened her grip and pulled her closer.

"Rach" Santana whined, pushing at the smaller girl. "Come on Berry, I have to piss" Santana informs her and Rachel laughs but her eyes remain open as she shifts over releasing her grip. Santana slides out of bed and pulls the covers back over Rachel "You just gonna sleep like that or are you actually gonna get into your pyjamas?"

"So you can see me naked again? I don't think so Lopez" Rachel giggled, knowing Santana hadn't ever actually seen her naked, only in her underwear.

"Good night then Rachel" Santana smiled, turning off the TV and heading out the room, switching off the light before closing the door.

"That girls gonna be the death of me" Santana whispered to herself before heading to her own room, to get rid of that uncomfortable throbbing between her legs with a nice long phone session with her girlfriend.

Santana was woken up early in the morning, a Saturday morning to be exact, by Rachel coming in to her room with a tray in hand "Hey Santana I brought you some breakfast in bed, and it's not even vegan food so you can actually eat it" Rachel smiled widely sitting down on Santana's bed and holding the breakfast tray out in front of her

Santana grunted, this was far too early for her but whatever Rachel had made smelt fantastic and it made her stomach rumble instantly. She sat up in bed and narrowed her eyes at Rachel's stupid grinning face. "You do know what the time is don't you?" her voice was rough

"It's time for breakfast made by the best roommate ever!" she laid it down on Santana's bed sheet covered lap

"If you were the best roommate ever then I'd still be fast asleep right now. Why are you even up so early, I know you're a Berry but this is ridiculous even for you" Santana commented prodding at the syrupy pancakes on the pate in front of her.

"I couldn't sleep, too much on my mind"

"You were fast asleep when the movie finished last night" Santana raised a questioning eyebrow at her friend

"Yes but after you left I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep" Rachel said in a not too subtle 'blaming you' kind of way

"What were you thinking about?" Santana wondered clueless

"Just stuff" Rachel unfolded a napkin and lay it down next to Santana

"What kinda stuff?" Santana inquired

"You know your morning voice is super cute" Rachel giggled

Santana huffed and rolled her eyes at the diva, why couldn't she just give a simple straight answer like normal people "Rachel what stuff?" she asked knowing by now this had something to do with feelings, she wished it would just be about a boy but she knew it was gonna be about the events of the previous day.

"What did you mean by physical? You said you have a physical void?" Rachel's voice was much softer and that grin had disappeared from her face completely

"Look Rachel, that was just something I said ok, it doesn't mean anything" Santana tried to move the conversation on but it was clear Rachel wasn't so eager

"No, it _did_ mean something and you know it, tell me Santana, do you like me?" Rachel asked surprising the Latina

"Of course I like you Rach, why would I live with you if I didn't?" Santana laughed

"You know that's not what I mean San. Do you like me as more than just a friend?" Rachel looked away from the other girl

"Is this why you made me breakfast, so you could interrogate me?" Santana smiled

"I figured if you were weighed down then you couldn't run, and I know you can always be brought with food, now are you gonna answer me?"

"Do I have to?"

Rachel looked down at her hands, she didn't want to make Santana uncomfortable but she knew it would drive her crazy if she didn't get the answers that she was seeking "Yes"

"Fine, but can I at least get dressed first, and I really want to eat this. How about, give me an hour and I'll take you for coffee and we can…talk" Santana shuddered, she didn't like to talk especially when it was about feelings and emotions, but she owed Rachel answers

"Fine, I'll leave you to it" Rachel smiled and got up headed out of her roommates room and decided to wait in the kitchen of their apartment

An hour after Santana emerged, showered, dressed and fed. "So you ready to go?" she asked the smaller girl who was looking a little nervous by now

"As long as we don't go to that place you work at, I've tasted their coffee and it's just not good"

"But I get a discount there" Santana pouted even though she knew Rachel was right, their coffee absolutely sucked, she had suggested several times to the owner of the establishment to make changes to the recipe but all he had to say was he knew best and it was his place, he would make the coffee the way he wished. "Fine come on we'll get a Starbucks instead" Santana grabbed her jacket and keys and they both headed out the door

Once they had gotten their coffee orders both girls sat down at a table to 'talk'. "Well I'm waiting" Rachel asked before Santana had even had a chance to sip her drink

"At least let me get my butt in a comfy position Rach" she asked as she shifted her ass around on the seat, trying to find the best way to situate it for such a conversation

Once she had eventually stopped moving, most of which Rachel assumed was to waste more time she asked again "Well?"

"Ok yes I like you Rachel" Santana admitted

"In what way, like you find me attractive?" Rachel wondered

"Well you're hot I'm not gonna deny that, but it's not like that. I mean…well remember when I said I had a physical void when you mentioned an emotional one?" Santana waited for the other girl to nod before continuing "Well you're like that for me, I like you and all but every time I see you I can't help but think what it would be like to…" she stopped and looked around the coffee shop, to check no one was listening, she was out and proud and all that but somehow she just kept picturing her girlfriend's face in the back of her mind and it kept making her more careful about what she said. "…to kiss you, or be _with _you"

"Be with me? You mean like sexually?" Santana nodded "So you want to sleep with me?" Rachel was a bit unsure of what was actually happening now

"No…well sort of…look you said you felt 'one' again when I was with you cause I filled that emotional void you got when Finn left, well with you…"

"I fill the physical void of Brittany" Rachel finished Santana's words "So you want to have sex because you don't have Brittany here with you?"

"I don't really mean it like that" Santana cursed herself for sounding like such a jerk right now. "I don't really know how to explain it, but you know what it's like loving someone but not being with them in the way you want"

"But you have Brittany; you just don't get her physically, well not all the time anyway. Oh that's what you mean right? It's hard because you want to have that sexual element but you can't have it when she's in Ohio, that's what you mean, am I right?" Rachel smiled after finally figuring it out

"Pretty much. I mean I love Brittany more than anything else in this world, but it's just so hard and frustrating when we aren't physically together, I miss that and I miss her but I can't help but _need_ that aspect in my life. I mean before I left for this place we used to do it basically twice a day, and multiple orgasms were a must, but now with her being there and me being here we can only do it on the phone or over the computer and it's just not the same" Santana explained

"Wait you and Britt phone sex? So that's why you do to bed so early sometimes" Rachel's eyes trailed off

"Can we focus please; you wanted to know this stuff"

"Sorry, but I still don't get it, are you asking me to be like your fuck bubby for when Brittany isn't around?" Rachel wasn't entirely oppose to the idea

"No, maybe, I don't want to hurt Britt"

"I understand, and to be honest I should be telling you not to do anything that would hurt Brittany but there's still a selfish part of me that likes the idea" Rachel takes Santana's hand over the table

"Wait, you do?" Santana thought for sure Rachel would slap her with such a suggestion

"Santana the other night I told you I wanted you, emotionally of course. If you provide me with the emotional connection that I am lacking right now then it's only fair that I give you the physical your life is going without" Rachel sounded very genuine, this was no joke

"You mean like, we should just sleep together that way well both get what we want?"

"I'm not gonna force you but it would be a win-win for both of us" Rachel said

"No, I couldn't do that, I mean I thought about it, cheating and that but I can't do that to Brittany" Santana shook her head, she couldn't even comprehend what Britt's face would look like, how broken it could be if she ever caught Santana cheating

"She doesn't have to know, it can be our little secret" Rachel squeeze at her hand "Think about it, you won't have to be so frustrated, you won't have to countdown the days till you see Brittany next, you don't have to go a day without getting off if you don't want to and all you have to do for me is just be there when I need you"

Santana couldn't believe this was the same Rachel she went to high school with, she was so much more devious and cunning but in a way she did have a point, she should become an estate agent or something because this girl was totally selling this to her right now "I don't like the idea of hurting Brittany either San" Rachel suddenly sounded more regretful

"Then why are you suggesting this?" Santana didn't want to look in the diva's eyes, scared of what she may see

"I don't know, I have no idea of anything anymore. It's a stupid idea, you're right, we shouldn't do this…ever, I need to go" Rachel shot up from her seat and before Santana could even piece together what had just happened the smaller girl had gone

"Shit" Santana whispered to herself, before standing up and walking out the café to see if she could see where Rachel had gone, but she was nowhere to be seen

Santana went back to their apartment and unsurprisingly it was empty, she figured Rachel would be home when she had gotten over the temporary teen life crisis. She felt a little ashamed of herself for thinking and talking about anything relating to cheating, especially when she had spent so long trying to _get_ Brittany in the first place, she didn't want to go screw things up over her silly feelings. Yeah the whole having to wait weeks for sex was kinda pissing her off, she knew it would be hard from day one considering she has never known anyone with a bigger libido, even Puck wasn't this bad, but it was still no excuse to actually be considering having sex with anyone that wasn't her blue eyed Britt

She decided to phone Britt, it was still pretty early but she was sure Britt would be wide awake, she always liked to get up on a Saturday to watch early morning cartoons. She pulled her phone from her pocket and pressed Britt's number

It didn't take 3 seconds before she heard the cute blond voice on the other end of the line "Hey San. God you're up early, are you watching Scooby-Doo too?" she said excitedly

"Hey baby, no I'm not, Rachel woke me up you know what she's like" Santana laughed and hearing the blond laugh only made her hate herself more, how could she hurt this girl, betray her trust as if she didn't even matter.

"Is she ok?" Britt asked in concern for the diva's wellbeing

"Well she's kinda run off…long story, not worth going over, but she did have a hangover yesterday morning" Santana laughed

"Oh why do I always miss all the fun stuff" Britt said, she was obviously pouting to herself

"Trust me it wasn't as fun as it sounds"

"Anyway what's up?" Britt asked perkily

Santana panicked a little "Why would anything be up?"

"Well you called me right, you must want something. Was last night not enough for you, we did it like three times Sanny" Britt giggled, even she sometimes couldn't keep up with her girlfriend's horniness

"No that's not what I wanted, I just wanted to hear your voice and say hello" Santana started to become unnerved all over again

Britt giggled more "Yeah sure you did"

"What can't I just phone my girlfriend for a non-sexual reason anymore?"

"I wish you would sometimes" Britt joked

"You know that's not true"

"I know, but I know you're turned on, I can hear it in your voice, so just take your pants off and I'll help you out" Britt suggested

"Britt you don't have to do that, really I'm ok" Santana assured

Britt laughed down the phone, she knew Santana better than Santana knew herself, and she especially knew when Santana needed it, and something must have really gotten to the Latina because she could hear the need dripping off her voice and she presumed it wasn't the only thing dripping. "Come on San, I know you're soaking wet aren't you, have a feel" Britt said seductively

"Britt no, I'm not but I will be if you keep talking like that" Santana warned, she knew she was wet, thanks to Rachel and her earlier suggestions but she didn't need to use Brittany, Brittany was her girlfriend not her booty call.

"Good that's my intention" Britt smirked "Are you in your room?"

"No I'm in the living room" San answered

"Then go to your room, get on your bed and take off your pants" Britt ordered, how did she even know she was wearing pants and not a skirt or naked, this girl really _did_ know Santana expertly

"But…"

"No buts, unless it's yours on your bed" Britt wasn't gonna let this go

"Fine" Santana gave in making her way to her bedroom and shutting her door behind her, she hopped onto her bed and undid her pants, yanking them down to mid-thigh before doing the same with her underwear. "Ok baby, talk to me" Santana said

"Told you, you were wet" Britt giggled

"Can't help it, I love you so much, your voice gets me going" though today it was a total lie it was also true, Brittany's voice did get her going, even if she was speaking about horrible diseases or something just as bad like reading from the phone book, if Brittany used that seductive tone she could practically have Santana melted in a pool by her feet within seconds.

"I want you taste yourself baby, you taste so good, I want you to know that" Britt informs

Santana lets her hand drop and instantly feels just how wet she truly is, it quickly covers her first two fingers before she brings them back up to her mouth and sticks them inside, licking and sucking her own arousal off the digits. "Hmm, so fucking good" Santana hums

"Told ya. Now rub your clit, lightly though at first" Britt directs

Santana finishes cleaning her fingers before sliding them back down her body and finding her stiff nub, she begins to circle it around being sure not to go too fast till Britt told her to. "Oh god, can I go faster baby? I need it" the Latina whined

"Not yet sexy, just keep going slow"

Santana's fingers stopped circling and began to slide back and forth, she grew wetter with each stroke across her sensitive bundle, wishing it was Brittany's fingers, mouth anything but her own, she didn't know how much longer she could do this, and it was driving her insane to be the only one who could physically pleasure herself anymore. Even during the period of 'sex isn't dating' she got more action with Brittany. She loved the whole phone sex and cybering but it just didn't measure up to the way she felt when she was actually with someone else, mind and body.

"You can go faster now baby" Britt's direction broke her out of her thoughts and she didn't waste a second, quickening the pace of her hand movements, rubbing each and every nerve she had desperate for some relief. "San you sound so hot when you're doing that baby don't stop" Britt said. Santana was pretty sure Brittany wasn't doing it back on her end; she usually wouldn't want anything to interrupt cartoon time. She could tell by the way Britt spoke clearly with no breath hitching that the blond was simply just sat on the floor in front of her family TV, talking dirty to the brunette; Santana just hoped the girl's mom wasn't in hearing distance of this particular phone call.

"Santana are you home?" Santana heard Rachel call from outside her room, she'd been so into this she hadn't even heard the girl get in, then again she could have just as easily been in her room the whole time and she never even noticed.

Santana didn't even have time to cover herself before the little diva walked into her room, quickly stopping with wide eyes as she stood in the doorway. "Oh my god I'm so sorry" Rachel swift turned around and walked right back out again, running to her own room

"Fuck" Santana looked at the other brunette then gasped down the phone as she came, she'd always been so careful. Rachel had never caught her before, she'd never even heard her do this before, hence the reason she was unaware Santana actually _did_ this on a daily basis.

"That was Rachel wasn't it?" Brittany asked with a clear giggle in her voice

"It's not funny, I practically just came in front of her" Santana sighed, pulling her fingers as far away from her sex as possible. "Well I guess I have to go explain this awkward situation away" Santana said

"Sorry, if this was my fault, and if it's scarred you for life, or her for that matter" Britt joked

"Hey she should be happy to see me in this situation, I'm hot" Santana mentioned

"You don't have to tell me that baby"

"I'll call you later babe, love you"

"Love you too" and with that Santana put the phone down on the side of her bed and tugged her pants back up, there was no way she could get away with lying about this, there were no excuses she could use, Rachel had seen her fair and square, she'd just have to hope this wouldn't make things between herself and Rachel anymore awkward or weird.

Santana stood outside Rachel's shut door, she reached her hand up to knock but quickly pulled it back "Fuck" she whispered to herself, how could she let Rachel see her doing that, why had she never prepared a speech to give the girl if such a thing _did_ happen, she'd had a good six months to plan for an event like this.

She tried to knock again but her hand wouldn't pass the invisible barrier between it and the door, several variations of the same explanation were currently running through her head, just which one to choose was her main concern. She decided to find her balls and just knock, it's not like she was caught doing anything odd or unnatural, she was even sure Rachel had done it several times, a girl doesn't moan like that just from 'sleeping' or 'studying' as she claimed

"Rachel?" Santana said quietly as she opened the diva's bedroom door, only to see that Rachel _does_ in fact do it too like _right now_ for that matter. Santana stopped in her tracks as Rachel lay on her bed with a hand down her pants between her legs. "Oh god" Santana murmured causing Rachel to crack one eye open

"Shit" she said seeing the wide eyed Latina gazing at her, and by the looks of it struggling to breathe

"Your lock doesn't work" Santana informed her pointing at the door

"It appears not"

"I'll just come back later" Santana thought it best to leave after she felt her clit twitch in arousal of the image in front of her, she wondered if that's why Rachel left when the roles were reversed only moments ago, she guessed it must have been hence Rachel coming back in her room and doing this

"No don't go" Rachel pleaded making Santana stand still "Come over here"

Santana didn't turn around at first "But you're…busy" Santana seemed nervous, whether it was due to the throbbing in her own underwear or the fact both of them had now seen each other during their alone time, even she didn't know at this point.

"Just come over here" Rachel repeated, softer this time

Santana turned around and faced Rachel, she shut the bedroom door behind her, not really knowing why but it seemed appropriate at the time. Rachel beckoned her over with one finger and Santana's feet slowly made their way over to the smaller brunette.

Santana didn't know what to do next she had a pounding in her bottom half and in her chest as her heart felt like it was gonna burst free. Her palms were starting to sweat and her breathing was becoming harder and harder to control. Rachel just smiled up at her before standing up from the bed and locking eyes deeply with her.

"I'm sorry for walking in on you, but guess we're even now" Rachel said casually

"Sorry I didn't know you would be doing that" Santana's voice cracked half way through her sentence when she noticed Rachel had a clear amount of her own juices still spread on her fingers.

"That's ok, I got hot watching you so I had to do it myself" Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana's neck and pulled her against her own body

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what Rachel was trying to do, she used to be the expert on seduction, and she could expertly say Rachel was doing a cracking job. The pounding pulsed around her whole body now and she was definitely more than wet were it counted.

"Rach" Santana moaned when she felt that damp finger brush the skin at the back of her neck. Santana was about to say something else but was silenced Rachel's plump lips on hers, her hand running through the back of Santana's hair. Santana's own hands instinctively finding the smaller girl's ass, kneading and palming instantly at the soft flesh.

Rachel gasped into her mouth and it was that that brought Santana back into reality, she pushed Rachel back, shaking her head slightly "No Rachel, we can't do this we already said" Santana said, not really sure who she was trying to convince

"But I know you want it and so do I, no one will have to know, just once, please" Rachel looked at her with sad eyes, her brain was telling her leave an never think about it or mention it again but the rest of her body was telling her to jump at the opportunity in front of her. She didn't want to do anything to jeopardise her relationship with the girl she loved, but here Rachel was standing in front of her just as needy as she was, no one would ever know, in theory she could totally get away with it. She'd cheated before just not on Brittany, but she'd forgiven herself for such things before; surly she could do it again. She could have that physical connection just once, Rachel could get whatever the hell it was emotionally she wanted from her and it would be over as quick as it had started.

With that thought in mind the only pushing she did next was pushing Rachel back on to the bed and re-joining their lips, as she climbed on top of her. Their kiss quickly turning heated before either of them really knew it, Santana's tongue surprising Rachel as it shoved itself into her mouth, stroking at Rachel's own.

Rachel's confidence grew as her hands found Santana's belt and were quick to work on it before heading to her pants button next. Her hand dipping in and rubbing against Santana's damp underwear. The Latina gasped before sitting up and yanking off her shirt and bra, Rachel's following not long after. Both girls' naked breasts brushed against one another's when they went back in for a fiery kiss. Santana helped Rachel out of her pants and panties before taking her own off.

Now both girls were completely naked and Santana couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to, her hands wandering all over Rachel's body under hers. Her tongue hungrily licking and sucking at Rachel's neck, she really needed this, she couldn't believe how long it had been since she'd last had sex. Rachel's body was pretty similar to Brittany's, though she was much smaller height wise, her breasts were not much different to the blonde's, her legs naturally weren't as long but they still wrapped around Santana's waist just as perfectly.

Santana's hand help hold herself up over the other girl while her other went directly to one of Rachel's breasts, palming it roughly causing Rachel to moan, the breast seem to fit just right in her hands and the fact didn't go unnoticed by either girl.

"Hmmm" Santana grunted when Rachel's small hands travelled their way down her body before stopping just above where she needed them. "Rach, please" she begged, desperate for some form of friction, needing quick relief. Rachel didn't tease any longer, she slipped her middle finger between Santana's wet folds, quickly finding her clit and flicking it. Santana's hips bucking into her hand.

Not wanting to be selfish Santana also removed her hand from Rachel's chest and sent it below, seeking out the girl's arousal; she dipped it in and was surprised by how wet Rachel really was. "You're soaking Rach" she whispered against the diva's lips

"So are you" Rachel giggled lightly as she kissed at Santana's neck. Santana couldn't take it anymore, she needed it now, she prodded at Rachel's entrance with her first two fingers listening out for any disapproval, when there was none she took the opportunity to push the two digits in, slowly (she maybe horny but she didn't want to hurt the smaller girl) "Oh so good" Rachel gasped holding Santana against her, Finn was obviously bigger than Santana when he was inside her, just about anyway, but the Latina was making her fill full in a whole new way.

Santana moaned against Rachel's neck and started to nibble lightly, before soothing it with her tongue. Rachel's own finger soon sliding inside her. She wiggled it around slightly trying her best to pleasure the girl above her. "Use two" Santana pleaded and Rachel obliged, pulling out her single finger, readying her second and pushing them back in, Santana's muscles tensing all around her.

"You're so tight baby" Santana moaned, completely overlooking the slip of the tongue, Rachel heard it but wasn't about to pull her up on it, not when her fingers felt so good right now. Santana brought her thumb up to stroke at Rachel's clit, it had been so long since she had done this she had to remind herself of how fast to move and how much pressure to use, but of course Rachel was different than Brittany, therefore may like something different so she opted to continue on slowly at first and build up her pace as they went.

Rachel tried to move at the same speed as Santana, she hadn't done this with a girl before but it didn't seem too hard once she had gotten into it. Santana was kind of surprised by how easily Rachel slipped into a steady enjoyable rhythm, the embarrassing stories she could tell of just how much she once sucked when she first started with Brittany, especially their very first time, it took her a little while before she could actually just get into it without overthinking everything.

Rachel followed Santana's lead and brought her own thumb up to brush across her nub, "Go faster, please" Rachel whined, needing more friction, desperate for it. Santana didn't hesitate before she was thrusting her hips to strengthen her movements, fingers pushing deeper inside each other as Rachel also began to thrust her hips up to meet the Latina.

"Shit Rachel" Santana groaned, her fingers were shorter than Britt's but that didn't stop them from getting just as deep, hitting all those perfect spots that built her up and sent her over. Their bodies heating up and sweat starting to shine on their skin as they moved as one. Gasps and moans filling the bedroom and the mattress creaking and hitting slightly against the wall as they went.

Rachel could already feel herself on the edge, she was already pretty close when Santana walked in on her so she knew she wasn't gonna take long, especially with the way she was expertly stroking her clit while pounding into her, it was very obvious now that she and Brittany did in fact do it twice a day when they were together. "Hmm Santana I'm gonna come" Rachel whimpered burying her head into the Latinas shoulder, trying to keep her own fingers going.

Rachel's words instantly made Santana wetter and a whole lot closer, another thing she had learned about Rachel from living with her was she wasn't exactly the good girl type that everyone thought she was. She was a neat girl but still left clothes around on the floor like any other young person did, and like now she seemed to swear when she got angry or was excited, Santana hoped Rachel was excited now rather than angry.

"Santana just rub my clit, please" Rachel begged surprising Santana slightly, she didn't like to be told what to do, but when it came to sex she always liked to make her girl feel as good as possible and give her exactly what she wanted. She pulled her fingers from Rachel's wet entrance and began to circle them hard and fast around the girl's bundle of nerves, thrusting her own hips into Rachel's hand, trying to get herself off too. "Oh god, oh god, oh fuck" Rachel gasped and her mouth hung open as her whole body shuddered under Santana. Santana's fingers still pressing down and stimulating until Rachel eventually went limp.

Rachel panted to regain her breath, but meanwhile her own hand was still and Santana hadn't come yet and she was desperate to make that happen, she looked down their sweating flushed bodies to see Rachel's fingers stilled inside her. She couldn't wait until Rachel had recovered instead she started driving her own hips into the girls hand, forcing the smaller girl's fingers deeper. She put her other hand down, still wet with Rachel's release, to support her full body weight, before starting to move faster.

"Rachel, don't move, fuck" Santana bit her own lip, concentrating on the immense pleasure and the tension building between her legs. A part of her wished she hadn't just come talking to Brittany on the phone so this orgasm could be just as powerful but she was never as sensitive after. She also wished Brittany would leave her mind right now, she already felt bad enough she was doing this literally after talking to Britt on the phone, but she couldn't deny how amazing she was feeling everywhere else. "Rachel god, so fucking good" she growled thrusting herself harder into the small girl's hand, brushing her clit against Rachel's palm.

Rachel watched as Santana moved above her, she was still out of breath but watching Santana like this only made her wet again, she had to help her out after the intense orgasm Santana had given her it wasn't fair to leave her hanging. She kept her fingers inside the Latina, keeping it still while she brought her other hand up running it along Santana's ass before placing it also between her legs rubbing at Santana's hard clit.

"Gonna. Fucking. Come" Santana thrust with each word, panted squeezing her eyes shut. Her arms were aching like hell but she wasn't about to give up when she was right on the edge. Rachel's fingers were working wonders down there and her thrusts were becoming jerky as she tried to seek that one last push "FUCK!" Santana shouted louder than either of them were expecting as she came around Rachel's fingers.

"Shit" Rachel whispered so quietly Santana couldn't even hear it when she saw and felt just how hard the Latina climaxed. Her release was seeping out of her, spreading down Rachel's fingers and across her hand, her inner muscles clamping down and squeezing Rachel hard, almost painfully.

Santana kept riding Rachel's hand for what felt like hours but in reality was only a few more seconds till she finally became too sensitive to keep going. "My god" she gasped before collapsing completely on top of Rachel, giving her almost no time to get her fingers free.

Their hot sweating bodies lay against each other, revelling in the after sex feeling while it lasted. Both girls getting their breath back as the whole bedroom was filled with the smell of what they had just done and that's when it hit Santana, it wasn't the smell of the usual love making she liked so much, it was infidelity and betrayal of trust.

"Crap" Santana muttered climbing off of Rachel and grabbing her clothes before starting to get dressed in a panic.

Rachel sat up a little lost as to what was going on "What's wrong?" she asked timidly

Santana didn't answer her till she was fully dressed again, facing her as she did up her pants "What do you mean _'what's wrong'_, we just had _sex_ Rachel, have you not been paying attention or something!" Santana said in a bitchy tone

"Why are you freaking out?" she furrowed her brows at the Latina, she didn't know why Santana was getting mad at her

"Cause, I just cheated!"

"But it was good, you liked it" Rachel said matter of fact

"Yeah I also like stealing from supply closets but it doesn't mean it's good for me. We said we weren't gonna do this then ten seconds later we're naked and screwing each other!" Santana said like it was obvious "Jesus Rachel why did you have to do this to me?"

"Don't blame this on me, I didn't force you to do anything, you were just as willing as I was!" Rachel's voice rising, sliding off the bed and grabbing her own clothes and redressing. "It's not my fault you can't keep it in your pants long enough to have a relationship" Rachel said a little more mean than she meant it to be

"Don't you dare say that, I love Brittany, I don't want anybody else other than her, this was a mistake!" Santana was now officially mad

"Yeah until next time" Rachel said knowing exactly what Santana was like by now

"NO, there WON'T be a next time, I can assure you this will NEVER EVER happen AGAIN, got it!"

"Whatever Santana, like I wanted this to happen" Rachel claimed

"Oh please Berry you wanted this, you were the one who was all throwing yourself at me"

"Look you know what, I don't care. Yeah it was fun and all but I've had better" Rachel lied knowing it would piss her roommate off "Maybe now we've done it once we won't have the urges anymore" she suggested

"It doesn't matter whether it was once or one hundred times, I've still just cheated!" Santana growled

"Well that's your own fault, you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to, if you really loved Brittany, going without sex every few weeks wouldn't be such a problem!" Rachel shouted and she knew as soon as it left her mouth she had gone too far

Instantly Santana shot her a death stare "Don't you dare say that, you don't know what me and Brittany have gone through. You don't know anything about me or her or us. And if you ever tell her I swear to god Rachel…" her eyes pierced through Rachel, nothing but threats and warnings filled her chocolate brow pools.

"You'll what Santana? You'll never talk to me again, never forgive me, you'll hurt me, break my heart, isn't that what you just did to Brittany?" Rachel smirked slightly but quickly found herself flinching when Santana lunged at her, fearing for her life she wiped her smirk away.

"Go to hell Rachel!" Santana said before turning around and storming out her bedroom slamming the door with a loud thud behind her.

The image of a hurt and pissed Santana lingered in Rachel's mind, she fell back on her messed up sheets gripping them in her hands and replaying all that just went down in her head, from the highs to the lows "Good going Berry" she whispered to herself with a sign

**A/N: **** Hope this was still good and leaves you wanting more, leave me a review let me know thoughts and ideas if you have any **


	3. Chapter 3

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 3

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Some Brittana and some Finchel in later chapters (but only because it's essential to the story)

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ** Ok sorry for the long wait with this chapter, long story short my laptop had to have a repair and therefore I wasn't able to use it for several weeks. Also this chapter probably has more Hummelberry than Pezberry but I can assure you don't worry, Pezberry will be picking up over the next few chapters, keep reading and you'll see.

**A/N 2:** To those of you, who may be waiting for an update for any of my other stories, I promise they will be coming as soon as possible; I'm trying my best to catch up with everything, thanks for the patience :)

Rachel had been up most of the night _again_, she just couldn't stop thinking about Santana, and what they had done. She knew she should probably apologise to the Latina but at the end of the day she was Rachel Berry, and Rachel Berry was _always_ right, even when she was wrong. Why should she say sorry first in any case, Santana said things that were just as hurtful and mean but it was getting to the point where Rachel was starting to think she was just going to have to be the bigger man and just suck it up. She _should_ apologise in all honesty, she said some really bad things, things she didn't at all mean and things she knew full well if anyone else would have said to Santana, the girl would have more than likely drop kicked them there and then. Rach knew it got too heated, she knew it right away but was just too full of herself to actually admit it to Santana that she was out of order

She sat on her bed as the previous night just kept replaying over and over again in her mind. Everything from what she and Santana had actually done to how Santana had made her feel and the way she hoped she had made Santana feel back. She found herself wondering if Santana too was thinking about their night together, and if she was, was she thinking about it positively or not. Was she still regretting it or was she curious for more? She had too many questions and wished she could just get a few answers for once.

Rachel stood from her bed and contemplated going over to Santana's room, she wanted to, she really did, she wanted to talk about what happened between them, but at the same time she didn't know if she could even face the Latina right now. Santana had seen her naked, she had touched her in the most intimate of places, she had seen her sex face and heard her sex noises and she had even made her orgasm at the end of it all, something Finn hadn't seen that often and even when he did he very rarely paid attention to it, but on top of all that there was their fight, the worse part of it all.

Rachel hated fighting at the best of times but when it was with one of her closest and only friends she hated it even more. She hadn't spoken to Santana since the incident and she really wanted to change that, she hated not speaking to her roommate and hoped she hadn't ruined their much valued friendship

She decided to go for it, she opened her bedroom door and stepped out into the hallway, looking towards Santana's own bedroom door, it was shut and she wondered if Santana would even be up just yet. She walked up to Santana's room battling with her words over what to actually say to the girl when she got there. She supposed 'I'm sorry' would most likely be the best start for the current situation

Rachel stood outside Santana's door, her hand tried to knock but she stopped before quickly composing herself then trying again, tapping gently on the wood. "Santana?" she softly whispered but there was no answer "Santana are you awake?" again no answer. Deciding against calling out again she instead opened the girl's door, hoping to god she wouldn't walk in on what she walked in on the night before, thankfully she didn't.

Santana was sat on her bed, back to the headboard and feet straight out in front of her, she had her headphones on listening to some rather loud music, of course not Broadway like Rachel would have been blasting from her stereo but what sounded like some form of rock and roll. Rachel smiled slightly when she noticed Santana was rocking to the music, her eyes closed and even a little air guitar in there for good measure. Santana's eyes cracked open and she caught sight of Rachel, halting all embarrassing movements and pulled her headphones off right away. She hung them around her neck but didn't turn off her music, only turning it down a few fractions on the volume controls instead "Can I help you Berry?" Santana said, not too warmly, adding a huff for effect

"I was… you didn't answer" Rachel replied shyly gesturing towards the now open door to make her point

"I couldn't hear you. Music" Santana said, pointing to her headphones that continued playing a rather obnoxious tune

"Right, course" suddenly feeling rather unwelcome Rachel looked around the Latina's room trying to find a distraction

"Rachel do you want something?" Santana asked beginning to sound annoyed. Rachel's eyes locked with her own as the smaller brunette took a seat on her bed near her feet "Let me guess, we're about to talk?"

"I'm sorry Santana" Rachel said instantly, placing a hand on the other girl's foot and squeezing it slightly, "Not for what we did, I'm not gonna apologise for that, cause despite what you say I know you enjoyed it too, but for what I said to you after it. That was out of order and I had no right to talk about you and Brittany like that" Rachel looked on at Santana waiting for a response, the girl's face seemingly giving nothing away, she was too good at that.

"How do you know I liked it?" Santana asked

"Because I could see it in your eyes last night, hear it in your voice, feel it in your touch. I know it sounds incredibly lame but it's true, it's all true. It's the same way I used to be like with Finn and it's the same way you used to look at Brittany" Rachel informed

"I _still do_ look at her like that, maybe _you_ just don't see it" Santana snapped, shifting her foot away from Rachel's reach.

"I didn't mean to make you mad; I'm just saying what I saw"

"Well that's all great but I have things to do" Santana tried to put her headphones back on but Rachel's small hands grasped around hers to stop her

"Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you felt absolutely nothing between us last night Santana" Rachel challenged

Santana sighed again, this obviously was gonna take a lot longer than she had hoped, she paused her music and pulled off her headphones placing them on the bedroom side along with her iPod. She looked at Rachel, staring deep into the diva's chocolate eyes like she was searching for something in particular "So what if I did?"

"Told you" Rachel smiled smugly

"I never said I did, I just said 'so what if I did', they're just feelings Rachel, it doesn't mean anything. I have a lot of feelings. I mean I love cake but it doesn't mean I wanna have sex with it does it" Santana explained

Rachel furrowed her brow at the thought "Well no cause that would be weird but you shouldn't ignore your feelings Santana. We have feelings for a reason" Rachel gave a gentle smile to reassure the other girl

Santana shifted, beginning to become uncomfortable "Yeah to make things extremely complicated and fuck everything up that's good in your life"

"So you're just gonna do nothing, despite the fact you clearly have some sort of emotion towards me that goes beyond just friendship"

"Fuck sake Rachel. What is it with you and feelings? Can't we just leave this, I don't wanna do anything about it, so who cares" Santana's began to raise her voice once more

"I care" Rachel responded with no hesitation "You can't go through your whole life pretending what you feel isn't real, it's not healthy" Rachel moved closer to Santana on the bed and both girls locked eyes again

"It's worked fine for me so far" Santana whispered, her eyes involuntarily darting from Rachel's dark brown eyes to her full plump lips; parted ever so slightly, practically begging to be kissed.

Rachel gave a laugh, she could see what their closeness was doing to the Latina, what effect it was having "Really Santana? Hiding your feelings didn't go so well when it came to wooing Brittany did it?" Rachel reminded. Everyone in Lima knew of the girl's adventure to simply admit her feelings for the blond, and then the whole love triangle with Artie and how well that went down.

"Ok so maybe I'm not that good at hiding my feelings in the long run but I don't see what that's gotta do with you" Santana practically growled

"Well when two people have feelings for each other it often helps if they act on them. Last night was a good start"

Santana sighed "I thought you said I filled your emotional void. You didn't say you had feelings for me" Santana really didn't want this getting any more complicated than it already was, she just couldn't _do_ complicated

"Yes that's right, and I'm willing to fill your physical, like I started in my room last night before you ran out" silence swept over the girls, neither knew what to say, until Rachel as usual spoke up again "Look Santana, I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't wanna do but I know what you want, what you need and I'm right here, right in front of you, willing to give it all to you" Rachel's voice was softer this time

Santana didn't know what overcame her but suddenly she was taken over by the moment and she was leaning in, forcing the space between Rachel's perfect lips and her own to disappear. Santana's lips brushed Rachel's but before they could turn the movement into a kiss Santana pulled away abruptly "Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" Santana panicked

"It's ok Santana, you don't have to apologise for anything" Rachel tried to calm her down but Santana jumped to her feet

"I need to go. I have to get to the post office, I need to send Brittany her train tickets for when she comes to visit in a couple of weeks" Santana darted her eyes around not knowing where to look. Rachel nodded "This never happened ok, promise me you won't tell anyone" Santana begged

"No, course not" Rachel agreed slightly disheartened, before she watched the taller girl rush out of the room

Santana made her way to the hallway and grabbed her college bag, finding the train ticket she had purchased for her girlfriend in a safely zipped pocket. She looked over the tickets one last time to assure they were for the correct dates and times, then took a spare envelope to put them in. she scribbled down Brittany's address on the front and slipped the tickets inside along with a hand written note she had done earlier in the week.

"Santana" a voice from behind her called out, making the girl spin around to see Rachel standing in her bedroom doorway looking a little sad

"What is it?" Santana wondered

Rachel shook her head "It doesn't matter, I'll see you later" the diva made her way back to her own room before shutting the door, leaving Santana a tad confused but she decided to leave it for now, she needed to post Brittany's train tickets

She left their apartment, and made her way down to the parking lot where both her own and Rachel's cars sat next to each other, Rachel's obviously slightly more upmarket than Santana's, but Santana was rather proud of her scratched up, bashed up and dirtied up truck and of course the rude and crude bumper sticker that sat on the back of the jeep. She got in the truck and decided to call Brittany, just to let her know she was posting the tickets this morning and to not let Lord Tubbington destroy the mail over the next few days.

She lifted her phone to her ear after pressing her girlfriend's number and waited patiently for the blond to answer, when she heard the sweet innocent voice greet her on the other end she took a deep breath before replying "Hey baby, how are you?"

"I'm good, tired though it's a little early" Britt said clearly yawning half way through her sentence

"Oh my god I'm sorry Britt I didn't wake you did I babes" the Latina wondered in panic, looking at her watch

"Oh no I was up, I'm just tired. And Santana you know I don't care if you wake me, I'd much rather be talking to you than dreaming about you, even if it is only through a phone" the blond sounded saddened

Santana's lips grew into a smirk and she licked her them ready to continue the conversation "So you've been dreaming about me have you?" she said knowingly

"I always dream about you Sanny"

"Oh yeah and what happens in these dreams of yours?" Santana's smirk grew wider

"Well let's just say last night's one left me all sweaty when I woke up but sweat wasn't the only thing that made me wet" Brittany informed in her seductive tone, with a cute giggle accompanying it

"Jesus Britt, you've got to stop already or you'll get me going" she warned, shifting in the car, trying to remove dirty thoughts and images from her head although she really didn't want to

"Maybe that's what I want" Britt teased

"Well then you'll have to wait, I'm in public, well I'm about to be. I just got in the car, on the way to the post office" the shorter girl informed

"Oh, why?"

"I got you your train tickets for when you come by in a couple of weeks' time, if you still want to that is" Santana said a little apprehensive

"Are you joking, of course I still wanna come see you? I love you; I can't stand being away from you any longer. And maybe we can make my dream into reality, cause god San, we haven't had sex in ages and I know you're probably desperate for it, I am too. It's so hard to concentrate without your head between my legs every night" the blond whined sending a jolt of arousal straight to Santana's core forcing the Latina to whimper down the phone, despite the fact it was a mix of becoming turned on and feeling completely guilty for cheating

"Can't wait" the smirk obvious in her tone

"Good, because I expect some expert lip action as soon as I get in your bedroom"

"Oh I can assure you, you'll get more than just lip action Brittany. I'm not gonna get off you all the time we're together" Santana promised

"And of course I wanna see Rachie, not seen her for years" Britt exaggerated

"Sure you can say hi, but then sex and lots of it"

"Guess I'll let you go then because I can't visit if you don't post the tickets" the sweet girl giggled

"Oh right yeah" Santana remembered "I'll call you later" she assured

"Not if I call you first" she laughed again "Bye baby, I love you"

"Love you too Britt" and they both hung up their phones. Santana threw hers on the passenger seat next to where she had placed the envelop to send to her girlfriend. She pushed the keys in the ignition and started up the car, instantly opening a window to help decrease the slight blush she had grown on her cheeks

"God give me strength" she muttered to herself, could she be any more confused right now.

She pulled out the parking lot and headed in the direction of the closest post office, she had used it several times when posting hand written letters to her parents. She insisted email or social networking was faster and free but her mother still liked the old fashioned way of communicating. When she got there she parked outside, grabbed her stuff and jumped out her truck, smiling at the creak the door made when she shut it, she had always loved that. Santana walked in the nearby building and made her way to an available kiosk to be served by a red haired girl, she looked about 25 and was wearing a particularly low cut shirt that exposed everything Santana wished she wasn't currently staring at.

"Can I help you ma'am" the red head said seemingly ignoring the extra attention.

Her voice jolted Santana back into 'not being a perve', though on Santana's defence who is this girl calling 'ma'am' "Oh, um yeah, I need to post this letter" Santana said handing it over, eyes wandering to all the wrong places once more, that shirt really is _too_ short and that's coming from Santana Lopez, girl who would usually wear a dress that exposes her underwear just for the fun of it.

The girl took the letter while Santana drowned out anything she was actually saying. '_Damn she has really nice tits'_ Santana thought to herself '…_kinda like Brittany's…or Rachel's…what, no Rachel? What am I saying? Brittany is my girlfriend. I love Brittany, Rachel was a mistake' _Santana shook her head in order to rid herself of these confusing feelings only to find the red head staring at her with a frown "Uh what? Did you say something?" Santana wondered

"I said is this all you are posting today?" she repeated with a huff

"Oh yeah sure that's all" Santana said as she handed over some change from her pocket, there was clearly far too much there but she wasn't exactly thinking 'straight' right now

The girl sorted out the correct amount Santana owed for the letter and then pushed the rest of the coins back in her direction. San collected the leftover changed and shoved it back into her pocket.

Back at the apartment Rachel was laying on her bed, she really couldn't work out what to do. She was seriously worried she may have ruined her friendship with her roommate and the thought was beginning to depress her. "Why did you have to go jump her, huh, Rachel huh?" the diva asked herself, pouting at her own question "Why go and say such horrible things too, god what if she never wants to speak to me again. What if she tells Brittany and Brittany hates me too, or if they break up because of me, what was I thinking. God Berry you are such an idiot sometimes" Rachel berated herself but was interrupted when she heard a buzzing to the side of her bed. She sat up and looked over to see her phone lighting up, she smiled at the fact she was being texted, that didn't happen often.

She reached over to grab it and saw it was from Kurt, she smiled sadly, remembering how they had planned to come to New York together but after she got in to NYADA and Kurt didn't that all changed, he stayed in Lima and she hadn't seen him for a long time, though they still kept in contact most days via email. She knew Kurt was still happy though as he was able to stay with Blaine. She opened up the text and began to read it

_From Kurt:_

_Hey, how's my favourite diva, don't tell Mercedes I said that ;)_

_God I miss you Rach, we so have to get together, how's everything? How's the demon spawn?_

Rachel's smile turned from a sad one to a happy one, then into a louder than expected laugh, she really did miss her favourite gay…don't tell Santana she said that

She decided to call Kurt up instead of texting him back, after all she had nothing better to do and Kurt normally just moaned at her for the lack of slang text speak whenever she would attempt to text or email him. She let her phone ring several times before she heard Kurt's voice answer

"_Oh she is alive then_?" he joked

"Hello to you too Kurt" she giggled "I'm good by the way, and so is Santana thanks for asking" she laughed again

"_Glad to hear it"_

"How are you and Blaine doing?" Rachel inquired

She instantly heard Kurt sigh _"Oh the same, I love him obviously but we haven't spent much time together recently. He's either been at school or doing homework and if he's not doing any of that he's working on his latest glee assignment, we haven't had sex in like two weeks"_ Kurt informed

"That's a little bit too much info there Kurt but don't worry, I know it's hard but I mean at least you have someone. Blaine loves you just ask him to set aside a day or a night to just be alone with each other" Rachel advised

"_We'll were spending tomorrow with each other, he hasn't got any school related stuff to do so it's the perfect opportunity for some Klaine time"_ he laughed _"And don't worry before you say it, I got the condoms yesterday so we're all ready to go"_

"I wasn't about to ask but glad to hear you can never be too careful"

"_Oh I forgot to say, I spoke to Mercedes the other day, she's doing great and she's even dating around too, I mean I still think she's holding out for Sam but at least she's trying to move on" _

"God I miss Mercedes, I miss you all"

"_We all miss you too even if some of us say it without the sincerity"_

"Ha-ha funny"

"_So what about Santana? How is she doing without Britt. I mean Brittany is constantly talking about her and how much she misses her and she even says they have great phone sessions, I try to pretend I don't know what that means but really all I'm thinking is god they're 500 miles away from each other and still getting it on more than I am"_ Kurt sighed again with exaggeration

"Santana is…um she's good…she's ok" Rachel stuttered

"_What's wrong? You sound like you're hiding something"_ Kurt said most likely raising an eyebrow for the latest gossip

Rachel debated about whether or not she should tell Kurt the truth, she knew she could trust him and she had no one else so why not? "It's nothing just…Kurt have you ever liked a guy that likes you too but he just can't admit it?"

"_Well we all know how Karofsky turned out; I take it this has something to do with Lopez? Oh my god!"_ he shrieked and Rachel honestly thought he had put down the phone and given it to the closest 12 year old girl he could find _"Don't tell me, Santana is in love with you but you're totally not into her and need to let her down easy?"_ Kurt said like he had figured it all out

"Well…um you're kinda right but also horribly wrong at the same time" Rachel gave one last thought about telling Kurt, after all she did make a promise to Santana not to but she just had to tell someone "What would you say if I told you, me and Santana kinda had sex last night and now we're both confused about it but Santana refuses to admit it was more than just a mistake" Rachel explained in one quick breath

"_So I'm gonna jump to the conclusion this actually happened and that this is no longer a hypothetical scenario. And I'm gonna say Jesus Rachel what the hell is wrong with you, she has a girlfriend!?"_ he screamed down the phone

"I know I know, it just kinda happened and yes I know she is with Brittany and I love Brittany as a friend, she is sweet and I don't want to see her get hurt but what happened with me and Santana was something I have never experienced before. And being with her was so much different than being with Finn" Rachel tried to rationalise her actions

"_That's probably because she doesn't have a penis_" Kurt deadpanned

Rachel rolled her eyes and huffed down the phone "No I don't mean it was different physically Kurt and yes it's obviously she doesn't have a penis. I mean she was different in terms of emotionally, I felt connected to her, in a new way, and I've never seen her like that. She was almost vulnerable"

"_Rachel don't go down this road ok, Santana and Brittany have a good thing, and you know Santana isn't exactly very clear when it comes to feelings_" the boy warned

"Tell me about it, but the thing is I think she liked it too in fact I know she liked it and I think she feels something for me. You know something she doesn't want to admit"

"_I'm not gonna try and get involved, one cause I know nothing about lesbians and two cause I don't think I'm really qualified to offer relationship advice when me and Blaine aren't exactly the healthiest of couples right now. All I'm gonna say is watch out, I just don't want to see you get hurt Rachel, Santana and Britt too. Promise me you won't do anything stupid and you'll be careful"_

"Ok Kurt, I promise, and thank you" Rachel smiled to herself

"_So are you like gay now or…?" _

"I have no idea, but I'll keep you posted" she joked, being into a girl wasn't exactly what she was worried about, it was the identity of the girl she liked that freaked her out a little bit

"_Thanks…so was she good? In bed I mean?"_ Kurt wondered

"Kurt!" Rachel reprimanded "I thought you didn't like to know about lesbians and girl on girl sex?" Rachel smirked

"_True but you can't blame a guy for being curious even if he is as gay as Elton John's wardrobe at the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Concert" _

"I don't even know what that is?" Rachel mentioned, feeling a little out of sync with her best friend, not having as much of an interest with the Royal family as he did

"_Sorry, I've been watching far too much 'ABC' recently, but you're not getting out of this question. So how was she in the bedroom, I feel Britt exaggerates a little when she talks about it. Is she really 'mind shattering'?" _he mocked quoting the blonde's words from the other day

"Oh she was far more than mind shattering; she was out of this world. She was like a musical with a cast compiled of Barbra Streisand, Patti LuPone and Elizabeth Taylor topped off with some Cher" Rachel said marvelling at her own creation

Kurt sucked in a deep breath, clearly picturing the same thing _"Oh my god, she's that good!" _he sounded surprised _"Maybe I should send Blaine to her and she can give him some coaching"_ he joked leading to both of them cracking up in a fit of laughter. _"Hey I got an idea, why don't I come for a visit during the break. I mean Blaine said Brittany was constantly talking about how she is going to go see Santana in the holidays, so maybe if I was there it could be less awkward?" _he suggested

"Oh no I couldn't possibly take you away from Blaine, I'm sure you and him have a lot of catching up to do while he's off school?" Rach wondered

"_That's ok, Cooper is back in town and he's taking Blaine off on a trip that week so I'm basically free" _

"Well in that case I guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks"

"_I'll purchase a ticket next week, but in the meantime remember what I said, be careful and I don't mean use condoms"_ he teased

Rachel laughed down the line "Don't worry, I will" she was now completely over excited to see her best gay, huge grin on her face

Their conversation was interrupted when Rachel heard the front door close and a voice "Hey Rach, you in?" Santana shouted, dumping her stuff down by the door and making her way to Rachel's room, where the door was open so she made her way in. She saw Rachel was on the phone and sat down on the bed next to her, waiting patiently.

"Ok Kurt, so I'll talk to you soon"

"Oh that's Kurt?" Santana asked before leaning closer to the phone "Hey Ladylips, how's it going?" she teased

Santana heard muttering on the other end and Rachel translated "He said he misses you too Satan" this caused Santana to grin with pride at the nickname. "Bye Kurt" Rachel finished before hanging up her phone and placing it back on the side

"I kinda do miss gay Hummel, I miss the crazy outfits he could come up with" Santana admitted thinking about old times and looking down at her hands

"Well you may get a good laugh soon then, because he's coming to visit during the holidays. So at least I won't be getting in the way of you and Brittany" Rachel informed almost sounding a little upset by it

"Look Rach, I'm sorry I said those things last night. I really didn't mean them, I was just mad I guess" the Latina locked eyes with the diva

"No you don't have to apologise, ok I should be saying sorry. Sorry for accusing you of not really loving Brittany cause I know you do obviously and you're right I don't know anything about what you two went through to get where you are, so I'm sorry for all of that"

"Don't worry about it Rach, we both said things we didn't mean. I think we both know it got a little out of hand and definitely a little heated, maybe we should just forget it and move on" she suggested with a shrug

"Is that really what you want though?" Rach asked and Santana gave it some thought but before she could respond Rachel continued "Never mind, you don't have to answer. Are you gonna tell Britt when she comes here?" Rachel was worried now

Santana immediately shook her head "Hell no, don't worry. I don't want to hurt her for no reason. It's our secret" a secret wasn't really what Rachel wanted, especially one so dark but what other choice did she have?

"Ok" Rachel agreed, and a rather awkward silence swept over them

"So how was Kurt then?" Santana asked breaking the silence

"He's good yeah" Rachel smiled "He's having a little trouble in paradise with Blaine but he asked about you, and he said that Brittany is always talking about you too" Rachel's smile grew bigger

"God what does he do, just hang around in McKinley now or something?" Santana wondered and Rachel laughed at the thought, knowing it was most likely a very true statement. Santana looked at Rachel, she had always loved that girl's laugh, of course she'd never tell the diva about such affections but she really did have a cute laugh, in fact it was so cute it forced Santana closer and before either girl knew what was going on their lips were connected in a sweet gentle kiss, led by Santana. The Latina's hand cupping the side of Rachel's face, her thumb carefully brushing over the other girl's soft cheek.

Their lips brushed against each other's, and light moans left between their parted mouths when Santana's tongue pushed inside Rachel's mouth, the physical connection reminding Santana of the fact she had been left aroused from the phone call with her girlfriend earlier and that red heads stupid tits didn't exactly help, all in her face and what not.

Santana pushed on Rachel's shoulders gently laying her back on the bed and climbing on top of her, one hand brushed down Rachel's thigh and the diva whimpered into the taller girl's mouth. It was obvious where this was heading when the kiss grew deeper and Rachel didn't want another fight on her hands so she decided to voice her opinion before it got too out of hand again. "San stop, wait" she said softly pushing Santana back by the shoulders and sitting up slightly "We shouldn't, not after last night, it's not right" she said knowing her mind and the growing throb between her legs were both screaming the total opposite.

Santana sighed "Rach, I need you" she whispered, ignoring the diva's apprehension and attaching her hot wet lips to the smaller girl's neck, gently nibbling on the soft skin forcing a moan from Rachel. Santana knew she could slip off to her own room and just phone the girl whose job it was to pleasure her but right now she needed more. She was overcome with the physicality of being pressed up against Rachel, she needed sex, not masturbating while hearing Brittany's voice, she _needed_ good old fashioned sex, and Rachel was the only answer.

Rachel didn't want to say no either, Santana like this was all new to her but she was an instant fan, she needed something too and she was desperately searching for it. Being with Santana gave her a sense that she was needed and she felt she was emotionally complete when Santana was sucking on her skin like the way she was right now, she didn't want to push Santana away, even if she knew she would most likely regret it after.

"God San, kiss me please" Rachel begged, being taken over by her arousal and emotion. Her small hands reaching straight for Santana's belt and undoing it, then making quick work of the girl's pants button. Santana pulled away and reattached her lips to the cleavage of Rachel's shirt, licking the smooth skin she found there, her hot breath stroking just as heated skin. Rachel gasped when she felt Santana's hand creep closer to her thumping core and cup her through her pants. God why did she wear pants today, she never wears pants, what she wouldn't do to be wearing a thin skirt right now…or better yet, nothing at all.

Rachel sat up slightly and tore her own shirt off throwing it to the ground without a care in the world, then reaching behind herself to unclasp her bra, letting it fall in her lap where Santana took a hold of it and threw it aside, before leaning down and taking a hardening nipple into her mouth, sucking and licking it slowly. Rachel fell back down and could feel Santana undo those damn pants that she for some reason decided was a good idea to wear that day and slide them down Rachel's legs breaking contact with her for just a short second until the girls mouth was back to exploring her chest again. Rachel relaxed into the contact, there was no way she could stop herself now even if she wanted to.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good" Santana husked against her body as the Latina's soothing lips crept lower, and her hands made themselves at home on her breasts, thumbing her nipples and kneading the soft flesh. A moan instantly escaping Rachel's lips, knowing exactly what she was in for when she felt the hot breath through her slowly soaking panties…

**A/N: **** Ok, so kinda struggled a little with this chapter, could you tell? And sorry for the not so sexy ending, I felt leaving it there was more appropriate. The next chapter will most likely be Britt and Kurt's visit and don't worry still no Finchel just yet lol. **

**Sorry again for the long wait, but please, please review and let me know your thoughts, hopefully you're still into this one**

**Please Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 4

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Some Brittana and some Finchel in later chapters (but only because it's essential to the story)

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ** **So glad you guys liked the last chapter hope you all enjoy this one too, I know I said Britt and Kurt would be in this one but unfortunately they didn't make it in, this chapter is a little more random than I expected but they will most likely be in the next chapter so don't worry.** **Also I apologise this chapter was a bit of a wait.**

Rachel was first to wake up, her eyes immediately seeking out her alarm clock, she cursed under her breath when she saw the big 00:09 showing, she had never slept through the day before, Santana must have really worn her out. Speaking of Santana, Rachel rolled over onto her back to see said girl fast asleep, or past out, Rachel really wasn't too sure after the day they'd had. She could hear Santana's breath as the girl occasionally shuffled in her bed. Rachel's whole body was still tingling from head to toe, she couldn't remember a time she had ever felt so satisfied, but at the same time she had this image of Brittany's face burned into the back of her head, she just couldn't seem to shake it. She could picture the tears and the heartbreak of the blond if she was to find out, or walk in on them even, what if she walked in right now to see both of them completely naked and lying in bed together like this? She tried to shake the thoughts away but it seemed harder than expected, she gave one last look to the Latina beside her before gently climbing out of bed, being sure not to wake her. She grabbed her robe and slipped it over her naked body.

She got to her bedroom door and opened it quietly before sneaking out the room and making her way to the kitchen. Rachel headed straight to the sink and picked up a clean glass from the side before filling it with water. She sighed heavily and took a large sip of the water; she really didn't know what to feel now. This was the second time she had slept with Santana and she liked it, in fact she loved it but it didn't seem right not when Santana was still with Brittany. Her dads brought her up to be a 'nice' girl, she wasn't the sort to get in the way of other peoples relationship, but there was something about Santana that forced her to do things she would never normally do, something she really liked.

Rachel headed back to her room and placed her water down on the side before climbing back into bed, it was then she heard a light grunt and she could feel Santana moving around.

"Rachel?" Santana said in a husky 'just woken up' tone as she sat up in bed, it was still dark in her room without the lights on and the only light was coming in from the window, but it was enough to just about make out Santana's features. Rachel didn't say anything back; she couldn't make out how Santana was feeling about their night together or rather day. "I guess I should go back to my own room" San stated and before she knew it Rachel was agreeing with her. Rachel didn't really want Santana to leave, she liked having her in her bed, she was warm and she kept her company but a part of her rationalised it wasn't quite as bad if she and Santana didn't spent the whole night together after their act.

Santana lifted the bed sheet off of her body and sat on the edge of the mattress while she reached down and felt around for the shirt she remembered roughly yanking off earlier that day. Rachel could see the outline of the girl's perfect full breasts as the moonlight lit up her silhouette, but she looked away out of respect as Santana pulls her T-shirt back on and stands up to locate her pants and underwear

"Are you ok?" Santana's husky voice fills the silent room once more, she seemed genuinely curios

"Yeah I'm fine" Rachel replied but didn't really know why she was asking if she was ok or not, was she just referring to the sex or something more emotional

Santana bent down when she saw her pants on the floor, she couldn't see very well in the darkness but was sure she had found her underpants too, so she redressed in both garments before making her way to the bedroom door where she stopped once again. "Thank you Rach. Goodnight" she said softly and walked out back to her own room. Rachel sat in her bed slightly confused, she didn't know what was going through Santana's mind right now, why did she thank her? Maybe this was another one of those one time things. Maybe Santana just needed intimacy of some sort today

"Goodnight Santana" Rachel whispered to herself knowing Santana had already gotten back to her own room anyway. She looked down at her sheets before remaking the side Santana was previously laying on. Then she slipped down in her bed, willing herself to fall back to sleep next to the warm patch San had left.

"Fuck" Santana muttered as she fell face first onto her bed, she couldn't believe she had let this happen to her _yet_ again. She always knew she had bad self-control, what with her anger and all but this was ridiculous, she had now cheated on Brittany not once but twice and she regretted it more than anything, but she just couldn't help it. There was something about Rachel, maybe it was just the fact she kinda reminded Santana of Britt but maybe it was more than that, maybe she really did like the diva as more than a friend, not that she would admit that of course. She loved Brittany, her girlfriend. "Ouch" Santana hissed as she felt something stabbing her in the leg. She reached down to her pocket to pull her cell phone out of her pants. Looking at the screen she could see she had three missed calls from Brittany "Even bigger fuck" Santana whispered and the next thing she knew she was drifting off into a much needed sleep.

By the time morning came around her guilt had been forgotten, that was until she was awoken by a certain blond on the phone, she knew she best answer it she couldn't miss yet another one of Brittany's calls, it just wasn't fair to her. She grabbed her phone that was still on her bed and accepted the call "Hey baby" she said trying to sound as casual as possible

"_You didn't answer_" the blond on the other end responded with a sad disappointed tone, instantly breaking Santana's heart

"I know babe, I'm so sorry, my battery was dead and then I just fell asleep. I was so tired but I sent your tickets anyway and they should be there in a day or two" Santana reassured

"_Thanks Sanny, you're the best girlfriend ever you know that_?" Britt said, immediately perking right up

"Oh come on Britt Britt, I'm sure I'm not perfect"

"_Well you're close enough that's for sure; I don't know what I'd do without you"_

"Well if I'm close to perfect then what are you?" Santana smiled

"_Oh I'm more than perfect_" Britt joked confidently

"You sure are baby" Santana said not at all joking

"_What are you doing right now?"_ Britt asked

"Well I was asleep until you called" Santana replied honestly

"_Oh I'm sorry baby; I was just worried about you that's all" _Britt spoke apologetically

"That's ok; I'm not tired anymore anyway"

"_Well maybe I could do something to make it up to you"_ Britt suggested, flirtation dripping from her voice

"I'd love to Britt but I'm actually not really in the mood right now"

"_Are you sure you're ok baby?"_ Brittany said becoming worried, it wasn't often her girlfriend wasn't in the mood

"Yeah I'm fine, I swear. You know me, I don't really like morning sex that's all, besides I'd rather wait till I can have you in person" Santana tried to justify her choice, adding in her own sexy tone

"_I'm so excited, can't wait. I should go anyway; I'm taking Lord Tubbington to his first AA meeting. I love you"_ Britt said chirpily

"Love you Britt" Santana hung up her phone and put it on the side and decided she best change her outfit and freshen up.

Once Santana felt ready she went out to get her morning coffee, she hoped Rachel wasn't gonna be in the kitchen but then again it was Rachel. She stumbled over her college bag on her way. When she got there Rachel was sat at the table sipping at her own coffee "I just made a fresh pot" was the first thing the diva said

"Oh thanks" Santana replied not looking at Rach but instead making her own cup. When it was done she just stood there refusing to turn around in case Rachel mentioned last night, but it didn't stop the girl from talking

"So what was that last night? And why did you say thank you?" Rach asked

Santana eventually turned around to face the music "I just needed someone" she said quietly almost as if she was ashamed of her answer

"So it was just sex again then?" Rachel wondered as her fingertips played anxiously with the brim of her coffee cup

"What did you think it was?" Santana countered, not really knowing an answer to give Rachel.

"Nothing, I understand" Rachel said as she got up and left the room clearly rather annoyed by Santana's recent hot and cold behaviour. She gave a thought to back when they were in school and how she could spontaneously break into song and sing Katy Perry's 'Hot N' Cold' to the Latina and it would sort it all out but they were no longer in glee club so it would just be a tad inappropriate. Rachel knew Santana by now, she wasn't as hard to figure out as the girl liked to pretend and Rach was almost certain Santana had more than 'just friends' feelings for her but of course being so stubborn it was even harder to get a word out of her mouth about it. Rachel could see it in Santana's eyes when she looked into hers last night and she could definitely feel it in her touch and kiss, there was no doubt. Friends and even fuck buddies do not look at each other that way.

Santana sighed to herself as she watched the little diva walk away; she really wasn't having very good luck with the girls in her life nor her emotions right now. She went back to her own room and spent the rest of the weekend in there doing her own thing

Once Monday came around neither girl had spoken or seen one another, Santana hoped to sneak off to class without Rachel seeing her at all, she knew Rachel didn't start classes until later in the day and she thought she could grab her coffee and step out without Rachel even knowing. She quickly got ready for college and left her bedroom. "Morning!" Santana heard a chirpy all too familiar voice when she walked into the kitchen

"Oh I didn't know you were up" San said

Rachel just shrugged "Aren't I always up at this time?"

"Yeah I guess" Santana shrugged back

"Are you ok?" Rachel wondered looking Santana up and down

"Yeah I'm fine" Santana assured becoming a little fidgety

"Didn't see you much over the rest of the weekend" Rachel inquired, trying to make some sort of conversation like nothing at all happened between them after sensing Santana's unease

"Uh yeah I just had this big essay to write so…" Santana said, she did have an essay to write but it wasn't one that took up her entire weekend

"Oh ok. Ah well do you want some coffee?" Rachel asked, knowing that was what Santana came in the room for in the first place

Santana looked around the room before replying "Um no I gotta get to class" she said, she did want a coffee but she was feeling far too uncomfortable around Rachel to stay and make one so she decided to get out as quickly as possible. "So I guess I'll see you later"

Rachel just nodded "Sure"

"Cool" Santana said as she grabbed her college bag

"San wait. Are we gonna talk about it?" Rachel wondered

"Talk about what?" Santana huffed already knowing what Rachel meant

"You know what Santana, that's the second time we've had sex now and we're not even gonna mention it" Rachel seemed a little pissed off as she spoke

"We did talk about it the other day, there's nothing else to say Rach. Yeah we had sex again, it was fun what more is there to say?"

Santana could see Rachel just wanted some answers but it was clear she wasn't going to get any right now "Nothing I guess" she accepted

"Look I really gotta get to class I'm sorry ok" Santana tried to reason but it didn't do much to lighten the diva's mood

"Ok, have a good day" Rach said not even looking at the Latina anymore

"Thanks, you too" Santana picked up her keys and headed out the door faster than necessary

In class Santana wasn't having much luck concentrating on what her lecturer was saying, she was too busy thinking about Rachel and the other day. She had a few realisations during her class, for example she had never tasted another girl other than Britt and Rachel was now on that list, she remembers promising Brittany one night she would never make love to another person the way she does to her, she had never broken a promise to Britt till the other night. Her head was filled with thoughts of that night, the feel of Rachel's fingers as she touched her skin, the way she brushed each of the sensitive nerves between her legs. Santana didn't really know what was going through her mind, and she definitely didn't know what was going through her head when she was going down on Rachel, breaking that one promise she had made to Brittany all that time ago. She really didn't know but the thought of just needing to be used to give pleasure to another came into her mind, plus getting pleasure herself at the same time, she wished it was Britt but it wasn't, it had to be Rachel because she was there when no one else was, but deep down she knew it was more than just a _need_. Santana is interrupted when she felt a vibration in her pant pocket, she subtly reached in and pulled out her cell phone to see she had received a text from Brittany, a smile instantly graced her face.

_From Britt:_

_Hey Sanny, just wanted to say thanks, my tickets came this morning and I can't wait to cum and see you. Here's a little thank you gift of my own and a preview of what you can expect ;) _

Santana read over the text and saw there was a picture attached, this must be the preview, Santana thought. She had an idea of what it was already but decided to open it in class just because she hadn't seen Brittany for so long, plus her curiosity was getting the better of her. Santana stared at the picture that Britt had sent, she was right, it was a picture of Brittany lying on her bed in nothing but her favourite bra and panties, she must have been getting ready for school when she took these. Santana's eyes scanned every pixel of the picture and she couldn't help but smirk "Jesus Britt" she whispered to herself but then another came through, this time she was in the same garments but different position.

Santana squirmed in her seat a little then quickly looked around to make sure no one was paying attention, when she was sure she wasn't being watched she went back to the sexy pictures, absentmindedly zooming in on the assets on show. A third pic comes through and Santana excitedly opens it, this time Britt has moved on to be braless but her panties are still on, she's sat on her bed and Santana immediately knows where this is going, and apparently so does her lady parts because she's begins to get more and more turned on as she studies the pictures. She shuffles in her seat trying to stay comfortable but now all she can think about is Brittany's pale perky breasts and her perfect soft body that she could practically feel against her own skin. She could feel a familiar tingling sensation starting between her legs and she knew she had gone too far and there was only one way out of this situation now.

She stood up abruptly and grabbed her stuff until she was stopped by her lecturer "I'm sorry are you finding my teaching boring?" the woman asked

Santana turned around to face her and most of the eyes that were now on her "Ah, no you're very…interesting" she says remembering the other day when the very same woman decided to wear such a short skirt that Santana had to dash off once again in the middle of her speaking to do the very thing she planned to do today "I'm just not feeling that well, so I'm gonna go" Santana smiled hoping to get away

"Well in that case, I'd rather you didn't vomit on my floor so be my guest" the woman said gesturing for her to leave

"Thank you" Santana replied before leaving the class room and heading directly to the least used girl's bathroom on campus. Once she gets there, she gives a quick scan of the cubicles to make sure she's completely alone before taking the furthest away one and locking herself in. She wastes no more time and drops her pants sitting on the closed toilet seat and lets her left hand slip past her underwear waistband. Just as she begins to feel just how wet she had gotten by the pictures alone, she felt her phone vibrate as a few more came through. This was no preview, she was now being spoiled but she wasn't exactly complaining.

Santana opened up the new pictures, now Brittany was fully naked and on show to the camera, her left hand touching her own breasts. Santana began to pant as she got closer and closer to orgasm, when another came through. Brittany's legs were now parted and her hand was on her stomach getting nearer to her own sex, Santana knows exactly where this is going and she can't wait, but obviously the universe wants her to when her cell phone starts vibrating again but this time not from a text but a phone call.

At first she gets excited thinking it's from Britt herself wishing to carry on personally but her excitement soon diminished when she saw Rachel's name popping up on her screen. "Fuck" Santana muttered, she was too far gone to stop, she thought about not answering at all but if she didn't there was no way Rachel would stop calling, Rachel just isn't the sort of person to give up phoning someone till they answer, even if they're meant to be in class, Santana thinks that's the reason Finn ended up getting a new number. "God dammit" she muttered once more under her breath as she stilled her hand though didn't remove it from her underwear and answered the phone.

"Um hey Rach what's up?" Santana greeted trying her best not to sound too turned on, out of breath or pissed off

"San, sorry if I interrupted anything, you're probably in class. I was gonna just text you if you didn't answer" Rachel replied and Santana cursed herself, she should have just left it after all "Don't worry, it's not about the other day and what we did" Santana breathed a sigh of relief when she heard that "I was just gonna ask if you could get some milk on the way back from college, I have a late dance class tonight so I probably won't have much time?" she asked

"Milk? Are you serious?" Santana wondered becoming unable to control her tone, Rachel interrupted her 'alone time' for a shopping request

"Well you know how I get if I don't have any soy milk in the fridge" Rachel warned

Santana let out another sigh but this time it was of defeat "Fine I'll get some, is that all?"

"Yes thank you very much" Rachel said clearly with a huge satisfied smile on her face

Santana couldn't help but smile to herself as she knew Rachel was doing the same "That's ok Rach, talk to you later"

"Bye San" Rachel said in an almost silent voice

Santana thinks just how lucky she actually was the bathroom was still empty because anyone hearing that conversation would have been extremely confused. She decides to carry on with what she was doing before the interruption occurred. She got the picture of Brittany back up on her phone and she begins to think about it, she's thinks about Brittany's little happy face and how she trusts San to be faithful to her and how she's let Britt down big time. Then she flicks to the next picture and realises she flicked the wrong way because she wasn't met with another one of her girlfriend, instead she had gone to a picture of Rachel. She remembered taking the photo, it was when she and Rachel first moved in to the New York apartment, Rachel had her arm around San and they were both smiling and Santana remembered the day clearly. She smiled at the nostalgic memory and then flicked to the next one. Her eyes immediately shot wide open with the memory of this one, it was a picture of Rachel in her bikini and she definitely could never forget taking that shot

_Flashback:_

"_Are you just gonna sit there all day or are you gonna go unpack?" Rachel smiled at Santana who was lying on her bed just watching the diva unpack her clothes and put them into her new dresser_

"_No I'm good here thanks Rach" Santana happily replied, watching the brunette carry on as she made herself more comfortable on the mattress "Oh my god, holy fuck? What's that?" Santana started to laugh as she pointed at the current garment in Rachel's hands_

_Rachel rolled her eyes as she looked at the Latina still laughing on her bed "It's a bikini Santana" Rachel informed_

"_No shit Rach, I know that. I mean why do you have it?"_

"_In case I ever need it" Rachel casually stated "You know it's great for all the pool parties and stuff"_

"_You went to pool parties?" Santana asked completely shocked by this new information_

"_Well no not exactly but I had it in case I was ever actually invited to a pool party" Rachel corrected almost sadly and Santana felt kinda bad, she didn't exactly ever think to invite Rachel to any of the parties she had thrown or went to but then again she never knew Rachel was really interested in any of that kind of stuff._

_Santana got an idea "Put it on" she said with a smirk_

_Rachel looked surprised at the girls request "Excuse me?" she asked _

"_Go on please, I've never seen you in a bikini before, I wanna see it" Santana admitted_

"_Why? So you can get a good look at my goodies" Rachel playfully joked_

"_Yeah you wish, you know I only have eyes for Britt" _

"_Fine but you have to look away until I say you can look" Rachel said_

"_Why, you got a dick down there you don't want me to see or something?" Santana joked_

"_Hilarious San, now turn around or I won't do it" Rachel gestured with her hands for Santana to turn around _

"_Fine" Santana gave in to the diva's request and turned to the side so she couldn't see Rachel _

_A few minutes later and Rachel spoke up again "Ok you can turn around now" she said and Santana instantly spun around to see Rachel in her bikini, ok she definitely did NOT have a dick down there, Santana thought_

"_Oh my god, Rachel you look really…different, you look good, not that you don't normally look good" Santana said with a genuine tone, "Let me take a picture" she got out her cell phone and got the camera ready_

"_No, no way, I don't want a picture of it" Rachel refused and Santana started to think that maybe she was invited to those parties but she just didn't go_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because, I don't really like my body" Rach admitted sadly as she attempted to cover as much as herself with her arms. Santana, sensing her shyness, crawled off the bed and walked towards Rachel._

"_Are you kidding? Rachel you have a beautiful body" Santana assured as her eyes absentmindedly scanned the girl. There was no reason for this girl to be insecure about the way she looked; it was no wonder Finn creamed his pants the moment Rachel took off a sock. Her boobs were small but they were still very nice assets indeed, she had the sexiest hips and her skin was slightly tanned all over. "You have really nice legs for a short girl, you know that" Santana smiled and Rachel smiled back_

"_You're just saying that, I mean you've been with Brittany there's no way you can think I've got a nice body when you've seen hers" _

"_Rachel you're not Brittany, you're Rachel berry, a totally different person. I'm not comparing you, I'm seeing you as you and I'm telling you you are fucking gorgeous as hell. Now will you take the compliment and let me take a picture so I can show you the evidence" _

"_Ok, but if it's not good then I get to delete it" she reasoned_

"_Whatever you want" San smiled_

"_Go on then" Rachel said in mocked defeat and Santana held up her phone and snapped a picture, then Rachel got a bit more confident and began to pose for the next few. Her brunette hair fell perfectly around her shoulders as the girl did a mock model shoot for Santana and the camera. After several pictures were taken Santana showed the results to Rachel. The diva picked out one she liked and asked Santana to delete the rest and so she did, but that winning picture had been on Santana's phone ever since._

_End of flashback_

Santana smiled as the scene played in her head, she honestly couldn't believe Rachel didn't like that body, who wouldn't like _that_ body. Maybe she got dressed in the dark but whatever was the reason it was obvious the day Santana told her she was beautiful was the very same day Rachel Berry began to get more confident with herself and her body.

San looked down at the picture as she felt that tingling sensation act up again, her fingers began to gently run back and forth over her already hard clit as she studied Rachel in her tight pink bikini, she really did look gorgeous and it was doing wonders for Santana who was now on the edge of coming.

"God Rach" she murmurs as she hits the height of pleasure, shuddering and stiffening in place. "Fuck" she gasped once the waves of pleasure had left her body and nothing but guilt was left. She took her hand away and looked down at her wet fingers, realising this represented her guilt. She got another text and knew immediately it was from Brittany, she didn't open it, because she knew what it was already and she no longer needed it. It was the money shot, Britt with her fingers inside herself, thinking only of Santana and Santana's pleasure. San texted Britt back after cleaning up, though her message was only simple.

_To Britt_

_Sorry babe, gotta go to class, but call you later? Xxx_

It didn't take long for the unaware blond to reply

_From Britt_

_Ok, love you xxx :)_

Santana _didn't_ text back, she always texted back, even if the message was merely just a kiss

She made her way off to the library to study and get her mind off of things, knowing full well she wasn't in the right mood to go back to class; she just needed to be alone for now

Rachel was on her way to her own class, _'just kiss me'_ her words from the other day still ran through her mind as fresh as when she muttered them. She _asked_ Santana to do that, she could have stopped it from happening but she didn't, why not? Santana may have said she just 'needed' her but it was clear she also needed Santana that day. And she couldn't even begin to deny the fiery heat that rushed through her body when San answered her wish and pressed her soft plump lips against her own.

She just couldn't stop thinking about the Latina; everything about the girl excited her and made her body tingle in a good way. She thought about the way San made her feel that day not just physically but emotionally too, and the pleasure she gave her when her mouth was doing the most amazing things as she went down on her, the biggest memory for Rachel though was just how much she liked it because she had finally felt that someone cared about her and not just themselves. With Finn he didn't really give Rachel a chance to_ feel_ anything, yeah she loved him and still felt deep feelings for him but she couldn't really remember a time Finn had put in the energy to make her feel as good as Santana could. It was like she was needed for something and it filled that emotional hole that had become so problematic in her life recently.

Later that day:

Santana had finally come home from college, she remembered to get Rachel's much needed milk and before she even threw her bag down she went to the fridge to put it in. She knew Rachel wouldn't be getting home for another couple of hours due to her late dance class on a Monday and so she decided to just relax in her room and catch up with some of her reading. Yes Santana liked _reading_, a hobby Rachel was rather surprised to find out about when they moved in together, and that wasn't the only thing, she was more surprised about what Santana liked to read, it wasn't at all what she expected. Santana Lopez liked to read comic books. So Santana lay on her bed with a comic book from the latest in her 'to read' pile and began to read through it.

Two hours later and several comic books through Rachel finally entered the apartment, she had been doing a lot of thinking at her own classes and she just wanted some answers, she was officially tired of games and needed to know where she stood with Santana. She dumped her bag down much like Santana would do and headed towards the Latina's bedroom. Ignoring the fact the door was shut Rachel burst right in without a care in the world about the girl's privacy.

"Rachel what the hell?" Santana asked surprised by the girl's abruptness

"That's it Santana I want some answers and I want them now" Rachel replied in her very diva like manner

"Answers about what?" Santana said still a little confused

"Don't play stupid, you always know what I'm talking about" Rachel frowned at her as she snatched the girl's comic book away to get her full attention

Santana sprang up to a sitting position "Hey I was reading that!" she protested

"Yes and you can continue reading it just as soon as we talk and get this all out in the open" Rachel reasoned

"Fine what do you want to talk about?" Santana sat on the edge of her bed as Rachel sat down beside her

"I've been thinking a lot about us today and what we did. I even messed up a dance move in class because I could not stop thinking about how amazing you felt when we were together and I want an answer now, are we just fuck buddies or is there something more to this San?" Rachel asked, her tone a mix between desperation and frustration

Santana was a little surprised again, she never expected Rachel to use such a term but she still manages to lie "It's just sex Rachel, the sex is all I want right now, I love Brittany and I don't want to fuck up with her, but I can't bare being so far away from her and you're here so it's easy. I hate what I'm doing but I just _can't_ help it, I _need_ something physical and I can't be physical with her when she's in Lima and I'm here" Santana explained

Rachel could tell Santana was a little unsure of her answer but it didn't stop her from also lying back to the Latina "That's ok, I agree, it's just sex" Rachel nods, knowing that her heart may be asking for more but right now it doesn't look like it's gonna get what it wants

"So what happens now, are we gonna keep doing it or what?" Santana asked almost shyly

"It's up to you really, I mean you're the one with the girlfriend after all" Rachel said

"If we do we have to keep it quiet, I'm still very much in love with Britt and I'm not gonna break up with her" Santana states and its hard to know whether she's trying to convince Rachel or herself

"Whatever you want" Rachel smiles

"I want to keep doing this" Santana admitted with a single nod

"Then we don't have to stop" Rach said before placing one hand behind San's head and pulling her in for a kiss, a kiss that quickly turned heated. This time it was Rachel that moved things along, she let her other hand wander down to Santana's belt and she began to yank on it but she didn't get far before San's hand stopped hers, but not for a bad reason

"Here, let me. It gets stuck sometimes, it's a nightmare when you're dying for a piss" San laughed and Rachel giggled and watched as Santana undid her own belt. Once it was done Rachel got in front of the girl on the floor and went for the button on the girl's pants which seemed to be much easier to get open. Rachel looked up at Santana seductively as she gestured for the girl to lift her hips, when she did Rachel dragged her pants all the way down her legs until they were around her ankles, then she went back and did the same for her underwear. Rachel noticed a sizable wet patch at the crotch of them and smirked "Aww did somebody get a little too excited?" Rachel toyed

"You have no idea" Santana groaned looking down at the other brunette knowing that not only was this the first time Rachel was going to go down on her but it would be the first time anyone other than Brittany would taste her in this way. Even when she used to 'date' boys when she was 'straight' not one of them ever ate her out.

"You smell really good" Rachel commented with a childlike smile as she dipped her head in closer to Santana's awaiting sex, she was already so wet she didn't even need a warm up. Santana shuffled nearer to the edge of the bed, her abs tensing with the feel of Rachel's breath and her hands all over her skin. "Now it's _my_ turn to make _you_ feel really good" Rachel smiled before going in all the way, Santana's head fell backwards and her fingers tangled instantly in Rachel's soft hair.

Rachel's tongue ran over her hardening clit causing her hips to buck in the diva's face, Rachel's hand landed on her abs and tried to keep her still "Oh fucking hell Rachel" Santana moaned as her clit was being flicked furiously by the girl's wet warm tongue. Her other hand running up and down Santana's thigh. Rachel was surprised by how much she was enjoying this, she had never really thought about orally satisfying a girl before, hell she didn't even like thinking about doing it to a guy but here she was on her knees in front of Santana and it was one of the most exciting things she had ever done.

"You taste amazing" Rachel commented before going straight back to licking Santana's clit

"Rachel suck on it please" Santana directed, she had become used to Brittany doing the things she knew she liked without being guided but Rachel was new to this so she had to teach the girl about the things she liked and didn't like just like she would have to learn about Rachel's likes and dislikes too (not that Rachel wasn't already vocal enough about them)

Rachel did as she was told and wrapped her warm lips around Santana's bundle of nerves and began sucking on it, she had picked up one or two moves from Santana when she had done the same thing to her. Santana spread her legs a bit more to give Rachel more room and she could feel Rachel's nails digging into her skin, Santana had to admit for someone who hadn't done this in the past Rachel was a pretty fast learner. Rachel continued sucking while her tongue flicked the tip of San's nub. "Oh my god Rachel, you're so good, faster please" San begged gripping tighter to Rachel and the bed sheets behind her. Rachel once again obeyed knowing Santana must have been close from the way she was reacting.

"So close Rach. Shit I'm gonna come" San warned and she felt Rachel smirk against her as she gave her last few licks to send Santana over the edge "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm coming Rach, but don't stop, not yet, keep going" Santana said desperately as her hips bucked harder as she practically rode Rachel's face for every last wave of pleasure while Rachel's tongue tried to keep up "Oh yes Rachel, just a little more" Santana groaned out as Rachel milked the girl's orgasm to the very end.

Once she had finally finished coming Santana exhaustedly nudged Rachel away who was currently lapping up all her delicious wetness. "You can stop now Rach" Santana panted and Rachel pulled back wiping at her very wet chin and lips.

"I've never done that before" she said with a small excited giggle

"Could have fooled me" San smiled back then looked down at herself before pulling up her pants once more

"Well I'm pretty good at most things so I don't see why I shouldn't exceed with sexual acts too"

"Do you want me to…?" Santana started but Rachel didn't let her finish

"No its ok, I'm actually hungry for some real food now or at least something a little more substantial, so I'm gonna go whip something up, I hope you brought milk"

"In the fridge" Santana nodded, still high on pleasure and completely shattered

"Ok well you can go back to reading your comic now" Rachel stood up and began to head towards the bedroom door

"Hey Rach" Santana stopped the diva in her tracks "Was I really so good you actually fucked up a dance move?" she asked trying not to sound too smug, but clearly failing

"This is not about your ego Santana Lopez" Rach said before throwing a wink to the girl as she left the room

**A/N: **** So hopefully that was a bit of a sexier ending than the last chapter had, let me know your thoughts, are you guys looking forward to more?**

**Please Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 5

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Brittana (Santana/ Brittany)

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ** **OMG got so many great reviews for the last chapter, thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourite and alerted the story, you guys are fantastic. Ok so time for Britt and Kurt to make their first real appearance like promised. Now this will be awkward, will Brittany find out the truth yet or will they continue to hide this from her? Btw this chapter is set a week after the last**

It had been a week since Santana told Rachel she wanted a sexual relationship, and Rachel happily agreed or at least she pretended she was happy about it. Of course she was happy about the physical side with Santana, who wouldn't be right? But she wanted more, she was just afraid to say it and she was afraid to do anything that could lead to hurting Brittany. She liked Brittany and considered her a true friend, she couldn't just hurt her like that. But she couldn't resist Santana and the way the Latina made her feel, in a way that no one else had ever, not even Finn.

So it had been a full week since then, since Santana also said she wanted sex but wouldn't break up with Brittany because she loved her. Rachel knew Santana was confused about her feelings and if she was honest so was she; she had never really liked a girl in this way before. Sure she thought Santana was hot and she found the female form to be more sexy than the male there was no doubt about that but other than perhaps a few girl crushes back in high school she had never really had a attraction as such to a girl in this way till she moved in with the Latina that currently seemed to have a hold of her heart and wouldn't let go.

Brittany and Kurt were both going to be visiting this week, in fact they had made plans together, Kurt had purchased tickets that matched Brittany's so they could both make the trip with each other and they wouldn't have to go alone. Santana was rather happy about that as she didn't like the thought of Brittany traveling alone, it's not that she thought she would get lost, it's just she didn't like the thought of Brittany being lonely whatsoever and with Kurt by her side she knew that wouldn't happen.

Since making the deal Santana and Rachel had filled each other's urges a few times, though they still tried not to do it too much because there was still that little thing called guilt, but they now knew they could get it on without being so defensive over it. They hadn't done it for a few days and Santana was trying to hold off on any sexual interaction with Rachel knowing that her girlfriend would be in New York very soon, she wanted to make sure she was as horny as Brittany would be so their time together would be all the better.

Currently Rachel was in the shower, it was her last day of class before she had time off, and she was thankful for that, she still had a mandatory dance class one day during the week that Cassandra set up for all the students she deemed needed it which was unsurprisingly every student in her class, but other than that one day the rest she could relax with her boy Kurt and just chill out. She was standing under the warm spray of water as it cascaded down her naked back, she thought about everything that had happened between her and Santana and how they had had sex several times since the first time. Her mind was a little messed up with it all but she didn't want to stop, she just couldn't.

She signed to herself and hummed gentle as she caressed her breasts the way Santana would, the Latina seemed so gentle and careful with her body, it almost surprised her at first, she imagined Santana would be a little rougher but she didn't mind either way. Rachel closed her eyes as she enjoyed the sensation, picking up the soap she began to wash her body, becoming more and more turned on from her actions entangled with her thoughts. She felt that familiar tingle starting up between her legs and despite the fact she was in the shower she knew she was getting wet too.

Rachel thought about just slipping her hand down just that bit further and cure her throb but she was interrupted by a obnoxious banging at the bathroom door. She turned the water down a little so she could hear better, a loud voice shouted at her through the wall.

"Jesus Christ Berry, hurry the fuck up I gots to gets to class, and I can't afford to be late again. I need to shower and you're gonna use all the hot water!" Santana screamed

Rachel grinned instantly, she kinda found angry and stressed out Santana a bit of a turn on "Just come on in" Rachel suggested, Santana had already seen her naked right? So it wasn't like it would be weird or anything.

She heard Santana groan in frustration and kick the door "No Rach, I don't have time for games, just get your fucking ass out of the bathroom. You're using all the hot water, and I have to have a shower, I stink" she confessed, wanting to avoid any situation where she would see Rachel in anything less than an animal sweater, she didn't want to get turned on and have sex with Rachel when she knew Britt would be around soon. The last time she had sex with Rachel was a few days ago and that was only because the diva decided to walk out of the bathroom with the shortest towel wrapped around her tiny body and _nothing else. _Santana curse her high sex drive and followed the brunette into her bedroom and didn't leave for at least an hour after.

Rachel just smirked to herself "Well then quit arguing and _come_ on in" Rachel said, emphasising on the word 'come' for obvious reasons

Santana groaned yet again and slumped her shoulders in defeat "I'm so gonna regret this" she admitted and then put her hand on the door knob and opened the door to the bathroom. She walked in hesitantly and was instantly hit by the immense heat coming from the shower. She could see Rachel's silhouette behind the shower door, obviously naked, Santana couldn't help the twitch she felt in her lower regions as she bit down on her bottom lip. Rachel made a point to tease Santana knowing she was on the other side of the shower so she continued to wash her own body, from her soft breasts to her smooth flat stomach down to her wet begging sex.

Santana stood still for a minute or maybe two, she wasn't too sure, just watching Rachel through the steamed up shower door. She didn't even realise her mouth was open and a little bit of drool was actually slipping down her chin. "Oh crap" she cursed herself for walking right into this trap but now she was in it she really didn't want to leave, but then she remembered something. She still needed to shower and she needed to get to class and Rachel being sexy right in front of her was so stopping her from doing that.

Santana shook her head and quickly wiped her mouth off, trying not to be embarrassed by the lack of control, after all it wasn't her fault it was Rachel's, wasn't it? "Ok Rachel, that's enough now. I need to take a shower too" she demanded getting a little angrier Rachel was forcing her to be later and later

Rachel didn't respond right away and Santana was about to shout at her again until the diva opened the shower door and poked her head out, Santana tried to be respectful until she realised nothing was on show so she didn't have to. Suddenly Rachel snaked her arm out and took a fist of Santana's tank top before yanking the girl in still fully clothed in her sleeping wear (which was just her plain white tank and her underwear but it still counted)

"Fuck, Rach!" Santana squealed as she was pulled under the pouring water that instantly soaked her top and underwear "What the fuck?" Santana asked as she tried to back out of the water, staring at the very naked and wet girl in front of her. Santana couldn't help her eyes exploring Rachel's body shamelessly; soapy bubbles covered the most intimate areas of her. Santana felt that twitch again and it seemed to beat around her entire body, her own nipples growing hard under her wet white shirt, which was now practically see- through now that it was soaked through.

Rachel of course noticed this and her smirk grew wider "I told you to come on in didn't I?" she teased winking at the Latina who still wasn't actually looking her in the face.

Santana was watching the bubbles slowly slide down Rachel's body, getting lower and lower and then she realised she still needed to get ready for class, _damn Rachel_. "We shouldn't Rach, I mean I'm getting soaking wet" she gestured towards her clothes but Rachel had other ideas

"Me too but it's not from the shower" Rachel grinned "Now I suggest you hurry up and take those wet things off so we can have some fun before class starts" she said suggestively, placing her hands on the hem of Santana's shirt

"Rach we really shouldn't, you know Britt will be here in a couple of days" San said stopping Rachel in her tracks, though her body was saying otherwise

Rachel leaned in closer to San's ear, whispering into it, her hot breath making Santana shiver with desire "Oh but we _so should_," she said licking her ear lobe and gently grazing her teeth over it. Santana felt her arousal shoot through her body once more and she seriously thought she was about to come there and then. Rachel placed her hand just above Santana's underwear before pushing it in and instantly cupping her sex which was more than asking for it "And apparently you really want it too" she whispers as her fingers ran teasingly slowly back and forth on her slit, deliberately not applying too much pressure as she felt Santana's wetness begin to coat her fingertips.

Rachel pulled her hand back out causing Santana to groan out at the loss of much needed contact, and then she took the edge of the girl's shirt once more and tugged it up, getting no resistance from the now turned on Latina. She managed to get it over Santana's head and then toss it to the side where it was dry. Santana still had her eyes trained on Rachel's breasts and as if Rachel was reading her mind she took Santana's hands and placed them on her own breasts. Santana shivered again as she squeezed Rachel's boobs, her hard nipples poking her palms. "I love your boobs" Santana said without realising it

Rachel just giggled at how easily Santana could be controlled when boobs were involved and replied "Yours aren't so bad either"

Santana's eyes wandered further down to Rachel's body, her slightly tanned stomach catching her attention again before she saw Rachel's pussy, god how Santana loved Rachel's pussy, of course she loved Brittany's too but Rachel was so small and so her features were also small. She had a small pussy which meant it was cute and though Santana wouldn't often use the words cute especially during sex she really thought Rachel's sex was as cute as a little kitten, excuse the pun. She had a pretty small clit too in fact sometimes she even had trouble locating it when Rachel was so wet but damn it sure was sensitive.

Santana continued to stare at that fucking pussy until she just couldn't take it any longer, she needed it she needed Rachel now. With her own sex throbbing like mad and her hands squeezing Rachel's soft hot wet perky tits there was only one way to go "Oh my god Rachel, fuck you" she whined before yanking her own underwear off then pinning Rachel to the wall and attacking her neck with her lips.

Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana's neck and released a moan of pleasure as they made full skin to skin contact. Santana used her Cheerios strength to hoist the smaller girl up the wall till she wrapped her legs around the Latina's waist. Another moan escaped Rachel's lips as she felt Santana's hand brush her sex, her lips still sucking on Rachel's neck like an animal. She knew she would most likely be left with a mark but right now she really didn't care. And she especially didn't care as two of Santana's fingers quickly entered her entrance and began to roughly pump in and out. "Oh my god Santana, yes fuck!" Rachel gasped, her head falling back and her mouth hanging open.

Santana kissed down Rachel's chest once she was done suckling on her neck, the water poured down on top of them but all it did was make the pair hotter and much wetter. Santana groaned into Rachel's breasts before taking her left nipple into her mouth and flicking it with her tongue. She kept fucking Rachel's tight sex with her two fingers and grazing her teeth over her erect nipple. "San, go faster, you feel so good" Rach begged and Santana smirked against her skin and did just that, picking up her pace, using her palm to brush Rachel's clit with each thrust of her hand.

"God Rachel, I love fucking you" Santana admitted in a husk, looking up at Rachel who still had her eyes tightly shut and her wet hair was now stuck all over her face, feeling like she was in heaven.

Both girls knew after all the teasing and build up Rachel probably wouldn't last too long and despite the fact they were currently having possibly the best fuck they had experienced together, Rachel would still diva out if this made her late for class.

Rachel's fingers tangled in Santana's wet hair, pulling lightly on it, her other hand was holding tightly on San's shoulder, her nails digging in. Santana brought her thumb up to circle Rachel's clit, Rachel was beginning to shudder in her arms and the Latina knew it was only a matter of flicks until she sent the girl over the edge.

"Hmm San, so close" Rachel whimpered and Santana took this opportunity to add an extra finger, she didn't often use three fingers but Rachel was so wet right now (the shower only helping in that department) that she knew Rachel could take it. "Oh yes!" Rachel screamed and bucked into Santana's hand, Santana tried to her best to keep the smaller girl supported and not drop her on her ass, her arms beginning to ache but her mind was set on hearing Rachel scream her name

"Come for me Rach, let it all go" she ordered already feeling Rachel's pussy clenching lightly around her fingers as they thrust in and out, her thumb still flicking the girl's bundle of nerves furiously.

"Oh yes Santana!" Rachel sung as her orgasm rushed through her entire body, she lowered her head and buried it into Santana's shoulder, absentmindedly sinking her teeth into the soft skin and bit down hard.

"Uh fuck Rachel" Santana groaned actually kinda liking the pain that shot through her as Rachel clenched tightly around her fingers. Rachel kept coming for several long seconds until she came to a stop, her body instantly feeling boneless, attempting to stay wrapped around Santana's own.

Santana waited until Rachel was completely spent before slipping her digits out of her warmth, both groaning at the loss of contact. Rachel was breathing heavily as Santana looked down at the wetness coating her hand as the shower water started to wash it away, she had never made Rachel come that hard or that much and she couldn't be prouder. "God Santana that was so good" the brunette panted, her face flushed red.

"Yeah it was" San grinned as she helped Rachel back down to her feet, holding her up on shaky legs "You ok?" Santana asked

"Yeah just a little hot" Rachel replied, trying to cool herself off with her hand, waving it franticly at her face. "But I'm definitely not gonna complain about that" she giggled a little before leaning up and kissing Santana on the lips. The kiss surprised Santana at first, it wasn't often they just kissed like that when they weren't having sex at the same time, but she quickly got into it and kissed Rachel back.

Her hands found Rachel's ass and squeezed at the soft buns forcing a moan from Rachel's mouth into her own, she used that as her chance to slip her tongue into the diva's mouth. Rachel ran her hands up Santana's arm, Santana felt the pain in her shoulder as soon as Rachel's hand touched the mark where she had bitten, the Latina pulled back wincing "Ouch, that hurts" she said as she looked at the growing bruise, luckily for Santana there were no obvious teeth marks but it sure was going to be a bitch to explain that to Brittany if she saw it

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry San, I didn't know I was biting that hard" Rachel said regretfully, running her fingers over it lightly

Santana just shook her head "No, no don't worry about it Rach, it will heal up. Besides it just means that I made to come super hard" San smirked

"Oh that was definitely true" Rachel smiled back

"Anyway I think I got you back" Santana grinned proudly as she touched the bite mark on Rachel's neck, it wasn't as obvious as Santana's marking but it sure was there

"Is it bad?" Rachel asked, brushing her fingers over the area

"Not really, it should be completely gone in a few days" the Latina assured "Now can I please have some time alone to have a proper shower?" Santana asked nicely

"Course, thank you" Rachel said and gave the Latina a kiss on the cheek before exiting the shower and closing the door behind her, going straight over to the mirror to look at her trophy her neck sported.

Santana looked over at her wet clothes in the corner of the shower then back at her bite mark, "Fucking libido" she cursed realising she hadn't even come. Then she turned the water from hot to cold and finally showered.

A couple of days later:

Kurt and Brittany were on the train, on the way to visit their friends in New York, finally school was out and they were on the break they deserved. Britt couldn't be more excited to finally be seeing her girlfriend. Santana had her last day of college for the holidays yesterday and Brittany knew she and the Latina were gonna be spending a lot of intimate quality time in the girl's room, most specifically in the girl's bed. The thought alone made Britt make the quietest of grunting noises, but despite the low volume and the train noise Kurt seemed to still hear it.

"You alright Britt?" he asked watching the blond bounce in her seat

"Yeah I'm good, I just can't wait to see Sanny" she said with a beaming smile on her face

"Yeah even I miss Satan" Kurt joked remembering the conversation he had had on the phone with Rachel over her actions with the Latina.

"I can't wait to see Rachie too" Britt admitted

"Yeah it's been a while for sure" Kurt said

Kurt was trying hard not to judge his friends and not say anything that may slip out and give away anything to Brittany, he loved Brittany, in fact they were actually really good friends and had become so close since Santana moved away. They often had sleepovers with some of the other glee girls and went to movies together; he appreciated the company when Blaine was busy so he definitely didn't want to see Brittany get hurt or lose her as a friend. But Rachel and even Santana were his friends too and he didn't want to betray their trust by telling her anything he shouldn't. Besides it really wasn't any of his business was it? This was Rachel's and Santana's problem and not his; he didn't have the right to interfere with all this even if he lived for gossip.

"So I suppose you and Santana won't be seen once you get there, you'll be too busy christening her bedroom" Kurt suggested, feeling a little awkward but he needed some sort of conversation, this train ride was boring

"Yeah totally, I've really missed Santana and little Santana too" Britt admitted

Kurt was silent for a second "Little Santana?" he wondered

"Yep it's her cli-"

Kurt quickly cut Brittany off "Yeah I figured. God forget I ever asked" he said waving the images away in his head

"So are you like allergic to girl parts or something Kurt? I mean I know Santana hates boy parts but what about you?" Britt asked curiously

Kurt smiled at Brittany's interest "No I'm not allergic. 'Girl parts' just make me uncomfortable that's all" he shrugged not really knowing how else to answer Brittany's question, he knew what she meant but it was just hard to explain why him being gay made him feel uncomfortable over the female anatomy

"I get it, Santana hates it when I talk about that type of thing" Britt nodded

"You really love her don't you Britt?" Kurt asked sweetly, smiling at how Brittany's face lit up with the simple mention of her girlfriend.

"More than anything ever"

And the rest of the train ride was spent talking about the oddest of things with the occasional mention of something more normal

"Rachel come on, Britt and Kurt will be here any minute!" Santana shouted frustrated that Rachel was taking so damn long to get ready; they had both spent the entire morning cleaning the apartment and making sure everything was perfect for the pair's arrival.

Rachel came rushing out of her bedroom, almost stumbling over her own feet; Santana had to steady her before she continued her stride into the living room area. "Did you make sure that there was a spare pillow for Kurt?" Rachel asked, looking around the apartment

"Yes, I got like five so he has a choice of thread count and frilliness" Santana said mockingly. Kurt was going to be sleeping on the couch while Brittany would obviously be sleeping in Santana's bed.

Though Santana tried to play the tough chick role she was worried about Brittany finding out about her and Rachel's encounters, she felt guilty over them but tried to pretend they were nothing but weakness on her behalf and now that she was finally gonna see Brittany again she could get what she really wanted and she wouldn't need to have Rachel physically again, or at least that's what she hoped would be the case. Santana was good at hiding her feelings, and that's exactly what she was gonna do the whole week and a bit that Brittany was staying with them.

"Ok so what time did they say they were getting here?" Rachel asked looking up at Santana

"I think Kurt said 3" the Latina informed

"Well then they're late aren't they?" Rachel said with a frown as she looked down at her watch that read '15:06'

"Rachel relax ok I'm sure Brittany just dragged Kurt off to get a slushie or a snow cone, you know what she's like" Santana said with a giggle, imagining the scene in her head

"What if they're lost? What if they've been mugged or kidnapped?"

Santana sighed before grabbing Rachel by the shoulders forcing the diva to look into her eyes "Listen Rach, they are not lost, they haven't been mugged, and they definitely haven't been kidnapped. They are standing in line for some overly priced fast food or disgusting snack that could probably kill you if you ate the whole thing, ok I assure you, now just calm down they will be here soon" Santana smiled

"You know we haven't even talked about it" Rachel mentioned, forcing Santana to sigh, _oh great more talking_ Santana thought

"What is it this time Rach?"

"Well I mean Brittany is gonna be here any second and after what we did the other morning I can't help but feel a little guilty over it, I mean I know it's not the first time but what if she figures it out?" Rachel said in genuine panic

"She won't, we're not gonna tell her, there's no need to hurt her like that. I'm with Brittany, she is my girlfriend, the love of my life, I told you it doesn't matter what happens between us I'm not breaking up with her" Santana said not so sure of her answer herself

"So what happens when she leaves, do we just go back to being roommates or…" Rachel began but Santana soon cut her off

"I don't know, ok, like I said I like being with you Rachel, I just don't know, but for now, you and I are on a break until Brittany leaves. I'm not gonna risk hurting her like that, I don't think I could take it if I broke her heart" the Latina replied sadly

"Ok so we'll just put whatever this is with us on pause for the time being" Rachel agreed, knowing it would do nothing for the guilt she would instantly feel when she saw the excited blond and Kurt.

"It's for the best" Santana nodded. "Come here" she gestured for Rachel to come closer and as the smaller girl hesitantly stepped towards her Santana wrapped her in a tight hug and even gave her a kiss on the head "I don't want you to think I don't care about you Rachel, because I do. I'm just so confused right now and I need some time" she said softly

Rachel pulled back from the hug with a small smile on her face "I care about you too Santana and I don't want to rush you into anything"

The pair stared into each other's eyes both smiling until they were soon interrupted by a knock at their door "They're here" Rachel announced, breaking the contact between the two girls and running to the door. Santana followed her and reached the door just as Rachel yanked it open to reveal Kurt looking a little relieved to be there and Brittany smiling widely.

"Sorry we would have been here sooner but Britt had to get some New York tacos from a corner cart" Kurt informed walking into the apartment and Santana smirked as her eyes went from the blond stuffing her face with said taco, down to Rachel who rolled her eyes knowing Santana was right all along.

"Sanny!" Britt squealed as she followed the boy inside and Rachel shut the door behind them instantly hugging Kurt while Santana hugged Britt trying her best not to get taco sauce on her shoulder, Britt didn't have the same concerns as she leaned in and captured the Latina's lips with her own. Though Santana got a mouthful of sauce she didn't pull back, it had been too long since she had had physical contact with her girlfriend and she needed it. When the warm familiar kiss ended Santana wiped her mouth from the sauce and smiled "It's pretty good" she chuckled before pulling the blond in for another kiss, longer this time

Rachel couldn't help but watch the two girls as they greeted each other, and if she wasn't so stubborn she may even admit she was a little jealous, ok a _lot_ jealous but she couldn't make it obvious as she too didn't want this situation to be any more awkward than it already was.

Brittany finished off her taco and used the napkin to clean her face off, she leaned in and whispered into Santana's ear "Don't worry, I'll be eating a different type of taco later on and I can't wait to have you all over my face" she giggled before pulling back to see Santana wide eyed, obviously turned on beyond belief at the simple statement.

Brittany kissed her again bringing her back down to earth "Can't wait" Santana agreed and brought the girl in for a hug "I've missed you so much Britt-Britt"

"I missed you more Sanny. I just couldn't stop thinking about you, I love you so much" Brittany hugged her tighter, so much in fact Santana couldn't reply due to the lack of oxygen to her lungs, Britt soon realised this "Oh my god I'm so sorry, I don't plan on killing you until later" she whispered with a wink and Santana couldn't help but smirk feeling that familiar tingling start up between her legs.

"So anyway hello Satan" Kurt interrupted before this situation turned into an R rated movie, plus he hadn't spoken in a while. He stepped closer and stuck his hand out for Santana to shake but the Latina rolled her eyes with a sigh and just pulled the boy into a hug, surprising everyone in the room

"Come here Rachie" Britt insisted and while hesitant Rachel had her own hug with the tall blond. When the hug ended something caught Brittany's eye "Oh my god Rachel, who have you been hooking up with?" she giggled pointing to the clear love bite on the brunette's neck.

Rachel gasped, she had totally forgotten about that, it wasn't as noticeable as when Santana had first made it but it was clearly still visible or Britt would have never of seen it, she had to come up with a lie and fast. She covered the mark on her neck in slight embarrassment "Oh that, it's nothing" she assured locking eyes with a worried Latina "It's just some guy from NYADA, no big deal" she faked laughed

Santana sighed in relief that the diva managed to think of something that Brittany would believe, while Kurt stood there eyeing the smaller girl with a raised brow, he didn't have to be a genius to figure out the marks true origin but he decided to stay quiet, this wasn't the time to mention anything.

"So is he hot?" Britt asked and now all three felt even guiltier than they had ever expected to be, Brittany actually believed Rachel. The blond looked on expectedly at Rach awaiting an answer

Rachel brought her hand down uncovering the bite, "The hottest" she said with a false smile as her eyes darted back and forth between Britt and Santana. Santana looked at the ground not really knowing what else to do.

"Well we should unpack" Kurt spoke up deciding it was up to him to break this awkward silence and for the first time Santana couldn't be more happy that Kurt had made this trip with Brittany, she silently thanked him in her head knowing if it wasn't for him this situation would be a lot more uncomfortable, if that was even possible

"Yeah come on Britt, I've emptied a drawer in my room for you" Santana said taking the blond's hand

"I did the same for you Kurt, come on this way" Rachel informed and the two pairs went their separate ways into their rooms

Santana lead Brittany into her bedroom and pulled open the drawer she had cleared for her girlfriend "Here we go, you can put your stuff in this one" the Latina offered and Britt set her surprisingly small suitcase down ready to unpack while Santana made her way over to her bed and sat down on it, she looked down at her hands and played with her fingernails while Brittany began to unpack. A few minutes of awkward silence later Brittany started to feel like there was something not quite right with her girl.

She stood up and put the last of her things into the drawer and closed it back up again, she went over to the bed and sat down next to the Latina who was still playing with her hands, Britt placed her hands on top of Santana's to still her movements "What's wrong San?" she asked softly

Santana turned her head to look at the blond, she had tears in her eyes but was fighting to keep them from falling "I just missed you so much, I hate not having you here I feel lost without you" she admitted and the first tear rolled down her cheek

Britt smiled, it wasn't often she got to see her girlfriend so vulnerable but when she did it was one of the sweetest things ever (even if Santana was crying because she was sad) she wiped the tear away with her thumb before replying "I missed you too baby, you know I do, and remember as soon as I finish McKinley I'm gonna move straight here and we never have to be apart again" Brittany assured her only causing more tears to flow from the other girl, mostly from guilt.

"I know, but I still miss you" Santana said in the most heart-breaking of ways. Britt wrapped her long arms around the shorter girl and just held her tightly figuring it was what she needed

Meanwhile in Rachel's room Kurt had two pretty large suitcases with him, he was trying to work out the best way to fit all his hair products and skin care lotions on Rachel's dresser, but something else was on his mind and he decided now was the time to voice it. He walked over to the bedroom door and closed it making sure to lock it behind him

"What are you doing?" Rachel wondered from her bed

"Santana did it, didn't she?" he said nodding towards the mark on her neck. Rachel instantly covered it up again with her hand and Kurt knew he was right "I thought you said you were gonna be careful with all this, biting chunks out of each other isn't exactly the most careful way of going about it. I mean Jesus Rachel what the hell is happening with you two, are you dating or what?" he said worried for his friend if this whole situation backfired

"No we're not dating Kurt. We just kind of have an agreement. I mean it's just sex and that's all it is but it's confusing" Rachel admitted

"No kidding. You do know Brittany _her girlfriend_ is right in the other room right?" he said almost angrily

"Yes I know that"

"So what are you like in love with her or something?" he wondered, not that he didn't already know the answer

"I like her ok, I want more than just sex with her but right now I can't have that, I have to give her time to figure herself out"

"I don't want to see Brittany get hurt and I don't want you getting hurt either, and it's not fair that I know this secret and I have to keep it from Britt" he said

"Kurt you can't tell her, please" Rachel pleaded

"Of course I'm not gonna tell her, and I know this isn't really any of my business but I like all three of you and I don't want to be picking sides and I don't want anyone's heart getting broken, which is inevitably gonna happen eventually"

"Honestly I don't really know what's going on with us either, all I know is I really, really like Santana, I haven't felt like this since…well since Finn. I don't want anyone getting hurt either but Kurt, I think I might be in love with her" Rachel finally confessed

"Oh god, why do lesbians have to have the worst drama" he smiled at her hoping to lighten the mood "Just promise me you'll keep one eye open when it comes to Santana, you know how she is" he said softly

"I know, and I promise" Rachel smiled before hugging her gay best friend

"So you wanna see if there are any musicals on TV?" Kurt asked knowing his idea would instantly cheer up the diva and hopefully get their minds off of this love triangle, if it even was a triangle

"Race you to the TV" Rachel laughed and jolted past the boy

An hour later the four friends were sat on the couch watching 'Rent' which Kurt managed to find on one of the channels Santana usually stayed far away from. Kurt and Rachel sat on one end of the couch, snuggling up to each other while Britt and San took the other end of the couch, Santana held Britt as Brittany rested her blond head on Santana's chest. Santana was running her fingers up and down Brittany's arm, she would much rather be in their bedroom running her fingers up and down another area of the blond's body but as soon as Brittany found out 'Rent' was on she instated on watching it, she had always loved to sing along to 'La Vie Bohème' especially the dildo line, it was her favourite from the musical and always made her laugh.

Santana sat there bored out of her skull, while the other three watched on and sang along to pretty much every song. "Tell me why are we watching this crap again?" Santana asked

"Because it's so awesome baby, and there's a lesbian couple like us" Brittany pointed out excitedly

"But it's so boring, there's not even any hot chicks, well other than Idina Menzel that is" Santana commented

"What about Angel? I think she's kinda cute" Britt smiled

"Britt that's a drag queen, it's totally a guy under that skirt" Santana corrected

"He's still cute" Britt insisted and Santana just rolled her eyes

"Come on Satan, it's almost finished just put up with it for a little while longer and me and Rach will be out of your hair, right Rach?" Kurt asked

"Um…yeah sure" Rachel agreed not looking over at the other girls, trying to keep this as normal as possible

"Wait where are you guys going?" Santana wondered, unable to hide her excitement

"I'm gonna take Rachel out to dinner tonight, so you and Brittany can have some alone time and me and Rach can have a girly catch up" Kurt said patting Rachel on the knee

"Yeah that's not gay at all" Santana mocked, but was pretty happy about having the apartment to herself, that would hopefully make the time with Brittany a little less awkward if Rachel wasn't around to most likely hear them going at it.

Once the credits started to roll on the TV screen it was more than obvious Brittany had become rather horny from the prospect of having the apartment to themselves for a couple of hours as she started to kiss Santana's neck, not really caring that Kurt and Rachel were still in the room.

"Well I think this is our signal to leave" Kurt joked getting up and turning the TV off, he looked at Rachel expectantly but Rachel's eyes were trained on the two girls "Rach?" Kurt spoke only to be ignored as Rachel's eyes didn't leave the couple. "Rachel, come on, before I see something I'll be haunted with for the rest of my life" again Rachel didn't seem to hear the boy.

Santana stroked Brittany's hair enjoying the feeling of her lips on her skin, until she noticed Rachel wasn't moving and was strangely watching them, she decided to halt Brittany's actions "Britt stop a sec" she insisted

"What's wrong?" Britt asked a little confused

"Nothing it's just I'm sure Rachel and Kurt don't wanna see us getting it on. We should probably at least wait until they leave right?" she laughed pushing Brittany off of her body gently

The blond looked over at their friends "Oh right, sorry" she said suggesting she completely forget they were there to begin with. She climbed off her girlfriend and stood up.

Kurt made his way into the kitchen leaving the three girls alone, Rachel and Santana avoided eye contact and let the awkward silence take over once more, "I'm gonna go talk to Kurt" Santana said not really wanting to talk to anyone right now but it beat being in the same room alone with her girlfriend and the girl she was cheating on said girlfriend with.

She got up off the couch and made her way into the kitchen to see Kurt checking his hair in the reflection of a spoon "It looks fine" Santana assured

"I was just checking, never be too careful" he said placing the spoon back down near the sink

"Hey thanks for offering to take Rachel out tonight, me and Britt could use the alone time" she smiled realising she didn't often say thank you to anyone let alone 'ladylips'

"Well that's because I'm a good friend and I don't want this to be any more awkward than it already is, so I figure the further away Rachel is from you and Britt getting it on in the living room the better. I really hope you know what you're doing Satan" he said

Santana locked eyes with the boy "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, realising the way he spoke would suggest he knew what was going on between her and Rachel

"Nothing, I'm gonna go wash up" he said and quickly made a break for the bathroom away from the Latina's death stare

Santana instantly panicked, if Kurt knew that could have meant Britt could know, what if she already did, no she would have said something about it by now, she would have slapped her for sure. Santana jumped when she heard a noise from behind her, she spun around to be greeted by Rachel and her slightly sad features. "Hey how's it going?" she asked the Latina nervously

"You told him didn't you?" San asked angrily

"What?" Rach asked a little confused by what she was talking about

"You told him what happened, Jesus Rach you said you wouldn't tell anyone, you promised" Santana said angrily but tried to keep her voice down knowing Brittany was just in the other room, and had pretty extraordinary hearing

Rachel instantly grew defensive "I had to tell someone, I needed to talk to someone about it, I'm sorry" she replied regretfully

"Rachel you know Ladylips is like the most gossipy person we know, he can't keep a secret. What if he says something, I can't believe you told him!" she complained

"Told him what?" a new voice entered the conversation, but not unfamiliar, both girls turned to the kitchen door to see Brittany standing there with wonder on her face

Santana locked eyes with her girlfriend before looking over at Rachel "Um…just…uh-"

"-I told Kurt that Santana said she missed him" Rachel quickly lied fake smiling once more

"Yeah that's right, and you know how much I hate people knowing how I'm feeling, it's just so gay" Santana laughed hoping her girlfriend would buy yet another lie

Britt smiled sweetly and stepped towards Santana with a smile on her face, "See I told you, you can be so sweet sometimes. That's why I'm so in love with you" she snaked her arms around the Latina's neck and leaned in for a kiss while Santana held onto the blond's hips and kissed back. By the time the kiss was over and Santana opened her eyes again, Rachel was no longer in the room.

"Ok so we're gonna go and let you two…uh oh my-" Kurt said sticking his head around the door to see the girls pressed against one another already

"Bye Kurt" Britt said waving him away and kissing Santana until they both heard the front door close behind their friends "So the couch or your bed?" Britt asked suggestively, looking into her girlfriend's eyes

"For what?" Santana breathlessly asked, a little confused

"Santana, we haven't had sex in like decades now pick a location so we can end that already" Britt answered giggling; usually she couldn't keep the Latina off of her. Britt leaned in again to kiss Santana before pulling back for the girl's answer

"I don't think it would be fair to Kurt to fuck on his makeshift bed, besides my mattress is much more comfy" Santana smirked with a wink "Race you" she exclaimed pushing Britt away gently and running away off to her room

"That's cheating!" Britt called out laughing all the way as she followed her girlfriend

**A/N: **** Ok yet another chapter I'm not really happy with so I'm sorry this chapter was pretty much crap but I hope the Pezberry shower sex scene makes up for how bad it is, don't worry next chapter won't be as bad. Now we've seen a little jealous Rachel and soon we will start to see jealous Santana too, though just for the record I hate writing sad Britt and hurting her, poor Britt-Britt**

**Please review you guys and let me know what you thought **


	6. Chapter 6

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 6

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Brittana (Santana/ Brittany)

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ** **So I feel like I need to mention this, I do not condone cheating, the end result will only ever be someone getting hurt and it's not fair to do that, so even though I'm writing this story it does not mean I am attempting to glorify cheating, as you can see there is a lot of drama that comes with it and real life drama isn't always as fun as fictional drama so take my advice and don't cheat. Also some of you may hate Santana and Rachel right now and feel bad for Britt and want it to all come out, and I can tell you it will eventually and you'll see the result, but it won't be happening just yet as I enjoy teasing you all and writing this. Just for the record even if right now it may not seem like it I am trying my best to write this so you don't hate any of the characters permanently and by the end of the story it will all be sorted out and everyone will be happy…at least I hope. Sorry this is so long I just feel like I should mention it. Please don't hate Santana for what she's doing she is just confused right now; she'll work it out eventually. But until then just remember I am a Brittana shipper first (as stated by my newly update profile) they are my life and my OTP but this IS a Pezberry story so yeah.**

**There is some Brittana sexytimes in this chapter as you may have guessed and Brittana fluff too in fact quite a bit of it but also some Hummelberry friendship.**

Santana had barely entered her bedroom when she felt two long strong arms wrap around her waist and tug her back into a warm body, her lips joining with Brittany's and her own hand finding a familiar butt. Brittany smirked into the kiss as she ran her fingers through her girlfriend's hair, remembering just how much she loved doing this before Santana moved away.

They kept kissing as Brittany began to push Santana back slowly until the back of her legs hit her bed, Britt pulled out of the kiss to give another devious smirk to the Latina who seemed breathless as they looked deep into each other's eyes. "I love you Santana" Brittany whispered

"I…I love you too Brittany" Santana replied, not meaning to stutter but the growing heat between her legs was making it hard to focus on anything other than the blond in front of her.

Brittany's lips twitched back into that smile as she put her hands on Santana's chest and pushed her back, Santana landed on the bed looking up as Britt towered over her. Santana watched her girlfriend reach for the hem of her shirt and tug it over her head, revealing her sexy lacy bra underneath "You like?" Britt asked staring down at her own chest, admiring its perfection.

"Fuck yeah Britt" Santana nodded confidently, god she had missed Britt's body more than she had thought. "Get over here" she gestured to the blond

Brittany giggled a little at the lack of control Santana seemed to have when it came to boobs and dropped her shirt on the floor before climbing on top of her to re-join their lips, instantly inviting her own tongue into the Latina's mouth.

Santana didn't need any direction for the next part, she immediately let her hands wander on her girlfriend's body, one grasped to Brittany's ass through her jeans and the other slipped up to the girl's bra clasp, where she started to fiddle with it clumsily until she managed to get it open, and then slip it off Brittany's body, all without separating their lips. The bra was soon tossed behind her to be forgotten for the rest of the night.

Meanwhile Kurt and Rachel were enjoying a nice catch up chat as they made their way to the restaurant Kurt had chosen just down the street "So when was the last time you and Santana…you know?" Kurt raised a brow, knowing it wasn't really his business but it was better than talking about nothing and he always had an interest for gossip after all

"We played 'Guitar Hero'? You need to be a little more specific Kurt" Rachel replied trying to reflect

"You know what I'm talking about Rach, when did you and Satan last hook up?" Kurt said quietly, looking around them just in case they were being followed. Well it could happen.

"Kurt that is a highly inappropriate question" Rachel said not wanting to really talk about it

"So is what you're doing but it isn't stopping you, now answer the question" Kurt insisted as they waited to cross the road to get to the restaurant

Rachel sighed knowing Kurt was very persistent when he wanted something "A few days ago, in the shower" Rachel admitted as if she were ashamed of the actions that took place, even if the memory was turning her on all over again

"My god Rach, shower sex already? Blaine and I haven't even tried that yet. The thought of being all prune like during intimacy is just a no go" Kurt shuddered at the thought

"Look I didn't plan on feeling this way, it's not my fault. I just like her a lot, ok?" Rach replied defensively

"Rachel I'm not judging you for liking Santana, I mean I can get that somewhere under those scales and horns there is a sweet, caring and even kind person there. I'm just worried this is all gonna go to hell. Why doesn't she just break up with Brittany if she isn't in to her anymore" Kurt wondered as he held the restaurant door open for the girl, letting her pass first.

"Thank you, and we talked about it already, she said she won't break up with Brittany because she loves her still, and I get that I mean I was the same with Finn. I would have done anything for him, and I could never imagine myself breaking up with him, I guess he had no troubles with that department though" Rach answered a little bitterly

"She still loves Brittany yet she's screwing you, I'll never get women" Kurt shook his head as the pair took their seats

"Brittany is her first love; I guess she just needs time. If me and her are meant to be then we'll work out but if were not then it was fun while it lasted right?" Rachel asked with a shrug

"But you're in love with her" Kurt stated, it was no question, he had seen the way Rachel looked at Santana, he had seen her jealousy, and heard the way she spoke about the Latina, it wasn't a question, it was a fact

"But she doesn't need to know that" Rachel broke her eye contact with the boy and covered her face with her menu

Back at the apartment, Santana and Brittany were swept up in a heavy heated make out session, hands wandering to all locations, grapping, groping and squeezing silky smooth soft skin. Santana's lips kissing at Britt's neck like a hungry animal, loving the sensational contact between them that she had longed for, for weeks.

Brittany was still on top of Santana teasing the Latina with a thigh between her legs, but the material of their pants was beginning to get in the way and they both needed more intimate contact. Santana's hand was currently in the process of groping at one of Brittany's breasts, pinching her nipple and getting the blond worked up. They could both already feel the throb between their legs begging for urgent attention

"Oh San, I need you so bad" Brittany gasped as Santana gave a particularly hard bite to her neck and squeeze to her breast. Santana smirked into the skin and sat up leaving Brittany to pull back. "Let's get this off right now" Brittany insisted with a grin all her own as her hands found the hem of Santana's shirt and began to tug on it lightly

Santana got the picture and lifted her arms so her girlfriend could rid her of the obstructing garment of clothing. She pulled the shirt up over the smaller girl's head and tossed it to the side where it landed right next to Brittany's own shirt that was forgotten a while ago.

Brittany's hands went directly for Santana's bare breasts, her long fingers teasing the soft smooth flesh between them then she leaned in to kiss Santana's nipple "God I love it when you don't wear a bra, better access" the blond hummed into Santana's chest

Santana tangled her fingers in blond locks and held her in place as Brittany continued to suck on her flawless skin "God baby, you have no idea how wet I am for you right now" Santana said huskily, moaning as she felt Brittany's teeth scrap her hard nipple.

Brittany again smiled into Santana's skin and whimpered a little when her girlfriend's words ran through her ears, reminding her of her own damp panties. "Oh I bet I do" she giggled pulling away from Santana's chest, much to the Latina's disappointment, just before something caught the blond's eye. Brittany's blue eyes widened in worry when she noticed a particularly bad looking bruise on her girlfriend's shoulder "Oh my god baby that looks bad. How did you get that?" Britt asked with clear concern, her eyes staying wide as her fingers travelled up Santana's arm and came to a rest at her bicep.

Santana looked at Brittany confused until she followed the girl's line of sight to the mark on her shoulder, her eyes instantly going wide too but for an entirely different reason all together. She completely forgot about that, how could she not of been ready for this, Brittany had already seen Rachel's hickey and now she was seeing hers. Santana knew out of anyone Brittany wasn't stupid but she also knew Brittany trusted her and so she would have to use that trust to betray Brittany right now, she couldn't tell her and hurt her like that. She hated herself for it but she quickly came up with a lie that sounded plausible. "Um…my friend at college punched me a little too hard, she's on the softball team" Santana laughed praying to god she hadn't just broken Brittany's heart.

Santana's big brown eyes left the bruise and met with her girlfriend's crystal blue ones as they stared back at her between darting back and forth to the marking on her skin. Silence filled the room as Brittany continued to study the bite, which in Santana's defence did just look like a punch mark from an overly keen softball player, then she studied Santana's face, before breaking into a giggle mixed with a frown "No one hurts my baby. I can beat her up for you if you want, or I can at least try?" Brittany offered playfully, knowing all those after/before school cheerio practices had at least gifted her some upper body strength.

Santana chuckled along with her girlfriend and shook her head "That's unnecessary Britt, it was just an accident, honestly" she replied, darting her eyes away from Brittany's knowing she was indeed lying

"I know what it needs" Britt smiled sweetly at Santana before leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss against the damaged skin, hoping to make it better. Santana watched her girlfriend tend to her shoulder so sweetly and tenderly as her smile grew wider. "It looks painful, does it hurt?" Britt wondered

"No, not really" Santana shrugged, it had had a few days to heal and so it wasn't as painful as it once was when Rachel first did it. Santana still had to wince a little remembering the pain that shot through her body when Rachel's teeth sunk deep in her skin. "Anyway enough talking, we have some catching up to do" Santana said suggestively as she rolled Brittany on to her back and kissed her one last time before she started to tug the girl's pants off.

Brittany happily lifted her hips for Santana to undress her and before she even knew what was happening Santana had stripped herself from her own constricting jeans. Santana crawled back on top of Brittany both now clad in only their underwear. San's lips finding Britt's neck all over again, as her hand crept down the blond's long slim frame until her fingers wrapped around the material of Brittany's matching lacy panties "Take them off Sanny" Brittany ordered, now incredibly turned on

Santana smirked as she dragged them down long toned legs and dropped them off the side of the bed, her hand instantly finding its way back between her legs to her wetness, "Oh god Britt you're so fucking wet" she informed as if she didn't already know

"It's been so long, what do you expect?" Brittany teased

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard baby" Santana said pressing another kiss to the blond's lips and running her fingers up and down Brittany's sex "Gonna make you come like never before" she promised in a hushed breath against heated skin as she kissed down to Brittany's breast, latching her lips around an erect nipple.

Brittany moaned out and spread her legs, ready to take Santana. "Stop teasing baby, I need you inside me" Britt whined out

"Yeah you want my fingers inside you baby?" Santana teased more

"Fuck San, please, I'm so horny. Just take me now" she groaned needing to feel some sort of friction between them, she tried to buck her hips up in the air and her sex brushed against Santana's thigh forcing a gasp of pleasure out of her mouth

Santana laughed as Britt continuing her attempt at humping her before she moved her thigh away making it impossible for the blond to reach it. Brittany's hips fell back on the bed and she began to pout, that was until she felt Santana slip two fingers inside of her. "You mean like this baby?" Santana asked, smirk still on her face

Brittany shut her eyes and held on to the pillow behind her "Oh fuck yes Santana, rub my clit too" she groaned needing everything Santana had to offer

"Read my mind" Santana stated as her thumb came up to brush over her clit while her fingers began to move in and out of Brittany's pussy, getting faster and faster as she used her hips to hit into the back of her hand in order to guide her harder, faster and so much deeper.

"Hmm so good" the girl hummed, moving her hips in time with Santana's thrusts

"You like this Britt-Britt?"

"I love it, god just come here" Brittany insisted grabbing Santana and pulling her up till they were face to face once more, she urgently smashed their lips together. Santana, not wanting to stop, kept moving inside of her girlfriend, curling her fingers and rubbing at that spot that made Brittany tingle all over "Oh yes, oh fuck yes" Brittany chanted into the other girl's mouth, biting down gently on Santana's bottom lip and tugging it each time San gave a particularly forceful thrust into her.

Brittany was so wet the room was filled with the sounds of Santana digits entering her over and over again, her thumb staying on her stiff clit, flicking, circling and rubbing the nub with everything she was worth. "You're so sexy Britt" Santana whispered looking down at her girlfriend who still had her eyes shut in pure pleasure.

Brittany was already scratching at Santana's back and whimpering quietly, two traits Santana knew well to mean the blond was about to come, she would have been surprised as Brittany could usually hold out much longer than Santana but in this case she was forgiven, she guessed it had been a long time after all. "You close Britt?" Santana asked softly, already knowing the answer

Brittany nodded frantically as she opened her eyes to stare up at the brown ones watching her with such adoration "Yeah, Sanny I'm gonna come" she warned, feeling her climax closer than ever.

Santana flicked her thumb faster over Brittany's clit, knowing the girl liked it fast when she was this close, she looked down to see her hand covered with Brittany's excitement, her fingers buried deep between her pale long legs. She was taken by surprise when Brittany wrapped said legs around her waist and humped up into her hand over and over again, her arms also wrapping around her neck pulling Santana as close as possible knowing she was just about to come

"Oh fuck Santana, here it comes" she groaned out as her body tightened around her girlfriend's one last time before going stiff and tensing as her orgasm started. She buried her head into Santana's shoulder and her teeth buried deep into the first bit of skin they could find, which just so happened to be the same bit Rachel had chosen to bite when she came too.

Santana threw her head back in a jolt of pain that greeted her, but she kept up fucking Brittany, not wanting to stop while the girl was in the middle of an earth shattering orgasm, even if she does say so herself. "Shit, fuck Britt-Britt" Santana hissed as the air was sucked out of her when Brittany squeezed her body like a clam guards a pearl when she hit the peak of her climax, her hips bucking wildly into Santana's hand as she rode the waves of pleasure.

After several intense seconds of coming, Brittany's body finally started to relax and she released Santana from the vice-like grip she had the girl in. Brittany's teeth left Santana's shoulder as she became almost floppy under the Latina, her eyes opening to stare lovingly up at her girlfriend who still had a look of pain on her face.

It didn't take Britt long to realise what she had done and was quick to apologise "Oh my god, I'm so sorry baby, I didn't mean to do that" she said, letting her hand ghost over the now bleeding mark on Santana's shoulder, if there wasn't teeth marks on her skin before, there sure was now.

Santana began to laugh and slipped her fingers out of Brittany once the blond had finally stopped clamping around them. "It's fine babe, it's just a bite" Santana flopped down on the bed next to her girlfriend and started to clean off her fingers with her mouth, sucking on each finger individually knowing it was most likely turning Brittany on all over again.

Britt seemed hypnotised as she watched Santana's tongue lick up and down each finger that was covered with her own come. "Thought you said it didn't hurt anyway? That was quite a cry you let out" Brittany joked, leaning on one palm and looking over at Santana next to her on the bed.

"Well it doesn't when a hot sexy blond isn't biting down on it when she's getting off" Santana responded humorously as she finished licking her hand and placed it by her side, giving Brittany the bedroom eyes just before Brittany pounced forward to latch their lips together once more and climb into Santana's lap.

"Am I that hot sexy blond?" Brittany giggled

"The one and only" Santana replied looking up into blue eyes as Brittany's hands began to tease her sides, running down till they came into contact with Santana's underwear.

"Guess what this hot sexy blond wants to do now?" she asked, smirking as she started to kiss down Santana's jawline

"Hmm I don't know what does she wanna do?"

Brittany's kisses ended just before getting to Santana's ear where she stopped and whispered hotly "I wanna go down on you" she nibbled at Santana's earlobe before pulling back to see wide brown eyes looking at her

Santana couldn't find a response, but luckily she didn't have to when Brittany shuffled down her body taking her underwear with her and exposing Santana completely. Brittany's eyes didn't leave the glorious sight between the Latina's legs; they gleamed with excitement as she spread Santana's thighs to get a better look. She instantly noticed how wet Santana was and her hard little clit poking out just begging to be taken care of. "Oh there she is, I missed her so much" Brittany stated

"Who?" Santana wondered, still not totally with it as her arousal was taking over

Brittany giggled and answered "Little Santana" she informed as she ran a single index finger over her 'Little Sanny'

Santana couldn't help the giggle she let out just as she gasped slightly from the unexpected but welcome touch "Oh right. Well she missed you too, so much" Santana relaxed a little more into the pillow behind her and she let Britt do her thing

"Hmm I bet she did" Brittany smirked again before flicking her tongue over the rigid bundle of nerves. Santana's hips bucked instantly as she watched the blond between her legs "I don't think I've ever seen you this wet before, you must have really needed me" Brittany said as she sucked Santana's clit into her mouth, knowing now wasn't the time for teasing

Santana grunted as Brittany's lips worked her expertly well "Oh trust me baby, I really _needed _you"

Brittany hummed a response as she enjoyed sucking on Santana's pulsing nub, feeling it get even harder in her mouth, if that was even possible at this stage. Her hands held the Latina's hips to stop her from wiggling so much and she felt a small hand tangle into her blond hair and tug lightly on it with each suck and flick. Britt knew Santana's body by now, and just like Santana knew Brittany's signs of an impending orgasm Brittany knew where Santana was most sensitive and she knew one of those places was the very tip of Santana's clit so she liked to focus on that part just to see the tough badass girl lose it so quickly under her touch.

"Jesus Brittany, fuck yes, right there"

Back at the restaurant Kurt and Rachel were enjoying their delicious low calorie, earth friendly meal together as they talked about all things separate from Santana and Rachel's love life, Kurt's on the other hand was totally up for discussion it would seem

"So how are you and Blaine, any better than the last time we spoke?" Rachel wondered forking some sort of vegan pasta into her mouth

Kurt sighed as she looked over at his friend opposite him "I have no idea what's going on with us to be honest" Kurt pouted as he explained "I mean one minutes he's all into me and can't keep his hands off me then the next he's totally someplace else with glee and school and after school clubs, it's almost as if he's trying to avoid me" Kurt sadly put some food into his own mouth, sighing as he chewed

Rachel gave a sympathetic smile "Oh come on Kurt you know Blaine loves you, this is his last year at McKinley and he just wants to make it as great as ours was. Once he's done you'll be the only thing on his mind, trust me"

"I'm not too sure, I mean don't get me wrong, I love Blaine too, and I used to think we'd grow old together but now the thought of that seems so strange, I mean that's a life time and I'm just not so sure I want that anymore" Kurt said

"Do you think you're gonna break up?" Rachel wondered

"I have no idea, I love the thought of us moving here together after he graduates but I don't know maybe were just better off as good friends rather than boyfriends. I think I've kinda matured after we graduated and he's stayed the same" Kurt carried on sulking remembering his and Blaine's plan to move out to New York to join their friends once they were both done with school, then Kurt could also reapply for his dream school with the boy of his dreams by his side

"Well technically he is still in high school Kurt, give him chance. Maybe once he graduates at the end of the year he'll mature too and catch up with you" Rachel tried to reason

Kurt shook his head "God why do all relationships have to be so complicated?"

Rachel chuckled a little "Well least it's good to know I'm not the only one with a completely screwed up love life"

"When did love get so confusing and complicated? I remember when it used to be so simple"

"Well like you said we've grown up now, we're not little kids anymore. We're out in the real world now and the real world is big and it's scary and do you know what else? It's fucking hard" Rachel said matter of fact

Kurt instantly widened his eyes not used to Rachel's New York City potty mouth "Rachel Barbra Berry" he playfully reprimanded

"Well its true Kurt, I mean back at McKinley everything seemed so simple because it was but here and now, it's not so much, the sooner we realise that the better I say. Love sucks big time, but we just have to deal with it and work our way through it, because I still believe that true love prevails" Rachel stated confidently

"Is that why you and Finn worked out so fabulously?" Kurt jokingly questioned

"Well maybe Finn and I weren't meant to last, I mean it was good when it was there but it's not anymore, like I said deal with it and move on, but I still think you and Blaine can work through your rough patch and be closer than ever. He loves you and you love him there's no reason you two can't make it work seamlessly as it did a year ago"

"Maybe you're right, I don't know. God love really does suck. Its days like this I wish we were old enough to drink" Kurt stated smiling at Rachel

"Me too, not that age stopped us before, I mean how do you think I got myself into this love triangle mess in the first place? Drink and failed hopes and dreams. But at least drinking would make it easier to get thought Cassandra's fucking torture class later this week" Rachel groaned at the sheer thought of having to spend any amount of time of her holiday with that devil of a woman

"Oh come on she can't be that bad" Kurt replied

"No she's worse, one time a kid's foot slipped out of place during one of her numbers, she got him kicked out of the school" Rachel informed

"Jesus that is bad"

"Well that and he tried to flirt with her before class but point is she is a total nightmare and I have to see this nightmare when I'm supposed to be relaxing on my break with my friends, this sucks" Rachel groaned again "I tell you she's the devil just with really nice abs"

"Isn't that just Santana?" Kurt joked gaining a glare from Rachel as she kicked him under the table "Look at the bright side, least its only one day right?" Kurt tried to cheer the girl up

"One day with her is like spending an entire week listening to a Barbra Streisand song without ever seeing the musical it came from first, on a loop" Rachel explained like it was a tragic experience for everyone and not just them two

"Oh my god, that's terrible. See its things like that that make me kinda glad I didn't get into NYADA"

Back at the apartment:

"Holy shit Britt so close, so fucking close baby!" Santana groaned out, fists twisting the sheets under her body as Brittany licked and sucked hard on the head of her clit, her thighs being massaged by Brittany's delicate long fingers.

Brittany lapped up at the juices Santana was releasing, and humming with each taste of her girlfriend's arousal, the vibration running through Santana's core, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. "Britt, I'm almost there baby, don't stop" Santana begged knowing her girl would never leave her hanging in any case. Santana's hand grasped tightly into the blond's hair, guiding her to her most sensitive spots, her hips bucking wildly as she felt her orgasm only flicks away. "Oh god, I'm about to come Britt"

And with that Brittany smirked and wrapped her lips back around Santana's clit and sucked harder than ever before, giggling slightly at the noise that came out of the Latina's mouth that could only be described as a mix between a grunt and a gasp, and she was sure if she quizzed the girl on it later she would deny ever making it but for now Santana was quite happy with what Brittany's lips were making her do.

"Damn fuck" she whispered so quietly Brittany didn't even hear her as she held Brittany in place clearly not wanting her to move even in the slightest as she started to come into her girlfriend's mouth cursing under her breath in Spanish all the way. It had been so long since Brittany had personally made her orgasm and she couldn't believe how much she had missed it.

Brittany worked her all the way through her orgasm, till the last little wave of pleasure had run through the girl's body and left, once Santana stopped shuddering and bucking in her face Brittany pulled back and looked at her work. Santana panted, desperate to regain her breath as she looked down at Britt who seemed to be admiring just how wet she had made her.

Britt looked up into her girlfriend's eyes and gave her a satisfied smile; Santana threw a lazy smile back, as she watched Brittany. The blond leaned back in and gave a last gentle kiss, knowing Santana always got very sensitive after an orgasm, to Santana's clit.

Brittany crawled back up from between the girl's legs and hovered over her, kissing at her neck "God do you know how much I love giving you head, you always taste so amazing" the girl grinned into Santana's neck as she licked up to her ear

"That's because I floss" Santana joked "And by the way it's when you say things like that that lead into round two" she warned with a smile

"Well I'm totally up for that, but first a small rest" Britt said, rolling to the side of Santana and collapsing next to her, she had just worked pretty hard after all

Kurt and Rachel had just finished sharing a vegan friendly cheesecake, Rachel was pretty sure Kurt only ordered it because he had a crush on the waiter that they had had all evening. "Hey looking is fine as long as you don't touch" Kurt assured his friend

"Blaine is way cuter" Rachel assured, taking a look at the waiters ass herself

"You did make out with him after all, and shouldn't you be more into sorting out your own relationship problems rather than trying to make them more complicated?" Kurt asked

"I know, my love life is a living soap opera right now. I swear Santana was easier to figure out when she was in the closet" Rachel sighed

"Well you're not gonna figure out your problems by eating vegan cheesecake, what do you say we get out of here and go home, but not before taking a quick detour through central park" Kurt suggested hopefully, clapping his hands rapidly

"I don't know Kurt I'm not really in the mood to talk anymore, maybe we should just go home" Rachel responded sadly

"Are you sure, I mean you do know Satan is there right, with Lady Satan?" Kurt asked

"Brittany is not the devil Kurt"

"No but she is dating the one and only"

"Thanks for the reminder" Rachel sighed again

"Come on Rachel, it's not all bad" Kurt assured taking Rachel's hand over the table

Rachel sent a warm smile to her friend "I am so glad you are here, or this situation would be so awkward"

"Well that is why you have a best gay, to take away all the awkwardness out of affairs" he joked, making Rachel smile sincerely for once "Now come on girl, let's go home so I can mould my ass into your couch, it needs to feel right or I'll never get to sleep on that thing"

Santana and Brittany lay naked on Santana's bed for several minutes just listening to each other's breathing and enjoying being together for once and just holding one another. Brittany was kissing Santana's shoulder while she played with the Latina's nipple, while Santana ran her fingers through Brittany's hair, stroking it softly. It took a while for the blond to realise Santana was making an odd noise she didn't often hear, she pulled out of Santana's hold to look the girl in the face, her suspicions proved correct when she saw a tear roll down Santana's cheek "San are you crying? It wasn't that bad was it?" she asked worried Santana was actually crying from the sex, rather than guilt she knew nothing about.

Santana wiped at her tears with the back of her hand smiling at the blond's adorableness "No Britt, no it wasn't that" she assured taking Brittany's hand in hers, the one that was previously caressing a nipple "That was amazing, it always is Britt" she said honestly

"Then why are you crying?" Britt asked, wrapping her arm back around the smaller girl for comfort

"I'm just so sorry" Santana replied, more tears running down her tanned cheeks

Brittany furrowed her brows "Sorry? Why are you sorry baby?"

"I'm just so sorry that we can't be together like we used to be in high school" Santana cried

"San that's not your fault" Brittany wiped away at the girl's tears with a thumb

Santana nodded "Yes it is, if I never left then none of this would have happened"

"None of what San? You're just being silly, Yeah were not with each other as much as we use to be but we still see each other and talk to one another, and it's not gonna be for much longer remember, as soon as I've done with school I'm gonna move here. We talked about this, once I graduate we never ever have to be apart again, it will be just like it used to be" Brittany explained

Hearing Brittany talk about the future they had always wanted just made Santana cry harder "I just really miss you like you have no idea Brittany, it's so fucking hard" her voice croaked as she spoke and cried into Brittany's shoulder

Brittany stroked Santana's hair and held her tighter "Of course I have an idea Sanny because I miss you just the same, but baby you know it won't be forever" the blond assured, hating seeing her usually so together girlfriend so upset

"I know. I know but I can't help thinking it's just never gonna be the same as it used to be" San said heartbrokenly

"Please don't cry San, I hate it when you're sad like this" Brittany pleaded as she looked deep into the Latina's big teary eyes, she could see Santana was trying to compose herself "I know what will cheer you up" Britt smiled wide

"What?" Santana wondered, smiling back as she wiped at her tears again, desperate to stop crying for her girlfriend's sake

"Ice cream" Britt stated excitedly with wide eyes "We always used to have ice cream after sex remember?" Britt placed a hand under Santana's chin and lifted the girl's head

"How could I forget? I think we have some cookie dough ice cream in the freezer" Santana informed with a smile just as wide as the blond's, all the little memories of what she and Britt used to be like less than a year ago came flooding back to her

"Good, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere" Brittany ordered sweetly before leaning in and placing a soft kiss to the tip of Santana's nose

"Where would I go?" Santana smiled, cupping Brittany's cheeks with her hands and pulling her back in for a deeper more meaningful kiss "I love you"

Britt smirked "Love you too, sexy" she tapped Santana's nose

Santana watched Britt crawl out of bed in the complete nude, admiring the perfect view of the blond's ass who was deliberately swaying her hips knowing her girlfriend was staring. Brittany went over to the drawer Santana had cleared for her stuff to go in and she bent down and pulled it open, giving an even better view of her ass to the Latina who was by now biting her bottom lip, getting turned on all over again and they hadn't even had their ice cream yet.

Brittany pulled out her extra baggy sleep shirt and slipped it over her head, it came down to her mid thighs and Santana always thought she looked so sexy in it. Britt giggled when she saw Santana was just staring at her body; she really was just a horny teenager at times. Brittany would usually want to wear one of Santana's shirts but most of Santana's shirts were like a bikini on her due to the fact she was so much taller than the Latina but she did occasionally still slip on Santana's Cheerios jacket despite the fact she had her own. It was one of the only things she stole from Santana before the girl went off to college, Brittany believed Santana thought she just misplaced it but what she didn't know was Santana knew Brittany had taken it, and she didn't mind, she didn't really wear it anymore and she liked the fact her girlfriend wanted something of hers to wear at night to comfort her in her loneliness. In exchange Brittany had snuck in one of her favourite t-shirts into her girlfriend's suitcase before she left so Santana could take a bit of Brittany with her too and wear it just like Brittany wore her jacket. Brittany loved the way Santana's jacket felt on her, though it was exactly the same as her own Santana's always felt different, it seemed warmer, and though it was smaller it still seemed baggier so she could cuddle herself in it and feel like she was cuddling with Santana, which wasn't hard to imagine as the jacket was covered in the smell of the girl, her shampoo, her deodorant and perfume, even her favourite food, breadsticks. The item of clothing alone was enough to keep Brittany happy until she was able to see Santana's face again; she always kept a small picture of Santana in the pocket of the jacket, to pull out whenever the jacket just wasn't quite enough.

"Ok I'll be right back" Britt spoke up, skipping out the room and towards the kitchen leaving Santana to laugh at her girlfriend's antics.

Brittany made her way to the freezer and opened it, searching for the said cookie dough ice cream Santana was certain was in there somewhere. Brittany began to hum to herself as she explored the freezer, doing a little dance as she went.

"All I'm saying is Diana Ross _may_ have been a better Rachel Marron than Whitney, I didn't say she _would have _been" Kurt said fighting his side of the argument he had started with Rachel right after leaving the restaurant

"Well Madonna was also considered for the role but honestly I don't think even she would have been able to make the role as iconic as Whitney did, after all playing any Rachel is a tall order and you need someone with top talent" Rachel replied very diva like

"And Madonna doesn't have talent? Rachel do you know how many times the glee club covered one of her songs?" Kurt wondered with a laugh

"No I'm not saying she isn't talented of course she is she's _Madonna_, she invented the cone bra, Katy Perry just made them cream. I'm just saying if Barbra didn't get the part then Whitney was a good close second" Rachel fought back knowing Kurt couldn't win this fight because she was always right. She was a diva after all.

Rachel put her key in the lock of their apartment door and opened it; the pair stepped in tossing their jackets and expensive label coats down as they continued their argument into the kitchen. "Rachel you can't honestly think that…oh hi Britt" Kurt stopped instantly, blinking over and over again when his young innocent eyes caught sight of Brittany dressed in nothing but a long baggy shirt. Whether she had panties on under that thing was to be determined. Who knows? Kurt found himself wondering, despite his flaming homosexuality

"Hey guys" Brittany spun around excitedly, smile on her face, her shirt spinning with her, almost, not quite, but _almost_ answering the boy's panties question first hand.

"What are you looking for?" Kurt wondered

"Santana said there was some ice cream in here somewhere" Britt answered going back to searching the freezer, Kurt's eye brows rose high on his head, ice cream? Whether it was for eating or to use during sex was his second question but yet another he decided to keep to himself. Who knows?

"Check the top shelf" Rachel suggested

Brittany took the girl's advice and began to look through the assortment of food, mostly junk food, Brittany smirked realising this must have been 'Santana's shelf', she quickly found what she was looking for "Found it!" she squealed happily bringing out a half-eaten tub of 'Ben and Jerry's' cookie dough flavour ice cream

"You wanna spoon for that?" Kurt asked the bouncy blond

"We have fingers, why would we need a spoon?" Britt giggled at Kurt, clearly suggesting an answer to his second question about the use of the ice cream, though Brittany's true intention was to just eat the dessert

Rachel found herself glaring at Brittany, she didn't even realise she was doing it but she knew why. She knew she was jealous. She was jealous because Brittany got to be with Santana as her girlfriend. Rachel was just Santana's dirty little secret. She wanted to be open with Santana but knew she couldn't. It was then she realised maybe she would never get to that part, she wanted Santana but Santana clearly wanted Brittany, and she couldn't hate her for that. The blond was her first love after all "Looks like you two had a good catch up" she found herself saying in her jealousy, running her eyes over Brittany's attire

Britt smirked instantly and nodded "The best. Santana's always better and so energetic when she hasn't had sex in ages" the blond informed

"Yeah I guess it has been a while" Rachel gave a fake smile

"Britt what's taking so long...?" a new yet familiar voice entered the conversation, the three teens turning to see Santana walk into the kitchen in her tight fitting tank top and a pair of red and white boyshorts. Santana stopped suddenly after seeing the three friends staring at her "…Oh Rach, Kurt, you're back?" she said glad she put on some sort of clothing before leaving her bedroom

Rachel's eyes involuntarily roamed the Latina's body, her perfect tanned legs, and her butt sitting snugly in that damn fitting underwear. Then Rachel's eyes reached Santana's chest, the tank she was wearing didn't leave much to the imagination especially as it was plain white and practically see-through. Rachel looked away out of respect when she noticed she could see Santana's nipples which were still hard through the shirt.

Kurt looked at Santana then back over at Brittany who had her finger dipped in the tub of ice cream "Uh please tell me you didn't have relations on the couch?" he asked not sure if he really wanted to know "I have to sleep there, you know" he panicked

Santana looked at him and rolled her eyes "Relax ladylips, the couch is as dry as its always been, we didn't wet your bed so you're still safe for now" she gave the boy a devious grin and wink which just made him shudder, he really hoped Santana was just teasing him.

"San I found the ice cream, it's really good" Britt said smirking as she pulled her finger from the pot covered in ice cream then put it in her mouth and sucked on it suggestively, giggling slightly when she saw Santana's eyes grow wide.

Santana found herself stepping closer towards her girlfriend and without really thinking she leaned up and captured Brittany's cold icy yet delicious tasting lips with her own. Kurt looked over at Rachel to catch her reaction but the diva just stared at the couple, he couldn't read her.

When the girls eventually stopped kissing Santana finished off by licking at Brittany's bottom lip which still had a small bit of ice cream smudged on it. "Guys please your room is like, right there" Kurt interrupted the sexy moment, not just for Rachel's sake but for his own, he really didn't need to see this.

Santana pulled away from the tall blond and looked over her shoulder at Kurt sending him her best death stare, but then her eyes moved to Rachel who was looking down at the ground, clearly finding the whole thing painful to watch and awkward on top of that. She took Brittany's hand and tugged on it "Come on baby, lets finish what we started in privacy" Santana said aiming her comment at the boy.

"And make sure you keep the noise down, if I hear that bed hitting the wall just once I swear I will play the 'Wicked' soundtrack so loud…" Kurt warned pointing an accusing finger as the couple walked past him and out of the kitchen back towards their love nest. The kitchen remained silent for a few seconds before Kurt looked over at his best friend, Rachel was still looking towards the floor. "You ok?" he asked knowing Rachel must have a bunch of crazy feelings and emotions running through her body right now

Rachel finally looked up and turned to Kurt "I'm fine" she said so quietly Kurt knew it was a front

"Rachel I know it's hard but I've never seen a love triangle that works out without at least one corner getting hurt" Kurt said

"I'm gonna go to bed, I'm really tired so…" she replied waving away his theory "But thank you for dinner, it was lovely, really I'm so happy you're here" Rachel's voice remained quiet as she stepped forward and hugged the boy like she didn't want to let him go. She had a tear threatening to break out but she tried desperately to keep it in until she was behind the closed door of her room

"No problem, goodnight Rach" he said softly, stroking the girl's hair

"Goodnight" her voice broke and Kurt knew Rachel was far from ok but he didn't want to push her into talking more about something she clearly wanted to forget, at least for now. She pulled away from Kurt and quickly made her way out of the room, keeping her head down so he couldn't see her tears.

Kurt waited until he heard the click of Rachel bedroom door before he spoke again "Love really is a bitch" he whispered to himself, referring to not only his friend's troubles with the four letter L word but his own too.

**A/N: ****Ok so you guys remember that jealous Santana I mentioned last chapter, well I realise she wasn't in this chapter like I bet you did too, that is because I decided to split Kurt and Brittany's first visit chapter into more chapters than I originally planned because I added to it. But I promise you jealous Santana will definitely be turning up for the next chapter, feel free to tell me I'm a tease ;)**

**Please review you guys and let me know what you thought, so much angst **


	7. Chapter 7

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 7

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Brittana (Santana/ Brittany)

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ** **A thanks for all the great reviews, reading them makes my day. I know some of you may have skipped the Brittana love but understand it's in their to move the story along just a warning there will be some more in this chapter but not quite the same as last, it's more complicated than that this time. Now who wants a little jealous Santana in this chapter huh? Na I didn't think you did that's why I deleted those scenes…what do you mean I accidently left them in? Oops totally kidding I didn't delete them, I wouldn't do that to you guys, not like a particular person I know who does do that to his fans, no names mentioned but his initials are RM, love you really Ryan, but seriously? Also really sorry my updates have taken so long, December was a busy month, can't imagine how Santa copes haha. This was actually written way before Christmas but I just didn't have time to upload it so I'm super sorry it took so long**

**A/N 2: Just a few quick notes, one: some people want Brody in the story some want Cassandra, and others just want someone. I made a choice ages ago who was gonna be the first of many to make Santana jealous, yes that's right it's not just gonna be one person, but the first is in this chapter. We will see the others in other chapters, can you guess who they are gonna be? Two: it's great to see some of you love Pezberry but hate San and Rachel for what they are doing, and some feel bad for Britt or feel bad for Rachel and you all have different opinions it's funny to see them all, I will say now though that what would the story be without all the drama and angst and as I am quote 'Queen of Teaserville' I love to mix it up with the characters, but I still think that by the end of the story I think it will all work out in one way or another. Last but not least three: I got an anon 'KC' saying about me using San instead or Santana and Britt instead of Brittany etc. And this is the first person to comment on that so I take it no one else really noticed or cares but I would like to say I don't really do it out of laziness though I am a lazy person. I do it mostly because I hate having to read Santana or Rachel or Brittany over and over again so I like to mix it up a bit that's all and as I love the characters so much it's almost as if I'm informal with them so I just like to use a bit of that in my writing, I am sorry if it annoys you but it's just something I do and most likely will continue to do as I don't really think about it too much, this is my official apology and hope it doesn't affect you liking the story. So if you are that anon I apologize for it. Ok now this was a long yet necessary AN on with the jealousy. **

"So will we get our own place?" Brittany asked her girlfriend who seemed more than preoccupied inside her own head.

"What?" Santana looked over from across the table at the blond. They were currently in a nice restaurant Brittany had been begging Santana to take her too since she arrived for her visit in New York and Santana finally caved, deciding it was best to get out of the apartment for a couple of hours and away from everyone's judging eyes. She figured it would be good for Rachel too seeing as the smaller brunette had been keeping her distance and practically ignoring her the whole time Brittany and Kurt were around. Santana was no idiot, she knew why, and she knew it was mostly her fault, but what was she supposed to do? She tried to act as normal as possible around her girlfriend while giving Rachel a little space, not really caring too much if that was what Rachel really wanted.

Rachel had been spending most of her time with Kurt anyway; busying herself with things that could take her mind off of her oh so complicated love life. Brittany and Kurt were half way through their stay in New York City and so far a lot of that had been spent under very intense awkwardness but Santana was determined not to give anything away. She couldn't ruin what she had with Brittany, she just couldn't, she loved her too much to let her go, or at least that's what she liked to believe.

"I said, are we gonna get our own place? God Santana I swear your mind is elsewhere tonight, what's the matter with you?" Brittany asked, with some concern

Santana locked eyes with the worried crystal blue ones looking back at her, she then took Brittany's hand in hers over the table "Nothing's wrong Britt. I'm sorry what were you talking about, I promise I'll listen this time" she gave half a smile, hoping it was sexy enough for Brittany to forget about her weirdness tonight

"I'm talking about when I finish school and move here with you. You know our American dream" she giggled a little

"Oh right that" Santana said quietly looking down at their joint hands, she ran her thumb over the blond's pale knuckles

"So will we get a place of our own, or do you still want to live with Rachel?" Brittany asked again, hoping third time was the charm

"I don't know Britt we'll have to see, it's not happening yet right? We have plenty of time to sort all that out. Besides anything can happen between now and then" Santana replied regretfully

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brittany asked picking up on the uncertainty in the Latina's voice

"Nothing, it doesn't mean anything I just mean there's time for all this. I don't want to rush anything that's all" Santana shrugged, not really knowing what else to say to calm the blond

"Well don't sound too excited San" Brittany said becoming a little pissed as she pulled her hand away from her girlfriend's

"I'm sorry Britt, I didn't mean to upset you I just…I don't know maybe ok? Maybe we will get our own place" Santana said mostly just to cheer the taller girl up

Brittany frowned at the other girl a little "Maybe? What do you mean maybe? I thought you loved the idea of us together in New York?" the blond questioned

Santana sighed, she didn't want to fight right now "I did…I _do_ but it was an idea _before_"

"Before what Santana?" Brittany asked getting more peeved by each word that left her girlfriend's mouth

'_before I started an affair with Rachel and kinda started falling for her'_ Santana looked deep into the blue eyes she had fallen so madly in love with all that time ago, she wanted to tell her the truth, Brittany _deserved_ the truth, but she was a coward, she knew that, she could admit that. "Before I moved out here" she went with the coward's option

Brittany's features softened slightly as Santana looked into her so deeply it was like the girl was trying to find her soul "What you don't like New York?" she wondered

Santana shook her head "No I do, I love this place. I just don't want you doing something because of _me_"

"I'm not, I'm doing it for _us_" Brittany assured reaching back over the table to grab the girl's hand and hold it tight in her own, she gave a gentle smile, showing she was no longer mad

Santana tried to return the smile, but what came out wasn't what she wasn't attempting to give, she just hoped Brittany couldn't see it was fake "Great" she replied, even her words were fake "I just want you to be happy Brittany" finally something that wasn't fake. She _did_ want the girl to be happy and maybe that wouldn't happen with her but she wasn't ready to lose her

"I know, and I'm happy when I'm with you San. You _are_ what makes me happy" Brittany gave a big smile as she brought their clasped hands up to her lips and kissed the back of Santana's hand before nuzzling it to her cheek "I love you Santana"

"I know" she smiled, finding her mouth was suddenly dry for all the wrong reasons "I don't feel so good Britt, can we go home?" Santana asked, vulnerability painted everywhere from her eyes to the depths of her tone

Brittany got that look on her face again, the one of worry and concern "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I just wanna go home ok"

"Sure, do you want me to pay?" Brittany asked as she picked up her purse

"No its ok I got this" Santana assured calling over their waitress so they could get the bill and leave

_20 minutes later…_

Santana opened the door to the apartment and let Brittany pass her, she followed the blond in and flicked on the lights, clearly Rachel was still out with Kurt doing god knows what, most likely thinking it would get her mind off of any Latina beauties that happen to be toying with her heart strings currently.

Santana shut the door behind them, turned around to take off her jacket and tossed it down along with her keys. Brittany also threw off her coat and walked up to Santana "How are you feeling now?" she asked

"Better thanks. I think the fresh air did me good" Santana answered

Brittany smirked and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck "Good because I was hoping we could have some fun tonight, and it doesn't look like Kurt and Rachel are back yet. So what do you say?"

Santana couldn't help the smile that flashed on her face especially not after Brittany bucked her hips not so subtly into her own "Britt we shouldn't baby" she half groaned

"Come on San, I bet you're already wanting me" Brittany teased

"But they could be back any minute now"

"Then I guess we will have to be quick then won't we?" Brittany challenged already pulling her girlfriend into the living room towards the couch "And I know for a fact you don't usually have a problem with that" the blond giggled

Santana raised her brows, she couldn't work out if that was meant as an insult or a compliment but she pushed it aside when the taller girl smashed their lips together in a rushed kissed. Santana's hands instantly grabbed at Brittany's waist as the blond pulled them both down on the soft material of the couch. Brittany's hands were already unbuttoning her own pants when Santana broke the kiss, the Latina really wanted to protest, she didn't really feel like having sex right now but she wasn't really thinking with her head when she was on top of Brittany and Brittany was already stripping naked in front of her.

She felt a rush of heat go straight between her legs as she watched Brittany pull her pants down to expose her panties that had a clear wet spot on them. Santana smirked "Been thinking about this for a while hey Britt?" Santana chuckled

Brittany brought a hand to Santana's face to cup her cheek "Please San, I've wanted you all day"

Santana laughed again "We did it this morning Britt-Britt"

"But I didn't get your mouth this morning" the blond said, desperation dripping from her voice

Santana shook her head in disbelief of how Brittany could go from so innocently being concern with her health to begging her for release in the click of the fingers, but she loved it too so she didn't deny her girlfriend the pleasure. She dipped her fingers into Brittany's panties and slowly dragged them down long tones legs, leaving them around her ankles along with the girl's pants. She could already see how wet Brittany was and she just wanted to get stuck right in. "You look so good right now" Santana said huskily as she leaned up to place a loving kiss on the blond's lips, her nails dragging up pale thighs

Santana broke the kiss and settled in a comfortable position between her girl's legs, she took in Brittany's unique aroma, trying her best not to compare it to Rachel's scent or taste when she went down on the diva. Shaking all thoughts of other girls out of her head she dipped her tongue out to drag it up Brittany's slit, tasting the precome and humming at the strong musky flavour "Oh god San, more" Brittany whimpered, pushing a hand into brunette locks and letting her head fall back on the couch as Santana gave her another lick

"Hmm god Britt you always taste amazing" the Latina complimented bringing her lips up to suck on the blond's clit. Her tongue began to flick over the sensitive bud as she sucked on it, Brittany's hips bucking up almost wildly into Santana who tried to keep her still with both hands gripping tight to the girl's thighs.

"Shit San, that's so good" Brittany gasped, the pleasure between her legs taking her over so completely that she was surprised she could even form a sentence right now. She brushed her fingers through her girlfriend's hair as they locked eyes for a split second before Santana darted hers away. Brittany thought it odd as Santana usually liked when they made eye contact during oral but she didn't think too much about it when the Latina gave her another firm flick of the tongue and started to suck even harder and graze her nails across her thighs "Holy god!" Britt cried, her eyes almost rolling back into her head as her body slumped further down on the couch

Santana tried to ignore everything around her, all her thoughts and memories she was trying to forget. All she wanted was to focus on making her girlfriend feel good, but it was like something was in the way. She could guess what it was but she wouldn't admit it to herself, not yet.

Both girls were so engrossed in what was going on between them that neither heard the door to the apartment open and Kurt and Rachel step inside, quickly making their way into the living room for the shock of their young lives; Santana on her knees between Brittany's legs, going at it like there was no tomorrow.

"GUYS!" Kurt yelled far too loudly. His eyes wide with horror more than shock, he tried to shield them from the view in front of him as Santana jolted up off her knees with a whispered 'fuck' and wiped her mouth hastily with the palm of her hand

"Oh my god" Rachel quietly muttered to herself, her face was a mix of disappointment and surprise; the bad kind. Rachel looked from a slightly embarrassed Brittany up to an emotionless Santana, their eyes briefly locking until both girls looked away

"Oops" was all Brittany added, grabbing her pants from around her ankles and pulling them back up, and her cheeks lightly blushed with what they had been doing and a little bit of embarrassment

Kurt took a few steps closer to the pair uncovering his eyes once he knew no lady parts were on show, his brow furrowed as he stared at Santana in disbelief "What the hell Santana!?" he asked angrily

"Um I'm gonna go to my room" a shy voice was heard coming from Rachel as Kurt looked over his shoulder at the small diva who was simply looking at the floor not wanting to see any of this and pointing in the direction of her room. Both Kurt and Santana watched the girl walk out of sight and into her room defeated like someone had shot her through the heart and then ripped it right out of her chest.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kurt ask, anger still in his voice as he turned his attention back to the Latina who didn't give much away in her face

Santana frowned back at the boy "Playing mommies and daddies, what the fuck does it look like we're doing Hummel!?" she suddenly grew defensive, knowing that was her best card to play in times like this. She couldn't show Kurt she had a vulnerability and especially not in front of Brittany

"It looks like you're being an ass" the boy responded and Santana knew exactly what he was referring to

"What's the big deal?" she growled back

Kurt's eyes left Santana's dark ones for a moment to look over at the innocent Brittany still sat on the couch recovering from her embarrassment then he returned his gaze to the brunette "You know what the big deal is Santana" he attempted to quieten his voice but they both knew Brittany could still hear him

Santana was about to respond when Brittany grabbed her hand and tugged her lightly to get her to calm down "Don't worry Kurt we were gonna clean up any wet spots we left behind" the blond smiled sweetly trying to defuse the heated situation

"It's none of your business anyway Kurt" Santana barked trying to confront the boy to only be tugged back by her girlfriend's hand on hers once more

Kurt shook his head "Get it together Santana" he finished before giving the girl a once over, smiling back at Brittany and walking out the room

Santana turned her attention back to her girlfriend who looked pretty confused by the whole heated exchange "What's his problem?" she wondered

The Latina sat back down on the couch and shrugged "He's just being Kurt, typical drama queen. Fuck him come on let's take this to my room" Santana smirked leaning in to press a suggestive kiss to her girlfriend's lips before standing up and making her way to her own room taking her girl with her by their joint hands, away from interrupting people who make her feel bad and guilty, even if she was even less turned on now.

Kurt stood outside Rachel's closed bedroom door, he felt bad for the diva knowing what must have been going on in her head right now. Two girls having sex was bad enough to see from his point of view but from Rachel's knowing the girl was in love with one of those girls he couldn't bare to think how much emotional pain she must be in. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, Rachel didn't answer most likely assuming it was Santana so he knocked again "Rach, it's me Kurt, can I come in?" he asked. Hearing a muffled teary 'yes' behind the door he slowly opened it and stepped inside, being sure to close it after him so no one else could hear the conversation they were about to have

Rachel was laying on her bed, a tissue in hand dabbing at her red teary eyes, Kurt's heart hurt for the girl as he went over to her and sat down on the bed "Hey you ok?" silly question, he knew she wasn't. He placed a comforting hand on the girl's knee

Rachel sat up and wiped her eyes again "I'm fine, I mean I knew they were doing that type of thing in her bedroom but I really didn't want to see it too" Rachel shrugged her shoulders. _Knowing_ Santana was doing something and actually _seeing_ her doing it was very different, now she saw Santana she knew this was all too real. She didn't know whether to be more upset over the fact Santana didn't want her as much as she wanted Brittany or the fact she had had sex with Santana while knowing she was _with_ Brittany

Kurt gave a sympathetic smile "Its ok I shouted at her"

Rachel's eyes opened wide "You didn't…?"

"No I didn't say anything" he assured her. He didn't know if Rachel meant about the affair or about Rachel's true feelings for Santana but either way he didn't mention them so they were all still somewhat safe, for now at least

"Does she really have to do that like right there, I mean she knows I live here too right?" Rachel asked no one in particular as her eyes looked off into the distance of her room

"Look Rachel she's just being an idiot right now ok. As soon as Brittany is back in Lima she'll realise what a jerk she has been. As for me I don't think I can ever look at those two in the same way again, I mean is that really what girls look like?" he joked trying to lighten the mood a little

Rachel gave a small chuckle "What did you think we had going on down there?" She replied, mopping away her ruined mascara with the soiled Kleenex in her hand

Kurt scooted closer to the girl giving her another warm smile "Come on Rach, don't cry over her, don't you think you deserve better? You deserve a girl or a guy that loves you for you and only you"

Silence fell on the two as they let the question sink in, but Rachel knew what her answer was "I don't want better, I want her Kurt. I can't pretend I don't, I'm too far gone for that. I wish I wasn't but…" she gave a brief pause as she collected herself "…I am" she finished, looking like she was about to cry again Kurt quickly wrapped his arms around the small girl pulling her in for a much needed tight hug

"Oh Rach" he said feeling even worse for the girl than before he entered her room. He got it, he understood Rachel had such strong feelings for Santana that she couldn't just turn her back and forget about her, but he also wanted Rachel to be happy in love and not in some messed up painful relationship that seemed more complicated than simple. Overall though he just wanted his best friend to be happy and if she loved someone that much maybe she was worth the pain and suffering to get to the good stuff. He only hoped Rachel and Santana would sort out this thing between them and fast so both of their hearts could finally rest and things could get back to normal, well as normal as they could be after an affair. Plus he knew what they were doing wasn't fair on Brittany and he hated lying to the blond.

"God sometimes I wish you were straight and I could just date you" Rachel joked rather seriously as they broke the embrace

"Thanks but even if that were true, I think I'd prefer blonds" he joked back as he cupped Rachel's cheek. They both began to laugh and tried to forget the whole drama of the day and focus on the good times she had had out on the town with Kurt today.

"Have I mentioned I'm so glad you're here?"

"Once or twice perhaps but I'll never get tired of hearing it" he smiled warmly and gave her another hug

The next morning:

Rachel woke up to her alarm clock going off it wasn't as early as usual as she didn't have to get up quite as early. She groaned remembering what day it was today: her mandatory dance class with the one and only Cassandra July. She hated that woman, she was on break from class yet Cassandra being the mean bitch she is decided to set up a mandatory dance class for any student she seemed fit to criticise even further, and of course one of those people just had to be Rachel Berry. To make matters worse said bitch also decided to set her students the task of writing a dancing assignment on their favourite style of dance, which _had_ to be no less than five thousand words due in on the day of the class. Luckily for Rachel who always liked to be on top of her work she had managed to write hers within the first few days of receiving the assignment

Rachel rolled out of her bed, her eyes still stinging a little from last night's crying session but she wanted to forget all about that and just get her dance class over with so she could enjoy the rest of the time she had with Kurt before he left to go back to Ohio

She grabbed some of her dancing gear and stretched her body getting rid of all her tiredness and then made her way to the bathroom to get ready for Cassandra, she shuddered visually at the thought. As she walked past Santana's room she stopped suddenly when she heard talking, it was muffled so she couldn't hear what was being said but it was clear both girls were already awake and more than likely up to something Rachel didn't even want to think about. She closed her eyes, gripped tighter to her clothes and gave a deep breath to calm herself before continuing on her journey towards the bathroom. Whatever Santana did in her own room wasn't any of her business or so she wanted to believe, maybe a nice shower will wash away all her problems, _if only life were that simple _Rachel thought to herself.

Once Rachel had finished her shower and was dressed ready to put up with Miss July's torturous routines she headed to the kitchen to grab some much needed breakfast, if she was gonna put up with Cassandra today she at least had to have a full stomach.

She walked in to find Kurt making breakfast for everyone; Santana and Brittany were sat at the kitchen island taking quietly amongst themselves. Rachel decided to just ignore them and get on with her day "Morning Rachel" Kurt sung as he cooked up some of his famous Hummel recipe pancakes

"Morning Kurt" she smiled at him sweetly and breathed in the delightful smell of morning cooking

"Hey Rach" Brittany greeted

"Morning Britt, Santana" Rachel's voice quietened slightly on the last name

"Rachel" Santana replied back with matching (lack of) enthusiasm

"So you ready for your special class with Miss July 'the evil bitch from hell'?" Kurt asked jokingly as he served up his pancakes on four plates

"God just kill me now" she groaned, not wanting to be reminded of the horror she had to face. If she knew about Cassandra before applying to NYADA then maybe she would have thought twice about doing so, but she knows that in the end when she finishes college it will all be worth it "What are your plans for today?" Rachel asked her friend

"I was thinking I might hit the stores and do some much needed New York shopping, I mean after all the stores in this city are so much gayer than the ones back in Ohio it should be a dream come true. Plus I wanna try and get something nice for Blaine, you know like a gift" he explained

"Sounds like so much more fun that what my day has in store"

"Well I'll try not to have too much fun in honour of you" he smiled and rubbed Rachel's back "Hey maybe you girls could come with me, Santana you know your way around you could show me some of the best stores" Kurt suggested looking at both Santana and Brittany expectantly

"Sorry ladylips as much as I love trudging through gay shops, me and Britts have a few things to catch up on" Santana answered her tone clearly more suggestive than perhaps she meant it to be

"I so do not need to hear that "Kurt said waving his hands around trying to rid himself of the images now creeping back into his mind from last night

"Why do gay guys always seem to freak out at the first mention of vaginas? I mean I put up with your frank and beans for years with no complaining" Santana joked

"Oh did you really have to say the V word?" Kurt shuddered

Brittany just started to giggle at her friends antics as they threw banter back and forth, Rachel watched on slightly amused for a few minutes before deciding it was time to leave when she started to get that unhappy feeling in her chest once more. "Ok I best leave or I'll be late, I'll catch you guys later. Have fun on your shopping spree Kurt" she said taking the rest of her pancake in her hand and waving goodbye to the trio, she headed towards the front door, grabbed her coat and bag and slipped out without another word said.

"I best leave too, I'm gonna get my man a present. Any suggestions?" he asked, taking off the apron he had put on to cook breakfast

"A Rolex" Brittany said

"A vibrator" Santana laughed

"So no?" Kurt chuckled, both suggestions not really what he was thinking but still he considered them "Ok so I'll see you later, and Santana, please be good" he pleaded smiling at the Latina

"I can only try" she said charmingly so

_Rachel's dance class:_

"Ok come on people we have a lot of work to do today so no more slacking. I want everyone's feet to be bleeding by the end of this and if they're not then guess what? You don't belong in this school. You are all here because you all suck at an A+ rate and I'm here to change that" Cassandra shouted at them all

Rachel grumbled as she placed her coat and bag down and mentally prepared for the onslaught that was one Cassie July. "Ok you pathetic excuses of up and coming Broadway stars I want your asses on my dance floor in five minutes and your dance assignments on the piano by the end of the lesson, do I make myself clear?" Rachel's eyes shot open wide, _'holy crap my dance assignment!'_ her mind screamed at her. She had left it in her room on her desk after forgetting to put it in her bag after leaving in such a rush.

Rachel's mind began to panic, she thought about all the evil things Cassie would do to her if she knew she didn't have her assignment, she would make her life hellish, well more than it already was being in her dance class. _'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!' _Rachel chanted inside her head, she had options she could tell Cassie she had simply forgotten it and would get it to her as soon as possible and suffer any inhuman consequences the blond woman could throw at her, or she could make a phone call and have the assignment brought to her by the end of class. Rachel threw open her bag to search for her cell phone, quickly finding it. She was about to press Kurt's number when she remembered he wasn't in the apartment, she cursed New York for having such a fine selection of stores and making themselves so attractive to the young gay community. With that in mind she tried his cell anyway, she had to do something right?

She pressed his number and held the phone to her ear hearing the ringing tone "Come on Kurt, please pick up" she pleaded to herself, tapping her foot impatiently and biting a nail. When she got through to his voice mail she felt like screaming, Kurt must have found the latest collection of Jimmy Choo shoes or Chanel sweaters

She looked around the dance studio before hanging up, what the hell was she gonna do now? She _had_ to hand in that assignment there was no way she was gonna suffer any more than necessary at the hands of Cassie July. She only had one option, she closed her eyes and composed herself before she flicked through her contacts and landed on the one she needed

_Meanwhile…_

Brittany pressed her lips lightly to Santana's, the Latina's hands soon working their way under her shirt to fiddle with the blond's bra clasp. Santana moaned into Brittany's open mouth when the taller girl placed a thigh between her legs, pressing down on her core.

Santana adjusted herself on her bed and Brittany settled more comfortably on top of her, hands tangling in blond hair as their lips continued to move together so perfectly. Gentle moans escaping from both pairs of lips. Britt sat up straddling Santana's hips, Santana's hands landing on the blond's thighs to steady her. Their eyes locked in intimacy as Brittany smirked and started to tug her shirt off over her head.

Santana's eyes shamelessly scanned the blond's body, from her hard toned abs to her perky breasts sat in her red bra. Brittany tossed her shirt behind her and ran her hands down her own body, knowing it would get her girlfriend going. The smirk on her face growing as she watched Santana's eyes follow her hand movements. Brittany leaned back down to reunite their lips, pushing her tongue into Santana's mouth forcefully, not waiting for permission.

Both girls groaned in frustration when Santana's phone began to vibrate, both quickly realising said vibrating phone was still in the Latina's pants pocket. Brittany broke the kiss with a gasp as the vibration ran through her body "Mmm that's so nice and thoughtful" she giggled knowing it wasn't intentional, Santana had simply forgotten to take her phone out of her pocket before they started making out on her bed.

"You like that baby?" Santana chuckled watching Brittany aim her hips to get the full effect of the vibrations

"Maybe we should just ring your phone over and over again and put it between us" Brittany suggested with her own sly chuckle

Santana raised her brows not totally against the idea, it would be hot but she should really see who's phoning her in case it's an emergency. "Sorry Britt" she said regretfully as she pushed her hand between herself and Brittany to slide into her pocket and pull her phone out, she gave another laugh when Brittany groaned at the loss of sensation.

Santana looked at the screen to see the familiar name lighting it up as Brittany leaned back down to press kisses down her girlfriend's jaw "Its Rachel" Santana spoke slightly confused, the last person she expected to be calling her currently was the diva

"Don't answer it baby" Brittany breathed into her neck as she continued to kiss and nibble at the skin in order to persuade her

"But she might need something" Santana struggled to get out as her girlfriend's mouth kept on attacking her

"She can wait" Brittany whimpered, just wanting Santana to forget everything around them and relax for once

"You're right" Santana agreed and declined the call; she didn't want Rachel to think she was just ignoring her but Brittany's thigh pressing between her legs was hard to ignore too. She placed her phone down at her side as she pulled Brittany's lips back on hers. The kiss didn't last long before being interrupted once again by Santana's phone, this time vibrating to signal she had received a text "Fuck" Santana moaned as she attempted to reach for her phone again battling with Brittany's tongue in her mouth. She managed to look at the screen and read the text from the corner of her eye as the blond pressed her half naked torso against her fully clothed one

_From Rachel _

_SOS! I forgot my assignment for class, it's on my desk. I need you to bring it to me before Miss July asks for them please San I need you!_

"Rachel forgot her assignment" Santana said between sloppy kisses from Brittany "She needs me to take it to her"

Brittany pulled back with a whine "What right now?"

"Sorry baby, she'll get into trouble if I don't" Santana looked into her girlfriend's eyes hoping she was able to convey her regret through them

Brittany sighed lightly, she obviously didn't want Rachel to get into trouble despite the ill timing of her emergency so she nodded "Ok, but I wanna come too, I don't wanna be here alone"

"Sure thing" Santana nodded accepting the compromise and Brittany rolled off her to find her shirt while Santana went off to Rachel's room to find the assignment. She entered the empty room and looked around, the room smelt just like Rachel and Santana smiled at the familiar aroma. She had always loved the way Rachel smelt, whether it was her shampoo or perfume it didn't matter she always liked it. Santana stared at Rachel's bed for a few seconds, the same bed she had been on several times when having secret relations with the brunette behind her girlfriend's back, the thought alone made a lump appear in her throat, a lump she quickly swallowed and tried to forget about. She shook her head and walked up to Rachel's desk where she found what she was looking for; she picked up the assignment and hastily left Rachel's room.

"Got it?" she heard Britt ask as she closed Rachel's bedroom door. Santana turned to the blond and nodded holding up Rachel's work and waving it a little "Ok then let's go save the day" Brittany giggled leaning in to press a quick kiss to Santana's stiff unmoving lips

_Back in Hell…I mean Cassandra's dance class:_

Rachel and her fellow 'worthless two left footed monkeys' (Cassandras words not her own) were attempting to mimic Miss July's moves as she danced gracefully around the room, throwing rude unnecessary insults to whoever she felt like knocking down a peg, despite the fact they were preforming the dance moves with as much precision as herself. "God you are awful, all of you. I've seen better determination in a room full of sloths and they're more attractive too!" she screamed. Most of the class started muttering under their breath and cursing secretly at their teacher, she had already kicked two students out of the class, one for falling over and the other for well even he wasn't sure why he got kicked out but from what everyone picked up on it was something to do with his shaky legs.

"You know what? You're all making me sick just looking at you, I need a break. Everyone refresh and give yourself a slap in the face for being so bad. I'll be back in five" she said before leaving the class

The whole class let out a huge sigh of relief and a string of cuss words when she was out of ear shot. Rachel stretched her body and went over to grab her bottle of water in her bag taking a big sip; she still had a whole day of this torture.

Santana and Brittany made their way up to the class Rachel had mentioned on oh so many occasions, Santana felt like she had been here before from the detailed descriptions the diva would often recite to her on a weekly basis. They quickly found the right class and poked their heads around, they didn't see any sign of a teacher and all the students looked like they were on a break.

Santana noticed Rachel over in the corner so she walked into the class along with Brittany who was currently holding her hand. Santana soon dropped the blond's hand when eyes started to land on her and she got closer to Rachel "Rach" she hushed

Rachel turned around to see the girls, she smiled knowing Santana had literally just saved her ass "Oh my god thank you so much Santana, I totally owe you" she hugged the Latina without really thinking about it, awkwardness only setting in once the embrace was broken.

"No problem, anytime" Santana replied handing over the assignment. The two brunettes smiled at one another before they were interrupted by an excited Brittany

"Wow this place looks awesome" she grinned widely loving the whole dance atmosphere, she'd love to apply to be in a place like this but she didn't think she was smart enough to get in

"Who are your friends Schwimmer?" the three girls turned around to see Cassie step back into the room, clearly rather pissed that her students were inviting their friends into her class

'Schwimmer?' Santana mouthed at Rachel who just shrugged her shoulders and the Latina turned her attention to the blond woman. Santana's eyes raked over Cassie's body, partly checking out the strangely attractive woman but mostly judging her like she had judged Rachel on many occasions, something in which she didn't take too kindly to. Santana had heard all about this infamous Cassie July and so to finally get to see her was rather thrilling. She couldn't be as bad as Rachel said she is surely? Santana had dealt with years of Sue Sylvester; she could definitely stand this Sue 2.0

Santana composed herself and stood up straight ready to take whatever the Kate Hudson 'look alike' had to throw at her, Brittany on the other hand just hid behind her girlfriend, gripping her arm tightly. Rachel hid her assignment not wanting Cassie to know that was the reason her friends were here in the first place

Cassie reached the three girls, her eyes running over both of the new bodies in her class and quirking an eyebrow at Rachel "These are my friends; this is Santana and her gir… Brittany" Rachel stopped herself from continuing, not really aware if she was protecting Santana from any homophobic slurs Cassie may have had in her back pocket or protecting herself from having to say the girl she was in love with had a girlfriend, a girlfriend who happened to be a very close friend of hers

Cassie glared down at the Latina, she looked deep into her eyes as Santana stared back, the whole class turned to watched the intense staring contest the two women seemed to be having. Rachel could sense the situation could get out of hand at any moment but she was too fearful to speak up right now. Brittany's nails dug deeper into Santana's arm yet Santana didn't flinch. It was almost as if Cassie was searching for something within Santana's eyes and it didn't take long until she found what she was looking for, without breaking eye contact Cassandra gave a half smirk. Her whole body radiating confidence, something that Santana didn't like, it made her feel intimidated knowing Cassie could read her in a way no one else could, maybe it was because Cassie was a top bitch, or maybe it was just down to the fact both Cassie and Santana were alike in many ways but whatever it was Santana wasn't gonna stick around to find out "We were just leaving" Santana broke the intensity with a single blink and took Brittany's hand in hers "Come on babe"

Cassie chuckled as Santana tried to pass her "Nonsense, now you're here you might as well stay, watch a dance or two" Cassie suggested but it wasn't in a tone that a normal person would use, it was more of a challenge, and Santana Lopez _never_ backed down from a challenge

Santana looked back at Cassie then to Rachel then finally Brittany who seemed to be bouncing up and down with excitement of having the chance to watch Rachel dance. Cassandra eyed Santana and then eyed Rachel, she was picking up on something between them and she knew she wanted to play with it, after all she loved to make her students' lives miserable especially one like Rachel, a girl who was definitely going to be bigger than Cassie ever was. Plus Cassandra didn't really like the attitude of the Latina either, yes she was very similar to herself but there could only be one of her right? "In fact Schwimmer why don't you come up here and dance with me and show your friends just what you can do" it was more of a demand than an offer and Rachel knew it

Rachel looked around at her fellow dance class members and over to her two friends, at first she thought Cassie was using this as an attempt to humiliate her further but if she denied the order it would only have even worse effects for her time at NYADA "Sure" she said hesitantly

Cassandra stepped into the centre of the class; Rachel shyly following behind "Ok class, gather around to watch me and little Miss Schwimmer here preform the sexy tango" she positioned herself for Rachel to take her hand. Brittany pulled Santana over to the side of the room where they had a good view but would be out of the way

Santana watched as Rachel and Cassandra linked hands. Rachel seemed nervous something Santana didn't fail to pick up on, it made her feel kinda angry that this woman had that effect on Rachel. That her own teacher would cause her such insecurities over her talent and to insult her while doing so nonetheless. Then again Santana wasn't exactly known for making Rachel feel all that good recently. Cassandra gestured for some music and some kid by the piano pressed play on the stereo, a sexy tune perfect for an intimate tango started up. Cassie reached around to hold on to Rachel's hip and pull the smaller girl against her, Santana's brows lowered to a frown when the blond woman smirked over at her and gave her wink, _'what the fuck was that about?' _

Rachel attempted to hold on to Cassie as the two began to slowly dance in front of everyone, swinging and swaying around the room, the students all smiling and Brittany grinning widely. The only person who didn't seem to be enjoying herself was Santana, she glared at the pair watching intently as the teacher's hands slipped lower than they needed. Santana began gritting her teeth when Cassie sent her another teasing smirk. The Latina just smiled and tried to ignore it but she knew the woman was trying to wind her up and it was working quickly.

The dance didn't seem to be near ending as Rachel tried to keep up, she was proud of herself for so far managing to stay in time with her much more 'experienced' teacher. Santana tried not to let the closeness get to her they were just dancing as all but it was hard watching them and she didn't really know why, all she knew was she was kinda feeling jealous, but why? It wasn't like Rachel was her girlfriend or anything, she put it down to the fact Rachel was her friend and Cassie was abusing her position to get to the Latina. Yeah that must be it.

She had only just met this woman but she already hated her with every fibre of her being. How dare she dance with Rachel? How dare she put her hands all over Rachel's body like it was perfectly ok? How dare she attempt to piss of Santana and jump to the conclusion there was more between the brunette girls than just friendship? And how fucking dare she make Rachel's life hell when Rachel was the kindest, sweetest and most forgiving girl she knew?

With her fists clenched and her jaw shut tight Santana locked eyes with Cassandra one more time, just as the blond woman's hand gripped Rachel's ass. If Santana didn't know any better she would have sworn those two had a whole load of unresolved sexual tension._ 'She shouldn't be touching her like that, only I should be touching her like that!' _Santana's thoughts growled at her

Santana quickly stood up "Ok that's enough. Stop!" she shouted above the music which was then cut off

Cassandra and Rachel stopped dancing and looked over at the girl, along with all other pairs of eyes in the room. The blond woman smirking yet again knowing she had won "Oh I'm sorry Maria is this getting to you?" she asked confidently and gestured to her and her student

Santana took a few steps forward angered by the woman's clear stereotyping nickname "I just think its inappropriate and besides you sucked" Santana hissed, her own smirk making itself known on her face as she watched Miss July's eyes widen slightly from the attack

"Well then Latin Dorothy do you think you can do better? Why don't you take over?" Cassandra asked, far too overjoyed at the idea

Santana raised a brow at the thought though she wanted the chance to show the bitch what she's got "You want me to dance with Rachel?" she asked knowing this was _exactly_ what the woman wanted, but she was Santana Lopez she could do _anything_. Plus she could totally control herself even if she was pressed up against Rachel's sexy body while they were dancing and grinding against each other as they performed one of the sexiest dances around.

Cassandra stepped away from Rachel leaving her looking lonely in the middle as she made her way over to the challenging teen "Unless there's a problem?" she smirked

Santana rose to the challenge "Nope, no problem" she said looking back at her girlfriend who was still smiling

"Go for it baby" Brittany encouraged and Santana nodded making her way over to Rachel who gave her a tentative smile

Santana readied her hand for Rachel to take but the diva hesitated "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Rachel whispered to Santana knowing that when they were in close contact like this it usually led to clothes being thrown off and fingers being overly exercised. But that wasn't likely to happen with everyone including Santana's girlfriend watching them right?

Santana looked into Rachel's eyes hoping to show her everything would be ok, this was the most intimate they had been since Brittany and Kurt had arrived. "Is there really a choice?" Santana countered, this was something Santana didn't want to cower away from, she knew she could do this; she just had to be careful

"Less talking and suspicious whispering, more dancing. Hit it!" Cassie called and pointed to the boy in control of the music, the music from before instantly blaring back around the room continuing from where it had been cut off before

Rachel took Santana's hand and the Latina put her free hand on Rachel's waist, deliberately placing it higher than the girl's teacher had done. She gently pulled Rachel in closer but still kept a slight distance between them. Santana and Rachel began to dance together, the whole class had their eyes fixed on the pair as they moved across the floor. Santana tried to remember all the dancing she had learned from glee club and everything Brittany had taught her as she led Rachel.

The two girls slowly grew closer as the dance went on, their eyes locked and bodies pressed tight against the other. Santana could feel Rachel's hot breath on her neck; just being this close to Rachel in such a way was doing something to her body. Her skin began to sweat and her breath deepened as Rachel moved her hand along her body, her own hand absentmindedly slipping lower to grip the top of Rachel's ass, still not quite as low as Cassandra's had sunk but nonetheless too low for comfort. Rachel must have sensed this but she didn't try to stop her as she just gave her an awkward and worried look.

Cassie watched on with pride, she could see the Latina physically sweating from the encounter,_ 'that will teach her for bursting into my class without my permission' _Cassie smirked looking over at the blond girl she assumed was the Latina's girlfriend. Brittany's face was slightly sunk; it almost looked as though she was just as jealous of Santana dancing with Rachel as Santana was with Rachel dancing with her teacher.

The music was coming to an end as the girls continued to dance, not taking their eyes off each other's bodies. Santana could feel the familiar feeling of arousal begin to take control of her, her face was mere inches from Rachel's, all she had to do is lean in just that little bit more and she could be kissing Rachel. She could end this torture, end the lies, the secrets, the frustration but she just couldn't, the music had finished by the time Santana realised what she was thinking. The class was silent as the two girls finished the dance with Rachel swinging her leg around the Latina's in an almost professional way just to give Cassandra something to think about.

The pair stood in the middle of the room, breathing heavily as they tried to recover from the exhausting dance. Santana's eyes looked deep into Rachel's, their faces still so close yet so far. Santana didn't know what to do when she felt an increasing throb between her legs, but luckily for her she didn't get far enough to give it a second thought when Cassie interrupted with a lifeless most likely fake clap

"Well, well, well who'd have known Maria has skills" Santana quickly jerked away from Rachel almost dropping her as the smaller girl's legs had become weak through the performance. Santana looked over at Cassie sending her a glare, not really caring she proved the woman wrong about her dancing skills "Might I say girls you two were so good I actually believed you have some sort of sexual tension, very interesting" she smirked

"What can I say I'm a natural" Santana barked back

The blond woman placed her hand on her chin and pretended to think "Natural wasn't the word I was searching for…_erotic_ may be a better one" Cassie didn't get chance to laugh before Santana was already walking away from the scene

"Fuck you lady!" Santana spat, not liking the way this woman worked, maybe she _was_ worse than Sue after all. The angry girl's features softened when she looked over at her girlfriend "Come on Britt, let's go home"

The two girls left without another word and Cassie looked at Rachel "I'm sorry Schwimmer, was that a little too _intimate_ for you? You might wanna be a bit more careful with whom you invite into your life"

Rachel stared at her teacher slightly shocked "But how did you-"

"Oh come on Rachel, you're not that hard to figure out. In fact you're pretty simple to be honest, plus I'm a bitch that's what I do. But you really should be careful that blond girl seemed nice" Cassie shrugged at Rachel and loudly clapped her hands at the rest of her students "Now enough with the lesbian love triangles back to dancing!"

When Santana and Brittany got home the pair was instantly lip locked, Santana was horny and Brittany knew it, though she didn't bother to question why. Plus their morning sexytimes were interrupted by Rachel's phone call and Brittany just wanted to get right back into it.

"You were so hot dancing San, I kept wishing it was me up there. Like when we did Whitney together" Brittany said as Santana kissed down the blond's neck. Both girls walked to whichever surface they could find quickly, which just so happened to be the kitchen table. Brittany's butt hit the edge of the table and Santana hoisted the girl up on it.

Brittany spread her legs for Santana to fit in between them, their lips joining again and Santana's hand slipped up Brittany's shirt to squeeze roughly at a breast. Santana kept her eyes closed as much as she could; she knew this was with Brittany but a part of her believed it was somebody else, the same somebody who had turned her on in the first place. A tear rolled down her cheek knowing that person wasn't her girlfriend this time round. She wiped the tear away before Brittany could see it and pushed her hand down Brittany's pants, quickly slipping under her panties to find light curls and sticky wetness

"Fuck Britt, so wet" she gasped into Brittany's neck as she sucked on the skin there. She bit down until Brittany whimpered, realising she may have used too much force she soothed the bite with her tongue as she pushed two fingers into the blond

"Santana!" she gasped, Santana was kind of hurting her but at the same time she was loving it. She was soaked true but it wouldn't have hurt to have been worked up a little more before her girlfriend penetrated her. Santana rarely got rough with her in fear of hurting the girl but when she did it turned Brittany on beyond belief "Go fast San, fuck me" she ordered

Santana moaned into her girlfriend's neck, she started to slide her fingers in and out of Brittany, picking up her pace with each thrust. She pressed her hips against the blond making sure her core was against Brittany's leg so she could get friction and pleasure too. "Fuck Britt, you're so tight like this" Santana panted, she used her free hand to push Brittany's other thigh away to open her up more, allowing her fingers to have better access to her hot wet entrance.

Brittany's hand tangled in Santana's hair as the pleasure built inside her she didn't know what had come over her girlfriend but she loved it. Santana was fucking her so good it hurt but she didn't want it to stop she knew her orgasm was gonna be so powerful and intense.

Santana didn't really know what she was doing either, all she knew was she was _pissed_, so fucking pissed. _'How the fuck could Rachel dance with that woman and let her hands wander all over her body like that?' _Santana was pissed Rachel had done that to her, made her watch in that way. She didn't care whether she had been honest with Rachel about her feelings and she didn't give a damn that she had been basically doing the same thing with Brittany. Rachel _knew_ Santana liked her in one way or another and that's all Santana could think of. Ok so it wasn't Rachel's idea and Rachel probably had no idea Santana was completely jealous having to watch her dance with the blond woman but she still couldn't help the anger that was boiling up inside her. The anger she needed to release in the best way she knew how

"I'm close San!" Brittany gasped in her ear, the hot breath bringing her back from her thoughts. She wasn't with Rachel, Rachel wasn't her girlfriend so why was she thinking about her so much? Why was she getting jealous watching her with someone else even when it wasn't intentionally sexual? (Well on Rachel's end at least) Why the fuck was she thinking about Rachel when she was buried knuckle deep in her hot girlfriend that she was supposedly in love with? Why? Just why? "Fuck" Brittany cursed heatedly as she came around Santana's painfully thrusting fingers

Santana didn't stop pushing in and out of Brittany even after the blond had come down from her orgasm, the Latina needed her own release and she needed it now. She pushed her hips against Brittany's leg once more containing to rub herself against it. She was on the edge of her own orgasm and all she could think about was Rachel. Her fingers still moving inside Brittany as she fucked herself against the girl. "San stop its starting to hurt" Brittany whimpered in her ear to only be ignored or unheard she wasn't sure

She tried to close her legs and trap Santana's hand but the attempt was useless as the Latina forced her thigh back with her free hand "Stop moving" Santana panted into Brittany's sweaty neck. Her voice almost sounded angry thus scaring Brittany and forcing her to just let the girl do what she wanted and wait until she was done. She guessed it was fair for Santana to reach orgasm too but she didn't want to come again herself so she wished Santana's fingers would just still inside her as she did so.

"San you're scaring me baby, please" Brittany begged, tears creeping up in her eyes, she knew Santana must have been beyond turned on right now as she only ever got like this when she was desperately seeking an orgasm

"Britt I'm almost there just hang on" Santana assured her, and to the blond's delight she pulled her fingers free from her wetness and used both hands to grip on to Brittany's hips. Her face was still buried into Brittany's neck as she continued to thrust her own hips against the girl's thigh. "Oh fuck, fucking hell Britt" she grunted as she was hit with a powerful orgasm and came in her underwear, soaking them. She held her girlfriend close as she rode it out on the thigh between her legs.

Santana stayed still for several seconds as she recovered, her whole body felt hot and she could feel the heat coming off of Brittany's too. She manoeuvred herself on her girlfriend's thigh most likely trying to find a comfortable way of standing with the wetness in her underwear but she didn't move off of it.

Once her breathing had finally calmed down she looked up into Brittany's eyes, seeing the fright and the sadness in the cool blue mixed with a hint of concern "San?"

"I'm so freaking sorry Britt. I just really needed that" Santana said genuinely regretful over getting too rough and aggressive with her girlfriend

Brittany gave her a sympatric smile though tears threatened to fill her eyes and cupped Santana's overheated cheek "It's ok baby, it was just a little painful after…you know" she said quietly

"I know I'm really sorry I can't believe I did that" Santana pulled Brittany in for a gentle apologetic hug

"Oh my eyes!" both girls' heads sprang over to the kitchen door where they saw Kurt standing there with shopping bags in his hands, wide eyes and a horrified expression. He could guess what they had been doing from the positions they were in; Brittany with her legs open on the kitchen table (in which they eat on) and Santana in between them pressing herself against Brittany's thigh, faces blushed and both still recovering from the exhaustion.

Santana took a quick step back from Brittany after releasing her from the hug Santana looked at her feet as if she was ashamed to have been caught again, most likely though she just knew Kurt would give her crap for doing it on the kitchen table "Seriously Santana again?" he reprimanded, his brow furrowing at the sight of the two girls

Something inside Santana snapped at that point. She didn't really know what it was, all she knew was she was sick and tired of everything in her life seeming to be so complicated. So she decided she just needed a break, even if it was for a couple of hours at least.

"Whatever Kurt, I don't need this" Santana stated in frustration and anger as she pushed past him, walked out the kitchen and quickly leaving the apartment with a slam of the front door

Brittany and Kurt just looked at each other both confused about the Latina's reaction, though one slightly more aware of her reasoning than the other. Brittany just shrugged her shoulders putting it down to Santana feeling bad about what had happened between them while Kurt gave her a sympathetic smile and made his way to Rachel's room to drop of his bags.

Santana didn't get home until later that night about three hours after her storm out. Brittany had texted her but Santana had ignored the texts, Brittany had tried to call her but she just declined the calls. Even Kurt and Rachel attempted to call her once each but she didn't pick up. If she was old enough she would have gone to a bar to drink this feeling away and try to forget about what she had done to Brittany. She regretted getting so rough with her and wished she could take it back, but worse of all she regretted thinking about Rachel while she was with Brittany at all. It wasn't right and she knew it but she just couldn't stop herself no matter how hard she tried. She has all these emotions from anger and regret to jealousy and she just couldn't work out what she was meant to do with them.

Eventually Brittany had stopped calling her and left her a final message saying she hoped she was ok and that she was gonna go to bed and hope she would wake up with her girl in the morning. Santana had spent the last three hours crying over her feelings and she _still_ couldn't figure them out. She had no idea what she wanted, one minute she was thinking about Brittany and so she should as the blond was her girlfriend but the next it was Rachel, that was all she could think about was the tiny brunette and the feeling she had felt when she saw her dancing with Cassandra.

Santana had gone and sat inside a church she knew was mostly empty. She wasn't religious but she just needed to be somewhere where people wouldn't sit and stare at her so that ruled out central park. She didn't wanna be around people or cars or noise or life, she just needed to be alone. But she had to go home sometime and right now she really missed that home being Lima. She decided to make her way back to the apartment.

When she got in she tried to be as quiet as possible, she made sure to wipe all her tear stains away so nobody would question her. When she shut the door with a soft click and turned around she was met with Rachel in her bedroom doorway most likely waiting for her. The smaller girl had changed out of her dance gear now that class was finally over and clearly showered too. Most of the lights were off and Rachel looked just as confused as Santana currently was. Santana guessed Kurt had gone back out as he didn't seem to be around. "Is Brittany sleeping?" Santana asked, it was still early but the blond just wanted to do something until her girlfriend came back and sleeping was the only thing she could think of to pass the time

"I think so" Rachel replied her voice sounding broken.

Santana didn't make eye contact with the diva as she tried to walk past her and reach her own room but a small hand reached out to grab her and stop her in her tracks. "Santana can I talk to you please?" she asked

"Do we have to?" Santana sighed

"Yes we do" Rachel stated forcefully, sounding a little angry

"Fine" Santana replied having to grit her teeth and followed Rachel into her room. She watched as the diva closed the door, making sure they wouldn't be overheard if anyone was eavesdropping "What is it?"

"You seriously don't know? What the fuck happened today?" Rachel asked she walked over to her bed and sat down and Santana soon joined her

"I don't know what you're talking about Rachel"

"Oh don't give me that crap Santana. You were acting like a jealous girlfriend in my dance class today" the girl explained

"That's bullshit Rachel of course I'm not jealous why would I be? I just didn't like the way that Cassandra chick was all over you, it wasn't right. I was just being a friend and looking out for you"

"Oh please San, being a friend? Just like you've been the past week, having sex with Brittany all over the apartment and right in front of my eyes. On the couch that we share and the kitchen fucking table that we eat on. I mean god sake Santana do you hate me that much you just want me to suffer? You said you wanted this" Rachel reminded

"Fuck I do want this Rachel, and of course I don't hate you" Santana frantically assured

"Then why have you been so hot and cold recently? I don't understand what you want from me Santana" Rachel looked Santana deep in the eyes pleading for her to say something that could just relax the horrible feeling in her chest

Santana sat there silent; she didn't know what to say. She didn't really know what exactly she wanted from Rachel so how could she answer that.

"This can't keep happening San. I don't want to stop what we have together but this is hard for me and the way you've been treating me recently I'm not gonna put up with it"

"Rachel I'm sorry I don't know what all that was about in class today. Something just snapped inside me when I was watching you dance"

Rachel gave an unamused chuckle "Yeah it was called getting jealous Santana why can't you just admit that?"

"I _wasn't_ fucking jealous Rachel! I don't care what you do with whoever you're doing it with" Santana practically yelled becoming frustrated all over again

"I don't believe you"

"Believe what you want Rachel, I don't care"

"Is that why you have such double standards between us? I mean its ok for you to flirt and fornicate all over the fucking place and right in front of my eyes when you know exactly how I feel about you, about this, about us. But as soon as I even look at someone, who by the way I'd never sleep with let alone date, you suddenly get all possessive and suddenly it's all my fault. Well guess what Santana? I'm not gonna let you treat me like this. I'm not you're girlfriend and you can't control me. You have a girlfriend remember and her name is Brittany and currently she's lying in your bed waiting for you after crying on my shoulder for a full hour when I got home because you left her after acting weird" Rachel informed clearly pissed off with the girl in front of her and her behaviour

Santana again fell silent her eyes darting down to her hands as she thought about all the wrongs she had done today

"It was your choice to stay with Brittany I didn't force you and I wouldn't force you to break up with her either but you can't keep having it both ways. I really, _really_ like you Santana and I can't just turn that off and I don't want to stop liking you but at the same time I wish I could just forget you and what you do to me and how you make me feel inside and outside. You are who I want Santana don't you get that? But not like this" Rachel was almost crying now

Santana looked back into Rachel's eyes, something took over her and before she knew it she was leaning in and kissing Rachel, her lips pressed against Rachel's stiff ones but it didn't take long before the diva was kissing back. Santana's hand instantly grabbing Rachel's breast through her shirt and squeezing as she slipped her tongue into the other girl's mouth causing Rachel to moan out as she got lost in Santana's touch.

"San" Rachel whispered as the taller girl kept kissing her. She tried pushing Santana away but her arms were weak from the feeling of Santana's palm caressing her chest. The heat between them was making Rachel's head swim but she couldn't do this, not now, despite the fact her own body was screaming to just let go and let it happen like it had all those times before. Santana tried to push Rachel down on to her back but she stayed upright "Santana no, stop" she quietly insisted pushing the girl on the shoulders breaking their kiss "Brittany is in the other room" she reminded as if she had to

Santana panted "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me"

"If you need intimacy then that's something you do with your girlfriend" Rachel said coldly shifting away from Santana on the bed

"Rachel I'm so sor-"

"It's ok. Just go" Rachel turned away from the girl on her bed

Santana decided not to say anything else; she had already done enough for tonight. She reluctantly got up from the bed and walked out of Rachel's room throwing back a last glance at the girl that refused to look back at her "Night Rachel" she whispered so quietly she didn't even think the girl heard her and she was glad because she didn't want to hear how broken and hurt Rachel's voice would have been had she replied

Once her door was shut Rachel flopped down on her bed, she finally let her tears fall freely and let her barriers down. She knew full well that no matter how much she wanted to she couldn't just stop being with Santana. She had gone almost two weeks without sleeping with the Latina and that thought alone was killing her, but on top of that she knew she just couldn't be with the girl in the way she wants to be with her. But why couldn't she just let go? Because love isn't easy that's why

Santana walked into her own bedroom and flicked on the lights, forgetting Brittany was asleep, the blond girl rolled over in bed to face her "Sorry Britt I didn't mean to wake you"

Brittany smiled, she was just happy to see her girlfriend "You didn't, I couldn't, not without you" Santana sat down on the bed looking very sorry for herself and for Brittany "How's Rachel?"

Santana didn't really know why Britt was asking about Rachel but she just answered with a shrug "She's fine" she knew Rachel wasn't fine but what else could she say?

Santana looked at Brittany who was smiling sweetly, "I love you Brittany"

The blond smiled "I love you too even though you really are weird sometimes, but I guess that's what I love most about you" she took Santana's hand in hers

Santana took this as an opportunity to shuffle closer to Brittany. She leaned in to give the girl a gentle kiss but as Brittany was about to pull back she used her other hand to hold the back of the blond's neck and keep her in place as she tried to deepen the kiss. Brittany didn't complain but she could see where this was going and though she didn't mind she did have something else on her mind right now "San we should talk about earlier" she insisted as she pushed Santana back

Santana huffed she'd done enough talking she just wanted to forget everything for tonight and spend it intimately with her girlfriend "No Britt I don't want to talk, I wanna fuck" she whined but instantly regretted her choice of words and tone

"Santana what's wrong with you why are you acting like this? It's like we're just fuck buddies again" Brittany voiced her disappointment

"I'm sorry baby. Nothing's wrong, stop asking me ok I just need you right now. Please"

"Well at least you still remember your manners" the blond said crossing her arms clearly rather annoyed

"I'm sorry Britt, can you forgive me?"

If it wasn't for the fact she was crazy in love with Santana she may have given the girl the silent treatment but she just couldn't resist that body. "Take off your shirt" Brittany smirked

Santana didn't hesitant to follow orders. She threw her shirt off and attacked Brittany's lips with hers once again, hands travelled all over soft smooth skin. Brittany gasped when Santana's pinched her nipple through her shirt

She giggled, Santana was usually frisky but this was a new record even for her. She had started to lose count of how many times they had made love over her stay so far "Jeeze San calm down. What's gotten into you?"

"You hopefully" Santana replied smugly pulling her lips away from Brittany's skin to gasp the two words out

Britt put her hands on Santana's shoulder to hold her off of her for a few seconds while she caught her breath again "God I know we went awhile without doing it but ever since I got here you've been so horny" not that she minded of course

"Can you blame me, I miss you when you're not around baby" Santana attempted to lean in again this time Brittany put a finger to her lips to halt her movements

"I know and I miss you too, but we can slow down. We're supposed to be making love not just fucking anymore" Brittany said as if her girlfriend's mind needed refreshing

Santana sighed knowing Brittany was right she shouldn't be rushing this, she didn't _need _to rush this, and it wasn't just about getting off anymore it was about being together. "Fine I'm sorry. I'll go slower" she promised with a smile looking down at Brittany

"Thank you and please stop apologising. Now just kiss me and make love to me" she pulled the Latina down on top of her smashing their lips together perfectly as bodies fitted like pieces of puzzles and fingers found familiar safe wetness. And for the next couple of hours moans and gasps of pleasure and words of love and encouragement were practically shouted out in their act of temporary love and passion.

**A/N: ****So I bet you hate Santana now right? Please don't, I have to be honest and say I don't because we all know how she really feels even if she is going about it all wrong. Don't hate her just let her learn. I was gonna write the whole Brittana love making scene at the end but decided against leaving it there, there was definitely enough Brittana sex in that chapter plus I know you guys just wanna get to the Pezberry already and I can tease you that the next chapter will for sure have some Pezberry…intimacy shall we say haha.**

**And don't worry if you think we didn't see enough jello Sanny, well then we'll be seeing a lot more of her in the future chapters especially when Rachel starts to show interest in others. Let's just say Rachel will definitely be trying to move on though clearly she loves Santana so it will be hard and so she will be doing things that will get Santana to realise her true feelings. **

**Ok so for the last few chapters my reviews have been 10 then 11 then 12, 13 and 15 for the last, let's see if we can get 16 for this one that would be cool or more I wouldn't complain lol. Come on guys I know you want to, jealous Santana deserves her acknowledgement and she would like to thank you all for reading. **

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter, leave your reviews :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 8

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Brittana (Santana/ Brittany)

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ****OK first thanks for all the good feedback and for those who are now following me on twitter too. I have to admit I like the way this story is going so I'm glad most of you like it too. Sorry I couldn't reply to all but I do appreciate each and every one, I got so many reviews for the last chapter it was incredible love all of you.**

**A/N 2****: Next to answer your burning questions and concerns. I have to admit I feel a bit like Ryan Murphy right now. I have an idea in my head where the start is good, the end is good but the middle is rocky because that's where the drama comes in yet we have to sit through the bad to get to the good. I'm glad this story is causing a lot of emotion both good and bad but when I started writing it I didn't promise it would be all rainbows, I mean it started with a drunk Rachel so obviously it was gonna have its downs too. Most of you find Santana to be right ass right now and I get it, she is I guess but at the same time I want to assure you it's gonna get better. I'm not planning on breaking Brittana up just yet because I like to add to drama because that's what I do but I can tell you Santana is gonna realise her true feelings very soon, in fact in this chapter she sees a little light. So please give it a chance to get better, once Brittany leaves back for Lima Santana won't have anything to hide behind and things will progress a lot. Like some of you picked up on Santana is becoming less into Britt and more into Rachel, this story will have more drama but like it said a few chapters ago it is a Pezberry story so expect Pezberry to find a way. **

**As for your biggest burning question YES Brittany WILL find out about the affair, but I'm not gonna tell you how or when. All I'll say is she will find out the only way I think is appropriate but it won't be just yet because that all adds to the drama. But she will slap someone, but who that someone is you'll have to wait and see when we get there.**

**Anyway Thank you to those of you who think their relationships and characters are written correctly I am trying to do both canon with a little bit of how I think they could be too. And I do apologise for being so MIA recently I will try to update this story quicker and hope you guys enjoy it till the end. I also apologise for my long ANs I just think it's easier to tell everyone rather than people individually, but feel free to PM or tweet me if there's something you wanna know personally. Ok hope that answered everything and on with the story…**

"_Oh god Britt" Santana groaned. She looked down between her legs to see the familiar blond hair bobbin up and down between her legs_._ She stared up at the ceiling in the dim lit room as the intense pleasure built up in her lower half._

_Her fingers tangled easily in the silky hair as she pushed the girl's face in closer to her core begging for relief. The girl pulled back from the touching and began to kiss Santana's thighs before kissing a trail of wet gentle kisses up her abs to her breasts and finally resting on her jawline. Small hands taking over between her legs as two fingers found their way inside her._

"_Oh fuck, I'm so close" the face buried into her neck smirked from the reaction, kissing softly and whispering ever so delicately into her ear as she continued to work her fingers inside Santana's tight entrance. _

"_You like what I'm doing to you baby?" the voice asked. Santana's eyes cracked open. The voice wasn't what she expected, it didn't sound like Brittany. Santana was too close to the edge to care who it was. _

_Her hips bucked up and her back arched as she came around the fingers that pumped into her at a furious pace. "Holy fuck!" she gasped and the body on top of her pulled back, their eyes locked as the smaller girl forced Santana into a second orgasm "What the fuck…?" _

"Rachel!" Santana's body jolted up, her dream (or nightmare, she wasn't too sure) awakening her whole body. She looked around the room to see she was still in her bedroom, a body moving next to hers

"San?" the sleepy voice asked

Santana turned to the other body to see it was her girlfriend. The blond sat up next to the Latina with a concerned face after seeing how sweaty the girl was. "Britt?" Santana asked like she was almost uncertain if Brittany was real

"I'm here baby" the taller girl rested a hand on her girlfriend's back and began to rub soothing circles to calm her. "Relax it was just a nightmare" she assured

Santana couldn't help but fear if Brittany had heard what she had gasped when waking but as the girl hadn't mentioned it she assumed she had not.

The Latina fumbled for the lamp on the bedside unit and switched it on, she instantly saw how sweaty her plain grey t-shirt was and she was rather surprised by it. But that wasn't the only thing she had soaked through. She wiggled uncomfortably when she realised just how wet her PJ pants were.

Santana groaned in her frustration, the dampness in her pants clearly making her uncomfortable and Brittany soon picked up on it. "San, did you have a sex dream?" she asked almost amused by the fact

Santana sighed loudly but didn't answer her girlfriend instead she began to tug at her sticky sleepwear. Brittany giggled and touched at the wet patch on Santana's crotch "Wow baby I must have been good"

The Latina looked at the blond through the corner of her eye as she felt Brittany's hand rub up and down her clothed thigh "You were" she said softly knowing Brittany wasn't the one who ended her dream only begun it.

"If you're so turned on I can help with that" Brittany stated rather than asked as she tried to reposition herself between Santana's legs, much like the dream she just had.

Santana was quick to push Brittany back "No, no Britt, its ok I'll deal" she replied trying to avoid locking eyes with the girl

Brittany pouted "Aw come on San, there's no way you'll be able to get back to sleep if you're this wet. Just let me help you baby" the blond slipped her fingers into the waistband of Santana's pants and slowly started to tug only to be pushed back once again.

"Britt I said no" Santana knew she was majorly turned on right now, but the thought of letting Brittany pleasure her after she had just dreamt about Rachel doing the same thing was just a little too much for her to think about right now. She knew the wetness between her legs wasn't for Brittany but for her roommate and she assumed it was the guilt that stopped her from taking up her girlfriend's offer which on any other day she would have jumped at the chance to have.

"Sorry Britt I'm just…I'm gonna go get a glass of water to cool down. You go back to sleep ok?" she suggested placing a gentle hand on her girlfriend's arm

Brittany smiled and nodded "Ok but if you change your mind feel free to wake me" she leaned closer to the smaller girl and pressed a kiss to her lips, Santana reluctantly returned the gesture. She waited for Brittany to slip back under the covers and settle back down before she switched off the lamp and got out of bed.

She made her way towards the door stubbing her toe on her bed and cursing in Spanish as she left her dark room. She went straight for the kitchen being sure to be quiet in order not to wake Kurt up in the living room.

Santana filled a glass with water and gulped it down in seconds. She sighed again when she saw the sweat on her shirt in the better light. She wasn't surprised by all this, it wasn't the first time she had had a sex dream about Rachel. In fact she had been having them a lot just recently but this one was much more realistic than the prior ones, never has she woken up with the physically evidence of just how erotic her imagination could be sliding down her thighs.

Her face was flushed and she had a painful throb that just wouldn't go away between her legs. She tried not to think too much about the dreams she was having, after all it's not like you can really control what you dream about right? But she knew dreams were something to do with the mind and what your subconscious wanted in life.

She filled her glass again before drinking it down, she couldn't remember the last time she had ever dreamt about Brittany in that way, she didn't know whether to read anything into that or not. _People have sex dreams all the time right? It's not unusual to even dream about your friends on occasions_ she told herself. The only thing that was slightly odd was the fact she really wanted the reoccurring dream to be real

She hadn't had sex with Rachel since before Brittany and Kurt arrived in New York and there was a part of her that was proud of the fact she managed to keep it in her pants. But another part of her really just wanted to burst into Rachel's room and take her against the wall until the diva passed out from pleasure.

Santana shook her head, the memory of their shower sex flooding back to her, quite literally when she felt another throb between her thighs "Oh god" she muttered to herself knowing Brittany was right, there was no way in hell she could fall back to sleep when she was this aroused, but she didn't want to ask Brittany for help and there was no way she could ask Rachel, not after their kiss.

_Oh god the kiss, _it only happened a couple of days ago and yet they hadn't spoke about it since, nor had they mentioned Santana's jealousy over Cassandra again. Santana didn't want to admit she was jealous, no she was too stubborn for that but she knew everything Rachel had said was true. She knew she was jealous, she knew she had been treating Rachel like crap and having double standards over their relationships, and she definitely knew she had feelings for Rachel that went beyond friendship.

She didn't want to say anything out loud but she couldn't keep denying it, there was a feeling inside her that she couldn't explain but she knew it existed for Rachel. But she had a girlfriend and she loved Brittany and wasn't supposed to be feeling things for someone else if she was in a committed relationship. She wasn't just gonna give her up for a girl she had a 'feeling' for. These were the thoughts that ran through Santana's mind each and every time she felt like touching Rachel, or kissing her. It was wrong, Rachel was wrong but Brittany, she was right. She just had to try and remember that.

Rachel started as a sex thing; they were a way to cure each other's urges. Rachel wanted emotion and Santana needed something physical. Santana was always the one to play it cool and not let feelings get in the way. But maybe somewhere along the rocky road she let herself slip up and forget that. It had happened once before with Brittany and now maybe, just maybe it might have happened again with Rachel. She had lost at her own game and she knew it.

There was no pretending her feelings for Rachel and Brittany were the same as they used to be, she knew they had changed, she just wasn't ready to do anything about it. Whether it was fear or pride that stopped her she didn't really know, maybe both, most likely both.

"Fuck" Santana whimpered as she slipped her own had down her PJ pants straight to her wetness; she knew it wouldn't take long. She had Brittany but didn't want Brittany right now; she'd rather touch herself then let Brittany touch her tonight. She didn't return to her room until she was satisfied, but even when she thought it was gone the throb never really left.

_A few nights ago…_

When Kurt got home on the night of the kiss he went to say goodnight to Rachel, he found her once again curled up in her bed sheets sobbing madly. She had already filled several tissues with her fallen tears and was well on the way to saturating many more.

The boy instantly could guess what Rachel was crying over; he had never seen the diva like this. The girl he always knew to be so confident and sure of herself had become something he never wanted to see her turn into. He wanted to end this madness but he just didn't know how. He could tell Brittany about the affair and end it all, causing all the girls to figure out what they really want, but that wasn't his place to intervene. All three girls were his close friends and he couldn't watch their relationships with one another crash down around him knowing he was the cause of it. The only thing he could do was be there for Rachel and try to talk some sense into her even if the brunette was so stubborn she refused to listen. She was more like Santana than she knew.

"So she just leaned in and kissed you?" Kurt asked after he finally coaxed Rachel away from her tears to talk like a normal person. Rachel had explained everything that had happened that night while he was out and he couldn't help but think it was so typical Santana. That girl never seemed to really know what she wanted

"She just kissed me while Britt was only in the other room, and I mean you should have seen her today Kurt. I've never seen someone so jealous and she wouldn't even admit it" Rachel wiped at a stray tear falling down her reddened cheek

"So wait where does that leave you two?" Kurt wondered still rather confused over this whole love triangle at the best of times

Rachel was quick to shrug "I don't know honestly. I mean I want to be with her you know that but at the same time her being with Brittany and having to watch them like that it's just tearing me up inside and I feel like I don't wanna be any part of it"

"Look Rachel I know you said you love her and all-"

"I do, I know I do" Rachel nodded confidently, she had always been able to figure out her feelings and she was sure of them this time around

"Ok you love her, I believe you because I've never seen you like this before but I have to say I think you need to back off" Kurt suggested, Rachel immediately gave him a funny look and he was quick to defend himself. "All I'm suggesting is have more respect for yourself girl. Santana is clearly in a very confusing place right now and I'm not saying give up on her but you're Rachel Berry, you shouldn't have to throw yourself at her or take the crap she's handing to you. You're better than that and I know you know that, don't let her treat you that way"

Rachel nodded again "You're right, I'm basically letting her walk all over me, but I just don't know how to stop. I mean one minute I feel like kicking her in the crotch but the next I feel a connection between us like electricity that I've never really felt before, maybe way back when I was with Finn. Like when she was in my dance class and we were doing the tango, I felt it so powerfully then I almost just lost it. I could see the same thing in her eyes too; I know she feels something for me I just know it"

"But she won't admit it. I bet if she admitted it, it would be so much easier for her to deal with the fact that she likes you too. She did the same thing when she first fell in love with Brittany, she knew how she felt deep down inside but she would never just come out and say it but when she finally did, she never looked back"

Rachel looked at her best friend "Exactly but it's not like I can just go up to her and ask, I've tried that and she won't even acknowledge it"

Kurt grew a very familiar glint in his eyes "Maybe I should talk to her. Come on I know what she's going through pretty much and I think maybe it could help if I spoke to her"

"No Kurt you shouldn't have to get involved this is my fucked up life and I should sort it out" Rachel assured

Kurt waved a hand "Nonsense Rachel I know you'd do the same for me, despite the fact you did once try to steal the one guy I had interest in but that's water under the bridge. You're my best friend and I love you and I want to help, plus I love drama" Kurt giggled to help cheer the girl up

"Well I guess it wouldn't hurt to maybe talk to her but don't mention anything too specific, I don't want her to become even more locked away and I definitely don't want her to kill you" Rachel said

Kurt raised his brows like that was an actual thing that could happen and knowing Santana she _would_ try to kill him, or at least castrate him "Don't worry I'll be careful with my words" he reassured

"Thanks Kurt"

"Now stop all this crying and whimpering, you're better than this Rachel"

"I just really like her that's all" Rachel said softly, almost as if she wished she could just forget or change the fact in question

"I know you do honey" Kurt responded just as softly as he wrapped his arm around the diva and brought her in to a tight warm comforting hug, they both soon fell asleep in each other's arms on Rachel's bed.

Present day…

Santana groaned when she awoke at the memory of last night; the dream she had about Rachel and how she had to deal with herself because she was so turned on by it. Her guilt was still hanging over her, not just from the dreams she had been having but about everything. She hated lying and cheating on Brittany, the girl she was meant to love and cherish more than anything else, but she couldn't help the feelings she was having for Rachel. And yes maybe she didn't quite understand what these 'feelings' were exactly but she couldn't keep denying they were present.

"Morning baby" she heard the husky morning voice of her girlfriend. Santana turned her head to see Brittany rubbing her eyes clear of sleep.

"Hey" she replied in a natural tone

"I didn't feel you get back into bed last night, I must have falling right back to sleep after you had done cursing in Spanish" the blond giggled slightly as she sat up

"Oh yeah I hit my toe on the bed" Santana answered, deciding to ignore the comment about her leaving the room

Santana pushed the covers off of her body, her skin still feeling rather sticky from last night. She climbed out of bed "Hey where are you going?" Brittany asked

Santana threw on a clean t-shirt as she turned around to her girlfriend "I was just gonna go make some coffee you stay in bed. You want some?" she asked as she stepped over to her bedroom door

"Sure" Brittany smiled sweetly. Santana was about to open her door when Brittany stopped her "Wait!"

"What is it?" she looked over at the girl still in bed

"Don't I even get a good morning kiss?" Brittany giggled

"Oh" Santana cursed herself for acting so weirdly around Brittany but went back over to the bed, leaned over it and pressed a gently kiss to her girlfriend's lips. Though Brittany tried to hold Santana in for a longer kiss the Latina soon pulled away and without another word she quickly left the room closing her bedroom door behind her.

Santana began to make herself and Brittany coffee when she heard footsteps behind her, she turned her head to see Rachel standing in the door way of the kitchen "You want some coffee?" she asked tentatively.

Rachel stepped further into the kitchen she had been trying her best to avoid the Latina as much as possible over the last few days but it's always hard when they live _with_ you. "No thanks, my skin would punish me with how strong you make it" she joked cursing herself immediately for falling straight back into her old ways of talking to Santana like nothing ever happened between them.

She couldn't really work out if she was meant to feel awkward or not around the taller girl. She watched as Santana went about making coffee, she felt kinda bad when she saw Santana had two mugs ready assuming one was for Brittany. Rachel leaned against the refrigerator knowing Santana would need to get there eventually to finish making coffee.

"Why did you kiss me the other night?" she asked then and there

Santana stopped all movement for a few seconds but started up again once she had begun to speak "I felt like it" Santana sighed and shrugged her shoulders clearly annoyed by the question

Rachel rolled her eyes at the typical Santana-like answer; she should have expected it really. "So you just go around kissing people you feel like kissing?" she wondered obviously not believing Santana for one minute that there wasn't any other intention behind the kiss

Santana turned to Rachel and walked closer to her to get to the fridge but because Rachel was in the way she knew she couldn't get to it "Look Rachel we haven't talked about this since it happened, I have no problem never mentioning it ever again now please move so I can get the milk" she demanded as nicely as she could

"Why can't you just stop being so stubborn over all this?" Rachel asked angrily refusing to step aside

"There's nothing to be stubborn over Rachel I made a mistake now please just fucking get out the way" she growled scaring Rachel slightly from the force of her tone. Santana didn't want to keep getting angry over this and she wished she could just sort it all out somehow without anyone getting hurt but she was starting to get a little pissed off over how her own stupid mistakes seemed to come back to bite her in the ass.

Rachel was quick to move aside when she caught the anger in the Latina's eyes. Santana didn't hesitate to grab the milk from the fridge and finish making her coffee. "Look Rachel I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you and I know you probably hate me for that but I don't know what else you want me to say. The kiss was a mistake and we should just forget it ok?" she half asked half stated as she picked up her drinks and left the kitchen to head back to her own room.

Rachel was left as usual feeling lost, getting less and less out of Santana each time she talked to her was starting to annoy her. Yes she hadn't officially told Santana she loved her or really how she felt about her either but at least she was willing to admit it to Kurt. She bet Santana was raging war in her own head each time she even thought about the diva. Plus Rachel didn't want to go and tell Santana her true feelings to only have them thrown back in her face harshly, she knew if she could get Santana to admit that she had feelings too then she could finally get her own off her chest. Plus if Santana wasn't aware Rachel had some sort of romantic feelings for her then the girl was a moron.

"If only it were that simple" the hurt girl whispered to only herself. How could she just forget something that made her whole body set alight in such an intense way?

The next day…

In the evening Santana was laying on the couch watching some cheap film on TV while Brittany was in the shower. Kurt was in the kitchen sat at the table reading the latest issue of 'Vogue' and of course Rachel was in her room avoiding the world.

When her stomach started to growl at her Santana figured she best get some food, she hadn't eaten all day. So she jumped up and headed into the kitchen. She cracked a snicker at Kurt and his reading material "What's so funny Satan?" he wondered with a questioning raised brow as he watched the hungry girl search through the cupboards for some source of food.

"Nothing it's just…do you _have_ to read that and perpetuate the stereotype even more? Why can't you just read porn like the rest of society" she laughed again as she lost attention in the cupboards and went to see what was in the fridge.

Kurt rolled his eyes and put down his magazine "I don't read Vogue because I'm gay Santana, I read it because I enjoy its contents" he informed her "Now what are you even doing?"

"Looking for something to eat" she responded groaning in frustration

"There's plenty of food around" he stated

"Nothing good and by that I mean there's nothing with a great level of sugar" she sighed when she couldn't find anything she felt like eating and her shoulders slumped "Now what are _you_ doing other than being extremely gay?"

Kurt faked laughed "Damn Satan I will never get tired of your clear homophobic-esque comments, you do know you're gay too right?"

"Yeah but I don't make it so obvious now do I?"

"Actually I wanted to talk to you about something if I may?" Kurt said seriously and stood up

"Yes you should consider auditioning for the role of Gollum from Lord of the Rings" she smirked, proud of her quick witted reply

Kurt gave his second fake laugh of the conversation "Very smart Santana but I actually meant something serious"

Santana began shaking her head "Look if you're gonna start talking to me about your boy junk I don't wanna hear it"

Kurt didn't even respond to her comment, instead he just continued what he was going to say originally "Look Santana I consider us friends even if you don't. I mean we may not be all that close but it's not like I wanna kill you or anything"

"Kurt I'm not really one to get all buddy-buddy so please just get to the point" the girl could already see where this was going and she didn't know whether she was in the mood to hear it or not

"What's going on with you and Rachel?" he asked knowing Brittany was still in the shower but he still tried to whisper

"What are you talking about? Nothing, nothing is going on between me and Rachel. Look I don't know what she's been telling you but she's lying" Santana said defensively

"Is that so? So you and she have never…?" he raised his brow not wanting to finish the sentence

"You know that we have but that doesn't mean anything is going on" the Latina tried to busy herself by playing with the coffee maker next to her

The boy chose his words carefully not wanting to anger the girl "Doesn't sound like nothing to me Santana"

"I don't care what it sounds like, you don't know anything about this Kurt so just stay out of it" Santana frowned at him her voice raising slightly

Kurt took a few steps towards her "I know you like her" he spoke softly knowing it was a touchy subject right now

Santana was silent for a few seconds as she looked at the ground then her head darted up and she locked her fiery eyes with his gentle ones "Why can't you just drop this?"

"Because if you're really in love with Brittany you wouldn't be looking elsewhere and you wouldn't have feelings for someone else" Kurt said confidently but knew he may have went a little too far when Santana grew even more angered and lunged closer to him and slammed him harshly up against the wall

Their eyes never once looked away from each other as Santana gritted her teeth at him and replied "I _do_ love Brittany, but it's not my fault if I like Rachel too. I'm not some switch and I can't just be shut off and forget one of them"

Kurt was kinda surprised by the girl's words; he never really thought he could get Santana to actually say she 'liked' Rachel too. But here she was admitting to the fact that she did indeed harbour some form of feelings towards the girl, even if those feelings were already common knowledge between him and Rachel.

"I just need time to work all this out, but I swear if you ever tell anyone Kurt…" she threatened

Kurt shook his head "Jesus calm down Lopez, I already told you it's not my place"

Santana released her grip on him but still towered over him aggressively "Then why are you making it your place?"

The boy ignored the question but asked one of his own "Are you in love with her?" this was the real question on everyone's mind. Rachel had admitted to him that she was in love with Santana and if he could get Santana to admit it then maybe this situation could be a whole lot easier

But Santana didn't do things the easy way "What?" she asked more out of shock than actual wonder of what he had asked

"Just tell me straight. Yes or no? Are you in love with her?" he repeated

Santana leaned in even closer till their noses where practically touching. She stared deep into his eyes in order to get her message across to the boy "I love _Brittany_ Kurt" she stated simply but with a hiss in her voice

"You didn't answer my question"

"Because it's a stupid question!" Santana growled as she took a step back, she faced the boy wishing she could just disappear or better yet punch him in the face. But she knew she couldn't do that, she wouldn't do that. She wasn't _that_ type of person anymore, Brittany had changed her. But she also hated people getting all up in her grill over her person life and feelings. Why couldn't everyone just leave her alone to figure herself out?

"Then humour me" Kurt shrugged, fearing she would attack him once more

"Fuck off!" she shouted back, her anger boiling up again. She clenched her fists really trying her hardest not to smack the boy who she had to keep reminding herself was her friend and just trying to help her with her emotions towards Rachel, she knew that, she did. But she wasn't ready to admit she needed help with feelings that she was pretending didn't even exist in the first place.

Kurt shook his head; he really couldn't believe the girl could get so defensive when he could see her true feelings. He knew Rachel could see them too because she had mentioned it. As for Brittany he didn't know whether the blond was just too innocent to figure it out, or whether she knew but didn't want to say anything in fear that she was correct. Or maybe Brittany really couldn't see anything, she was so in love with the Latina he couldn't blame her for being so unaware of what was going on between the two brunettes; after all love does leave you blind to the most obvious things.

Then again Kurt has always been one to pick up on the finer details of everything including people and their emotions so he could normally see the things others may miss. "Is it really that hard for you to admit that maybe, just _maybe_ you love someone else who isn't Brittany anymore?" he asked, knowing he would have hit a nerve with his comment

He was only proved right when the Latina set alight in anger and lunged once more towards the pale boy. She gripped his shirt tight by the collar and for once Kurt didn't care about the material getting damaged, he only cared for his wellbeing. Santana pushed him up against the wall and her dark fire filled eyes pierced Kurt's like she was trying to burn right through him. She showed her teeth at him before responding in an aggressive tone that scared Kurt. "What did you say?" she growled

Although she didn't really notice Kurt visibly began to shake as Santana kept him pinned against the kitchen wall. He swallowed loudly; he knew he should stop before it became too late, he had never seen Santana so enraged not even when his step-brother outted the girl. But his mind told him to say it all now while she was here, while she was alone and while at least some of her barriers were down.

He looked into her eyes, they seemed more unsure than before "I'm not stupid Santana, I can see it. I can see it every time you look at her. Every time you hear her speak and when she says your name you light up" his voice was soft and he thought about continuing but before he could Santana reacted

"Shut your mouth Kurt!" She released her grip suddenly aware she could have been hurting the boy. Her own voice was just as soft as Kurt's was now. Her eyes were almost tearing up as she continued. "You don't know me. You don't know _anything_ about me"

Kurt composed himself, he thought about reaching his hand out to place it on the Latina as he could see she was getting visibly upset, but soon thought better of it. "I know that you're in love with Rachel" he whispered, knowing Brittany was still in the shower but he couldn't be too careful

"You're an idiot" Santana snapped back but her voice still gave her emotion away. She tried to avoid eye contact with him, but it was hard when they were so close, to stop him from seeing the stray tear that ran down her cheek.

"Then why did you kiss her?" he grew frustrated, all she needed to do was say a few words and this could all be over. Kurt thought about simply telling Santana the truth about Rachel's love for her and see if that made the Latina react any differently, but he also knew that wasn't his secret to tell.

"It was a mistake" the girl was quick to say

"I don't believe you Santana"

Santana shook her head "I don't fucking care what the fuck you believe Hummel. Just back off on all this or I swear to god I'll-"

"You'll what?" a voice interrupted the Latina's weak threat

Both fighting teens turned to see Rachel standing in the doorway looking a little shocked at what she was witnessing "Well? I'm waiting what on earth is going on in here?"

Santana quickly wiped the tear away on her cheek before returning to her signature frown and pointing it at Kurt "Kurt started it"

Kurt scoffed "Really Santana? I started it? What are you like six?"

"Fuck you!" she lunged for him once again but Rachel was quick to step between them and hold Santana back. She had seen Santana anger before, like the night when they first slept together and fought but this was something else entirely. She wondered what Kurt had said to her to piss her off so badly.

"Santana enough, this isn't like you. And Kurt please" she begged her friend as she tried to hold on to her other to stop the situation becoming a bloodbath in her kitchen. "Are you guys seriously fighting in here?"

Santana huffed before stepping back away from both Kurt and Rachel, she was at a loss of what to do or say. She needed to get away from all this even if it was just for a few hours. "You know what? I'm done with this" she stated as she looked from Kurt to Rachel. She felt bad for Rachel, she really did. She wished she had the courage right now to just be honest with not only herself but with everyone around her.

She hated lying about her feelings, it was hard and it made her feel awful each time she did it. But then she compared it to her coming out and how much effort it took and the hurt and pain she had to go through and it wasn't even her choice to do so. She knew that whatever this was with Rachel was just like that, she just didn't have the courage to do anything about it just yet.

"I don't need this bull shit. As soon as Brittany is out of the shower, we're going out for dinner and don't expect us to be back for a long time" her glare was aimed at Kurt again. He just had to speak; he just _had_ to make her deal with this. Why couldn't he just stay out of it?

Santana walked past Rachel and attempted to leave the room but her wrist was grabbed by a small hand "Santana please?"

"I'm sorry Rachel" she said so softly Rachel barely heard. Then she shook the girl off her and continued her storm out going straight to her bedroom. Rachel didn't really know what Santana was apologising for but it broke her heart hearing the usually so strong girl talk so dejectedly

When she heard Santana's door slam Rachel turned to Kurt. They exchanged slightly confused yet knowing looks "Rachel I'm sorry, I just had to talk to her. I should have figured she would go all Lima heights on my ass" he gave a half smile

Rachel waved her hand at him "Don't worry about it Kurt, it's not your fault. I just wish she'd stop putting up all these barriers. It's like were back in high school again" the diva shrugged

"She's just scared" Kurt added in a tone that showed he actually understood the angry and confused girl

"I'm gonna go talk to her" Rachel hoped she might be able to get through to her, even if she never gets the girl to talk any other time, but she just had to try.

"Good luck"

"Thanks"

Rachel slowly and very hesitantly made her way towards Santana's room. She didn't know what she would say when she got there or how she would even feel. Her own emotions were so confused about how she felt about Santana. She was in love with her there was no doubt about that but at times she also hated the way Santana acted or made her feel. But then the next minute she felt sorry for the Latina and just wanted to make her feel good again.

"Santana" she said softly as she entered the girl's room closing the door behind her. Santana was lying face down on her bed, she groaned when she heard Rachel's voice in her bedroom. Rachel ignored the clear protest over her presents and continued to walk up to the bed, sitting down next to Santana. "I'm sorry, I asked Kurt to talk to you. I shouldn't have let him"

Santana groaned again realising Rachel wasn't gonna leave her alone without a one of her 'talks' first. She flipped over on her back on the mattress to face Rachel. "Why can't you just accept that what we did was just fun and nothing more?" she asked in a slightly cold tone

Rachel felt a little hurt that Santana would asked that and looked down at her hands that sat nervously in her lap "Because I don't believe you really think that" she said quietly

"And what makes you say that?" Santana wondered more out of curiosity

"Because I'm not an idiot Santana. When we touched that very first time I felt something and I know you felt it too. Ok so maybe it didn't start as anything more than a deal or fun and maybe we didn't know it at the time but it wasn't _just_ fun. Not to me and I know you feel the same way" Rachel looked at Santana, their eyes locked but neither could really read the others expression

Santana sat up and without really thinking leaned closer into the girl on her bed "Ok then Rachel if you know me so well, how _do_ I feel?" Santana actually wanted an answer. If she was so confused about her own feelings then maybe Rachel could actually tell her what she was feeling.

Rachel looked down at Santana's lips, they were so close to hers and she wanted nothing more than to just lean in and close the gap between them. She felt safe when Santana touched her, like there was nothing else in the world except them and the pleasure they gave each other. All her problems seemed to vanish when Santana's skin came into contact with hers; the girl was so soft Rachel just melted into her like caramel.

'_The way you used to feel about somebody else' _Rachel really wanted to say that but she knew it was best she didn't. Instead she remained silent before leaning forward to deliberately brush her plump lips against Santana's own. The Latina suddenly at a loss for all things that weren't Rachel's lips released a sigh.

Santana whimpered at the very delicate and almost non-existent touch between them, and just as she thought Rachel was about to complete the embrace the smaller brunette pulled away. Santana jolted out of her dream state. Rachel stood from her bed and looked down at her "You already know the answer to that one San, I'm not going to tell you" Rachel opted to go with the girl's nickname knowing it would make her words hit her so much harder than if she would have said her full name. Without another word the diva turned away and left the room leaving Santana with nothing but even more thoughts and feelings.

Santana was a little confused over what Rachel just did, she didn't really know if Rachel wanted to kiss her but just backed out or whether she was just teasing her to get her to admit to her feelings. But that weird yet simply gesture seemed more intimate than any of the times she had actually had sex with Rachel and she could feel how her heart beat faster in her chest. She knew it was from the sheer prospect of simply almost kissing Rachel again, but she tried hard not to believe it. Feelings didn't always have to be right.

A few minutes later Brittany finally got out of the shower and walked back into Santana's room. Santana was still lying on her bed looking up at the ceiling wondering what had happened with Rachel not that long ago. In fact she was so overwhelmed with thoughts of the diva she didn't even noticed when her girlfriend walked into her room dressed only in a towel. Her blond damp hair resting on her shoulders and she pulled out some clean panties and a bra from the drawer Santana had lent her for her clothes.

Brittany made sure the door was shut before she dropped her towel to reveal her naked body in all its glory, she smirked knowing Santana would instantly notice her now but to her surprise her girlfriend didn't move. Santana remained lying lifeless on the bed, only the sound of her breathing and occasional blinking giving away she was still actually alive.

"Babe" Britt called, giggling at her girl's clear obliviousness. Santana still didn't look at her nor show any sign she was aware Brittany was even in the room. Brittany pulled on her devil red panties, tugging them up her pale, long, smooth and toned legs. She then took her matching bra and walked over to the bed Santana was laying on.

"Baby?" She stood over the Latina and let a few stray droplets of shower water from her hair drip onto Santana's face. She giggled again when the Latina jolted back into the real world.

Santana looked up at Brittany to see she was practically naked and her boobs were basically staring back at her but for the first time in her life she didn't even try to touch them, nor did she make some sexual comment or even give a sly grin. Instead she just sat up like normal "Hey Britt, I didn't hear you get out of the shower" she wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled them up to her chest.

Brittany laughed; she was rather surprised her girlfriend's hands weren't on her boobs yet but she didn't question it. It seemed nice to be naked for once without it leading to sex. "I noticed, I stood here naked and you still didn't glance me over" She sat down on the bed next to Santana

Santana shrugged "Sorry, I'll make more of an effort to perve next time" she lifelessly joked

"It's not perving when it's yours baby" Brittany leaned in to kiss Santana's lips, she didn't get the reaction she was hoping for but at least the girl kissed back this time. "Can you do me up babe?"

"Excuse me?" Santana wondered

"My bra. Can you do it up for me?" Brittany chucked at Santana's confusion before preparing her bra and turning around so Santana could do it up for her. Santana's fingers were usually so skilled at undoing a bra clasp but this time she helped her girlfriend do the clasp up. Once Brittany's boobs were secure the tall blond stood up to go find some clothes.

"Is that new? It's really nice, I like the colour" Santana smiled gesturing to Brittany's undergarments

The blond nodded "Yeah I brought them back in Lima but I haven't had a chance to wear them yet. I got the red because I know how much you love red" Brittany gave a genuine happy smile as she continued to bounce around the room finding some clothes.

Santana smiled too, she loved how Brittany always did things for her, she was so sweet and kind. It just made Santana feel even shittier about what she had been doing…or still doing, she really didn't know what she and Rachel were right now. "No wait" she called out when she saw Brittany pick up a pair of sweatpants that were lying on the floor. The blond halted instantly fearing she had done something bad, Santana was quick to reassure her "Put something nice on, I wanna take you out for dinner tonight"

Brittany's grin grew even wider "Aww you're the best girlfriend ever" she squealed before running over to her drawer to knock something up from the clothes she had brought with her

"No I'm not, I'm the worst" Santana muttered under her breath, Brittany was far too busy humming her favourite tune in her head to hear her girlfriend's words.

Santana left Brittany to get changed for their date out while she decided to go get some water, suddenly feeling very hot under the collar. She jumped up from the bed and headed out to the kitchen.

When she got there she had to sigh to see Rachel sat at the kitchen table trying to read a vegan recipe. The diva looked up upon hearing footsteps enter the room then attempted to give a smile to Santana. Neither girl really knew how to act towards the other after the 'almost kiss' but Santana was thirsty so she went straight to the sink and tried to ignore her friend.

"Why don't you just stay in? I'm gonna try and make pizza with Kurt" Rachel said softly hoping to cool the atmosphere.

"No thanks I'm taking my _girlfriend_ out to dinner" Santana replied still not turning to look at Rachel. She made sure the word 'girlfriend' was emphasised as much as possible, if not for Rachel to be reminded but herself.

Rachel rolled her eyes, she knew maybe trying to kiss Santana was wrong and even a little childish but Santana wasn't exactly the mature one in the house right now. "Do you always run away from all your problems Santana?" she asked

Santana made a noise which Rachel could only describe as a growl before turning around to lock eyes with the smaller girl "I'm not running away from anything Rachel, I just want a simply quiet night out with the girl I'm in love with" she glared into Rachel not at her, the look she was giving was weird and Rachel didn't know whether to be hurt, scared or angry. She didn't have time to pick one when she heard Brittany calling from the hallway

"San baby, I'm ready now!" the blond's voice echoed in Rachel's ears. The way she called her 'baby', she wished _she_ could do that with Santana instead

"Ok Britt, coming" Santana replied, she ditched the glass she had picked up and just went into the fridge to grab a chilled bottle of water before attempting to escape.

"Santana?" Rachel's voice stopped the Latina from leaving the kitchen

Santana turned around to face the girl, if this was another one of Berry's ways of getting her to speak about feelings she shouldn't even have she didn't want to hear it but all Rachel said was "Have fun" she even gave her a slightly excited smile

Santana knew it was mostly likely fake and she probably didn't really want Santana to 'have fun' with any girl that wasn't her but Santana just nodded and replied "Enjoy your pizza" before turning away for the last time that night

20 minutes later…

Santana and Brittany entered a restaurant; it wasn't too fancy for them to feel uncomfortable but was just fancy enough for Santana to forget some of the guilt that was always invading her body recently.

They took a table for two and began to look over the menus. Picking the food didn't take long and they sat quietly while they waited for it to arrive. Brittany began to sense something was not quite right with her girlfriend due to the fact Santana was never usually one to stay so quiet. She didn't even have a go at the waiter who obviously checked out Brittany's ass as they entered. The Latina was never one to shy away from scolding those who even looked at Brittany with any sense of attraction and she definitely didn't back down from making it obvious that the hot blond was indeed hers.

"You ok baby?" the blond asked as she smiled sweetly at the girl across from her

Santana seemed to fidget a little before smiling back "I'm fine Britt"

Brittany furrowed her brow, Santana was lying to her and she could tell that "What's wrong San, you seem pissed off?"

Santana sighed deeply "Nothing I said I was fine"

"Santana I can tell you're not so just talk to me. I mean I think we've been together long enough for me to know when something isn't quite right with you and I know now is one of those times. In fact you've been a little off ever since I've arrive. Did you not want me to come or something?" the blond asked slightly hurt that may be the reason

Santana's eyes shot wide and she grabbed Brittany's hand on the table "Brittany no of course not. I love seeing you, you know that" the Latina kissed her girlfriend's hand for reassurance

"Then what's going on with you?" Brittany wanted an answer and she was determined to get one "Talk to me please"

Santana gave a defeated sigh "I'm just pissed off that's all" she slumped her shoulders before falling back into her chair

Britt quirked an eyebrow at the other girl "See I told you. But why are you pissed?"

"It's nothing just forget it, don't worry"

"Well I am worried because you're my girlfriend and I love you so talk to me" the taller girl insisted

Santana knew she wasn't about to tell Brittany the full truth right here and now but she could tell her girlfriend the immediate reason of why she was so pissed currently "Its Rachel"

"Oh…what about her?" Brittany asked biting on a bread roll she picked up from the basket on the table

"She's just getting to me right now, I mean like annoying me" Santana knew 'annoying' probably wasn't the right word 'attracting' or 'distracting' may have been better options but if she told Brittany that it would be all over.

"Annoying you how?" the blond asked taking another bite of the roll "I thought you liked her?" she asked around the food in her mouth

"I do" Santana paused

"You need to give me more than that San" Brittany giggled

"It's just before I came here everything was perfect, you know you and I, our life. I couldn't ask for more but this place has ruined all that"

"Santana you're in New York City, one of the greatest cities in the world. You still have me even if we can't see each other as much as we used to for a while. And you have some of the greatest friends you could ask for not to mention really supportive parents and Lord Tubbington is rather fond of you too" Santana smiled as her girlfriend mentioned her cat, but she was right, she basically had everything a young adult could want in life including a okay paying job which wasn't too bad to do and she went to a really good college yet she still felt incomplete, like something was missing in her life.

"Look I don't know what's has been going on with you and Rachel but your stupid to think even I can't figure out _something_ has happened between you two" Brittany stated and Santana instantly panicked, Brittany _knew_ something was going on.

"You know?" Santana asked. So Brittany didn't know what it was exactly but even Britt could see there was something that was disrupting Rachel's and Santana's relationship. Santana felt even worse over the fact Brittany would automatically figure it to be a 'friend' matter

"I know that you're fighting right now, yes. I'm not gonna pry and make you tell me Santana because relationships aren't about that, and honestly I don't care what you and Rachel are getting so worked up over but I just wish you would sort it out because I know its tearing you up inside. I know you're not sleeping that much and I've barely seen you eat in the last few days. I've even heard you crying once or twice when you thought I was asleep" Brittany explained

"I wasn't crying I was whimpering, there's a difference" Santana interjected

"Whatever you say baby" Brittany laughed and patted Santana's hand on the table. "All I'm asking is please try and work this out when I've gone back to Lima so the next time I see you I can have my Sanny back" the blond grinned dopily

"I promise I'll work on it Britt. Do you think I should move out?" Santana asked she had been considering it for a while actually. If she wasn't around Rachel then she couldn't have feelings for her right?

"I don't really think running away from your problems is gonna help. You did that with your sexuality and look how that turned out. I know you, you're stubborn and won't admit when you're wrong but that's not going to help. Stand up to problems San and face them like the woman I know you are. I don't know whether you are fighting about who did the dishes last or what colour curtains to put up in the living room but whatever it is its probably silly so just get over it and move on" Brittany shrugged

When words came from her mouth it almost sounded too easy to actually be a solution but Brittany was right, all Santana needed to do was grow some balls and deal with her issues with Rachel like any other healthy person would. Problem was Santana wasn't one of those people. Plus it was kind of weird how her girlfriend was unknowingly giving her advice on how to deal with her attraction to another girl.

"I love you San" Britt said reassuring the Latina that no matter her issues she was still here for her right now

'_But for how long?'_ Santana silently wondered as she smiled back at her girlfriend and responded "I love you too". If she was honest with herself she wasn't completely lying, she really didn't know if she still loved Britt in the same way as she once did but she knew she still loved Brittany as her girlfriend right now. She was more than aware her feelings for the blond weren't quite as strong as they used to be when they first started dating but that was the same in all relationships that were older than a week right?

As for her feelings for Rachel, she didn't know whether it was possible to be in love with two people at once or whether you immediately fall out of love with someone if you fall in love with another. She just had too many questions and it was about time she tried to give herself some answers.

Back at the apartment:

"Weren't we meant to put the flour in by now?" Kurt asked as he held up the packet of flour watching Rachel stir the mix for the pizza dough

Rachel instantly stopped moving and looked down into the mixing bowl she had cradled in her arms. "Shit" the girl huffed

"This isn't going so good" Kurt chuckled noting this was their fourth mistake and they had only just started their cooking

Rachel whimpered playfully "Well the book says its easy and only takes a few minutes to prepare" she looked back over the book that she had open near the oven

"Rachel why don't we just order some pizza? At this rate we will be eating at midnight" the boy joked

"But I wanted to make my own pizza" Rachel whined

"I know what you're doing"

Rachel looked at her friend "What do you mean?"

"You're trying to keep yourself busy so you don't think about her" Kurt stated knowingly

Rachel just looked away and back at the open book "I don't know what you're talking about Kurt, who?"

"You know who Rachel. Do you really think cooking a pizza is going to help you get over her?"

Rachel knew _nothing_ would help her get over Santana, but she had to try something and keeping both her hands and mind busy and away from the girl she had fallen for was a good start. "Well honestly I had forgotten about her until you go and mentioned her again, thanks for that" Rachel sighed, it had officially been a full five minutes since the Latina last popped into her head

"Rachel do you know what would really help you forget Santana?" the boy asked as he dipped his finger into the dough mix Rachel had been stirring previously and tasted it. He watched as Rachel shook her head. "Dating!" he stated excitedly

"Dating? Why would I want to date right now?" she wondered

"Well you know what they say _'the best way to get over someone is to get under someone'_" he wiggled his eyebrows

Rachel cringed at the saying and shook her head "Ew Kurt I hate that saying"

Kurt chuckled at his best friend's reaction "Look all I'm suggesting is maybe start to play the field a little. I know you're caught up on Santana but do you really think she's gonna break up with Brittany for you?"

Rachel gave a sad smile knowing the boy was right, but she couldn't just let go of Santana so easily not when she had fallen so hard for her in the first place. "I'm not interested in dating anyone right now Kurt and I especially don't have an interest in getting '_under_' anyone else"

"Ok I get it, but at least tell me you'll think about it. I think it would be good for you to get out and see other people, after all other than Finn you've never really had another real relationship" Kurt said

"Fine I promise I'll think about it, but only _think_ ok? I'm not promising I will actually start to date. I'm not ready to give up on Santana because I know there's more to the way she feels about me than she lets on but at the same time I'm getting a little tired of her whole hot and cold attitude right now. Maybe it will do me some good to explore my options" Rachel smiled at her friend knowing full well it was fake. She wished it could be that easy to just let go and move on or pretend her feelings didn't exist like Santana seemed to be an expert at doing. But she was Rachel Berry and if there one thing the Berrys' don't do its hide away.

"That's all I'm asking. Besides you remember how Santana was when Brittany was with Artie right?" the boy asked as he took another dip in the dough mix

Rachel nodded "Sure"

"Well maybe if Santana saw you with someone else officially then she might come to her senses. Remember how jealous she got at just seeing you dancing with your devil of a teacher? Well imagine how jealous she would get seeing you with a boyfriend or girlfriend or even another hump buddy" Kurt raised his brows like he had just said something worthy of a Nobel prize

Rachel liked his idea if she was honest, if there was one thing Santana couldn't seem to hide it was her raging jealousy; her dance class was evidence of that. She grinned at Kurt wickedly, she didn't totally feel comfortable using someone to make Santana jealous but maybe if it was someone she already kinda liked it wouldn't be so bad to just go on a few dates or at least hang around with some other people. "Kurt you are kind of a genius you know that?"

"Well I'm not just a pretty face" he laughed

Rachel rolled her eyes and dipped her own finger into the mixing bowl, scooping up some of the dough onto her finger before flicking it in Kurt's face. The mixture landed on his nose and the boy jolted back with shock but he soon grew a smile as Rachel began to giggle at him.

"Oh you are so going to pay for that one Ra-" Kurt playfully threatened but before he could finish he was pelted once again by more of Rachel's flying dough. It hit his chest and Rachel burst into fits of giggles "Rachel this is Chanel!" he reprimanded but honestly he didn't care about his shirt, he was just happy to see Rachel smile for once and to hear her laugh, he hadn't had much of that since he got to new York

Kurt threw a friendly glare at the girl before putting his whole hand into the bowl and covering it in dough. Rachel's eyes shot wide as she shook her head "No, no Kurt please, I'm sorry" she begged as she continued to laugh and back away from Kurt

"Oh yes Rachel, you're going to get it now" he smirked and ran after her, chasing her around the kitchen for several minutes before finally catching her and dumping the mix on her head. Both teens laughed and fell to the ground as they tackled each other trying to fight over the mixing bowl for the remainder of the mix.

As Rachel pinned Kurt down on the floor and poured the rest of the mix over his face she laughed hard and realised this was so much better than actually cooking pizza, she and Kurt would definitely have to order in now. And better yet for the second time that day she had _completely_ forgotten about Santana.

**A/N: Ooh I wonder what Rachel will do now. I wonder what Santana will do now. Hope you all enjoyed that and looking forward to the obvious drama that's going to come now.**

**So I was completely overwhelmed by how much you loved the last chapter, I got 21 reviews for the last chapter alone, the most I've ever received for any chapter on any of my stories, I wonder if we can out do that and get 22 on this one, I can dream right? Each one of you are fantastic so I hoped you all liked this chapter too and just know I'm already working on the next one because you are all that great. It's amazing how Kurt and Brittany's stuff was originally only gonna be one or two chapters haha, but ideas change. And I do apologise about the lack of promise Pezberry sexytimes in this chapter, next chapter for sure will have it…sort of**

**Next chapter teaser: (my gift to you) Santana kinda breaks down, more so than in this chapter. I think you will like it ;)**

**Ok so I'm gonna start giving out little teasers (like above) maybe at the end of chapters, also I will give out teasers and spoilers on twitter but not major plot points obviously like who will end up together not that you can't guess. But I know how much my teasing makes you want more so feel free to ask me anything on twitter if you can't wait for updates on any of my stories or if you just want to talk to me. My twitter link is on my profile if you don't follow me already. **

**Please leave me your reviews, until next time. **


	9. Chapter 9

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 9

PAIRINGS:

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Brittana (Santana/ Brittany)

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ****Again thanks for all the reviews they get better to read each chapter. As for the Santana breaks down thing its kinda not in this chapter but will be in one coming up as I broke this one into two or maybe three again because otherwise it would be too long which I doubt you guys would complain about but my fingers would (and not in the good way) but she does have like a little melt down sorta. Some of you are gonna like this chapter and some will want to hit me after but please don't, just wait for the next chapters before going crazy.**

**A/N 2****:As far as Rachel's love interest goes, some of you say you want Brody some of you don't, and others want Cassie and others don't but honestly I decided who was coming into this story a long time ago and I'm probably not gonna change that. Rachel will not date Brody (I agree I don't really like him) and she definitely won't be hooking up with Cassie anytime soon but she will go on a date with someone in an upcoming chapter very soon and the person will be a little more obvious I guess. **

**Also Santana's behaviour and Rachel's dedication to Santana is causing some emotional conflict with you guys but tbh if you've ever been in love with someone as much as Rachel is with Santana then you'll know it's not easy to just turn your back and walk away, trust me I know you guys might hate that Rachel won't just ditch Santana but honestly it's just not that simple in life I wish it was but it isn't and I am making this story as realist as I can. **

**As for this chapter some of you may like what will happen but others probably won't but either way I wrote it for a reason and I don't regret it so please just give it a chance I'm doing it all for a reason. I have literally planned the end of this story now and I know exactly what will happen as long as I don't go changing my mind about it which I have done several times with this story but hopefully I won't. Now on with the show please enjoy…**

There were only a couple more days until school got back in session and Kurt and Brittany would have to return to the boring mundane routine of Lima while Rachel and Santana would go back to being whatever the hell they were before their friends showed up. But neither Rachel nor Santana actually knew what that was. Were they still 'fuck buddies' or were they something more than that…or maybe something less?

Santana had spent several nights since the 'almost kiss' just lying around the apartment trying to wrap her head around her feelings, she couldn't remember a time when she was so scared and confused all at the same time. Yes that's right Santana Lopez was scared, terrified in fact, but it just to do with the fact she didn't want to lose Brittany, the only person in her life who ever actually gave a shit about her, but she was scared of what would happen between her and Rachel when Brittany was no longer around to distract her.

Santana knew she had feelings for Rachel she could admit that much but the thought of giving up everything she had known to risk something with Rachel just scared her more. But wasn't love and feelings supposed to scare you? That was a good thing right? She couldn't work it out and it was frustrating her and she already knew Brittany was aware something was up with her. Though thank god Brittany didn't know the half of it, she just couldn't handle that.

She'd spent the last couple of days practically ignoring everyone except Brittany, she figured not communicating with Rachel was the safest option and after attacking Kurt she knew she best stay away from him for his safety.

Santana was tired not just emotionally but physically too. Each time she shut her eyes she'd picture Rachel, on top of her, under her, tasting and touching her. Then she'd toss and turn for a few minutes and see it all over again only this time she was the one doing the touching and tasting. Her mind kept replaying their first time together over and over again in her dreams and each time she'd wake up hot and bothered and just as wet and it was beginning to become harder for her to hide that from Brittany.

But there was something that pissed her off so much more than just her dreams and urges. It was Rachel. Rachel had been going out a lot just recently. She didn't know where because she didn't want to ask but she knew she didn't like it. She knew Rachel had been hanging out with college friends though because she heard the girl tell Kurt about it.

It was almost as if the tiny brunette was deliberately trying to make her jealous but then why should she get jealous about who Rachel fucked or did god knows what with? The girl wasn't her girlfriend; she had no say in what Rachel did or who she did. The thought of Rachel kissing or touching someone that wasn't her just made her blood boil and her jaw clench and tears burn in her eyes but she couldn't show it.

The other night Rachel got home past midnight (a rare thing for Rachel Berry unless she was out on the town with Santana or Kurt) and Santana was lying in bed next to a sleeping Brittany having another one of her sleepless nights. She heard Rachel stumble to her room and it didn't take a genius to work out she must have had a drink or two. Santana wondered how she even got the alcohol but then figured it must have been one of her new 'cool friends' she constantly gossiped about with Kurt. Ok so Rachel didn't constantly talk about anyone but Santana knew Rachel was just doing this to get her back.

There was one person Rachel had mentioned several times in the last few days however, his name was Brody Weston. He was some cocky, over muscled jerk from Rachel's school but Rachel seemed to like him and if Santana didn't know any better she'd say Rachel was screwing him. But she did know better, she knew Rachel wasn't but that didn't matter. Obviously this guy liked Rachel and Santana was sure Rachel probably found him attractive and that was enough to make her want to tear his big smug head off and go all Lima heights on his sorry ass. But again she couldn't do that…Rachel _wasn't_ hers.

Rachel on the other hand was also lying in bed most nights trying to find sleep but failing. Her mind was so caught up on all of her feelings. Kurt had told her she needed to get out and meet someone new and she really wanted to, she just wished it was that easy but it wasn't.

Instead she had done something she never usually did, she started to lie. She told Kurt she was going out knowing Santana was listening but instead of going to a club or a bar like she had said she just went to places like the local café or central park and desperately tried to clear her head.

She had however been hanging out with her friend Brody from school, it was obvious Brody had a crush on her and she liked the attention so she didn't stop him when he would hit on her or flirt with her.

It made a nice change to have someone want her rather than pretend they didn't. But no matter what she did or how much time she spent with Brody she just couldn't get Santana out of her head.

The way the Latina touched her, the way their lips brushed perfectly together and her skin set alight from a simple thing like a glance. Rachel would spend the night thinking about that time in the shower, Santana was like an animal that day, she was so different than the locked away Latina she saw now. She wished she could find that open Santana once more, but how?

Rachel wondered what things would be like between them when Kurt and Brittany were no longer in the apartment, how would she feel or act if Kurt wasn't there to lend his support. The boy had been like a rock for her over the last couple of weeks and she couldn't be more appreciative of the fact. She knew she wouldn't have survived seeing Santana all over Brittany and vice versa if Kurt wasn't there to help shield her from the worst of it.

She battled with herself over what Kurt told her to do, she wanted to forget Santana and move on. The thought of it was so easy but actually doing it was a completely different story. She figured in the end the only way she could get past this was to get Santana to just admit to feeling _something, _just anything back for her that went beyond regular friendship.

She knew she had tried it before and failed miserably but this time she wasn't going to take no for an answer, she was angry and frustrated at how this had all turned out. Something that started as pure emotional need turned into something so ugly yet so beautiful she couldn't let go of it.

She knew Santana had been ignoring her recently so she did the same, if she couldn't go to Santana she'd force Santana to come to her. She already knew the Latina was jealous of the fact she had been hanging out with Brody so much more especially when she was sure to mention how much the boy was crushing on her to Kurt.

Rachel didn't like the thought of using anyone but desperate times call for desperate measures plus she had told Brody a bunch of times she wasn't into him in that way and he was well aware of that, though it didn't stop him from trying to get in her skirt still.

She had picked Brody because; one, he was an easy choice as she already knew him but more importantly she knew for a fact that Santana hated Brody, the Latina always had since the first moment she had met him. Something about him being too cocky. So Rachel had been giving Santana a taste of her own cold medicine but it wasn't working fast enough to cure her heart.

"_Oh fuck Rachel, you feel amazing" Santana groaned as Rachel lapped between her legs. Her short nails grazing over Santana's thighs._

_Santana tangled her fingers in Rachel's hair as the girl hummed into her hot core "And you taste amazing" _

_That was all Santana needed to sit up and push Rachel onto her back before slamming two fingers into the diva's own wet sex. Santana thrust in and out like there was no tomorrow loving the hot breath Rachel was gasping on her neck. "Oh Santana" Rachel whimpered. The Latina smiled, her name seemed so perfect falling from the smaller brunette's lips like that, especially when she was already clutching around her fingers._

"_God Rachel you're so wet" she pointed out the obvious _

"_That's what you do to me baby" Rachel gripped Santana's dark locks and began to kiss her neck. Santana relaxed into the sensation, there was nothing more perfect to her than feeling Rachel all around her like this._

"_I wanna make you feel so good baby" Santana promised bringing her thumb up to press down on Rachel's hard clit. The smaller girl's hips bucked up into her hand immediately as another gasped rushed past her lips._

_Rachel clutched to Santana like she was a life line, their bodies flushed together and moving in perfect unison. Santana locked eyes with Rachel and was first to make the move, she pressed their lips together in a heated passionate kiss. Her tongue soon found Rachel's as her fingers kept building the girl up._

"_Come for me Rach, I wanna feel you" she husked into Rachel's mouth._

_Rachel nodded knowing she was close. "Fuck Santana" _

_The Latina gave one last hard thrust in her sex and rub to her clit and pushed Rachel into sexual bliss. The diva's hips bucked relentlessly and she exploded in pleasure she had never felt before. Her body was taken over by love and admiration for the girl above her who ran her through her orgasm and watched her come undone intently._

_When Rachel had finally fallen limp on the mattress she pulled Santana back in for another kiss nibbling gently on the Latina's bottom lip. When she pulled back she saw Santana looking deep into her eyes like she was about to say something, but Rachel spoke first. Breathlessly she opened her mouth noting Santana's fingers were still deep inside her and her thumb was leisurely stroking her sensitive clit. "Santana…I love you"_

_Santana smiled "Rachel I…" _

Santana shot up from her sleep in panic with a loud gasp, her body sweaty and aroused once more. She realised she was in the living room on the couch, she remembered falling asleep there after battling her tired body from all the thoughts and feelings and worry. She didn't like sleeping when she knew what she would dream but a nap seemed like a good idea at the time even if she fought that too at first. Once again she had lost and dreamt of Rachel. This time however Brittany didn't even make an appearance in her dream, Rachel was the first thing she saw right as she shut her eyes. It was _all _Rachel.

That had never happened before it always started as Brittany and slowly fazed into Rachel but each and every time Brittany had started to appear less and less. Not only was Brittany missing from her most recent dream but she wasn't just having sex with Rachel, they were making love.

Rachel confessed her love for her and Santana wondered desperately what she was about to say in her dream before she woke up. Every one of her dreams grew more realistic and tonight's was no exception. She could practically feel Rachel's skin against her own, the heat between their bodies and hot breath in her ear.

"Are you ok?" a concern voice broke Santana from her thoughts. She looked up to see Rachel's head poking in the living room by the door. "I heard you scream and I was concerned" Rachel was truthfully worried about the girl. She looked sweaty and flushed and somewhat scared or panicked Rachel couldn't quite work it out.

Santana nodded her head before shaking it, she didn't know if she was ok or not. It may have been just a dream but she had called Rachel 'baby' and Rachel had called her the same. It wasn't the first time Santana had let it slip, when they first started hooking up she had said it at least once but she knew it was just a slip of the tongue. But in her dream it seemed so natural, so easy, and so right.

Rachel walked into the room when she didn't get an answer; she walked towards Santana and sat down on the couch next to her as Santana scrambled up into a sitting position. "Santana I asked if you were ok? You don't look so good?" Rachel made a note of the girl's unusually pale skin.

Rachel reached out to grasp Santana's hands and something about the touch awoke Santana's whole body. She could feel the painful throb between her legs and knew she needed to do something about it. "Where's Brittany?" Santana rushed out.

"She's out with Kurt getting a take out for dinner" Rachel explained noting Santana was avoiding eye contact with her. "Santana talk to me, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just _need _Brittany" Santana said through gritted teeth, she was desperate. The throb was so painful she had a hard time not being too obvious in front of Rachel but Rachel was a smart girl and she could figure out what was wrong with the Latina and why she was so sweaty.

"Let me help you" Rachel whispered so suddenly it shocked even herself but she didn't want to take it back.

"What?" Santana _finally_ made eye contact with her; it was the first time for several days Santana had even looked in her direction. Rachel felt something in her heart when Santana's dark eyes stared back into hers.

Rachel ran her thumbs over the backs of Santana's hands "I said let me help you" she repeated in a slight more seductive way. She didn't really know what had come over her but she needed this as much as Santana did, even if her intentions were different than the other girls.

Santana just shook her head and tried to pull her hands back "No thank you" she desperately wanted to say 'yes' and just rip off Rachel's clothes and take her hard against the couch but she knew that was wrong.

Rachel gave an unamused chuckle "Come on Santana, one minute you're all over me and then the next you're ignoring me. It's not like we haven't done this before, besides you know I can get you off before Brittany and Kurt come back. They will never know" Rachel said as she dropped to her knees in front of the Latina. Her voice was suddenly far from innocent, it was something Santana had never heard come from Rachel before; devious if she had to guess and as she was an expert on all things devilish she knew Rachel had her own intentions for doing this and she didn't think it was for her own pleasure.

"No Rachel" Santana was slow to say but Rachel was already fingering her belt buckle and she put one hand on Santana's abs to push her back so she relaxed back into the couch. "Rachel don't do this" Santana begged knowing if another second passed she wouldn't be able to stop herself. And then it passed and Rachel still hadn't moved. "Fuck Rachel" she whimpered as the diva began to rub at her through her pants with a smirk on her face.

"Come on San, it will only take a few minutes, you're such a whore for it any other time. I bet you're throbbing for it right now. You want me don't you? You want to feel my lips around your clit, sucking on it like Brittany would. But the thing is you don't want Brittany do you? You imagine my head between your legs when you dream at night, I know you do" Rachel went on slowly undoing her belt then she went on to her pants.

Santana wanted to stop Rachel, she wanted to stop herself too but she couldn't. Right now Rachel was right, she wanted her not Brittany. She knew it was wrong but it just felt so right as the smaller girl slid her pants down just far enough to expose her boyshorts and the clear wet spot that had appeared on the crotch of them in her sleep. "I told you, you wanted me" Rachel husked confidently.

Santana couldn't move or speak, hell she could barely remember to breathe as Rachel pressed a kiss to the material of her crotch forcing Santana to buck her hips. "Tell me you want me Santana"

They locked eyes but no words left Santana's mouth

Rachel brought a single finger to where she figured Santana's aching clit was under her underwear before pressing down on it "I said tell me you want me"

"I want you Rachel. No I need you. Please fucking touch me, lick me, suck me just do something" Santana uncharacteristically begged feeling the heat between her legs flare up to be even hotter and Rachel didn't need to be told twice. She pulled down Santana's boyshorts and exposed the Latina's throbbing centre.

Rachel licked her lips, she hadn't seen Santana like this since they last slept together and the sight and aromas of the girl's arousal alone was enough to make her want to shed her own clothes off but this wasn't about romance or love or even sex. This was about revenge and proving her point.

"Rachel…B-Brittany and Kurt will be b-back" she stuttered as Rachel eyed her intimate area.

"Don't worry the door is locked, they'll have to knock first" Rachel assured her while she let her hot breath ghost a crossed Santana's core.

The Latina bucked her hips from habit wanted to just feel that connection already but part of her was still holding her back. But then suddenly all the thoughts going through her mind just drained away, all the emotions and feelings about anything that wasn't Rachel's mouth just disappeared when Rachel took a quick swipe of Santana's sex with her tongue.

Rachel hummed at the taste she hadn't had in oh so long, too long in fact. The sweet nectar Santana had already released flowed over her tongue and it almost made her forget why she was doing this to begin with. The aroma of Santana's excitement was so intoxicating she just wanted to dive right back in but she held herself back as she watched Santana shudder for more of her touch.

"Please Rachel" Santana begged for more, she knew she shouldn't be doing so but she wasn't thinking with her head right now.

Rachel smirked it was the reaction she had been looking for and she went back down and licked another strip up Santana's length deliberately avoiding the pulsing nub.

She continued her teasing for several more licks until she heard Santana start to groan. "Rachel please stop teasing and just do it" the desperate girl pleaded gripping the couch tightly.

Rachel chuckled before pressing a finger against Santana's bundle of highly eager nerves "Tell me something first Santana. Tell me, do you think of _me_ when you fuck Brittany at night? Do you have to stop yourself from calling out _my_ name when she makes you come?" Rachel asked bitterly pressing down harder on the girl's clit wanting an answer.

Santana just looked at her and Rachel knew she wasn't going to get one. So she just gave Santana what she wanted knowing the silence the Latina maintained was answer enough for her.

She lowered her mouth once more and helped Santana part her legs as much as possible with her pants still on. She wasted no more time before wrapping her lips around Santana's hard clit and sucking it into her wet mouth. Santana's body jolted in instant pleasure "Holy fuck Rachel" her hand flew straight into Rachel's hair to guide her.

Santana felt something as soon as Rachel put her lips on her; she knew exactly what it was because she used to feel it with Brittany all the time but she just didn't anymore. It was electricity. Sparks of it all over her body. The electricity flowed right from Rachel and into her and there was no denying how powerful it was. It made Santana wish that the dream she had had could be real. That she could be with Rachel in a bed like they were actually more than just 'friends' but then the image of Brittany came back into her mind and all she felt was hatred towards herself and her feelings.

As soon as Rachel's velvety lips fell on her skin and enveloped her aching nub she knew she couldn't hold her feelings in any longer, it had been so long since she had been with Rachel in this way and she thought she could handle it but not now. Not now she had felt Rachel again.

As Rachel sucked on her clit and they stared into each other's eyes she was suddenly hyper aware of the intense electrical emotion and connection between them, and she was certain it wasn't just the sexual pleasure that made her say what she said next.

"Oh god that's so good baby" she moaned her eyes never leaving Rachel's. Rachel was surprised by the slip of the tongue but she didn't mention it and as Santana didn't even attempt to correct herself she guessed the Latina wasn't aware she had said it.

Rachel sucked harder wanting to give Santana pleasure knowing that's how all this started, she was nothing more than a way for the Latina to get off and when this all started she was happy with that. But they had come so far yet they were still denying that there was more to it, or at least one of them was denying that.

There was something about the way Santana's fingers stroked her silky locks and how her dark eyes looked down at her with such adoration while Rachel was on her knees that made the smaller girl forget why she was even doing this. She wanted this to mean as much for Santana as it clearly meant for her but she knew Santana would flip out as soon as she came and Rachel would be left hurting all over again. Maybe she shouldn't have done this at all but as she licked and sucked making the Latina moan her name in pleasure Rachel couldn't help but think she could do this for the rest of her life.

"Rachel I'm close" Santana murmured throwing her head back and gripping Rachel's hair tighter.

The loss of eye contact brought Rachel back to reality, Santana wasn't her girlfriend and the thought of being on her knees just for pleasure made Rachel feel slightly dirty. But the fact Santana's whole body was shaking with pleasure made her feel like she at least had a use. She was doing this to Santana not Brittany, not some other girl but _her. _She had the power over Santana right now and she could easily stop and if she wasn't such a good person she would stop right now and leave Santana begging for relief. She couldn't do that though because no matter how much she told herself this was her proving a point, that Santana wanted her just as much as she wanted Santana, she still was enjoying this as much as the Latina, even if she didn't want to.

"Rach, I'm gonna come" Santana announced so softly and lovingly that Rachel almost believed it was more than just the sexual pleasure talking. Maybe it was but she couldn't get her hopes up.

"Just let it go Santana, come for me" Rachel said against her, the power of what she was doing making her smile again. _She_ was making Santana come; _she_ was giving her this gift. No one else and Santana had no choice but to take it from her.

"Rachel" Santana whimpered almost silently as her hips bucked up and her fingers tightened in Rachel's hair and she came hard. Harder than she had in a long time. But it wasn't just an orgasm. Something ran through her whole body, something so much more intense and it made her feel warm and loved like never before, then settled in her chest. She wanted to just pull Rachel into a kiss and hold her until they both fell asleep but that would be wrong, right? She knew that wasn't something she should do with a girl that wasn't her girlfriend no matter how strong the urge.

As Santana recovered from her climax and tried to regain her breath she looked back down at Rachel and Rachel stopped suddenly. A silence fell upon them as they looked deep into one another's eyes once more. Santana just traced Rachel's facial features with her fingers running through the obvious wetness that was still on the girl's lips and chin.

She helped Rachel clean some off with her thumb before she attempted to lean in and kiss Rachel. She didn't know why but something just took over her but before her lips could reach Rachel's Rachel pulled back. She placed a hand on Santana's shoulder and stopped her from getting any closer knowing what it would lead to if she let the Latina kiss her like that, in this situation.

"Please Santana don't do that" her voice was soft and broken as she broke eye contact with the girl. She looked so small now under Santana's watch.

Santana moved back accepting Rachel's wish but frowned a little in confusion.

"Don't ruin this, just let me have this one moment where I can feel like I'm yours please" Rachel asked and Santana could see the tear that ran down Rachel's cheek even if the girl was trying to cover it.

Santana didn't speak; she didn't know what to say. She had just tried to kiss Rachel and was almost relieved Rachel had stopped her, she didn't know if she would have stopped herself if she had started.

"This wasn't romance Santana. This wasn't love" the small brunette stated bluntly. "This was just sexual, just like we started as, just like every other time" Rachel voiced as she stood up from her knees and wiped both her mouth of Santana's essence and her eyes of her own sadness and heartbreak. "I was just helping you and we should leave it like that. Maybe we should stop helping each other altogether" she started to walk out of the room but Santana grabbed her hand and pulled her back, making a weak attempt to tug her own pants up.

"Rachel I-"

"No don't Santana, we both know what this is…you don't want me and that's ok. From now on we should just forget this ever happened and stay away from one another" Rachel quietly and slowly said as she pulled away from Santana. She wanted to cry at her own words but didn't want to show her weakness in front of Santana.

Rachel didn't believe anything she was really saying; she still knew Santana wanted her. She still knew she wouldn't be able to stay away from Santana and she still knew she was painfully in love with the girl but maybe if she showed her cold side like Santana had done. Maybe if she pretended she just didn't care. Maybe if she left Santana to figure it out, Santana would break down and finally realise all her feelings actually _do_ mean something to her.

Maybe Santana could finally admit it to herself.

Rachel looked at the flushed Latina just as they were interrupted by a knock at the door. "You should go and clean up" she suggested and waited until Santana had stood up on slightly shaky legs and made her way to the bathroom before she went to let Kurt and Brittany in. She took several long seconds to compose herself before she opened the door.

Kurt and Brittany walked into the apartment completely oblivious to what had been going on while they had been out. "Hey Rach, we got Chinese and pizza because Brittany wanted something with cheese on it" Kurt informed his friend holding out the food as he walked past her emotionless body into the kitchen.

Brittany smiled at the girl "Hey where's Santana?" Brittany wondered noticing the girl was no longer sleeping on the couch where she had left her when she went out.

Rachel gave Brittany a fake smile trying to look as casual as possible. "Um…she's just in the bathroom"

Santana stared at herself in the mirror of the bathroom. She had no idea what had just happened or why her body didn't stop her but she felt terrible about it. She had just received oral sex from Rachel while her girlfriend was out. She threw some water on her face trying to think things through.

Maybe Rachel was right they should just stay away from each other then she wouldn't be so tempted to feel things for the girl that she shouldn't be feeling if she had a girlfriend. Maybe it would be a good thing. It was clear she could no longer control herself any longer, Rachel made her feel things that she hadn't felt in so long and she had to deal with that whether she was ready or not.

Santana composed herself with a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom knowing she had to face Rachel and her girlfriend.

It didn't surprise her when Rachel took her food to her room along with Kurt and she didn't see her again that night.

That night Santana had thought about literally nothing else other than what she and Rachel had done. Why _did_ Rachel do that? She was glad she did but honestly it just seemed to make everything even more confusing.

Santana had managed to push her feelings aside long enough to make love with Brittany or at least start to. Brittany was clearly in the mood and Santana didn't want to keep pushing the blond away or she was bound to figure out something was wrong and Santana couldn't let that happen.

She and Brittany hadn't had sex for several days and that wasn't normal in their relationship so Santana gave in to her girlfriend and let Brittany take control for once. Problem was no matter what Brittany did, where she touched or kissed or sucked, Santana just couldn't get into it and it was becoming noticeable. No matter what Brittany did to her she just kept thinking about Rachel and what Rachel had said and did to her earlier that day and the feelings that pumped through her chest when she was with Rachel.

What the fuck was happening to her?

"Oh fuck San, this feels so good" Brittany groaned above her. The blond was currently on top of an almost lifeless Santana attempting to get Santana to do something back. The blond had taken control with their love making and had started to rub her sex against Santana's as she lay above her, she rolled her hips but she wasn't completely oblivious to the fact Santana wasn't rolling hers back.

Santana figured she should probably move but the thought of her reciprocating Brittany's love right now while she was thinking about another girl just seemed very, very wrong. She stared up at Brittany as the girl's face reflected the pleasure she was clearly giving herself. Santana tried desperately to push Rachel out of her head and just be with her girlfriend.

Santana looked down at their joined intimate parts hoping it would do something for her, usually just seeing Brittany's pussy was enough to get her going all night long but tonight…nothing. As she watched the blond move against her she just couldn't get into it even when she wasn't thinking about Rachel.

Brittany continued to thrust into the limp girl underneath her for a few more minutes only occasionally gaining a small soft moan from the Latina's lips. When she realised this was very un-Santana during sex she stopped her movements altogether and looked down into the sad brown eyes that were avoiding her blue ones.

She lowered herself slightly down on top of Santana without crushing her "San what's wrong?" she asked softly.

Santana gritted her teeth not wanting to let a single tear out as she turned her head to look up into Brittany's eyes. "Nothing's wrong Britt" she assured her attempting her best fake voice.

"Then why aren't you into this? Do you wanna be on top or something?" the blond wondered backing off Santana slightly.

Santana was quick to shake her head "No, no sorry B. I am into this, it feels good honestly" she wasn't lying, it did feel as good as ever but the fact her mind wasn't in it made her body just as unresponsive.

Brittany wasn't so certain. "But you're not even squeezing my boobs. You always squeeze my boobs when we do this"

"I'm sorry Baby" Santana apologised

Brittany gave her a sympathetic frown as she slowly looked between their joint bodies. "…and I hate to break it to you baby but you're not even getting that wet. Your mind is so somewhere else right now than here with me" the blond stated sadly attempting to roll off of Santana but the Latina stopped her by wrapping her legs around Brittany's waist.

Santana sat up on her elbows to look up at her girlfriend, she felt more than guilty that she couldn't even give the girl she supposedly loved pleasure when they were in bed together. It was something in which she had never really had trouble with before, but then again her mind had never wandered before either. "I'm sorry Britt, I'm just tired I guess but I am enjoying this please don't stop"

Brittany gave a single nod "Okay" she said and leaned down to kiss Santana but the Latina's lips remained stiff against her moving ones. She attempted to move her hips against her girlfriend's again but only getting the same reaction.

Just as she was about to give up totally and pull away from the girl once more Santana sat up and suddenly with renewed energy pushed Brittany on to her back. Santana's lips instantly found Brittany's neck and started sucking, she pressed her hips down onto Brittany's in the hope that it could give her some form of pleasure that would help her get more in the mood but nothing worked.

She prayed desperately to stop picturing that is was Rachel under her and she had to open her eyes and look into the blond's blue one's just to remember Rachel _wasn't _hers and Brittany _was_. That's the way it was. Brittany's hands ran through her dark hair and she moaned lightly as Santana's mouth attached to her neck.

Santana continued to kiss at her girlfriend's skin suckling and tasting the girl's body but it did nothing to get her going. She felt like she was back in high school desperately trying to get aroused while making out with some guy. Obviously Brittany didn't feel like a guy to her but the situation was similar, she was trying to get into it with someone she just couldn't feel it for right now.

Santana sighed loudly in defeat as she sat up off of Brittany she looked deep into those sad eyes. "I'm sorry Britt; I really just can't get into this at the moment. I wish I could but my mind is just so full of shit right now" Santana huffed as she flopped down on her back on the bed and pulled the sheet over them.

Brittany sat on her elbow to look at her girlfriend "Its ok baby, I'm not really in the mood anymore either" she shrugged; Santana knew she was lying but Brittany clearly didn't want to upset her or make her feel bad.

Santana thought of the only thing that might work and offered it to the blond "I can go down on you if you really wanted to get off"

"No that's alright, I'm fine. As long as I can hold you instead" she smiled and wrapped her long strong arms around Santana and held her tightly. Her naked front pressed against Santana's just as naked back and kissed her neck. "Goodnight baby" she whispered softly in the Latina's ear.

"Night Britt-Britt" she smiled at the blond before turning away completely, she used one of her hands to hold Brittany's that was snaked around her waist and her other hand subtly wiped at a tear Brittany had hopefully not noticed.

Santana lay there dreading the thought of slipping into yet another dream that featured a girl she shouldn't be having feelings for that only grew stronger with each passing day, knowing it was indeed inevitable once she finally closed her eyes.

**A/N: Please don't complain about the Pezberry sexytimes I did it for reasons and I don't regret it. Its Rachel's own way of dealing with this and it will be followed up in the next chapter sort of so just wait until then. Wait to find out what happens. **

**Also please note Santana only called Brittany 'baby' once and she hasn't done so since chapter 7, plus she clearly didn't want to have sex with her so something's coming I think. Please wait for the next couple of chapters before jumping to any conclusions a lot is gonna be happening in the next few chapters which I hope you will like. I just feel weird writing Brittana angst when all I want is Brittana back together on the actual show but oh well.**

**Also sorry this chapter was a bit short it was gonna be much longer but like I said I split it into like 3 separate chapters instead. Next chapter is longer I think and more dramatic. **

**Next chapter teaser: Rachel makes a big decision about her and Santana's life together. But will Santana like it?**

**Please leave a review with your thoughts, next chapter is already written so if I get enough encouragement I will update faster. Thanks for reading. Follow me on twitter for more teasers or to ask questions if you have any. Link on profile page. **


	10. Chapter 10

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 10

**PAIRINGS:**

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Brittana (Santana/ Brittany)

**RATING: **M

**A/N: ****Thank you to those of you who liked the last chapter I know some of you didn't because of what Rachel did but remember she didn't do it for her or Santana's pleasure she did it to prove her point that Santana wanted her. It wasn't just sex to write sex. In case you didn't notice Rachel was rather bitter about it and the things she asked and said to Santana during it weren't exactly romantic were they? If you didn't pick up on her spiteful attitude at the time go back and re-read it and see. I know you all want Britt and Kurt gone so Pezberry can get back on track and I can assure you they will leave in the next chapter. **

**I'm gonna start a review response before each chapter I won't mention all of them but thank you to everyone who left a lovely review. I have to laugh when I get a rude one because I'm reading it and thinking 'has glee taught you nothing?'**

**Review response: **

**ichigo111981:**** Don't lose respect for Rachel I told you she did it for a reason and it will help move the story along I promise.**

**sammywammy1120:**** Thank you I see you understand.**

**Me1313:**** Yes Santana needs to stand up already. She does still love Brittany but that love has changed unfortunately that is life but she **_**does**_** still love her. It's just complicated.**

**broadwaybound2016:**** Wow that's a lot of excitement haha, glad to hear it. It's good you love the story I appreciate your support :)**

**LovingJacobBlack:**** A lot of questions haha. Okay so yes they are still there but they will be leaving in the next chapter. Rachel will go out with someone when Britt and Kurt have gone, though I'm not gonna say who it will be just yet. Rachel knows what she wants and though she may not have the strength to get it she certainly has the smarts ;)**

**Ariana2112****: Thank you I try really hard with this story so that's great to hear. Hope you continue to read and enjoy.**

**greenstacks89:**** I couldn't really work out if you were being positive or negative but as you use the word 'lame' I'm gonna guess the latter. I can assure you I have nothing 'lame' planned for this story but if that's the way you view it then I don't really know why you are reading it to be honest. Brittany isn't a violent person and I have no intention of writing her as such but I know what I have planned is much better than her just running away like a baby but I guess you won't find out as you believe it to be 'lame' so won't be reading it right? I will be dealing with things in a realistic way while keeping the people who do like the story happy at the same time. **

**Ok so that's it for now everyone else that I didn't respond to thank you for the reviews you guys are great keep them coming :) On with the real reason why you are all here…(Big revelation at the end of this chapter)**

Since the 'incident' Rachel had practically ignored Santana, giving her the cold shoulder and silent treatment whenever she had the chance.

Rachel acted the same way the next day, constantly avoiding eye contact and deliberately leaving the room if Santana were to enter and Santana couldn't work out what game she was playing. Why was Rachel suddenly being so cold to her _now_ when before she couldn't stop trying to get her to admit her feelings for her? The idea Rachel was playing with her like this just hurt but then she knew she had been doing the same thing to Rachel, even if she didn't mean it.

Santana was pretty smart and she knew Rachel was trying to get a rise out of her of some kind; she wanted to get the Latina to admit that there was _something_ between them even if they both didn't really know how to define whatever the hell they actually were.

The way Rachel was acting was completely out of character, she was usually so loud and upfront but Santana had never seen her so uncaring. And Santana had to admit it _was_ getting to her. She couldn't even have sex with her own girlfriend that night because she couldn't stop thinking about Rachel, which had to mean something right?

The next morning Santana was sat in the kitchen rather depressed as she drunk her coffee. Not only was she overwhelmed with so many new yet old feelings she also knew tonight was Brittany's last night in New York City. Which meant after today she and Rachel would have no shield, there would be no barrier and she didn't know if she would be able to control herself.

She had let Rachel go down on her when Brittany was just simply out of the apartment; god knows how her body would react once Brittany was back in Lima. She groaned just thinking about it, burying her face into her arms on the kitchen table.

Brittany was in the bathroom taking a hot morning shower while Rachel was still asleep at least Santana assumed she was. Not that Santana had noticed but Rachel had clearly been avoiding her and apparently now she was sleeping in till late just so she didn't have to get up and deal with life.

Santana just hoped she wasn't planning on staying with this new routine when she has to go back to school in a few days.

Santana let out a loud sigh just thinking about how in such a short time her life and relationship with Rachel had grown to be the most confusing thing she'd ever had to deal with. She never expected anything to come between her and Brittany, she always assumed her relationship with the blond was sturdy and unbreakable and she wished it still was. She always imagined herself growing old with Brittany, having a life and a family with her and definitely marrying her, but now she had no idea what the future held for her. Santana wished so hard she could just go back in time and stop all this from happening in the first place.

"Morning" a chipper voice sounded as Kurt entered the kitchen.

"How can you be so fucking bouncy in the morning?" Santana asked with another groan.

"Maybe because I'm not cheating on my girlfriend with the girl I room with" he smile as he grabbed some breakfast cereal and poured it into a bowl

Santana quickly shot him a glare "Shut the fuck up Kurt" she hushed him as she looked towards the door to make sure Brittany wasn't around.

Kurt chuckled at the Latina's overreaction "Relax I wouldn't have said it if I knew she was there. But I'm not the bad guy here remember, that's your role" he pointed at her with a spoon as he sat down with his quickly made cereal. There was no milk or sugar, he was just basically eating a bowl of 'Fruit Loops' with nothing on them.

"Don't you think I know that? You think I don't feel bad enough as it is?" she growled.

He shrugged "I don't know what to think anymore Santana. I have no clue what's really going on inside you right now but I could guess. Though I don't really wanna end up backed up against the wall again so I'm gonna leave it alone for now"

Santana rolled her eyes.

"Anyway I wanted to talk to you" Kurt said.

"Look if this is another lecture Hummel please save it ok? I've had enough for a lifetime" Santana shook her head not wanting to hear it.

"No actually I was gonna suggest that you and I should cook dinner for the girls tonight. I mean it's mine and Brittany's last day and night in New York before we have to leave and I think it would be nice to just have one civil dinner together" he explained.

Santana looked at him from across the kitchen table. She liked the idea but she knew it wouldn't be as 'fun' as Kurt hoped it would be. "I don't know Kurt I mean Rachel isn't even looking in my direction right now let alone talking to me, I just don't think-"

Kurt cut her off "Enough. I don't want to hear what you can't do Santana. For once tell me what you _can_ do"

"But I can barely even cook" she shrugged.

"You don't have to, I am an awesome cook. All you have to do is help and I'm sure you can chop vegetables right?"

"Of course"

"Then it's settled, me and you are cooking for our ladies tonight. Whoever your lady is, is still to be determined"

Santana narrowed her eyes at Kurt again "_Brittany_. Brittany is my woman Kurt. I love _Brittany_" she stated.

"Aww I love you too baby" a sweet voice interrupted.

Both teens turned to see said blond walking into the kitchen. Brittany was dressed and had wet hair as she yawned and walked towards her girlfriend. She dropped down on Santana's lap and wrapped her arms around the Latina's neck before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Morning baby" Brittany greeted moving some of Santana's dark hair to the side so she could see her gorgeous girlfriend's face.

"Morning" Santana replied with a soft smile and then shot another glare at Kurt who just shook his head and rolled his eyes. It hurt him keeping such a secret from Brittany but he wasn't about to break the girl's heart, he knew that was up to Santana.

"Good morrow Kurt" Brittany said in a very realistic British accent before cracking into a fit of giggles as Santana tried her best to hold on to the blond girl to keep her from tumbling off her lap.

Kurt threw the girl a salute "Top of the morning Brittany dear" he replied in his own version of a British accent, though it wasn't quite as good as the girl's. In fact it was so bad Santana and Brittany burst into an even louder laughter and Kurt just frowned. "Hey she started it" he moaned pointing to Brittany who settled down into the seat next to Santana before stealing some of Kurt's cereal with her bare hands.

"Ooh I love Fruit Loops" she announced as she tipped the handful she had grabbed into her mouth.

Kurt rolled his eyes with a smile "Sure Britt help yourself" he said sarcastically as he pushed his bowl towards the blond so she didn't have to stretch so much to s_teal_ his breakfast.

"Don't mind if I do" Brittany laughed.

"Well I didn't seem to the first time" he smiled at her as she excitedly took another handful.

"Hey, where's Rachel isn't she normally up by now?" Brittany wondered as she chewed on her stolen cereal (though if you asked her she would say she liberated it rather than stole it)

"Oh I think she's still asleep-" Santana started but was soon cut off by Kurt.

"No actually she's been up for hours. Said she couldn't sleep last night, so she went out to have some time to herself. I think she said she was meeting up with Brody or something" Kurt shrugged.

"Brody?" Santana asked with slight jealousy though she clearly tried not to sound it.

"Who's Brody?" Brittany wondered looking back and forth between her girlfriend and Kurt.

Kurt shrugged again "Apparently he's like this really hot guy at NYADA. I've never met him but I've seen a pic from her phone and I have to admit he is pretty yummy. Actually they've been spending a _lot_ of time together recently and I know he has a crush on Rachel. I think they'd make a cute couple. What do you think Santana?" Kurt asked trying oh so hard to hide his smirk.

Santana glared at Kurt, she knew exactly what the boy was trying to do but it wasn't going to work. "Whatever, if Rachel wants to whore around that's her choice, I couldn't give a shit"

"Ooh do you think he was the one who gave Rachel that hickey when we first got here?" Brittany said almost in awe of the possibility.

"No, it wasn't him!" Santana stated louder than she had meant.

"Well if it wasn't Brody then who was it? Maybe she's got a secret boyfriend on the side" Kurt chuckled knowing how much he was winding up the Latina right now. "I mean it's not like you can know everything about Rachel Santana. How do you _know _it wasn't him?"

"Whatever I'm done with this conversation. I don't give a fuck who Rachel sells herself to. She's none of my business" she practically growled at Kurt with a threatening frown before standing up and taking her coffee and walking out the kitchen not wanting to hear anymore.

Brittany looked confused as she turned to Kurt "What's her problem?"

"What isn't her problem?" he retorted almost bitterly.

_A couple of hours later…_

Santana was sat lazily on the couch with a can of coke in her hand occasionally sipping at it while flicking through the TV channels trying to find anything to keep her entertained. Kurt walked into the room with an apron on and a stern look. He dropped a single brightly coloured sticky note on her lap and looked down at her.

Santana was caught off guard by the paper and embarrassingly enough she actually jumped when it floated down in front of her face before landing at her crotch. She picked it up and frowned at it. "What the fuck is this?" she asked the boy who still stood there expectantly.

"What does it look like Santana?"

"It looks like your grandma's grocery list"

"Close. It's actually _our_ grocery list. That's the stuff I need you to get for the dinner tonight" he stated

Santana read the list, there wasn't too much to get but half of it she had never heard of before. "Why do _I_ have to get this crap?"

"Because _I'm_ the one who will be doing most of the cooking and so I'm giving you a job I know you can actually do" he smiled at her.

Santana stood up from the couch putting down her soda to confront the boy "And where am I supposed to get this stuff, most of these are vegan ingredients"

"The same place Rachel gets it any other time. That little vegan store a couple of blocks from here she always talks about" Kurt informed her.

Santana scrunched up her nose and groaned "Oh but it smells weird in there and the cashier is like a thousand years old" she whined remembering it well from the times Rachel had dragged her around it.

"Santana we are about to cook dinner for both of your girlfriends, I think a funky aroma and an ancient cashier are the least of your worries" he gave a half sympathetic smile before it turned into a smirk.

Santana shoved Kurt away "Fuck off Hummel. You're just lucky I got paid last week" she said knowing how much some of this crap cost. She quickly grabbed her jacket and threw it on before picking up her keys.

"And don't be too long, we have a time limit here Satan!" Kurt yelled at her as he danced back into the kitchen. Santana threw him the finger but knew he wasn't looking; this was no time for dancing.

Santana opened the front door making sure to shove the list into her jacket pocket before leaving the apartment. She made her way towards the elevator in their apartment building and waited for the doors to open.

She heard the ping as the elevator reached her floor and the doors open she was just about to step in when Rachel stepped out. Not really looking where she was going Rachel walked right into Santana almost knocking her down. "Oh I'm so sor- oh it's just you" Rachel stopped and her smile instantly faded when she saw Santana.

Santana's already deep frown grew deeper when Rachel tried to walk off without another word. She reached out and grabbed the diva's arm. "Hey wait Rach"

Rachel stopped briefly but didn't turn around to look at Santana "Let go of me Santana. I told you I'm done with you"

"No I won't, we need to talk" Santana insisted walking around Rachel so the girl would look at her.

Rachel just crossed her arms over her chest and darted her eyes away from the Latina. "What do you want Santana. You want to tell me how much you love Brittany? Or maybe you wanna describe the last time you two had sex?" the smaller girl asked bitterly.

"Don't start that Rachel, it's not like you haven't been out slutting it up with that jerk from school"

Rachel's eyes locked onto Santana's angry ones for the first time "Like you can talk Santana, you want me but you want Brittany, you can't have it both ways and you have no right to tell me who I can and can't see. I like Brody he's a good friend and it's none of your business what or who I do" Rachel shouted defending herself.

"You're doing this deliberately Rachel, you don't even like him in that way you're just leading him on to make me jealous and you know it. You _know_ I _hate_ him, he's a punk and he doesn't treat girls the way they should be treated. He's just a player!" Santana barked

Rachel gave a humourless laugh "God you have some fucking nerve Santana, like _you_ treat me with any respect anymore. And I'm not doing it to make you jealous it's not like I'm your girlfriend or anything you have no claim over me. If I want to be with Brody then I will _be_ with Brody"

The girls both stood in the hallway looking at each other as a silence took over them. Neither girl wanted to speak next. Rachel knew she was in fact doing this to make Santana jealous but she wasn't about to tell her that. And Santana couldn't take the thought of that bastard touching her girl even if Rachel wasn't really _her_ girl.

Santana sighed and opened her mouth first, though this time her words were softer almost as if all her anger was drained away and she had nothing left inside her "Why are you acting like this?"

Rachel looked deep into Santana's eyes; she could see the defeat in them so she too also lowered her tone. "Like what?"

"Like you don't care anymore" Santana shrugged not really knowing how else to put it.

Rachel chuckled again, just as humourlessly as the first time then she shrugged her shoulders just like Santana did. "Because I don't anymore Santana. I have tried to show you how I feel and you just throw it back in my face. I'm done wasting my emotion on you when you clearly don't care"

Santana felt her heart break more than she was willing to admit when she heard how broken Rachel sounded, how broken Rachel physically looked and as she looked into Rachel's eyes it was clear the diva had been crying most of the morning. "I've never said I don't care about you Rachel"

"Yeah well you could have fooled me. You've spent the past two weeks acting like I don't even exist and to be honest Santana I'm sick of it. I want to move on. I wish I could just forget you and everything I feel for you but I can't, no matter how much I try or cry I can't do it. I can't because my heart won't let me and do you know how that makes me feel? How you make me feel?" Rachel's eyes were filling with brand new tears and Santana could feel the sting of her own tears listening to the girl speak.

She knew Rachel had feelings for her but to have Rachel stand so broken and defeated in front of her, it was like the smaller girl was naked and exposing every last piece of herself. Santana could practically feel the hurt Rachel was feeling reflecting into her own heart, because honestly she had been feeling the same thing.

There was more silence as the girls just stood there but Rachel soon broke it by speaking up once more and continuing, slightly more confidently this time.

"If you're so cool acting like you don't care then so can I be. I'm giving up Santana. I'm done with feeling like crap around you" Rachel shrugged before wiping at the tears that had begun to stream down her face.

Santana went to speak but Rachel quickly stopped her "Maybe one day you'll open your eyes and see the truth but until then I can't keep doing this, _feeling_ like this. I need to let you go and I can only do that if I'm not surrounded by you and so we shouldn't be doing this anymore"

Though Rachel's words hurt, Santana knew Rachel was right. They shouldn't be doing what they have been doing. It was wrong and she had known that all along. Even if they hadn't had sex for a while it was still wrong to be having these feelings especially when she had Brittany only a few feet away.

"Maybe you're right, we shouldn't be doing this and we need to stop" the Latina stated not at all confident with what she was saying like Rachel had appeared to be.

Honestly Rachel was hoping Santana would say something else but she didn't. She just stood there like she had done every other time they had talked about this afraid to say what was really on her mind. So Rachel only had one choice.

"Maybe I should just move out"

Santana's eyes shot wide, but she didn't know what to say. The next thing she knew her mouth was opening and she was responding "Yeah maybe you should"

Rachel shook her head disappointed Santana still couldn't speak her heart. "Fine" was all Rachel replied before pushing past Santana and continuing towards their shared apartment.

"Rachel, wait!" Santana called out but Rachel only responded by slamming the door to their apartment after she had stepped inside. "Fuck!" Santana curse to herself. "Fucking idiot Lopez" she growled and clenched her fists as she stormed back towards the elevator and smashed at the button to get it back up.

Rachel on the other hand ran straight to her room before Kurt or worse Brittany could come to greet her and collapsed on her bed to overthink _everything_.

At the Vegan store:

Santana was still half pissed and half depressed. She was mad at Rachel for wanting to leave her and for fooling around with other people but she knew she didn't have to the right to be. Rachel had stated that very clearly and she knew the diva was right. But she was also pissed at herself. How she could not only treat Rachel in the way she had been recently but also make Rachel believe that she didn't care about her.

The sheer thought of Rachel moving out of their apartment because of her upset her. She didn't want to live there without Rachel; she didn't want to wake up each morning knowing Rachel wasn't around. Or know she would walk into the kitchen for her morning coffee and not see Rachel already awake and alert ready for college while she herself was still half dead.

With all her emotions once again flooding her heart and mind with confusion Santana picked up a shopping basket and pulled out the list that Kurt gave her. Some of the stuff she recognised knowing Rachel had purchased them before so those things were pretty easy to find.

The rest of the stuff she had to ask a shop assistant for help to find due to the fact she couldn't be bothered to search for them knowing Kurt wanted her back as quickly as possible. Plus with all her emotions flying out of control right now she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on finding the named brands Kurt had written down.

Once the basket was full of the ingredients she was sent to pick up Santana went towards the check-out. She smiled when she saw that the old lady that was usually working the checkout was replaced by a much younger girl, about her age. Santana recognised her from the many trips to the store she had been on with Rachel and the girl smiled at her when she put her items on the conveyor belt to pay for them.

"Hey Santana" the girl greeted happily, it wasn't a surprise the girl knew her name, she was pretty sure Rachel was rather friendly with most of the staff in the store as she was like their best customer after all.

"Hey, how's it going?" Santana replied not actually knowing the pretty girl's name herself but she was rather happy the girl was faster at putting the items through the check-out than the old lady was.

"It's going good how about you?"

"Um…I'm good" Santana replied slowly not really wanting to get into a conversation about her many romantic problems with a girl she only knew by face.

"That's $21.39 cents" the girl stated putting her items into a grocery bag.

"Wow you're fast at that" Santana chuckled as she handed over some money to pay.

"I'm fast at a lot of things" she husked in a flirty way before winking at Santana.

"Oh…ok" Santana smiled back not really knowing if that was meant to be sexy or not.

"I'm surprised you need more food already, Rachel was in here earlier" the girl said guessing her flirting wasn't really working the way she had hoped.

Santana frowned "Wait she was? When?"

The girl shrugged "I don't know a couple of hours ago maybe. I think she was just like hanging around here to be honest, she didn't buy much"

"That's weird…was she with a dude, a cocky looking dude?"

"No she was alone. Why is there a problem or something?" the girl wondered.

Santana shook her head "No everything's fine. I'll catch you later, I gotta go cook a stupid dinner that's guaranteed to be the most awkward thing I've ever had to sit through" Santana moaned picking up her bag of overpriced groceries and waving to the girl before leaving.

"Bye San"

Back at the apartment:

Santana returned to the apartment even more confused, it didn't sound like Rachel was out with Brody at all this morning like Kurt had claimed she was. She wondered if Rachel was lying to her but it wasn't like it mattered whether Rachel was single or hooking up with Brody it still wasn't her problem because Rachel _wasn't_ her girlfriend. A fact the diva herself and even her own heart kept reminding her of daily.

Santana choose not to question the situation for now, she needed to get through tonight. After all this was the last day she would get to be with her _actual_ girlfriend Brittany before the blond left and she wanted to enjoy it the best she could and make it memorable for the girl. Though the simple thought that Rachel was going to move out just wouldn't leave her mind, she kept reminding herself of how much she would miss Rachel if she wasn't around.

Santana held the grocery bag in one hand while opening the door to her apartment with the other. She stumbled inside and kicked the door closed behind her before making her way into the kitchen where Kurt already had some pots and pans heating up on the oven burners.

"Finally!" Kurt exclaimed as he saw Santana enter the room with the much needed ingredients.

"What do you mean 'finally' I was only gone like an hour Hummel" Santana complained.

"Just quit arguing and wash your hands then go cut those vegetable on the side and make sure you cut them finely and not in massive chunks" he ordered pointing to a bunch of green and red vegetables on the kitchen counter.

Santana rolled her eyes and got to chopping once her hands were clean. "Where's…um…where's Brittany?"

"She's getting washed up for dinner. She got really excited when I told her we were actually cooking for her. Well she got excited _after_ laughing at the fact you would be doing anything in the kitchen that was more than heating up a ready meal" Kurt chuckled. "But what you really meant to ask was 'where's Rachel', right?"

Santana stopped cutting for a few seconds "Um…where is Rachel?" she asked not even bothering to pretend she wasn't thinking of the girl.

"Well the last time I checked she was in her bedroom crying about _you_ as usual" Kurt sighed.

"What do you mean as usual? She's cried about me before, like a lot?" Santana turned to Kurt.

"What do you think Santana? God you really are oblivious sometimes. You're worse than a straight guy" Kurt shook his head in disbelief.

Santana didn't reply. She knew Rachel had teared up over her but she didn't really know the girl spent a long time sobbing profusely over her. She continued chopping the vegtbales for the next twenty minutes getting destracted by the many thoughts running through her mind about everything she had learned so far today.

Rachel was moving out. Rachel was lying to her. Rachel cried over her. All of these things made Santana's chest hurt.

Brittany came bouncing into the room as Santana continued chopping and Kurt was busy doing the actual cooking, aka the hard part of the whole plan. But to be honest Kurt didn't trust Santana to go near his dish. He wanted it to be perfect in order to cheer Rachel up and plus he was gay and was meant to be good at stuff like this and he'd be damn if he fucked this up because Santana put a finger wrong.

"Hey baby" Brittany smiled as she walked up behind Santana and wrapped her arms around the Latina's hips before planting a kiss on the girl's tanned smooth neck. "Hmm you smell sweaty"

"It's the onions" Santana replied pointing to the half chopped onion she was working her way through.

Brittany could see the tears that were streaming down her girlfriend's face and wiped at them "Oh my god babe why are you crying?" she laughed a little at the sight of Santana's red eyes.

Santana wiped at her eyes herself before answering "It's the fucking onions" she insisted with a growl and flipped Kurt the finger when he too joined in on the laughing.

"Put them in that pot once you're done sobbing over them" Kurt giggled gesturing towards a boiling pot on top of the oven.

Santana sneered at him before finishing the onion off and dropping it into the said pot.

"Ooh is there anything I can do to help?" Brittany asked with bright eyes.

"No Britt this is your treat just sit back and relax" Santana smiled.

The blond just sat down at the kitchen table and pouted back at her girlfriend "Oh but I wanted to help. You're all sweaty and Kurt is rushed off his feet doing all the cooking. Isn't there anything I can do?"

"Well I guess you could set the table, dinner will be ready soon" Kurt suggested and Santana nodded.

"Yay I get to help!" Brittany bellowed as she jumped back up and went to get the plates and cutlery from the drawers.

Santana went to the sink to wash her face of tear stains before looking at Kurt "Why did you lie to me this morning?" she asked softly as she towel dried her face.

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

Santana looked over at her girlfriend who was setting out plates and utensils so perfectly she wasn't listening anyway, she was far too busy making sure they all lined up. "You said Rachel was out with Brody but I know for a fact she was alone this morning"

Kurt stopped all movement and looked at Santana "Why do you even care Santana? Why does it matter anyway? In fact I'm pretty sure this morning you said you didn't give a crap"

"I _don't_ I just don't like being lied to" Santana tried to get mad over the lie but she just couldn't. She still felt drained of all emotion and it was hard to be mad over something that in theory had nothing to do with her.

"Santana look, this is the last night Brittany and I will be here. Don't ruin it" Kurt stated simply before going back to stir his sauce.

The heat of the kitchen was starting to get to her as well as her overflow of emotions and feelings so she stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room only to find Rachel standing there holding her cell phone up to her ear.

"So it's cool? Ok thanks so much Brody, bye" she caught the end of Rachel's conversation before Rachel hung her phone up and turned around to see Santana standing there. Her temporary smile instantly dropped. "What are you spying on me now?" she asked looking down at her phone.

Santana ignored her childish question to ask one of her own "Why were you taking to him?"

"I called him. He said I could stay at his place until I find a place of my own" Rachel said noting the immediate empty look that appeared on Santana's face. She had never seen Santana so pale before. In fact she didn't even think it was possible for Santana to get _that_ pale but here she was proving her wrong. Rachel waited for the Latina to say something but when nothing came out of the girl's mouth she spoke again. "Santana-"

"Whatever!" Santana was quick to interrupt not wanting Rachel to repeat it. "Do what you want" she whispered so quietly Rachel almost didn't hear her before she rushed to her bedroom slamming the door shut behind her.

Rachel sighed and just walked back into her room. It was obvious Santana was jealous but maybe it wasn't working the way she originally hoped her plan would. Santana was still too stubborn to admit to anything or so it would seem.

Santana felt a sudden rage of jealousy rush over her and lashed out, kicking the first thing she came into contact with which just so happened to be her dresser. She hit it hard with the tip of her shoe and instantly regretted it.

"FUCK!" she growled as the pain throbbed through her foot. She stumbled back to her bed and sat down holding her injured foot close to her as she gritted her teeth through the pain and tugged off her shoe.

She couldn't just let Rachel walk out of her life like she was planning on doing could she? She knew it would be best, if they didn't see each other constantly at least she wouldn't keep getting these urges towards the small brunette if she wasn't around to be seen. Out of sight out of mind right? Wrong. She couldn't bare the thought of it and she didn't want it to become a reality in her life.

"San dinner is ready" Brittany popped her head around the bedroom door to announce. Santana looked up and saw Brittany's blond head smiling at her but when the girl noticed Santana was in pain she immediately walked further into the room to console her. "Oh my god, San are you ok baby?" she asked frantically, sitting down on the bed next to her girlfriend.

Brittany placed her hands where Santana's were on her foot before knocking the smaller pair off to take over rubbing the injury. "I'm fine Britt. It's just a stubbed toe, nothing serious" the Latina lied. It _did_ hurt like a bitch.

"Aww baby let me make it better" Brittany suggested and got on her knees in front of Santana to kiss her toe better. She placed several soft and gentle loving kisses to her sock covered toe.

"Britt come on you'll get sock in your mouth" Santana chuckled watching her girlfriend continue to care for her pain.

Brittany smiled up at the Latina "Hmm but I got you to smile again didn't I?" she giggled before leaning up to press another kiss to Santana's lips.

Santana happily accepted the kiss and she realised this was the first real kiss the couple had shared in some time where she wasn't stiff or attempting to pull away. She liked it, feeling Brittany's soft lips against hers; it reminded her of everything she had been risking by having this affair or whatever it was with Rachel. But as Brittany pulled back and they locked eyes, crystal blue with chocolate brown, she couldn't help but feel that it just wasn't the same as it once used to be not that long ago.

"Are you ok?" Brittany nervously questioned.

Santana bit her bottom lip before answering "I'm good Britt. I just wanna have a perfect evening with you because I won't see you again after this"

Brittany chuckled "again? San I'm not dying, I'm just going back to Lima. We will still have the phone calls and Skype and I'm not going anywhere remember? Besides you said you'd come visit me at home for a weekend real soon remember you said that?" Brittany nudged her girlfriend.

"Of course I remember" Santana smiled as she cupped the blond's face.

"Then don't be a sad panda. Let's just have fun tonight and make the most of it" Brittany stated placing her hand over Santana's that was still against her cheek. She leaned into it and placed a kiss to the Latina's palm. "I love you"

Santana smiled but didn't respond with words; instead she pulled her girlfriend in for another kiss.

"Santana! Brittany! Come on dinner will get cold!" Kurt's voice interrupted the sweet embrace and both girls pulled away with a sigh.

"Fucking Hummel" Santana groaned and put her shoe back on.

"Come on baby, let's go eat" Brittany said excitedly and held her hand out for Santana to take.

In the kitchen:

Kurt was busy pouring his Hummel recipe sauce over the pasta he had made. It may have looked simple but Kurt would battle to the death to ensure it wasn't. The smell filled the whole apartment and made mouths water. Rachel had made her way into the kitchen and was making herself a nuisance by trying to steal some of the pasta.

"Hey if I catch you stealing one last time I'm gonna smack you with this" Kurt threatened the girl with his wooden spoon and a playful frown. Rachel giggled (for once) as she reached for a bread roll Kurt had set out in a basket but only got the wooden spoon to the back of her hand.

"Hey that hurt" she whimpered with fake tears.

Kurt shrugged "I did warn you Miss Berry" he laughed before going back to plating up the food.

Rachel turned around to take her seat at the kitchen table when she saw Brittany walk in pulling Santana along hand in hand. Her smile quickly faded as she looked away, Santana couldn't help but notice the instant change in atmosphere when they entered the room and from instinct let go of Brittany's hand.

The blond was oblivious and left Santana behind her as she went over to where the fantastic smell was coming from. "Wow that smells better than armpits Kurt" she said in awe as she watched Kurt work.

"I'll take that as a compliment coming from you Britt" he chuckled knowing the girl's odd fetish for said body part. Brittany just frantically nodded as she also attempted to grab a bread roll only to be threatened by Kurt's wooden weapon also.

Santana anxiously took her seat opposite Rachel at the table, the diva was looking down at the floor while Santana just stared at her. She thought about making small talk but what was the point Rachel had made up her mind. Rachel wanted to leave her and with that thought in mind she couldn't help the sting she felt in her chest. Santana refused to let any tears fall though; she wasn't going to cry over a girl that wasn't her girlfriend.

Santana could hear Brittany and Kurt giggling over to her right side but they were so drowned out they sounded like they were a million miles away. All she could hear clearly was her heartbeat and the only thing in focus was Rachel. The girl was beautiful there's no denying that. It was here Santana realised just how stupid she had been, trying to have a friends-with-benefits relationship with a girl like Rachel was just _stupid_. She was so smart, funny, lovable, talented and gorgeous, how could someone _not_ fall for her?

"Here we go" Kurt's voice broke Santana out of her thoughts as the boy placed a steaming hot plate of pasta down in front of her and another down in front of Rachel. "Enjoy pasta a la Kurt Hummel" he said before walking off to go and get his own.

Brittany came over with her plate and took a seat next to Santana. The blond admired the talentedly chopped vegetables her girlfriend had created. Kurt threw off his apron and joined the girls at the table next to Rachel. He was facing Brittany while Santana was facing Rachel, he realised maybe he should have positioned the chairs a little better because now this just got even more awkward. Oh well he figured the girls could use some time to actually be in the same room in a civil manner and with clothes on of course.

Santana still completely lost in her thoughts picked up her fork and dipped it into her food bringing a forkful of pasta to her lips. Another decision she instantly regretted once the steaming hot sauce burnt her lips.

"Holy crap! That's fucking hot." She dropped her fork back on the table before reaching for the glass of water next to her. She chugged it down while Brittany just sat there giggling and Kurt attempting not to laugh because he didn't want to get his ass kicked again.

When Santana had cooled her lips and went to put the almost empty glass back on the table she caught a glimpse of Rachel finally looking at her, a small smile tugging at the diva's lips, a smile in which Rachel was clearly desperately trying to hide. As soon as they locked eyes Rachel darted hers away once more and Santana knew that was the most civil exchange they had had in weeks.

Even if Rachel was determined to not talk to her for the rest of the evening Santana was happy that she at least got a smile out of the otherwise heartbroken girl. The thought alone was enough to make the stinging in her lips feel less of a problem. Though with that realisation came another. One that told her she wouldn't see that smile again if Rachel were to really move out. She didn't know whether she could cope with that one.

The foursome continued to eat their food making small talk along the way, mostly in their pairs but occasionally Santana spared a word or two to Kurt just to make the situation more entertaining. "So are you looking forward to seeing Blaine again? I bet you've missed his bowties and ass right?" Santana asked in her signature manner.

Kurt shook his head because let's face it anything that comes from Santana's mouth is pretty much half insult. "I guess I am, but just because I'm gay doesn't mean we love ass all the time"

"Uh huh sure you don't. What else do two guys do together other than their ass?" Santana asked not really looking for an answer. Brittany looked at the boy with interest, she obviously wanted one.

"Um there are plenty of things we can do…uh well for one thing-" Kurt was quickly cut off by Santana.

"So just blow jobs?" she wondered with a devious smile.

Kurt almost choked on his food and had to take a sip of his own water. "Well that's on the list too but there are a whole bunch of sexual acts two men can perform with one another just like two women" Kurt insisted pointing at the two girls in front of him.

"Are you kidding? Girls have _way more_ options than two guys" Santana stated no room for argument.

"Can we please talk about something else? This is hardly good dinner conversation" the boy requested.

Santana shrugged waiting for Kurt to pick a new subject.

"I wanna talk about how much I'm gonna miss New York" Brittany said. "But I'm especially gonna miss spending time with my wonderful girlfriend" the blond threw an arm around the Latina and pulled her in for a sloppy kiss on the cheek getting sauce on Santana's face.

Kurt gave the blond a sweet smile though he couldn't help but feel a little awkward due to the fact Rachel was still sitting right next to him. He wanted to coo at the pair but didn't want Rachel thinking he was on team Brittana, because he wasn't. Well he wasn't on either team really, this whole situation made him uncomfortable. All the lies and secrets and crying and Kleenex it was all too much for him. But at the end of the day Rachel was his best friend and he hated seeing her so depressed.

"I think I'm done" Rachel spoke up for the first time since they sat down for dinner. Kurt looked at her with a surprised expression. "Dinner was lovely thank you Kurt, but I need to go take a shower. I feel really, really…dirty" she said sadly as she glanced for only a split second at Santana before standing up and taking her plate to the sink. She quickly wiped away a stray tear before walking out of the room and into the bathroom.

Kurt didn't really know what to say, Rachel hadn't spoken to him for most of the day but he could figure out s_omething_ had upset her again and he would bet his parents mortgage and entire college fund on that _something_ being a certain Latina that sat only inches away from him.

Santana face said it all, she watched as Rachel left the room. Debating with herself about whether or not she should go and talk to the girl but feeling a hand squeeze her arm stopped her. "Hey what's wrong with Rachel? She seems really sad" Brittany spoke softly.

"Yeah she does" Kurt responded just as softly as he glanced at Santana before looking back at his food.

Santana didn't give an answer at all, what could she say after all?

The three continued their meal mostly in silence for the next ten minutes; Brittany wanted to start a new conversation but didn't really know what to talk about. The atmosphere was intense for all the wrong reasons.

Finally Brittany decided to break the silence with a safe subject. "Wow Kurt that was amazing. It was like an orgasm in my mouth and I've only ever had Santana's orgasm in my mouth before. Your pasta was just as good" the blond girl smiled happily.

Kurt again took that as a compliment "Why thank you Britt, I'm glad you enjoyed my orgasmic pasta" he chuckled picking up the three empty plates and taking them to the sink where Rachel's was already sat.

As he stared at Rachel's plate he couldn't take his mind off the fact she was so broken down over her feelings for Santana. He wished there was something he could do to make this all go away, to make it right again.

"Anyone up for a movie!?" Brittany loudly asked her friends with a hopeful expression.

"Sure Britt" Santana replied.

Kurt turned to face the girls "I don't know I should probably get these dishes washed" he gestured to the pile of plates, bowls, pots, pans and utensils he had used in the making of his famous family pasta.

"Oh come on Kurtie you can do that anytime. I promise we can find a romantic comedy with a hot leading man" Brittany bargained

Kurt rolled his eyes at the offer; the girl knew how to buy him that's for sure. "Ok, ok you got me. I'll watch a movie with you Britt" he smiled.

"Yes!" Brittany punched the air and bounced on the spot in celebration before running over to the boy to take his hand and leading him into the living room.

Santana shuddered at the thought of a Rom-Com, she hated them but knew Brittany obviously loved them so she only sat through them for sexytimes after which Brittany always gave her as a reward for not complaining. But this time around Santana wasn't all that excited for that compromise.

She looked over at the empty seat where Rachel had been sat and considered once again going to talk to her but as the diva said she was going to go and take a shower, Santana figured that probably wouldn't be the best idea.

With a final groan she reluctantly made her way towards the living room where her girlfriend and Kurt were already flicking through the TV channels to find something to watch. The pair managed to find Rachel and Santana's shared Netflix account and continued to look through the films available on there. "Ooh how about Love Actually?" Brittany asked

"Ew too British" Kurt waved a hand dismissing that option immediately though he did occasionally like a sexy British accent.

"The Vow?"

"I'm not looking to cry here Britt"

"So I guess The Notebook is out of the question too and My Sisters Keeper?" Brittany smirked knowing Kurt would just break down at those movies.

"Ooh how about Made of Honor?" Kurt asked

"And that's _not_ too British?" Santana sneered

"I've never seen that. What's it about?" Brittany asked intrigued.

"Um it's about this guy played by Patrick Dempsey who is best friends with this woman Hannah and Hannah meets this guy and they get engaged and then Patrick's character realises he's actually in love with Hannah and kinda always has been a little bit but never really figured it out till he almost lost her and he will do anything to get her" Kurt explained taking a simple glance at Santana who was standing in the doorway of the living room.

"Aww that sounds really sweet" Brittany cooed "Let's watch that one"

"Yeah its always amazing when two people that are in love but don't know it finally come together" Kurt stated his intentions clear as he went to sit on the couch.

Brittany quickly went to join him wanting to get comfortable for the movie. She looked over at her still standing girlfriend "Hey San is this yours?" she asked gesturing to the film they were about to watch.

The Latina shook her head "Um no, it's Rachel's. They're all Rachel's" she said softly wondering if the fact Rachel had all these Romantic comedies on their Netflix was supposed to show her something, give her some kind of sign. Especially with the fact Brittany and Kurt had chosen to watch one she couldn't help think hit close to home right now. "Well except The Vow, that one is mine" she said quietly, blushing as the words left her mouth.

"Aww baby I didn't know you liked that movie. I would have loved to of watched it with you" Brittany smiled at her girlfriend's slightly softer side; it has always been the side she loves the most about the girl. Kurt just chuckled at the thought of Santana liking any movie that was rated under NC- 17.

Santana shot Kurt her death glare when she noticed him trying to hide his laughing "What I have a crush on Rachel ok? Um McAdams, Rachel McAdams" she shrugged trying to be nonchalantly, but she had to admit to herself the narrative about making someone fall in love with you all over again made her smile and warmed her heart.

"Come on baby come sit down and cuddle with me" Brittany insisted holding out her arms and nodding to the seat next to her.

Santana sighed and gave in, she didn't really want to watch a film about '_love'_ and perfect fucking happy endings but this was the last night she had to spend with Brittany and she wanted to make it perfect and if watching some sappy unrealistic movie about heterosexuals was gonna do that for her blond then she would do it.

She settled herself down next to Brittany who immediately snuggled into the warmth that was Santana's body; Santana put one arm around Brittany and pulled her in closer. Brittany placed her head on Santana's chest and enjoyed the way her chest slowly rose and fell with each breath and feeling Santana's heartbeat made her feel closer to her girlfriend. Kurt was sat next to Brittany waiting to start the movie, when he knew the two girls were comfortable he did just that.

Twenty minutes into the movie Rachel finally left the bathroom. She made sure to not make any noise as she slowly and carefully opened the bathroom door. She was in her bathrobe and wanted to make a quick dash for her bedroom before anyone could see her.

As she reached the doorway for the living room she could see the lights were dim and she could hear a movie she recognised as 'Made of Honor.'

She smiled at the memory of how one time she managed to get Santana to sit down and watch it with her that was just after they moved in together and when they still had fun nights of just being friends.

She remembered Santana had fallen asleep with her head in Rachel's lap that night.

Rachel slowly tiptoed past the living room but couldn't help stop and stare when she saw her three friends settled on the couch together just enjoying each other's company. She wished she had the courage to join them but she knew she wouldn't be able to sit through a movie like the one they were watching and not feel even worse for herself.

She was just about to walk off and into her room when Santana moved her head and caught sight of Rachel. They locked eyes for a few seconds, both pairs of brown orbs filled with hurt and sorrow. Rachel took a deep breath before breaking the contact and continuing to her room.

Santana felt that pang of guilt and pain in her heart again as she watched Rachel walk away in the darkness of their hallway and into the loneliness of her bedroom. Watching this film wasn't exactly helping the situation and Santana suddenly felt the urge to go and talk to Rachel.

The Latina attempted to shift out from under the blond girl still sprawled across her chest. Brittany lifted her head at the movement "Where are you going?" she asked with a pout.

"Nowhere, I just gotta go pee. I did drink a lot of water at dinner" Santana reminded.

"But I'll get cold without you" the blond pouted.

"Snuggle up to Kurt, he's full of hot air" Santana joked.

"Look who's talking Satan" the boy retorted but Brittany still moved over to snuggle closer to Kurt who happily accepted the blond.

Santana stood from the couch and went to leave the room, throwing one last glance back at the pair but mostly her girlfriend before she walked out completely and went into Rachel's room.

Santana slipped into the half open door to find Rachel standing in the middle of her bedroom half naked. Santana tried to talk but couldn't find the words when Rachel turned around to face her topless. "Oh my god Santana" she whispered not wanting to alert anyone.

Rachel was only in her sleep shorts and quickly grabbed a nearby t-shirt to slip on over her head. The Latina turned around out of respect as soon as she saw Rachel was nude.

Once Rachel was decent she sat down on her bed recovering from the shock, though it wasn't like Santana hadn't seen her naked before and vice versa. "You can turn around now" she informed softly.

Santana closed Rachel's bedroom door before doing so then swung around to face her. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to the diva looking deep into her eyes.

"I'm sorry"

"It's ok Santana, these things happen" Rachel replied still slightly embarrassed.

Santana shook her head "No, I didn't mean about walking in on you. I meant I'm sorry for everything"

"Everything?" Rachel questioned meeting the Latina's gaze

Santana nodded "Yeah I'm so sorry for everything that I've done to you over the last couple of weeks. I'm sorry for treating you the way I've treated you. I'm sorry for making you feel the way you feel. I'm sorry that I can't be who you want me to be and I'm sorry for being who I am. I know I'm an ass sometimes and I know I've hurt you and I'm sorry for all that"

Rachel sighed, it seemed like she had been here so many times with Santana. So many times they had sat on this very bed and talked about the same few things and still they had failed to come to a resolution that suited either of them. "I don't need your apologies Santana. I accept them but I don't need them" Rachel looked down at her hands.

"Then tell me Rachel what do you need? What do you want from me? What do you want me to say?" Santana's voice was breaking as she asked what seemed like an endless list of confusing questions.

"I want you to say what it is you really want to say" Rachel replied looking back at the girl who was now looking away from her instead.

A silence fell upon them and Rachel knew Santana wasn't going to be the first person to speak so instead she continued.

She took Santana's hand in hers and held it to her chest right where her heartbeat could be felt the strongest. "Look at me Santana" she demanded gently.

After a few seconds Santana finally got the courage to once again look deep into Rachel's eyes.

"I want you to tell me right now you don't feel this. That you don't feel what I feel"

Santana used her free hand to wipe at her tears that had begun to fall "Tell me you feel it Santana, I know you can. It's not all in my head. It's not in my imagination and I'm not dreaming. It's here and its real and its right here between us right now" Rachel squeezed Santana's hand harder against her heart to make her point.

Santana gave in, it was too hard not too when she was like this with Rachel. She swallowed hard before her lips finally parted to respond "I do. I feel it" she nodded speaking so softly she was practically mute.

Rachel was just about to ask her to repeat what she said, she had heard it but she had to be sure. But before she could Santana ripped her hand away from Rachel's chest and shot up from the bed so fast she almost fell down.

Rachel looked at her with concern as Santana's head spun "Santana?" she tried to reach out and grab for her hand but Santana moved out of reach of her touch.

"I think I'm gonna be sick" the Latina responded bringing one hand to her mouth before rushing out of Rachel's room without another word.

Rachel sat on her bed completely shocked and surprised by what had just happened. She didn't really know if that was progress or whether it was a step back but going by the fact Santana had actually said something about her _true_ feelings Rachel would guess it was a good thing. Though Santana did just rush out her room almost throwing up so Rachel was still as confused as ever.

"She felt it" Rachel whispered to herself while replaying the whole scene over again in her head to make sure she hadn't just imagined it all. And when she looked down to her bed sheets to see the crease where Santana had just been sitting she knew this time around it was far from a dream. It was real.

Santana lay up against the wall of the bathroom banging the back of her head against the wall. She cursed herself for letting her guard down so easily. A few weeks ago she would have never have given in to Rachel so easily but now such a short time on and she couldn't help but become putty in the diva's hands.

It was like her feelings for Rachel could no longer be contained by a simple lid she held over them, they wanted to thrive and be set free and acted on and they wouldn't take no for an answer. They bubbled up and flowed out of her and had literally made her physically sick knowing they had gone up against the feelings she had for Brittany and had won with such ease.

Though she had made sure to lock the bathroom door so no one could find her she prayed desperately Rachel wouldn't try to follow her, she wouldn't know if she could control herself if Rachel even came within a foot of her right now.

Santana quickly pulled herself together and stood up on shaky legs, she held on to the towel railing just to steady herself. She flushed the toilet and went to the sink to wash up. After washing her hands she threw some cold water on her flushed face to refresh her skin and to wash away her tear stains.

When she was happy that she looked somewhat respectable she nodded to herself in the mirror and unlocked the bathroom door making her way back to the living room.

Brittany was still huddle up with Kurt but she soon left him when Santana sat back down on the couch. She didn't say anything she just shifted her body back over to the other side of the couch where she took up her previous position on Santana's chest.

Though this time Santana did not wrap an arm around the blond until Brittany's hand forcefully lifted her arm and put it around her body.

By the time the movie had finished Santana felt empty. Empty of all feelings and emotions. Empty of almost everything. She didn't know whether to be sad, angry, jealous or ashamed but over all she just felt tired. Tired of pretending she was feeling things she could no longer feel and tired of pretending to not feel things that she _did_ feel.

Kurt stepped up and turned the TV off placing the remote on top. Brittany was almost falling asleep on Santana and would have happily slept on the soft comfy pillow that was Santana's boobs if the Latina hadn't of shifted to get up.

"Come Blondie let's get you to bed" Santana smiled softly at the sleepy girl as she patted her shoulder.

Brittany lifted her head from Santana's body and rubbed at her eyes "Oh I missed the end of the movie" she whimpered with a pout. "What happened did he get his girl? Did true love prevail?" she wondered looking back and forth between Santana and Kurt.

Kurt nodded "Of course it did Britt. Doesn't it _always_?" he chuckled and took a glance at Santana noting her empty expression as the Latina put her gaze to the floor.

Upon hearing Kurt's words the blond grinned brightly at him as she stood up "That's good then. I hate sad endings when somebody ends up broken hearted" her smiled left her face as she said that but then it came back when her eyes landed on Santana still sat on the couch.

Brittany took the Latina's hand and yanked her up to her feet. "Come on Sanny lets go to bed" she said suggestively with a wink as she galloped out the room and towards their bedroom.

Santana chanced a glance at Kurt, she knew the boy was judging her but honestly by now she no longer cared. She was judging herself just the same.

"Goodnight Kurt" she managed to get out in a polite manner.

"Goodnight ladykiller…sorry I meant Santana" he said slightly bitterly as he readied the couch for sleeping on. He was thankful this was the last night he would have to sleep on that thing. He wouldn't deny it was comfy but after so many nights sleeping on it it was starting to give him back pain, plus it had a very odd smell of what he could only describe as ass. Though he refused to mention this to Santana due to the fact he knew the Latina would have lined up a whole bunch of gay jokes appropriate for the situation.

Santana threw one last glare at Kurt but knew he wasn't wrong before she went to her room. When she walked in she was met with a familiar sight. Brittany sat on the bed stripping. Santana closed her bedroom door and walked over to the bed where she pulled off her own shirt.

Brittany was already down to her panties and she reached around her back to unclasp her bra. She pulled it off and tossed it to the floor then did the same with her panties. As she stood up to reach for her sleepwear she caught sight of Santana undressing almost as if the Latina was nervous about being naked in front of her.

Brittany chuckled at the thought, after all the things they have done together over the years there was no shame left for them to feel but the blond did find it cute how her girlfriend's cheeks blushed as Santana's eyes darted away from the blond's boobs.

As Santana watched Brittany dress she couldn't help but feel her heart pick up and the breathlessness she still felt. There was no denying she was still attracted to Brittany and the girl still managed to take her breath away but it wasn't exactly the way it used to be. She didn't feel like jumping on Brittany the moment she took her top off, she may have been physically aroused by her girlfriend but emotionally she just didn't know anymore, though that may have just been her guilt at this point.

The Latina threw on her own tank top and PJ pants and crawled into bed watching the blond as she pulled on her sleep shorts and picked up her discarded clothes from the floor. Brittany folded her clothes and went over to the drawer that she had been using and put them inside ready to be packed back in her suitcase in the morning.

The blond crawled under the bed sheets once she had put her clothing away and turned off the bed room light leaving only the lamp at the side of Santana's bed to light up the room. Brittany shuffled up as close as possible against Santana's body. "Hey" she whispered softly into the Latinas ear.

Santana smiled at the image of her girlfriend's face being illuminated by the dim light. She put one hand into Brittany's luscious blond hair and stroked it gently. "Hey"

Brittany leaned down and placed a kiss to Santana's lips, her hand quickly finding Santana's thigh and subtly brushing up and down the cotton covered leg. Santana moaned softly into her girlfriend's mouth. "Hmmm Britt" she tried to protest but Brittany's lips continued moving south and felt so good against her neck.

Britt pulled back and pecked Santana's lips again "So…I'm leaving tomorrow and won't be seeing you for a while" she purred.

Santana chuckled knowing exactly where this was going but she felt bad that she didn't want to go there. "Nope"

"Not until you come for a visit in Lima" Brittany kissed at her girlfriend's neck once more, dragging her warm tongue up the smooth sensitive skin.

Santana just nodded agreeing with the blond. She had too much on her mind to really focus on this right now. She knew she promised the girl she would visit over a weekend at some point to be fair, plus she missed her parents and wanted to see them again.

"Wanna go one last time?" the blond husked with a smirk into her neck and the warm heat of Brittany's breath almost made Santana agree. Brittany cupped Santana's sex through her PJ pants and slowly moved her hand to caress her.

Santana parted her legs from habit but quickly tried to close them again and shifted under the blond's touch. "Britt come on we should get some sleep" she protested weakly.

"San I can sleep the whole train ride home tomorrow. I wanna do something else right now" she whispered and bit at her girlfriend's neck.

Santana grew even more uncomfortable not because she was with Brittany but because of what was running through her head about what happened not long ago with Rachel, in face everything that had happened today with Rachel.

Santana reached under the sheets to place her hand over her girlfriend's and still it. "Britt stop. I don't really feel like it, I'm sorry" she shrugged regretfully as she looked into almost hurt blue eyes. She wanted to give Brittany this but she wasn't feeling it and she knew she had lied enough to the blond to pretend to be into something she wasn't right now.

"You ok? I mean you always feel like it" Brittany laughed a little but was rather concerned over the fact. She and Santana hadn't made love successfully for several days and it was very unusual. She usually couldn't keep the Latina's hands off of her but recently Santana didn't even want to touch her.

She wasn't an idiot but she figured it was just down to the fact they weren't in high school anymore and Santana had possibly matured and maybe lost some of her high school sex drive. She also figured maybe that's why Santana was shy around her sometimes now, maybe Santana was embarrassed that she didn't get aroused like she used to and that's why Brittany didn't want to rush her or force her into anything. Her suspicions only seemed to be semi proven when Santana couldn't get wet the other night.

"I'm fine Britt" Santana assured her.

"San you know you can talk to me right?" Brittany removed her hand from between Santana's legs and cupped her cheek. "Like it's nothing to be embarrassed about if you're having…problems"

"Problems?" Santana wondered what Brittany was talking about.

Brittany gave her a comforting smile "Yeah just because you're a teenager doesn't mean you have to be into this all the time. Its ok if you have problems getting aroused"

Santana was slightly surprised by her girlfriend's words and shook her head. "Wait you think I…" she thought for an appropriate term but couldn't really think of one so just said the first thing that came to her mind. "…you think I 'can't get it up'?" she used quote marks. She didn't know if there was a female friendly version of the saying so just shrugged.

"Well the other night you couldn't get wet and tonight you don't want to do anything and the fact you've been a little off lately when it comes to the bedroom, I just figured maybe you were having problems with your downstairs and were maybe a little embarrassed about it" the blond deliberately spoke slowly and choose her words carefully not wanting to embarrassed or upset her girlfriend further.

Santana knew in a way Brittany was right but there was obviously more to it than she knew so she racked her brains for some sort of excuse she could use that would make sense.

"Britt I think you're over thinking this" she smiled up at the blond as best she could. "I'm just…um I'm on my period that's all. I got it this morning and you know I just don't feel all that sexy right now" she lied and shrugged again hoping Brittany would now leave it.

Brittany gave a sympathetic smile as her girlfriend seemed too small, so much smaller than she usually did when Santana was under her like this.

"Oh baby it's not like we haven't done it before when one of us has been on. Besides orgasms are great muscles relaxers and a good way to relive stress and pain from stomach cramps" Brittany explained as her hand dived back under the sheets and she cupped Santana once more.

Santana only pushed her away when she felt the blond's hand tried to reach under her pants. "Britt I said no. I'm sorry but I just…I just don't want to" she darted her eyes away guilty and regretfully as her girlfriend retracted her hand again.

"No _I'm_ sorry" Brittany replied sadly hoping she hadn't upset Santana.

The Latina turned on to her side so her back was to the blond and laced her fingers with Brittany's. She then dragged Brittany's arm around her so the blond was holding her and spooning her. "Can't we just cuddle for once without sex?" she asked almost uncertain.

Brittany kissed her girl's neck and shuffled closer so Santana's ass was snuggly pressed to her front "Sure whatever you want" she replied gently against tanned skin before settling down to sleep.

"Night Brittany"

"Night Santana"

2 hours later…

Brittany was fast asleep with her arms still tightly wrapped around Santana's small frame. Santana of course was wide awake, she couldn't think of anything else other than the feeling she felt when Rachel pressed her hand to her heart. She hadn't felt that much electricity since she first started dating Brittany.

She carefully turned over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling now completely basked in darkness due to the fact she had turned the lamp off not wanting to keep her girlfriend awake. By now she had a raging headache from all the thinking and over thinking.

Tears were already running down her cheek when she couldn't get the image of Rachel out of her mind. Rachel specifically asked her if she had felt 'it' and for the first time she had actually said 'yes' to Rachel because she could no longer look the other way when it came to the diva.

The small brunette made her heart ache in all the ways that made her smile.

As Brittany shifted by her side it made Santana tear up harder knowing she had this amazing, sexy and beautiful, smart and funny talented girl right next to her who used to be her _everything_. A few months ago everything was _perfect_ and she never would have looked twice at another girl knowing she had the perfect one only a touch away. But now after everything with Rachel she knew nothing was the same and no matter how much she wished she could make it right again and go back in time so none of this ever happened she knew deep down that would _never_ be the case. She would never be able to be with Brittany in the way she once was.

Her tears couldn't be stopped as she ran her fingers up and down Brittany's bare arm that lay across her stomach. "I'm so sorry Brittany" she weepily whispered, her voice breaking midway through as she carefully lifted her girlfriend's arm and removed it from her body so she could slip out of bed being careful not to wake the girl.

Santana looked down at the past out blond in her bed and pulled the sheet tight up to her neck to cover her body before placing a soft loving kiss to her forehead. "So sorry" she repeated.

Santana wiped at her heavy tears and pulled a Kleenex from the tissue box on her bed. Then she walked out of her bedroom and went to the kitchen.

Santana grabbed herself a glass from the cupboard and filled it with tap water, taking a deep breath she gulped it down until the glass was empty. Slamming it down on the side she composed herself and walked with determination into the living room where it was dark.

She saw Kurt's sleeping form under the blanket on the couch and she stopped suddenly, closing her eyes to desperately stop more tears coming out. She bit her lower lip and brought it into her mouth.

She stepped up to the couch where Kurt was sleeping.

What happened next surprised even her.

Santana Lopez dropped to her knees in the dark silent room, the only sound being Kurt's steady breathing. She opened her eyes as they streamed with new tears, tears she couldn't stop now even if she wanted to, she had finally broken, she had cracked and cracked hard and deep and she wasn't about to be fixed.

Her whimpering coaxed Kurt out of his sleep as he saw a dark outline in front of him. He let his eyes adjust to the surprising image before sitting up slightly. "Santana?" he asked softly worry and surprise clear in his tone.

Santana took another deep breath in order to talk "Kurt. Can I talk to you please?" she sobbed.

Kurt was a little shocked at the fact that the Latina had said 'please' to him making him think this was a dream. He leant over to switch the lamp on on the unit next to the couch and as the light cast a shadow on her face, hiding half of her in the darkness and bringing the other half of her in his sight she looked as though she belonged in a comic book movie playing the villain but she looked so down Kurt kept quiet on his comments.

"Santana, Jeeze its 3 in the morning…" Kurt informed her rubbing his eyes "…and are you crying?" he wondered with almost slight amusement clearly not yet understanding just how serious the situation had gotten.

"Tell anyone and I swear you'll regret it" Santana replied defensively but not in her normal aggressive threatening way more in a shy and uncertain way, it was like she was ashamed that someone was seeing her in this way.

Kurt sat up fully and it finally hit him that this was no time for jokes, the seriousness finally reaching him. "I won't" he reassured her in his most comforting tone. "What's wrong?"

Santana began to cry harder as she desperately tried to wipe her tears away. She shook her head before looking into Kurt's eyes.

"I can't do this anymore Kurt. I can't keep pretending this is all fine"

Silence swept over them. Kurt didn't really know how to respond to that.

Soon enough Santana spoke up again "What should I do? Tell me" she asked as if Kurt actually held the answer, an answer she was so desperate to find but couldn't seem to locate on her own.

Kurt gave her a sympathetic smile and sighed "I _can't_ tell you that Santana, only _you_ know your feelings"

Santana looked back down and found interest in her hands; she didn't have a response for him so Kurt asked her something else.

"Do you love Rachel?"

"I don't know" she whispered uncertain. Kurt figured she did know the answer but she still wasn't ready to state it as a fact so he asked something that he knew Santana couldn't stay quiet when asked.

With an even softer voice he asked "Do you still love Brittany?"

Santana's eyes went back to his and he watched as a tear rolled down her cheek and fell in her lap but she didn't give him anything.

He shrugged "Then that's your answer. You have to tell her, you have to stop hurting her and yourself and Rachel" he voice was a comfort to her but she still knew she couldn't do what he was telling her.

"Brittany is my best friend Kurt; I can't just break up with her. She's all I've ever had and if I do that I'm scared I'll lose her forever, not just as my girlfriend but as my best friend too and I can't lose her Kurt I just can't. I need her. She's all I've ever known for most of my life"

Kurt nodded understanding what Santana was trying to tell him, he felt the same way about Blaine after all. Blaine was the only person he has had in his life that truly understood him and was always there for him and though things weren't going so great between them right now he couldn't bare to think about losing Blaine as his friend as well as his boyfriend.

"But you can't be with someone you don't love Santana, you have to decide whether you want to stay with her or be with Rachel"

"I _do_ love Brittany, I really do" she nodded certain of the fact, she wasn't lying. Her love may not be as strong as it once had been but there was no denying she still had strong feelings for her first true love and those feelings were something she just wasn't ready to say goodbye to.

"I can't break her heart like that" Santana continued.

"Honestly I think you've already done that Santana" Kurt said softly. He didn't want to break Santana's own already shattered heart as she kneeled on the floor in front of him but he had to tell her what he thought. "All you can hope for now is to break it gently"

"Kurt she's my first real love and I still care for her I'm not lying about that and I'm not one of those people who can just throw away everything they've had with their first love, I just can't do that to her" Santana wiped her red eyes with her tissue.

"Then don't"

"What?"

"For now don't hurt her if you can't take it. But this _will_ end up hurting her eventually you know that right?" he asked.

Santana nodded "Of course I do and you have no idea how much I _hate_ myself for that. I wish I could take it all back but I just can't tell her the truth yet. She deserves to know but I still love her Kurt and I don't want to hurt her like that I need more time"

Kurt didn't really know what to say, he knew Santana's intentions were good but at the same time she was risking making the situation much worse and hurting Brittany even more.

"But I really like Rachel Kurt. Its true there's something between us that I don't even think I fully understand but I really, really like her and I'm not ready to lose her" she cried remembering the fact the girl was moving out because she told her she didn't care.

Kurt knew it wasn't his place to say what he was about to say but he did anyway hoping it might help Santana make some sort of decision.

"She's in love with you, you know?" he informed her.

The boy's words shocked Santana as she looked at him with confusion she didn't know how to respond to that. A flood full of emotion entered her body and if she wasn't so caught up with her own tears she perhaps would have smiled.

She knew Rachel liked her but she had no idea the girl had fallen so hard for her, so deep for her.

"She told me when I first got here. But she won't wait around forever for you Santana. Rachel is a wonderful girl and she deserves to be treated as such"

Santana nodded knowing Kurt was right. "So what do I do?" she asked again.

"I told you that's not for me to say. But what you _can_ do is go to the bathroom, clean yourself up then go back to bed and hold that girlfriend of yours like you never want to let her go. Then tomorrow you will wave goodbye to both me and Brittany, then when you and Rachel are finally alone again you _will_ sort yourself out and make your choice. But until then you will stop crying and act like the Santana Lopez we all know because I have to admit I kinda miss her"

Santana stood up from the floor and wiped her eyes one last time, she looked down at Kurt and smiled "Thanks Kurt." He was right this wasn't her, no far from it.

"Don't mention it" he returned her smile.

The Latina was about to leave the room when she stopped and turned back to Kurt he was about to settle back under the blanket when he saw her looking at him. "I do love her you know" she said softly before leaving the room.

He didn't quite know who Santana was referring to but he assume she meant Brittany as she went to great lengths during their conversation to reassure him she was still in love with the blond in some way even if it wasn't the same at it once was.

Kurt smiled to himself at the fact Santana had trusted him with being so open and vulnerable before pulling the blanket back over himself to attempt to go back to sleep.

Meanwhile Santana did just what Kurt had told her, she realised her last comment could have been a little vague but she _was_ referring to _Brittany_. Of course she still loved the blond; you can't just fall out of love with someone you've been so dedicated to for so long, it just didn't work that way. Brittany was a part of her and she most likely always would be even if they ever broke up which Santana figured would now be a 'when' rather than an 'if'

She went straight to the bathroom and washed her face for what seemed like the hundredth time that day before regaining her Lopez front and going back to her room where she slipped back under the covers and wrapped her strong arms around the blond girl who hadn't moved a muscle in her bed.

Santana pressed her body as close as possible to the taller girl mostly for her own comfort as she took in the smell of her girlfriend's shampoo and moisturiser. She smiled at the familiar aromas and tightened her grip around the girl before falling into a deep yet unsatisfying sleep.

**A/N: Ok so I hope that ending was a little more up your alley. To be honest I don't really feel sorry for any of the characters right now, I guess it's just life, love hurts and love sucks that's the way it is. But I know most of you have different feelings for different characters maybe that has now changed after that chapter I don't know. **

**Let me know what you think. I've been waiting a while to write that chapter so I hope it was worth it.**

**Next chapter teaser: Kurt and Brittany prepare to leave and go back to Lima. But how will that change Pezberry's relationship? Will it be good or bad? And will Rachel really move out and leave Santana alone? Find out in the next chapter.**

**Thanks for reading please leave a review…**


	11. Chapter 11

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 11

**PAIRINGS:**

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Brittana (Santana/ Brittany)

**RATING: **M

**A/N****: Such fantastic reviews once again you guys are awesome.****Hope this chapter answers some more of your questions. Though then again it probably won't as your biggest question may not be answered till like the last chapter…who knows? We see Santana's response to Rachel wanting to move out in this chapter too, I think it's a good one but that's just me. **

**Review response:**

**ichigo111981:**** I get it I feel for Britt too. What Santana is doing is wrong even if she has somewhat true intentions behind it. As for Rachel she can't help but be blind to the crap Santana puts her through because she's in love and she's deluded by that in a way. Santana is about to find out what it will be like to lose Rachel in an upcoming chapter. She has already begun to feel it at the prospect of Rachel moving out but an obstacle will soon get in her way that she will have to deal with immediately, in the form of another person. Keep reading it will all happen in one way or another.**

**zuperkt:**** Thanks I hope it continues to do just that.**

**Me1313:**** Thanks glad you like the way I write the characters. I hope Santana does too, I think she will ;) Santana likes to take her time doesn't she haha.**

**iamirreplazable:**** Yeah, jealousy, anger, crying (lots of it), guilt, regret and the occasional smile, yes so much emotion :)**

**brianasmith:**** The talk has definitely helped but Santana is a stubborn one ;)**

**1LuvelyGurl:**** Thanks hopefully you will like what's next.**

**LovingJacobBlack:**** Pissed off but in a good way I know what you mean. Santana is a douche right now but you can't help but feel for her because its Santana haha. I kinda already wrote this chapter before I posted the last but I did like your idea still. Though this chapter shows that Santana needs to stop hiding behind barriers such as Britt or her stubbornness and start using her words. Santana will talk to Rachel in this chapter and she'll mention her true feelings over Rachel moving out. I don't know if Rachel finds it swoon worthy but I hope you like it just as much :) And Brittany and Kurt will be there for most of the chapter but I promise once they are gone Pezberry will definitely be back on.**

**Guest 1:**** I'm glad you are that excited for more haha. Sorry I couldn't update straight away though :( but it's here now :)**

**LaurenKnight13:**** I agree I think if she stayed with Britt I'd hate the fact that Santana knows she cares for someone else and Britt is oblivious of the fact. I hate the fact innocent Britt is getting the heartbreak and she doesn't even know it's happening. The first step is always the hardest so hopefully this will make opening up easier from now on. Yes it would be best if Santana explained herself before Rachel moves out or she'll never forgive herself for letting Rachel go. Guess we'll find out in this chapter if Rachel leaves or not. It's definitely hard to deny the fact they have deep feelings for each other by now.**

**Kerrpderp:**** Thanks so much, it's great to hear that. I know how you feel I usually stay up just as late (and later) writing it haha. So enjoy this chapter but please make sure you get some sleep ;)**

**Guest 2:**** I agree there was a lot going on in that chapter, lots of emotion all around. They will have a decent conversation soon I hope. They sorta do by the end of this chapter ;). Though Rachel still doesn't know that Kurt told Santana that Rachel was in love with her so unless Santana mentions it Rachel probably won't either. Hang on in there though, trust me. **

**CarolineSC: ****Thank you :)**

**wordplay2007:**** Oh wow all 10 chapters in one go that's commitment, thank you :) glad you enjoyed it too. Thank you for being one of the few who doesn't hate one of the characters atm. It's true, like I've been saying all along, sometimes love doesn't work in the easy way and hearts get broken before they can really find what they're looking for. Love sucks is pretty much the bottom line, but it can also be great. It is very unlikely for someone not to end up hurt in some way when it comes to the L word lol. Hope you continue to enjoy the story. I try not to hurt the characters too much lol.**

**Gleek1990:**** Thanks I love writing the triangle between them. Enjoy the chapter. **

**Now on with the show guys…**

Santana woke up to noises around her room. When she finally willed herself to actually open her eyes all the way she saw an open suitcase on the bed near her feet which were still covered by her bed sheet and Brittany was already dressed and fully awake.

Santana rolled on to her side to look at her clock, her eyes went wide when she saw how late it actually was; almost 2PM. "Holy shit" she grumbled as she stretched in her bed.

Brittany smiled at her girlfriend; the girl's sleepy, still slightly red eyes and messy hair made for quite the amusing image. "Morning sweetie" the blond greeted as she folding some of her clothes she had taken from the drawer and deposited them back into her suitcase almost sadly so.

"Morning" Santana's voice croaked. She blushed slightly before clearing it and repeating her words.

"Aww your morning voice is so sexy" Britt chuckled.

Santana sat up in bed as she continued to watch the other girl. Memories of what had happened last night staying fresh in her mind but she tried desperately to push them aside for Brittany's sake, like she had promised Kurt she would do. He was right if Brittany wasn't around maybe this situation could become slightly clearer in her messed up head and maybe she might find the answer she was looking for.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Santana asked looking back at her digital clock and watching as the minute side changed proving to her the clock wasn't broken and it really was late in the afternoon.

"Well I didn't want to wake you, you looked so cute and cosy in bed so I figured I'd leave you to sleep." The blond put the last of her clothes into her suitcase before sitting down on the bed after patting Santana's feet so she would move them out the way and not sit on them.

"But today is your last day here and I wanted to be with you" the Latina pouted.

"I know babe but I know you haven't been sleeping well recently and I wanted you to get some proper rest so I didn't want to wake you up" Brittany replied reaching out and taking one of Santana's hands. "Do you want some breakfast or lunch or brunch even? Not that I actually know what that is but I can look it up" Brittany asked.

Santana laughed and shook her head. "No that's ok I'm not really in the mood to eat right now"

"Oh that's right your stomach pains" the taller girl said. "How are you feeling today? Any better?"

Santana nodded "Um…yeah much better thanks Britt" Santana rested a hand on her abdomen knowing her pains were fake in the first place.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it" Brittany smiled happily and leaned over to give Santana a kiss but pulled back before deepening the kiss any further. "Ew you have morning breath" she giggled and scrunched her nose up.

Santana rolled her eyes "You usually don't complain."

"Yeah but I've already brushed my teeth and I don't want to have to do it again, I'll kiss you when you smell minty" Brittany gave Santana a giant ass grin before standing up. "You wanna help me pack the rest of my stuff?"

Santana playfully shook her head before falling back down in bed with a huff.

Kurt was in the living room, he had spent the last 40 minutes going back and forth from his makeshift bedroom to Rachel's bedroom to get his stuff. He had just finished putting the last of his belongings into his many suitcases he had brought.

He was just figuring out how to pack his souvenirs for family and friends when Rachel helpfully brought out his selection hair products supplies. She set them down on his bag and sat on the arm of the couch as she watched him pack his stuff like a neatly put together puzzle.

Kurt had been debating with himself for the last few hours whether or not to tell Rachel about last night. He didn't want to break Santana's trust by telling Rachel what she had said and did and he also didn't really want to tell Rachel he told Santana the one secret she may not have wanted the girl to know. But he also figured if Santana knew the truth now and if he told Rachel the truth maybe the two stubborn ass girls could finally meet in the middle. But at the same time he knew they probably still had a long way to go and he was probably dreaming he could settle this so simply.

What he didn't know however was Rachel was having her own debate with herself over whether or not she should tell Kurt what had happened between her and Santana the night before. But due to the fact she was still a little confused herself over what had happened she chose to leave it for now. After all the only thing she knew for sure was Santana said something under her breath which sounded a lot like what she wanted to hear but then the girl ran out of her room to puke and Rachel didn't really know what to make of the situation.

"I can't believe you're leaving already" Rachel whined.

"I know, time goes so fast when you're mixed up in a lesbian love triangle" Kurt chuckled earning himself a playful yet still rather forceful shove from Rachel who almost fell off the arm of the couch as she did so.

"You do realise once you go I will no longer have my guru?" Rachel pouted.

Kurt stopped packing his stuff to take a step closer to the girl. He placed a hand on her leg in a comforting manner "I'm only a phone call away Rach. Besides I have a funny feeling that once I am out of your hair things might just change" he said like he knew something she didn't, well he did but he couldn't be certain anything good would come out of it for her.

Rachel looked up into his eyes "And what's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged "Nothing really but I just think things may be easier to deal with if Brittany and I aren't in the way."

Rachel smiled at his supportive words. "You are never in the way Kurt" she assured him, knowing there would have been no way she would have survived the last couple of weeks without him by her side.

"Still I feel kinda awkward sometimes with all the sexual tension in the room; god knows how Brittany hasn't clocked on yet. Blinded by love I guess" he stated.

"Don't remind me, I feel bad enough around her" Rachel sulked.

"Well look at it this way, it's not _all _your fault, only half of it. The other half is Santana's"

"Oh that really makes me feel so much better thanks Kurt"

"You're welcome. Besides as much as I love you I'm in need of a good night sleep in my own bed, your couch is starting to make me stiff" he chuckled.

"Isn't that just the way you like it?" Santana's voice entered the mix as the Latina walked into the living room fully dressed. She stopped suddenly when she saw Rachel but after Kurt's gaze fell on her she continued with what she came in the room to do.

She walked over to the TV and picked up the small pile of DVDs and CDs that belonged to Brittany. She was on her way back to her own room when she locked eyes for a brief second with the smaller brunette but hastily rushed out the room before anymore awkwardness ensured.

"That wasn't weird at all" Kurt found himself saying with a roll of his eyes once the Latina was out of ear shot. He was packing the last few remaining items into one of his suitcases desperately trying to find room. "Has anything new happened between you two that I should know about?" he asked, after last night (or rather earlier this morning) he didn't really know what to think.

Rachel looked at the boy and gave a few seconds of thought, she could tell Kurt the truth but she still didn't really see the point, nothing had changed between her and Santana.

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head "No nothing" she replied unconvincingly, gaining a questioning frown from Kurt. "Look even if anything had there's no point in talking about it because nothing has changed between us Kurt. She still has a girlfriend and I still have nothing so can we just drop it please" she nervously pulled her sleeves of her sweater down to cover her hands and placed them both between her knees as she steadied herself on the armrest.

Kurt nodded knowing she had had enough heartbreak for a lifetime and he didn't want to bring it all back up now when he knew he wouldn't be around to help fix the aftermath of the situation.

"I just worry about you that's all. I hate the thought of leaving you here all alone" he said pulling Rachel into a tight warm hug.

"Well I'm not gonna be alone for much longer" she replied hugging him back just as hard.

Kurt pulled back and looked down at the girl "What do you mean?"

Rachel wiped at a tear she hadn't realised had been forming before answering "I'm moving out Kurt. I'm gonna move in with Brody"

Kurt looked a little shocked but he could understand why. "Wait does Santana know?"

"I told her and she basically opened the front door and handed me a map" Rachel sighed.

"When did this happen?" Kurt was even more shocked at this news after how Santana broke down in front of him only 11 hours before.

"Yesterday afternoon, like before we had dinner"

"That would explain it" Kurt whispered to himself.

"Explain what?" the diva asked with a frown.

The boy shook his head "No, nothing. I just mean that doesn't sound like Santana. I know you two have had your ups and downs but I can't imagine she would just let you move out without another word"

"She doesn't _care_ Kurt; it's as simple as that. She has her life and I have mine. We will never go together so why should I try. I'm done feeling this way and I just want out" Rachel explained.

"Well if that's what you want"

"It's _not_ what I want but do I really have a choice? I can either move out and try to get over all this and get over her or I stay here and see her every damn day and feel like I'll never be good enough." Rachel was starting to cry again and Kurt handed her a tissue from his pants pocket.

"Of course you're good enough Rachel. Santana is just confused right now but I know for a fact deep down inside she knows what she wants and it might take time for her to uncover that but she will get there" he assured the girl with a sympathetic smile.

Rachel shook her head and wiped at her eyes, she didn't know how many times she had cried over Santana but she wished she was done with it. "I'm not so sure Kurt"

"Well _I_ am and I'm a Hummel so you know I'm right" he pinched at her cheek trying to cheer her up. Rachel smiled which soon turned into a fit of giggles when Kurt began to tickle her sides. "Come on Rach you know I wouldn't steer you in the wrong direction. Time is a precious thing but at the same time it is also something we could all use a lot of when it comes to these things, its key."

"Well then I wish we could just get in a time machine and jump to six months from now. Do you think she would have had enough of it by then?"

"Honestly? Who knows? I don't even think she does most of the time but I do know that no matter how bad it all looks right now you can't let it just get you down. There's always hope Rachel, always" he said softly as he squeezed her knee.

Rachel gave him a beaming smile and for once it was completely genuine, yes the situation wasn't always that bright but she knew that there was always chance for light even if that light was dim.

"You do know you should run for President don't you?" Rachel joked but had to admit was taken by the idea.

Kurt grinned and put his thumb and index finger on his chin in mock thought as he looked to the ceiling "Hmm President Hummel, that has a ring to it."

They both laughed and hugged again and Kurt placed a friendly comforting kiss on top of Rachel's head.

Meanwhile in Santana's room:

"Are you sure you got everything?" Santana asked handing Brittany her pile of DVDs and CDs she had just picked up from the living room.

Brittany took them and tucked them into her bag. "I think so; the drawer is empty so I know I haven't left anything behind. It's just a shame I didn't bring a bigger suitcase cause then I could pack you" Brittany said cheekily with a dopey smile on her adorable face that made Santana giggle.

Brittany pulled the Latina into her body and kissed her lips "I haven't seen you do that in a while" the blond said.

"What, kiss?" Santana wondered.

"No, giggle" Brittany rested her forehead against her girlfriend's as they looked deep into each other's eyes. "I like it when you laugh. You have a really cute laugh."

Santana sighed and pulled away from Brittany's grasp before sitting down on the bed. "I'm sorry if this trip has sucked for you Britt. I know I haven't been the best girlfriend to you recently."

Brittany knew this was rather true but didn't want to say it; she took a seat next to the Latina. She knew the girl had been through a lot of changes by moving city and may still be getting used to it all. "That's ok, I mean it hasn't totally sucked, I got to see you, didn't I? That's all I ever wanted from this trip was to get to see you again and I did" the blond smiled.

"Yeah I guess" Santana shrugged.

"You guess? Why didn't you enjoy having me here?" Brittany asked with playful offense.

"Of course I did you know that? I'm just glad you enjoyed your trip even if it wasn't quite as perfect as it could have been" Santana replied regretfully.

"San of course it was perfect. Like I said I got to see you, and we had lots of fun, food and lots of sexytimes. What more could I ask for hey?" Brittany grinned.

Santana laughed at the girl's words and nodded her head before being brought into a death tight hug by the blond.

Later that day…

Kurt and Brittany were all packed up and ready to go back to Lima. Everyone had mixed feelings, some were of course from sadness but some were of relief. Most of those mixed feelings were coming from the one and only Santana Lopez.

Of course she was going to miss Brittany when she went back but at the same time she was glad that she could get some headspace of her own without worrying about what the blond was doing or if she was in earshot or not. Maybe if her girlfriend wasn't around she would be able to figure out what it was she really wanted even if she already knew deep down what that was.

Meanwhile Rachel too was having mixed feelings, she knew that without Kurt around she wouldn't have her rock to lean on when things got tough but if Brittany was out of the picture for a while maybe Santana could finally own up about who it was she really wanted and quit being so vague on her emotions.

"_I do. I feel it" _

Santana's mumbled words ran through her head over and over again.

She knew she hadn't imagined it, Santana had actually said them but what could Rachel do about it. If she tried to question the Latina over them she would only end up pushing Rachel away even more while denying she said anything. Then Rachel would feel even more exiled than she did before resulting in her becoming even more frustrated over the situation.

"_I do. I feel it"_

"Fuck sake Santana" Rachel growled into her pillow as the words haunted her every thought. She just couldn't forget them. She also couldn't forget the obvious tears Santana had shed at that moment, '_you don't cry for no reason right?'_

To make matters worse she had promised Kurt she would be there at the train station to see him off which meant she would have to sit in Santana's truck as the Latina drove the group to the station. Talk about awkward. Though she was confident things couldn't really get any more awkward than they had already especially after last night's dinner.

"Hey Rach, you ready?" Kurt asked the girl as he entered her room and held one of his many suitcases in his hand.

Rachel sat up from the bed and frowned before looking at the clock on her bedside to see it read 17:56PM. "Oh my god its six already?" Rachel asked no one in particular not realising she had been sulking for quite so long.

"I'm afraid so. Me and Britt gotta train to catch" Kurt replied sadly.

Rachel groaned and pushed herself off the bed before grabbing a nearby jacket and slipping it on.

"You know you don't have to come if you think it's gonna be too awkward" Kurt suggested stopping Rachel from leaving her bedroom.

Rachel shook her head "No, no I wanna come say goodbye to you properly. You've been here for me over these last couple of weeks and now I wanna be there for you. I can deal" she nodded confidently even if her insides didn't match her out.

"Ok then let's get this show on the road" Kurt smiled happily.

Rachel nodded and followed him out into the entry way of their apartment waiting for Brittany and Santana to join them.

"So you're sure you got everything right?" Santana asked her girlfriend for what felt like the hundredth time.

Brittany rolled her eyes as she rolled out her suitcase from the Latina's room. "Yes San for the last time I've got everything" she smiled and stopped dead in her tracks while she pulled Santana against her and kissed her. "God you are so sexy when you worry about things" Brittany whispered against her lips.

Santana laughed "Well I'm glad you find my paranoia a turn on" she said jokingly as she took in the fact this would be the last time she would get to really hold Brittany in private for a while.

"Hmm so hot" Brittany purred into Santana's mouth as she kissed her again. "Are you sure we don't have time for a quickie?" she asked hopeful as she pushed her hips against Santana's.

"Sorry Britt, not unless you wanna miss your train and I don't think Kurt would appreciate sleeping on our couch for another night because you couldn't keep it in your pants" Santana chuckled. "Come on we should get going" Santana insisted pushing the blond away from her subtly.

"Fine" Brittany huffed in defeat and bent down to pick up her suitcase. "Oh wait I forgot one thing!" she gasped as she ran back into Santana's bedroom taking her bag with her.

Santana didn't move and waited till the blond re-emerged from her room around a minute later with a big grin on her face.

"What did you forget?" the Latina wondered with a quirked eyebrow, after all Brittany was the one who insisted she hadn't forgotten _anything_.

"Nothing. Let's go" Brittany giggled with a shrug of her shoulders before walking past her girlfriend to go meet Kurt and Rachel at the door.

Santana shook her head figuring it didn't matter before following her girlfriend.

"Jesus Kurt this is so fucking heavy" Santana grunted as she lifted his last suitcase into the trunk of her jeep. She finally managed to get it in without pulling a muscle. "Fuck what is in that, your collection of butt plugs?" she asked rubbing at her left bicep that was now hurting.

"Oh ha-ha Satan that's a new one" Kurt rolled his eyes before shutting the trunk for the girl. Brittany was already in the front passenger seat while Rachel was in the back.

"I'm not joking Kurt that thing almost gave me a hernia" Santana complained.

"Oh it's not that heavy. It's only got a few half-sweaters inside and my gifts for Blaine" he informed her.

"Well what did you get him the Empire State Building?"

"Yes actually. Well it was only an ornament but still" Kurt shrugged.

"Wow just when I thought you couldn't get any gayer, man" Santana held her hands up admitting her defeat. She turned around and attempted to make her way to the driver's seat but before she could step away Kurt's hand landed on her shoulder and pulled her back.

"Hey wait"

Santana turned back with an exaggerated huff "What now Hummel?"

"Are you ok?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah I'm fine" she said quickly like she had no idea what he was referring to.

"Santana come on you can talk to me you know? As much as _you_ hate to admit it _I am_ your friend and I'm here for you" he assured her.

"Kurt I know all that ok but like I said I'm fine"

"I'm not stupid San, I know you're hurting. Rachel told me she's moving out and she said you didn't care but I know that's not true. After last night you and I both know that's not true. If you don't want her to go then you have to tell her the truth Santana" Kurt advised.

Santana darted her eyes around not knowing where to look. "I told you Kurt I can't break up with Brittany"

"But you also told me you liked Rachel as more than just a friend or a warm body" he reminded her.

"So? That doesn't mean anything" she shrugged trying to deny it.

"You know that's not true. You used to be the one and only Santana Lopez, a bitch, a HBIC, a total badass that never backed down from a challenge. A girl who was never afraid to say it how it was. Where the hell has that girl gone?" Kurt asked.

Santana shook her head "I don't know Kurt. Maybe she just grew up" she responded holding her arms out to gesture around her before crossing them over her chest. "We're not in high school anymore" she added quietly as she looked down at her fingers.

"Yes you may have grown up and yes we may not be in school anymore Santana but I know for a fact that that girl that used to have freshmen quivering behind their lockers and that girl who stood up for her friends even if it meant she risked becoming the outcast herself, I _know_ for a fact that that girl is still in there somewhere. Now it's just up to you to find her" Kurt explained while pointing to her.

"I not gonna tell you what to do over Brittany or how to deal with Rachel and your true feelings because that's not my place but all I'm asking is that you find the real you again, because I know this girl in front of me isn't her. Rachel deserves the truth Santana; you can't keep hurting her and not giving her anything to numb the pain. Just be true to yourself for once"

Santana locked eyes with him but didn't respond to his words, she knew he was right _yet again_ but she didn't have anything to say, not to him anyway. "We should get going unless you wanna miss your train" she turned around and got in the car.

Kurt sighed hoping at least some of his almighty wisdom had sunk in then he too got in the car next to Rachel in the back.

Once everyone was in Santana started the engine and began the short drive to the train station. She parked her jeep and helped both Kurt and Brittany with their luggage though she refused to carry the heavy suitcase she had named 'Kurt's sex toy sack' despite the boy's claims there was nothing dirty in that particular one at all.

Their train was due to leave in twenty minutes so the group were down to saying their final goodbyes for now.

"But you're still gonna come to Lima real soon right Sanny?" Brittany asked as she hugged her girlfriend tightly.

Santana smiled at the girl "Of course I'm still gonna come. I promised you I would and I'm not gonna break my promise Britt" she replied as she wiped away a single tear rolling down Britt's cheek with her thumb. "Don't cry Britt I'm only a phone call away remember. It's not like we will never talk again"

"I know but I'm still gonna miss you so much. I can't wait until I'm done with school and then we never have to be apart ever again" the blond whimpered into the brunette's shoulder.

Santana rubbed the girl's back in soothing circles "I'm gonna miss you too Britt-Britt"

"I had so much fun with you" Brittany stated as she pulled back from the warm embrace.

"Me too"

"I love you so much Santana"

"I love you too Brittany"

"So you're gonna be alright without me right?" Kurt asked Rachel. He decided to pull Rachel to the side to say their goodbyes so they weren't in ear shot of the other girls' 'I love yous'.

"It's gonna be hard I admit but if I need you I've got my lifeline" Rachel smiled sadly as she held up her cell phone.

"Good girl. You're gonna be just fine Rachel" he pulled her into another hug, he felt like he had hugged the girl more times in the last two weeks than he had ever hugged anyone before even Blaine.

"Thank you for everything Kurt" Rachel wiped at her own tears as she looked up at the boy.

Kurt smiled and cupped the girl's face "It's always a pleasure" he gave a mock bow and made Rachel laugh one last time. "So I guess I best go say goodbye to Satan" he looked over at the hugging girls before walking over there and leaving Rachel.

"I should say bye to ladylips I suppose" Santana fake groaned.

"Be nice" Brittany warned with a pointed finger "I'm gonna go give Rachel a hug, it looks like she could use one" the blond bounced off to do what she had said as Kurt came over to Santana.

"So I guess this is it" Kurt said to the Latina, not really knowing where he stood with her at the best of times let alone now.

"I guess so" Santana nodded.

The two stood still for a few seconds before Santana's face changed into a wide grin "Oh just come here" she held out her hands to receive a hug.

The boy happily accepted her gesture and wrapped his arms around her "Hmm you're actually really soft to hug. I thought you would have been hard and scaly" Kurt snickered as he pulled back.

"And I thought you would have been lacy and soft like a marshmallow but you're actually just like that pink fluff that you get on sexual handcuffs" Santana laughed back not that she knew what sexy handcuffs felt like…Brittany liked to experiment ok?

"Do you ever run out of those?" Kurt wondered.

"Afraid not, I've got so many"

"Ok but just remember you are gay _too_ and I have a few lesbian ones of my own" he winked at her.

"No you don't" she replied with confidence and a small sneaky smirk.

He nodded his head knowing she was right. "No I don't"

"You know I can't believe I'm actually about to say this but I think I'm actually gonna miss you. Kinda got used to smelling your watermelon body lotion wafting through my apartment"

"It's coconut but thank you I'm gonna miss you too. Where else can a boy be given such dramatic situations and borderline homophobic jokes from a Latino lesbian" he smiled with a wink.

"My pleasure" she smiled and they had a comfortable silence before she spoke again. "Um…you didn't tell Rachel about last night did you?" she wondered shyly.

"Of course not, but that doesn't mean you still shouldn't"

"Thank you…for not telling her I guess. I don't know what's gonna happen with Rachel and I but it's good to know I can rely on you even if you don't approve" Santana smiled nervously.

"Like I said I'm always here but Rachel is my best friend and if it was anyone who I could actually kick the ass of hurting her I would so do so but as it is you I'll settle for some strongly stated words" Kurt laughed. "Now come here and give me another hug will you?" he held his arms out once more and the Latina fell into his hold like they had been doing it all their lives. Their 'goodbye' ended in the exact same way as their 'hello' did weeks ago and they finished the visit in the same way it all started.

"Bye Ladylips have a safe trip and look after Brittany won't you?" she whispered softly.

"Bye Satan, thanks and I will guard her with my life" Kurt promised.

Santana and Kurt broke their embrace and locked eyes. "And tell the rest of the gang I said 'hi' won't you? As I know you love hanging around at McKinley like a creeper"

"Of course but I'm ignoring the clear jab at my social life"

Santana looked over the boy's shoulder to see Brittany and Rachel in what looked like a surprisingly comfortable hug. She couldn't hear what they were talking about but she could see their lips moving nonetheless.

"Bye Rachie, I'm gonna miss you" Brittany claimed as she released the girl from a hug with a big smile.

"Bye Britt, I'll miss you too" Rachel subtly wiped at a tear that was just about to break free and roll down her cheek. She _was_ gonna miss Brittany but perhaps not in the way Brittany was going to miss her. She tried not to feel guilty about wanting the blond out of the way, she valued Brittany's friendship but this whole situation with Santana was much more concerning for her right now.

Brittany bent down to pick up her suitcase and smiled one last time at the little diva. "Make sure you look after Santana ok? I mean I know you two have your differences at times but she can hide her feelings well and I know that you mean more to her than she pretends. You just need to be there for her"

Rachel nodded but didn't speak. If only Brittany knew the half of it, but the blond was right Santana was good at hiding her feelings but nothing can be hidden for ever. Things always get discovered sooner or later.

Santana and Kurt walked back over to Rachel and Brittany. "Ok so are you ready Britt?" Kurt asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be Kurtie" Brittany smiled widely though she was still sad to be leaving when it seemed like she had only just gotten there. The blond turned to Santana and pulled her into one last tight hug, the tears already beginning to fall. "Bye Sanny I miss you already" Brittany cried, her voice breaking midway through her sentence.

Santana rubbed at the blond's back "Miss you too" Santana caught sight of Rachel watching them over Brittany's shoulder; Santana closed her eyes and just held her girlfriend for those few short seconds. She took a deep breath to get one last sniff of Brittany's perfume, it was one of the best things she had ever smelt and she could never forget it even if she tried. "I love you" she whispered softly.

"I love you too" Brittany sobbed.

When the blond finally pulled away Kurt took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. The two walked towards the train with their bags throwing their finally waves and blowing kisses back and forth.

Santana and Rachel stood almost side by side; Rachel was a little ahead of Santana as they waved at their departing friends. They watched the pair get on the train and take their seats, Brittany of course sitting next to the window in order to wave frantically at her girlfriend standing so small next to an equally small Rachel.

The waves and kisses lasted until their train left and was eventually out of sight. Santana swiped away her tears quickly as the image of her girlfriend's excited yet sad face disappeared from her view. She sighed at the loss she felt in her heart.

Rachel on the other hand was already slowly walking away making her way back to Santana's jeep. She had considered just getting a cab back but she didn't have any money on her and she didn't really have the energy to walk. Santana stood still for a few seconds before realising Rachel was walking away. The Latina took one last glance down in the direction the train had left before she started to jog to catch up with Rachel.

"Rach, wait!" she called but the diva didn't stop.

Rachel had her arms wrapped around her small body like she was hiding herself, or she could have just been cold but Santana figured it was the first one.

"Rachel…stop, please!" Santana caught up with the girl and reached an arm out to grab Rachel's elbow.

Rachel turned around, tear stains down her face looking up into Santana's eyes. "What?" she asked like she had become a child.

"Are you ok?"

"Does that matter?" Rachel replied before trying to continue walking away but Santana was quick to grab her once again and keep her in place.

"Rachel we can't keep this up. We used to be friends and now it's like we can't even have a conversation" the Latina explained.

Rachel shrugged. "Things change Santana, people change. You should know that by now"

"So what happens now? I mean with Brittany and Kurt gone what happens with us?"

Rachel looked around the train station "I don't know but I don't think it's something we have to think about, I'm moving out remember?" she tried once again to walk away and this time managed to get a few feet away from the Latina but after Santana realised the girl was gone she ran to catch her again and jumped in front of Rachel to block her path.

"This isn't the end of all this Rachel" Santana spoke like she was assuring Rachel there was more to come between them and they couldn't just leave it there like that..

"Isn't it?" Rachel sighed.

"No of course not, we can't just throw away our friendship over some mistakes" Santana frowned down at the girl.

"Just take me home Santana" Rachel said dejectedly. If all this was nothing but a 'mistake' to Santana Rachel guessed there was nothing more to say.

Santana sighed but did as she was asked; she walked ahead of Rachel and back to her vehicle as Rachel followed several feet behind, her arms still wrapped securely around her body.

Santana unlocked the driver's door and climbed in slamming it behind her. She waited until Rachel got in the jeep before starting the ignition and driving off without another word said.

They got back to the apartment and the whole way from the car to the front door of their apartment was walked in silence. Rachel still several feet behind Santana until they got to the elevator where Santana held the doors for Rachel to get in before it had chance to go up without her.

Santana unlocked the apartment and they both walked in still in their awkward silence. Rachel refused to take off her jacket making Santana believe maybe the girl was just cold back at the train station after all. Santana threw her own jacket on the couch half pissed and half depressed.

"Do you want some coffee or anything to eat?" Santana asked out of pure consideration and of course to break the awkward silence.

Rachel shook her head. "No thanks, I'm actually really tired so I'm just gonna go to bed" she said softly.

"Ok…goodnig-" Santana went to say but Rachel shut her bedroom door before she could finish.

Defeated herself, Santana went into the kitchen and made herself some coffee. Though she wasn't really all that hungry she grabbed a snack from the fridge and sat down to eat.

The apartment suddenly felt so empty and lonely without anyone around. Even before Brittany and Kurt came to visit Rachel's presence around her was usually enough to keep Santana entertained. The girl was always so colourful and full of light but now the diva wanted nothing to do with her and Santana couldn't really blame her.

Santana sighed to herself thinking over everything that had happened over the last few weeks. How she once was so in love with Brittany she wouldn't dare look at another girl, but since the first time she slept with Rachel it was like everything had changed and it couldn't change back.

She couldn't control herself around Rachel and she knew it was more than just teenage hormones raging through her body, turning her into something she never wanted to be to Brittany…a cheater.

A year ago the thought of hurting Brittany was something she couldn't even comprehend and technically it still was but her body reacted differently when it came to Rachel. Just knowing she had betrayed her girlfriend made her feel sick and her chest ache but in a different way than when she was with Rachel.

Santana finished her coffee in the boring silence of the kitchen and she ate her food with all the confusing thoughts running through her mind.

When she was done she put her coffee mug into the sink and brushed the crumbs from her shirt, then went into the living room to watch TV. She realised that if Rachel moved out this is how depressing her life would be every single day. '_No wonder why people get cats.'_

She spent a couple of hours watching some random stuff on TV until she found a film that interested her. It was Casablanca. She remembered that night when she came home from a hard day at college and found Rachel in her room watching this very film. They had watched it together and Rachel had fallen asleep on her, it was the perfect moment. Santana really missed being like that with Rachel. She just missed _Rachel_. The way they used to be.

Santana watched the whole movie almost falling asleep herself towards the end. When it had finished she turned the TV off. The room was dark as she hadn't turned the lights on; the only light in the apartment was coming from the hallway.

She went straight to her bedroom and switched the light on, a smile instantly reforming on her face when she saw what was sat on her bed. _That must be the thing Brittany had 'forgotten'_ Santana thought to herself as she walked up to her bed.

Sat there folded neatly in the middle of the mattress was one of Brittany's t-shirts, Santana recognized it as being one of the ones Brittany had slept in during the time she was staying. There was a note on top of the shirt; Santana picked it up to read it.

'_In case you get lonely during the night, I'll always be next to you. Love B xxx'_

Santana smiled and couldn't help the tear that rolled down her tanned cheek as she touched the writing on the note. It was written in pink ink with love hearts for the dots on the 'I's. Santana placed the note on the side next to her bed and picked up the shirt.

She brought it to her face and rubbed the softness of the material against her cheek. Then she tugged off her own shirt and pulled her girlfriend's one on. It was big on Brittany so it was even bigger on Santana. The hem came down to her mid thighs and the sleeves came down to her forearms but she didn't care because it was comforting when no one else was there to be so.

She sat on the bed and held herself in the shirt but her smile soon dropped when she realised something. It may have _been_ Brittany's but it didn't _feel _like her because it _wasn't_ her. It didn't smell like her either.

Brittany had only worn it a couple of times and while it had some of the blond's perfume on it it didn't have enough to actually feel like Brittany. But it was all she had left of her girlfriend right now so it had to be enough for her.

She fell back on the bed closing her eyes taking in the smell of the shirt trying to picture Brittany on top of her or lying next to her as if she never left but the only image that came to her mind was Rachel.

She thought back to their first time together when she took Rachel on her bed. How they looked into each other's eyes and how the fire burned between them and the heat took over their bodies as they made each other come.

Santana's eyes flung open feeling a jolt of arousal shoot through her from the memory. She sat back up and what she did next wasn't at all surprising, she wanted to say it was but she knew it wasn't. She stood up and with determination she stormed out of her room and into Rachel's.

Rachel was lying on top of her sheets on her bed, her face buried into her own hands. Santana looked at her and Rachel looked up at the Latina when she heard her enter her room. Rachel's face was covered in tear stains and her makeup was running down her cheeks, Santana knew she hadn't been sleeping but just crying this whole time.

The pair locked eyes as Santana shut the door behind her and stepped closer to Rachel. She climbed onto Rachel's bed and hovered over her for a second while Rachel rolled on to her back under the Latina. They looked deep into each other's big dark sad eyes; Rachel didn't know what Santana was about to do but decided to voice _something_ before anything happened.

"If you're gonna try and kiss me again please don't" she pleaded, her voice was broken and soft as her eyes darted to Santana's slightly parted lips before going back to her eyes. "I don't think I could handle it right now"

Rachel begged her with not only her voice but her eyes too and Santana didn't know if the girl was begging her to pull back or to go against what she had said and just close the small gap between them. But that wasn't Santana's original intention to begin with, even if it was what she wanted so badly to do right now, so she pulled back about an inch before shaking her head.

"No I'm not" she said simply.

"Then why are you in here?" Rachel wondered, involuntarily breathing harder at the feeling of having Santana's body on top of hers.

"Please don't leave me" Santana's eyes softened and Rachel found herself rather surprised at what Santana was asking. "Don't move out Rachel, stay" Santana begged.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not ready to lose you" Santana's hot breath hit Rachel's lips and the diva couldn't help but shudder slightly from the sensation.

With no reply from Rachel after a few seconds Santana figured Rachel's mind couldn't be changed and she crawled off the girl and was about to walk out accepting there was nothing she could do.

Rachel quickly sat up and reached out to grab a hold of Santana's hand tugging her back till she fell back on the bed

"Only if you stay with me" Rachel softly insisted but she still had some nerves over whether or not Santana would actually stay.

Santana nodded and climbed over Rachel to lay behind her so her front was pressed against Rachel's back once Rachel laid back down to join her. Santana wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and for the first time just held her in bed in a non-sexual way.

She moved Rachel's hair aside and buried her face into Rachel's neck and placed a soft lingering kiss against the skin she found there.

Rachel relaxed into the safe comfort she felt with Santana holding her and the tingles she was feeling as the Latina's lips ghost over her skin. She knew Santana wasn't doing it for sexual reasons and she actually was rather grateful for that because tonight she just wanted someone and the only someone that made her feel as safe and as loved like this was Santana.

As Santana shifted to get more comfortable she realised how perfectly she and Rachel could fit together and how great it felt to just lay here with Rachel in her arms even if they weren't doing anything. In fact in Santana's opinion she thought purely cuddling with someone was always better than having sex with them.

"Santana?"

"Hmm" Santana hummed as she took in the smell of Rachel's skin, her perfume was just as good as Brittany's and she secretly hoped it would mix with the blond's and get on her t-shirt.

"What are we now? I mean what do we do now we're alone again? Are we-" Rachel had so many questions but Santana cut her off not wanting to give her answers just yet even if by now she had them to give.

"Shh Rachel don't. Don't speak. Just let me hold you tonight, please?" Santana asked softly, her hot breath stroking Rachel's neck as Santana played gently with the girl's hair and shifted closer into her body.

Spooning Rachel was so much easier than spooning Brittany due to the fact she was so much shorter.

Rachel just nodded "Ok" she reluctantly accepted. This had to be better than nothing after all.

She gave a small smile even though she knew Santana couldn't see her face but at least she was no longer crying. She felt warm and safe in Santana's strong arms and even if she still had some confusion with what she and Santana were at least the girl was here with her now and she was holding her and deep down inside Rachel knew that's all she ever really wanted.

She just wanted Santana and even if it was only for one night, tonight she had her.

**A/N:**** Aww don't you just love Kurt? He's trying to be a good friend to all parties involved. And I bet you all totally thought Santana was gonna have sex with Rachel at the end there, dirty minds lol.**

**Ok so I hope you all enjoyed that chapter, Britt and Kurt have **_**finally**_** gone. Amazing how their visit was only meant to be one chapter haha oh well things happen. Also just so you know Brittany isn't gone for good I will be writing the chapter where Santana goes to visit her in lima but don't worry too much Pezberry fans, it could be good news you never know. Plus I do like writing my drama ;)**

**Anyway next chapter is probably gonna be filler because I don't know how much longer this story is gonna go for and I want to make it as good and as long as I can for you dedicated readers. So the next chapter will NOT be the Rachel's date chapter that I have alluded to in the past but it will be coming up, possibly the one after it so stay tuned.**

**Next chapter teaser:**** So now that Santana asked her to stay will Rachel really move on out or will she stay? Only she knows (well and me of course but I'm not gonna tell ya just yet, tease). Plus Santana calls upon an old 'friend' for some help while Rachel gets some advice from a **_**very**_** unlikely source. Any guesses on who they are? Maybe not who you'd expect. **

**Hope this has you wanting more and now you probably have even more questions than before haha that's what I do…please leave your lovely reviews and I'll see you next time :) Or come say hi on Twitter, I don't bite I promise unless you want me too ;) You may also direct any questions there if you prefer. See you guys soon :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**TITLE**: Just Lonely Chapter 12

**PAIRINGS:**

Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)

Brittana (Santana/ Brittany)

**RATING: **M

**A/N****: Thanks so much you guys. You're reviews were amazeballs as always and I love to read them. Sorry this one took a while. **

**So I guess it's time to find out who these mystery someone's will be that help out Santana and Rachel. Loads of you said Quinn will come into it some how that's very interesting…she might, though she might not. Maybe she's reserved for another reason altogether, after all I still haven't revealed Rachel's mystery date have I? But who knows? So there are three people that could possibly be Quinn but then again she might not be in it at all. Guess you'll have to read on and find out hehe. This is kind of a filler chapter but it still moves the story along quite a bit.**

**Review response: (you may ignore this if you wish)**

**1LuvelyGurl: ****Aw thanks for the review. I'm sure you weren't the only one who though Santana was about to go there at the end haha. I bet even Santana and Rachel wanted to go there ;) Let's hope Santana sorts herself out soon.**

**raelynne9: ****You ask you may receive haha. I'm sure I can work on that one ;)**

**ichigo111981: ****Yeah Rachel may be weak but sometimes that's what love does to us. I am trying not to make you hate any of the characters but honestly when it comes to Santana the reason I can't hate her is because she's just too much like me I guess. Her feelings for Rachel are still fresh and so just give her time to figure it all out. I get that some people will hate Rachel and Santana for what they are doing but at the end of the day it's a dramatic and angsty FanFiction and that's the way I'm writing it. I know it may be hard to read sometimes but as they say 'it gets better'. It will all come out eventually and then maybe Santana and Rachel will see the bad side too. I don't know if you are enjoying the fic or not but I hope you will be happy with the overall outcome when it ends.**

**Gleek1990: ****Aww I miss both Britt and Kurt. But at least Santana may now have some headspace to see what she really wants.**

**Zuperkt: ****Aww poor Brittany I feel like I should give her a hug in this story. There could be some sweet lady kisses in the near future or maybe some groping who knows lol. You'll have to wait and see. As for me writing for glee it would be a dream because yes that show really does suck balls now. Though I have to say if I were to write glee it would probably be mostly Brittana love and Faberry too lol. Though I'd totally put some Pezberry in just for you ;)**

**Dayabieberxo: ****I Miss Britt-Britt too :( don't worry though she's coming back :) where would the drama be without her? It's hard to write a story that ends up with her getting hurt in such a bad way especially when Santana is the one hurting her. Yeah old Santana was better who knows she may be back real soon. Kurt knows all! I agree with you about her heart, I know everyone has different opinions but at the end of the day Santana is gonna do what Santana is gonna do and no one can stop her. I think it will take some time for all three girls to really get over what has happened if it all comes out. Don't worry I'm keeping the story realistic so it won't be like Brittana break up and suddenly Pezberry are engaged lol this isn't like canon (shameless dig at the glee writers). There's always the possibility Santana can lose Brittany as her best friend too which would suck but at the same time I don't think we could blame Britt. There's a lot for Santana to think about right now and I'm gonna touch on it all eventually I promise :) and don't worry about the long review I love reading them.**

**LovingJacobBlack: ****Sorry I don't know if it's just me or what but I totally didn't get the first sentence of your review? Lol But anyway of course Quinn will turn up somewhere haha. Though I'm not gonna tell you for who she's gonna be helping but me writing a story with no Quinn is like season 4 of glee…crap! Haha. Hope you enjoy this chapter just as much.**

**momo0424: ****Thank you so much :)**

**redroseangel27: ****Yeah Kurt's one of the good guys for sure. I hope Santana can too but maybe it might take losing Rachel to someone else for her to make her choice. Santana always gets what she wants though.**

**sisterkayy: ****Hey it's not a Pezberry fic for nothing ;)**

**OTHangels: ****Thanks very much :)**

**wordplay2007: ****Sorry I don't mean to kill you lol but glad you love the story. I don't hate them either and honestly I don't think I ever can, in this fic anyways. As for the teasers and cliff-hangers hey what kind of writer would I be if I didn't leave you with them haha. Gotta make you want more, right? Sorry the chapter wasn't longer I wanted to end it there for suspense plus it was originally three chapters with the previous two but I cut it up. Hopefully quality makes up for lack of quantity sometimes. I look forward to your reaction on this chapter :)**

**CarolineSC: ****Thank glad you liked it. You think its Quinn too hey? I think it's someone even more unlikely but they are a blond female too ;)**

**Guest: ****Sorry if I kept you waiting, here it is now though.**

**Concerned: ****Of course I'm gonna finish what I started, why wouldn't I?**

**Okay on with the show my friends…**

Santana's eyes fluttered open the next morning, the feeling of slight sunlight and warmth brushing across her tanned cheek made her groan. It took a few seconds from opening her eyes to realise she wasn't in her own bed. Panic immediately started to set in when she realised she was in fact in Rachel's bed, but after remembering what had happened last night her heart started to calm down and her breathing returned to normal.

She carefully removed her arm that was still wrapped around Rachel's waist being sure not to wake the other girl up. She looked at the clock to see it was already midday but she figured both of them had the excuse to sleep in after the draining night before (or rather draining last few weeks).

Santana tried hard not to make a single noise as she sat up in Rachel's bed, her throat felt dry and she could still feel the dried up tear stains that had crept down her face the night before. She saw that both she and Rachel were still in some sort of clothing so she could definitely rule out any possibility that they actually did anything they perhaps shouldn't have last night.

A pang of guilt instantly hit her though when she remembered the shirt she was wearing was Brittany's. She sighed rather loudly before feeling a shift in the bed next to her. Rachel rolled over from her side on her back bumping into Santana slightly.

The touch made Santana look back at the other girl, she was still sleeping and Santana couldn't help the smile that crept up on her face at how cute the brunette looked. Rachel's hair was all messy and she was almost smiling in her sleep. She must have been dreaming because she kept making cute little whimpers and moans every few seconds.

Before she knew it Santana was reaching out with one hand to brush the hair out of her face, exposing more of her beauty to the daylight pouring in through the slightly parted curtains. "You are so gorgeous." Santana whispered as she brushed her thumb over Rachel's cheek bone.

"I'd return the compliment but I wouldn't want to freak you out." Rachel's husky morning voice replied as the girl's eyes opened slowly. Rachel brought her own hand up to cover Santana's before the Latina had a chance to pull it away which she was so gonna do. "But nonetheless you too are rather stunning." she stated carefully as she locked eyes with Santana.

"I thought you were asleep." Santana quickly darted her eyes away and pulled her hand back when Rachel finally let go of it.

"Clearly." Rachel said. "You know that's the first night we've ever sleep together without actually _sleeping_ together." the smaller girl informed. She wanted to laugh at the sad truth behind her own statement but managed to keep it in.

"I know," Santana replied nervously as she fiddled with the material of Rachel's bed sheets. A smile suddenly formed on her face.

Rachel found herself smiling just from the other girl's and she asked "That shirt is a little giant isn't it?" Rachel laughed as she tugged on the bagginess of her t-shirt.

Santana's smile instantly fell and this didn't go unnoticed by Rachel who started to regret trying to joke with the Latina. Maybe it was just too soon. "It's Brittany's, she gave it to me." Santana informed.

"Oh."

"It's comfy. And it smells like her." Santana said knowing full well it actually smelt more like Rachel now than of her girlfriend. She brought her own hand up to toy with the shirt as Rachel's hand let go.

"Are you ok?" Rachel asked hearing the sadness in the other girl's tone.

Santana refused to look into Rachel's eyes but nodded anyway. "I'm fine. I just miss her that's all." Santana stated not sure if she was telling the truth or just trying to reassure herself she did miss the blond. Of course she missed Brittany in some way but it felt different than the way she used to miss her.

She used to want to be around Brittany all the time, never wanting to leave her behind. The night Santana left for New York was a perfect example of that; they young couple spent the whole day before that crying, laughing, hugging and making love then when she finally let go of Brittany's hand that day she thought she would never survive in the big city without her girlfriend by her side. When she moved in with Rachel the diva kinda took some of that fear and loneliness and threw it straight out of the window. Rachel was almost the replacement of the bond she had with Brittany at the time just without the romance part. But recently it was like Rachel was becoming the whole package and Santana was less and less concerned that the girl was _literally_ taking the place of Brittany.

"I miss Kurt too. I mean I know it's not the same but…" Rachel trailed off as she sat up a little leaning up against the headboard while Santana still sat up on the other side of the bed. She really wanted to ask about last night, what it all meant and what they were now but she knew Santana wasn't in the mood to talk right now. _Just like every other time_.

But there was still one question that was begging to be asked and Rachel needed to know before Santana closed off again.

"Did you mean what you said last night?"

"What part?" Santana knew _exactly _which part but she didn't want to seem too eager.

"That you want me to stay? That you're not ready to lose me?" Rachel leaned forward in her sitting position getting closer to Santana till their lips were only inches apart. Both girls' eyes darted between each other's lips and eyes. Rachel could feel Santana's breath ghost over her face and it was so warm and comforting it was hard not to want to close the gap between them. "Do you really want me to stay?" she repeated, this time much quieter and hotter against Santana's lips.

Santana found herself closing the gap slightly between them but not going close enough to press her lips against Rachel's. A few seconds passed before she regained her awareness stopping herself from kissing Rachel she replied. "I-I…um I should call Brittany."

Santana pulled away completely causing Rachel to sigh in rejection. She was _so_ close. "Make sure she got home alright." Santana stood up from the bed and practically ran out of the diva's room.

"Take that as a no." Rachel mumbled to herself as she fell back into her pillow and covered her face with her hands with slight frustration.

Santana rushed back to her own room not even glancing back. She slipped inside and shut her door behind her leaning up against it with a loud and deep exhale. She could feel her heart jumping inside her chest; she figured it was a warning to never be that close to Rachel ever again, especially when lying on the brunette's bed.

"Fuck Lopez" she muttered to herself as she tugged off her t-shirt that Brittany had given her and threw it down on her bed. She grabbed a towel, a change of clothes and the rest of her bathing things before slipping back out of her room and headed into the bathroom to take a shower.

Santana stripped off the rest of her clothes before stepping into the shower and letting the almost freezing water rush over her heated body. She didn't care in the slightest the water wasn't heating up, she knew she needed to cool down and clear her head.

She washed her hair hoping it would wash some of the guilty feeling she had running through her veins, her skin felt dirty yet she didn't really know why. She just guessed it had something to do with the fact she had slept with Rachel last night even though they didn't actually do anything she should feel guilty about.

As she soaped up the rest of her body she remembered what she had said to Rachel the night before. She had asked Rachel to stay and not to move out and she meant it. _Every_ word she had said she had _meant_. Santana didn't know if she could let Rachel move out and just accept that as her fate when all she had to do to stop it from happening was to tell the diva the truth, the _real _truth and not the fake truth she had been hoping was enough to keep Rachel.

Rachel was a determined person but Santana knew it was only a matter of time until the girl got fed up of waiting for her or putting up with all her bullshit before she took the next step and just moved on. Santana couldn't let that happen she _had_ to do something before she lost the girl forever.

Santana stepped out of the shower once she was clean. She still didn't feel complete but the water had done enough to make her feel refreshed for yet another confusing day of feelings.

She quickly threw on her sweatpants and a loose t-shirt before towel drying her hair.

_**Back in Rachel's room:**_

Rachel hadn't moved since Santana left her room. The Latina's words from last night still fresh in her mind. Did Santana really not want her to leave or was this just another one of the girl's games to get her own way again? Rachel was torn; of course she didn't want to leave this was her apartment just as much as it was Santana's place and they had moved in together and made so many good memories here. It hurt to think she was about to pack up and leave that all behind. But also she hated the idea of staying and putting herself through more pain and heartbreak than she had already gone through at the hands of Santana.

Rachel sighed deeply as she rolled on to her side from her back, she listened to the faint sound of the shower a few rooms over, she found it hard not to picture Santana inside it trying to wash away all memory of last night.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden vibration on her bedside unit. The sound alone startled Rachel slightly as she blinked for what felt like the first time since waking up. She sat up realising it was her phone ringing. She quickly picked it up to see Kurt's name on her screen. She couldn't help but smile before pressing the 'accept' button and bringing the phone to her ear.

"Hey Kurt." She smiled into the greeting.

"_Hey girl, miss you already. I just had to call_." He said happily down the line.

"I miss you too Kurt. So glad you decided to call actually. It's good to talk to someone who actually says more than a few words before running away." Rachel replied almost bitterly.

"_Oh no that doesn't sound good. What's happened? We only left last night._" The boy reminded slightly surprised at how quickly Santana could upset Rachel, he didn't have to know what happened to know it was Santana's fault.

Rachel sighed before leaning back against the headboard. "To be honest I'm not really sure myself. I mean last night Santana came into my room and she told me she wanted me to stay." Rachel tried to keep her voice as quiet as possible; she didn't need Santana to know she was talking about her behind her back, even if she kinda had the right to. "She slept in my bed last night-"

"_Uh huh you don't waste anytime do you?_" Kurt was quick to cut her off.

Rachel chuckled at the boy's overreaction before continuing. "No we didn't _do_ anything. She just wanted to lay with me and hold me. If it wasn't so confusing I'd say it was the most romantic and intimate thing I've ever experienced, with her at least. I tried to speak to her but she wouldn't let me talk."

"_Is that all she said? She just wanted you to stay?_"

Rachel shrugged to herself. "Pretty much, she just asked me not to move out because she wasn't ready to lose me."

"_That little…ok so what did you say?_"

"I'd said I'd stay if she stayed with me."

"_And her response to that was…?_"

"She got into bed with me and stayed the night holding me. I mean that's all I've ever wanted was her to just be with me like that and to hold me." Rachel admitted. "I tried to ask her what that meant for us but she told me she just wanted to hold me and not speak."

"_Aww that's so romantic._" Kurt gushed most likely with a huge smile on his face and dreamy eyes.

Rachel's mood changed instantly. "Yeah it would have been if this morning never happened after."

"_Details?_"

"The classic morning after situation Kurt. We both wake up and that's when all the regret comes flooding down." Rachel stated as she looked down at her free hand that was sat in her lap.

"_So she doesn't want you to stay?_" Kurt wondered.

"Honestly I have _no_ idea, I asked if she meant all the stuff she had said but she couldn't even look me in the eye and give me a one word answer before running out the room claiming she had to call Brittany. But I know _that's_ a lie considering she went straight to the shower. And I'm pretty sure if she hadn't of pulled away when she did we would have kissed again." Rachel added the last bit with slight hesitation of Kurt's reaction.

"_Oh my god Rachel! I swear to god this drama is more than I need right now. That girl is obviously into you just as much as you are into her I can't believe she still won't admit it._" Kurt said.

Rachel shrugged once again. "Well I really just wish she would put aside her stupid pride or whatever it is that's stopping her from saying something because I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take."

"_So are you staying now or still moving out?_"

"I don't really know yet, I mean nothings really changed between us. She's still just a girl with a girlfriend who I'm in love with." Rachel said sadly as she toyed with the hem of her shirt.

"_Talk to her!_" Kurt stated as if it was the simplest and obvious answer there was for this situation.

"And say what Kurt? I think everything I have to say I've said at least 100 times, she still doesn't care."

Kurt sighed heavily down the phone. "_Rachel, as much as you complain about her never talking to you about her feelings, have you ever just told her how you actually feel? As much as I agree she should say something, anything to put you out of your misery but have you ever just thought about telling her that you're in love with her?_"

Kurt's words made Rachel think. She _hadn't_ really considered telling Santana that much about her feelings because she knew the Latina would instantly dismiss them. Santana wasn't exactly known for being very easy to talk to when it came to feelings; Rachel knew the other girl would shut down immediately at the mention of the L word.

"I _can't_. I just can't tell her something so big when she can't even admit that she even _likes_ me. It will just make our whole thing worse and so much more awkward, mostly for me." Rachel felt a single tear roll down her cheek and quickly wiped it off with her free hand.

"_So what are you gonna do now?_" Kurt's voice asked softly.

"I don't know yet, but I should go I don't want her to hear me."

"_Sure. Call you later?_"

"You better." Rachel smiled through her sadness. "Bye Kurt."

"_Bye Rachie_."

Rachel put her phone back down on the bedside until before snuggling back into her bed under the sheets where she willed herself to fall back to sleep until she could wake up and all her feelings could be sorted out.

What Rachel didn't know was the end of her conversation was overheard anyway.

Santana stood outside Rachel's room, the door was shut but she could just about make out the sound of the diva's voice. She guessed she must have been on the phone to Kurt or someone.

Santana's heart had gone back to pounding in her chest at the words Rachel had spoken only a few moments before. '_She's still just a girl with a girlfriend who I'm in love with'_

Santana leant against the wall outside the diva's room, her hair still wet from her shower as those few words ran through her head. She knew Rachel liked her, the little brunette had made that pretty clear but Santana had only heard Kurt say Rachel was in love with her. Now she had heard the girl say it herself it changed everything completely. It made it so much more real, like she could no longer ignore it.

She didn't know how to react; no one had ever told her they loved her before other than Brittany and her parents. With Brittany it was easy because she had fallen for the blond a long time before.

Santana silently cursed herself, now she knew Rachel loved her it made it so much harder to push away her _own_ feelings. The confession meant that all she needed to do was make her own and she could have Rachel; there was no doubt over it. It would be that simple. But then she thought about Brittany and how much she loved the blond, she couldn't just throw away everything with Brittany she had built up over the years to follow these new almost sudden feelings she had for Rachel, even if they felt so right.

Santana went straight back to her room, shutting and locking the door behind her. She threw Brittany's t-shirt back on over her own before collapsing down on the bed with a head full of emotion.

She glanced over at her phone at the side of her bed thinking she should probably call Brittany like she had told Rachel she was going to do. She reached out her hand to grab her cell and bring it back.

Santana unlocked her screen and a small smile lit up on her face when she was met with her phone's wallpaper, it was a picture of her and Brittany of course. The blond was kissing her cheek while Santana was facing the camera and taking the picture of the two of them. Santana had a goofy grin on her face and she couldn't help but remember the times when that grin meant she was happy and had her whole-self figured out. Though she hadn't smiled like that for quite some time.

Santana brought the material of the front of her (Brittany's) shirt up to her nose to take in the smell of her girlfriend's perfume, but it didn't take a second sniff to realise the shirt only really smelt of a certain tiny brunette. A faint whiff of Brittany still lingered on the fabric but not enough to make it seem like the blond was actually with her, like Britt had clearly intended it to do.

Santana didn't even realised tears had begun to form in her eyes until one rolled down her cheek. She glanced back at the picture of her and Brittany, how perfect everything had once been before she moved away to New York. She went into her picture folder on her phone to look at the others of her and Brittany before everything went wrong and changed. There was one of her and the blond at prom; she remembers how amazing that night was alone. How much fun they had, how they danced together in front of the rest of the school without caring about who was watching or whispering about them. How they went to get burgers and milkshakes afterwards with Quinn, Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes, Sam, Joe, Sugar, Artie, Mike and Tina. How they went back to Brittany's house and practically made love all night long. It was quite literally the perfect night. It was all Santana had ever wanted since she met Brittany, a night where they could just be themselves and be in love without caring about the consequences.

She flicked passed a few more photos, there was one of the pair in their Cheerios uniforms. And another of them as young girls, around the time they first met and became friends. Brittany would always tell the story of how they met like it was her proudest moment. The blond would always have the most adorable smile on her face when she'd recite the exact lines of dialogue that they had said to each other which of course Brittany remembered word for word like it was her job to do so. Things like that always made Santana proud to call the girl her girlfriend.

The next picture Santana came to was a familiar picture, this time it wasn't of her and Brittany though, it was a picture of her and Rachel together. It was the same picture she had spent a possible inappropriate amount of time staring at just a few weeks prior to now. It was the one of her and Rachel together when they had just moved into their new apartment.

Santana remembered how she felt that day, almost the same as how she felt when she took the picture with Britt that serves as her cell wallpaper. She was _so_ happy with Rachel that day and she knew it was the beginning of something amazing but she never figured it would be this life changing. But at the same time she didn't hate that it had become this way.

She ran her thumb over the cute smiling face of Rachel berry that sat on her phone. The diva looked just as happy as she did maybe even more so. In fact back in high school Santana had never seen Rachel smile so widely or so much when she was around Santana. It was like the transition into living together also provided a transition in their friendship and made it a stable thing whereas before it had been so touch and go, mostly on Santana's part.

It's not that she never wanted to be friends with Rachel back in the day, it's just back in high school she was dealing with so much personal crap and far too busy trying to be 'top bitch' all the time that she never really cared about anyone else other than herself and of course Brittany behind closed doors at the time. At the end of the day though Santana was more than happy that she and Rachel had worked out their differences by the end of the school year and before they graduated she would actually admit she thought Rachel was kinda cool.

As her thumb ran over Rachel's face, as if she were trying to actually touch the flawless skin of Rachel's body, Santana let a few more tears fall in the comfort of her own room.

After few minutes Santana's head perked up away from her phone to stare off into the distance of her room, it was all too much. All so confusing and painful. She needed real guidance at this point.

She didn't really know if hearing Rachel's confession had really made this harder or easier for herself, but she knew she needed to talk to someone: someone who could provide a whole new view on the situation.

Her attention fell back to her cell phone in her hand. She scrolled down her contacts list till she came to the one name she needed right now. She bypassed Brittany's name to get to the name she never really thought she would call for advice ever again but she needed a fresh perspective and more importantly she needed a friend who was less likely to judge her.

She hit the call button and pressed her phone to her ear listening to the dial tone.

A few seconds later the person on the other end picked up with a rather cheery greeting.

Santana took a deep breath and wiped away her tears with the bottom of Brittany's shirt before putting on her best Lopez persona.

"Puck?" her tentative voice sounded quietly in her empty room.

"_Lopez? Long-time no see_." Noah Puckerman replied. Santana could practically hear the grin in his words.

Santana didn't know what it was but something about hearing Puck's voice made her feel safe again, it made her feel like everything was gonna be okay even when she knew it wouldn't be. She didn't know whether it was because they used to date or 'hook-up'. Or maybe it was because Puck had actually been a good friend when she needed him to be; he was her 'lesbro' and probably always would be. Or maybe it was just because Puck was from the past, his voice reminded her of the times when her life was simple. When she used to get heat exhaustion from the many excessive Cheerios practices Coach Sylvester insisted on pushing her girls through, and when she used to have to beg just to sing a solo in glee club because three diva's in one club was already too many. But mostly Puck's voice reminded her of the days when she had just come out and everyone in glee club including Rachel and Puck himself would stick up for her whenever someone would gossip about her or Brittany. And it reminded her of the several times Puck had actually gotten into fights defending her relationship with the blond when the football jocks would spout rude or perverted comments about their romance, though Puck wouldn't admit that's what the fights were about but Santana knew better.

Puck was safe to her; he was almost like a home to her.

Santana swallowed down the memories of high school that were threatening to bring tears to her eyes once again before replying. "I know, how's LA?"

Puck gave a slight laugh. "_Pretty sweet. Got myself a hot little Californian girl._" His smirk more than evident.

Santana's eyebrows quirked. "Like a girlfriend?" she wondered in surprise.

"_I know right? Never thought I'd see the day but hey anything can happen I guess._" Puck replied with what Santana presumed was a nonchalant shrug.

"True." Santana answered knowing all too well that _anything really can happen_ in life.

"_So what's up? How's the east coast? Could use a little Puckster I bet_." He chuckled in his over confident way Santana had grown used to even if it did still irritate her sometimes.

Santana grew a genuine smile before replying. "No its fine, it's got plenty of Lopez in it."

"That's true." Noah laughed; he had always loved the way Santana could match up to his witty remarks with her own snide comments. In fact he often worried Santana would always out-do him with their banter plays, which she usually did.

Silence fell upon them, at first it started out comfortable but soon grew awkward when the pair could only hear each other's breath down the phone line and background sound to wherever Puck was.

"I didn't wake you did I?" Santana decided to ask to fill the void in their conversation.

"_No I was up, spent the night at my girl's so I got up early to head home. Is this really why you called me San?_" the boy asked. It wasn't often Puck used her first name and it was even less likely for him to use her nickname, so it was clear to Santana he knew she had phoned for a genuine reason and not just to catch up. Noah may not be the brightest crayon in the box but he was smart when it came to his friends especially friends like Santana, he knew so much about the girl he practically considered family.

"I need to talk to you about something." Santana said softly, the lump in her throat returning to cause problems and her eyes began to water again.

"_Oh okay that sounds serious?_" Puck's voice was just that.

"It is." Santana replied trying desperately to keep her sniffle from echoing down the phone.

Puck had seen her cry before, back when she was confused with her feelings for girls and for Brittany especially she would always go running to him for support or just to have someone hold her while she cried her eyes out. Most people assumed that they just hooked-up all the time but in actual fact she had probably spent more time at Puck's place just talking, crying, laughing and hanging out as friends watching movies and eating pizza more than they had spent rolling around in his bed without clothes on.

"_Are you crying?_" he asked carefully.

Santana quickly wiped her nose. "No shut up Puckerman!" she zipped right back into bitch mode for a few seconds before sighing indicating he was indeed right with his assumption.

"_Okay I'm sorry, what's wrong?_" he asked cautiously.

Santana closed her eyes and took a few seconds to compose herself before carrying on. "Okay so I don't really know why I'm gonna ask you this, you're not exactly the type to know about this sort of thing but it's not like I have anyone else to talk to and I need a fresh voice on the matter." The Latina explained.

"_Okay hit me. I'll use my magical Mohawk to solve your problems._" He said through a cheesy ass grin Santana was sure, though it did make Santana chuckle silently to herself for a second or two.

"Puck your hair is stupid. Fact! And even a little gay at times." She informed him of what _everyone_ was always thinking.

"_Well my new girlfriend doesn't seem to think so, she loves the hawk._"

"Maybe she's stupid too."

"_You're getting verbal so now I know it must be bad. Did you have a fight with Brittany or something?_" he asked.

Santana had to repress a small growl that had threatened to break through her gritted teeth; she hated that every time she had a problem people always assumed it was related to Brittany in some way. She had a life that was separate from her girlfriend too; it wasn't like they were joined at the hip or something. She just wished everyone else could use their initiative and separate the two at times like this.

"No I didn't fight with Britt, this isn't about Brittany. Well at least not directly." She sighed.

"_San come on just tell me what's going on. I can't help you unless you talk to me bro?_"

It was now or never so with one last deep breath Santana said "Have you ever liked two girls at once?"

Puck chuckled loudly down the phone causing Santana to flinch back a little from the sudden noise. "_Santana I'm Puck of course I have!_" he laughed out.

Santana rolled her eyes at his reaction. "Okay let me rephrase that. Have you ever been in _love_ with a girl then started to like a new one at the same time?" she spoke more hesitantly this time round.

"_Are we speaking hypothetically here or are you into someone else?_" the boy immediately asked.

"Just answer the question please." The Latina huffed in slight annoyance.

"_Okay, yes I have_."

"What did you do about it?"

"_Nothing much because the girl I fell in love with didn't love me back._" Puck answered almost sadly.

"Who was it?"

"_Do you really have to ask?_"

"Quinn." Santana stated sadly knowing Puck had been really into the blond back in the day.

"It's always been Quinn. Since the first day I met her I've wanted her as more than just a onetime thing. But she never wanted me back so when I fell for other girls it wasn't really such a problem for me." He explained.

"How did you get over her? I mean you must have done something to be so calm about it now." The Latina asked almost desperate to hear what he had to say.

"I never really did." That wasn't what Santana wanted to hear. "Being into someone else was kind of a help, like when I started to like Lauren it helped me get over Quinn a little."

Santana groaned "But I don't _want_ to be into someone else. I just want to be into Brittany again." Santana's eyes shot wide when she realised she may have just given away a little too much info right there as she started to panic.

"_Oh wow, so we're definitely not speaking hypothetical anymore._" Puck stated more than asked.

Santana sighed deeply before responding knowing she couldn't crawl out of this one. "We never were."

"_So you are into another girl? Who is it?_" he asked curiously.

"Doesn't matter."

"_It's not like Rachel or anything is it?_" Puck laughed maybe a little _too_ hard. Santana could do nothing but hold her breath and remain silent the whole time Puck was cracking up. She waited until his laughing fit had died down before letting out a shaky breath, but with no verbal response the boy didn't have to be a genius to put two and two together. "_Oh my god this just keeps getting better_."

"Puck this isn't a _good_ thing!" Santana reprimanded, she now remembered why everyone thought the boy was a total douchebag most of high school.

Noah cleared his throat to compose himself, Santana clearly needed his advice and he was gonna give it to her. Usually the Latina was stubborn and would never ask for help so the fact she had called him up and reached out to him he knew she was serious with all this so he needed to be just as serious for her. "_I know, I'm sorry_."

"What do I do?" Santana asked hopelessly.

"_Well what does your heart tell you to do?_"

"My heart is just as confused as my head. I mean I _love_ Brittany, I always have and I always will but it's not the same as it was when we first got together. I just can't help but think that maybe if I had just stayed in Lima until she graduated too none of this would have ever happened." She sighed depressingly. Puck felt bad for her, he had never heard her sound so broken and down, at least not since she was so torn up about Brittany being with Artie all that time ago.

"_You can't stop your heart from leading where it's gonna follow Santana_." Puck stated simply.

"Wow that's deep for you." Santana said surprised by his comment.

"_Thanks it's from a poem_." He said with a grin.

"You read poems now?" the Latina wondered sceptically.

"_Okay I made it up just don't tell anyone ok? All I know is when you fall for someone it's not something you can just turn your back on. You can't just ignore it, because it doesn't go away, trust me. The heart is the most powerful organ and love is the most powerful emotion and once they come out to play they won't go back in their cage_."

A silence fell upon them once more as Santana pondered the words of the suddenly oh wise Noah Puckerman and Puck let his words sink in. California and his new girlfriend really helped him expand his vocabulary among other useful and important life skills.

This time around their silence wasn't uncomfortable however. They spent a few minutes like that before Puck spoke up once again "_So you like Rachel and want to be with her?_" he spoke with genuine wonder.

"I don't know, I mean _yes_ I like her, I really like her and the thing is she likes me too." Santana explained half expecting to get some gay joke or a perverted comment from Puck but one didn't come.

"_So what's keeping you apart?_"

Santana could hear the frown in his voice. Sometimes she wondered the same thing but then she remembered "Brittany." it was the simple answer yet it was the most complicated answer all at once.

"_You don't wanna hurt her_."

"Of course not I still love her, I do, it's just-"

Puck quickly cut her off "-_complicated_."

"Yeah." Santana nodded to herself knowing Puck couldn't see her anyway.

"_But you like Rachel and that's simple enough_."

"That's different." Santana growled getting a little angry again.

"_How is it? I mean think back to when you first fell for Brittany, compare it to the way you feel about Rachel now. Is it the same?_"

"Pretty fucking close." She replied angrily, not sure if she was angry with Puck or herself for letting her body betray her and feel this way.

"_Well then there's not much more to question Lopez_." Puck stated knowing the use of her last name would show her he couldn't add more to this conversation and in his opinion it was over.

Santana didn't know what to add either, she knew in a way Puck was right just like Kurt had been right and Rachel had been right but there were still parts of her that knew it was wrong. "Okay but say I break up with Britt to be with Rachel. What happens if I fall for another girl or realise I made a mistake and really want Britt back?"

"_Who knows? You sure won't. You'll never know without trying San. Life isn't about playing it safe. You don't get anywhere without taking risks. If you jump yeah you might fall but also you may just fly, don't you wanna fly San?_"

Santana rolled her eyes at Puck's new found spirituality. "Yeah I guess that would be cool."

"_At the end of the day Lopez you just gotta trust your heart, it won't lead you astray. It always knows what's best for you in the end even if it does make the odd mistake from time to time on the way. But in the end it will always be okay_."

"You're really cheesy right now you know that?" Santana let herself laugh a genuine laugh for once.

"_Made you smile though didn't I_?" Puck grinned back.

"Maybe." Her voice was soft like a child's but her smile was still there. "Thanks Puck, you're a pretty good friend when you actually want to be."

"_You too Lopez and no problem, the Puckster carries all the answers when it comes to the ladies_." He smugly chuckled.

Santana rolled her eyes but also laughed. "Yeah you wish bro. Anyway I best go, I still gotta call Britt and I'm starving so."

"_Okay, but make sure you keep me updated; I mean we are friends on Facebook for a reason Santana_."

"I know. Thanks again, I'll talk to you later."

"_Good luck Lopez_."

"Bye Puck."

Santana hung up her phone and tossed it down on the bed next to her with a sigh of relief, least Puck didn't freak out on her or anything. And she was rather surprised with the lack of perverted comments from his mouth this time around. Santana stared at her phone for a few minutes before her growling stomach interrupted her boredom. She knew she had to call Brittany but she was pretty hungry so she decided to leave the phone call till later and leave her bedroom to go to the kitchen and make herself some breakfast.

When she reached the kitchen Rachel was already in there fully dressed and ready for the day. The sight surprised Santana after hearing how hurt the girl sounded on the phone with Kurt, the Latina figured Rachel would spend the rest of the day in bed.

"Morning…um afternoon." Santana greeted despite the fact they had woken up together and said their morning greetings already.

"Hello Santana, would you like some breakfast, I'm making toast." The diva said turning around to face the other girl as if nothing had happened between them that morning.

Santana was a little confused by the brunette's behaviour but shook her head, "No that's ok, I'll grab a bagel." She replied before heading over to the cupboard where they kept the bagels. After slathering an excessive amount of peanut butter inside her bagel Santana turned back around to face Rachel who was already eating her toast and downing a glass of fresh apple juice. "Steady, you don't wanna choke." Santana warned trying not to chuckle at how funny Rachel looked right now.

Rachel pulled the now empty glass away from her face before stuffing the last few bites of toast into her mouth and quickly chewing and swallowing in a very comical way. "Sorry but I'm already late." Rachel said looking at the clock in the kitchen as if she was ignoring Santana's presence and talking to herself.

Santana laughed dryly, "Late for what?"

"I'm going to the gym. I wanna get back into a physical routine before going back to school in a couple of days. After all Cassandra won't be taking it easy on us now we've had two weeks to rest up. I've got a lot to catch up on in terms of my body's fitness and I'm starting now so don't wait up." Rachel said in one big breath before heading towards the door of their apartment. She grabbed her jacket and her training bag and keys.

Santana furrowed her brow as she watched Rachel move about like she wasn't even in the room. "Wait I thought that tonight we could-" Santana was cut off by the door slamming shut and suddenly she was alone. "-talk." She ended her sentence to herself. "Nice one Lopez." She shook her head in disbelief of her failure.

She sat down at the kitchen island with her bagel and a can of soda. Once she had eaten her food she bit the bullet and went back into her bedroom to phone her girlfriend.

"_Hey baby_." Brittany's voice sounded chirpily in her ear. Santana's face fell immediately from the blond's tone. "I was starting to think you had forgotten about me." Brittany giggled at her own thoughts.

"No Britt of course not. I can _never_ forget you." She replied knowing that was the reason she couldn't just let herself be with Rachel because she couldn't just forget Brittany, she couldn't let her go.

_**Two days later:**_

Santana hadn't seen Rachel much in the past two days. The diva seemed to spend most of her time down at the gym and when she did come home she went straight to the shower and then off to bed claiming she was exhausted and should get some sleep. Santana didn't think it was wise to talk to Rachel when she just got home from working out because the girl was normally covered in sweat and her arm muscles that were exposed by the girl's t-shirt always seemed to catch the Latina's attention and lead her mind into places she shouldn't be going.

Right now Santana was in class, her first day back to college after their break. She only had twenty more minutes until the school day was over and she couldn't be happier about that one. She was meant to be listening to her lecture but the dude was boring the hell out of her so she was instead spending the class scribbling in her textbooks and drawing pictures of her driving various cool looking motorcycles she would never actually get on in reality.

She was also thinking about Rachel of course. All her feelings for the diva seemed to be put into more of a perspective since her conversation with Puck and hearing Rachel tell Kurt she was in love with her. It was true nothing was keeping them apart other than her relationship with Brittany.

She was rather pissed she wouldn't be able to go straight home after class because she got roped into doing a shift at the coffee shop she worked at after her class was over. That just made her day even more depressing. And it wasn't as if she could sneak a few cups of the coffee while her boss wasn't looking because she's said it once and she'll say it again, _'That coffee really does suck. It tastes like ass'_ Santana thought to herself before she started to chuckle lightly.

_**Later that day at NYADA:**_

Rachel was in class with Cassandra July at NYADA having just as much fun (or lack of) as Santana was.

"Let's take it from the top people. This was your first day back but don't think for one minute because you've spent the past two weeks eating nothing but Cheetos and drinking fruity soda drinks that I'm not gonna work you like the dogs you are!" Cassandra shouted out to her exhausted students.

Rachel had officially forgotten how long Miss July had been shouting at them while they did dance moves that apparently she had seen three legged dogs and babies perform better than her students. Rachel was completely exhausted and the way Cassie was bombarding them with directions and insults was reminding her of the time Santana had come to class at the start of their vacation and attempted to stand up to the demonic blond.

Despite the fact Rachel had been to the gym for the past couple of days just to stay clear of the Latina her body ached more now from one session with her dance teacher than the running machines at her local gym could ever make her feel.

"And a 1 and a 2 and a…what the hell was that Schwimmer?" Cassandra stopped her dance directions to focus in on Rachel's stumble that Rachel had barely realised she had done herself.

"Sorry I just slipped." Rachel replied nervously as the intimidating blond stalked over to her with her cane in hand slamming it down on the hardwood floor and looking deep into Rachel's eyes with an intense gaze, like she was about to devour Rachel's head.

"Halt the Broadway music people, little miss David Schwimmer slipped!" Cassie shouted looking around at her other students. "You can't afford to slip, trip or fall in a Broadway production Rachel, it's as simple as that. Now get your two left feet under control before I lose my patience." The blond turned back to head back to the middle of the room.

"Sorry but we've been dancing for hours with no break and it's almost the end of class, I just made a mistake." Rachel timidly replied.

Cassie turned to face Rachel once more. "Okay class dismissed for today but tomorrow don't think you'll be getting away with this lacklustre dancing you claim is talent. Now get out my sight, all of you. Go!" She hushed them away with a few flicks of her hands while she stood in the middle of the room with her eyes closed and one hand grasping the bridge of her nose while she leant on her stick with the other.

All the students quickly rushed to get their belongings to leave as fast as possible, Rachel didn't know whether Cassie was actually being nice to let them go a few minutes early or whether she would be making up for it tomorrow; call her a genius but she guessed it would be the second one.

Rachel took a few seconds to look at her teacher but when the woman started to move again so did Rachel. The tiny brunette went over to the window where she had set down her bag and water bottle when she first entered the classroom.

By the time Rachel had reached the window she looked back to see the classroom was practically empty, a few students remaining who were gathering their stuff also before heading out, but as far as her teacher went the blond was gone. So Rachel decided she would just sit down for a while now she had the peaceful silence of the dance room.

She knew Santana would most likely be finished with her shift at the coffee shop and she didn't really feel like going home just yet to be alone in their apartment with the Latina now Kurt was back in Lima. So she sat on the window sill and opened her water bottle to rehydrate. Her throat felt so dry right now and she knew it wasn't just because of Cassie's extreme dance routines; it was also because she couldn't stop thinking about Santana as usual. She knew she should but how could she when _everything_ reminded her of Santana, even her dance class.

The longer she sat there the more she thought about Santana; even going to the gym to avoid being alone with Santana the last couple of days didn't really help. All she thought about was how toned Santana's body was and how much she really loved Santana's abs.

Rachel didn't know how long she had been sat there but her water bottle was almost empty and her tears were starting to roll down her cheeks as she continued to think about her life and how exhausted she was, not just physically but mentally and emotionally and it wasn't just because of today's dance class.

She was so teary eyed and lost in her own little world Rachel didn't see Cassandra walk back into the room. "You won't get on Broadway crying every time you get a hangnail Schwimmer." The blond said as she walked up to the piano staring over at Rachel, she had since changed her clothes and was now in a shirt that exposed more of her abs than needed to be seen while she taught a dance class.

Rachel looked up at the sudden voice, "Sorry I didn't realise you were coming back, I'll go." The brunette attempted to gather her things and scramble out of the room but before she could leave Cassandra spoke up.

"No wait." She sighed deeply, she was probably going to regret taking any amount of time to get to know her students but there was something about Rachel she had always found interesting so she decided she didn't mind delving into the diva's personal life. "What's wrong? I mean I don't make a habit of connecting with any of my students especially the bad ones as it always serves to be a colossal waste of my time but when you're distracted in your head you're often distracted elsewhere too and that means your dancing lacks severely, well lacks _more_ severely than it already does." Cassie gave Rachel a smile, a genuine 'I'm teasing you' type smile that actually made Rachel smile too. "So tell me, what's going on?"

"Nothing, its really nothing." Rachel assured the woman as she shook her head. She noticed the distance between where she was standing in the room by the window and where Cassie was standing over by the piano but she instantly felt like she was closer to the woman in this one moment than she had ever been.

"You're crying about that Maria girl aren't you?" Cassandra stated more than asked.

Rachel looked up at the blond woman in shock, "What makes you think that?"

"Because I'm not an idiot." Cassie explained as she took a few steps closer to Rachel. "I'm right though aren't I?"

Rachel didn't speak she just gave a nod.

Cassie sighed slightly and walked all the way over to Rachel once she saw Rachel was sad again. She took a seat on the window sill next to where Rachel had previously been moping. She patted the spot next to her; Rachel hesitated slightly but quickly joined her dance teacher though she did keep a distance between them to avoid this from being majorly awkward.

The pair sat in silence for a few seconds before the blond spoke up, "Does she know?"

"That I like her?" Rachel inquired.

"That you're in love with her."

Cassie's statement knocked Rachel off balance at first; if she was so obvious to her teacher after just one time being together in front of her then was she _that_ obvious to Santana too. No Santana was way too caught up in Brittany and not getting caught or saying her true feelings to figure Rachel out.

Rachel shook her head, "No she doesn't. I haven't told her."

"Well why not? How do you expect her to like you back if you don't have the backbone to tell her in the first place?"

"It's not that simple though, she has a girlfriend who she won't leave for me." Rachel looked down at her hands that sat in her lap while she felt bad betraying Brittany like this. "Her girlfriend is my friend too and I don't want to hurt her because she's so sweet and doesn't deserve that."

"Schwimmer no one chooses who they fall in love with, therefore you can't stop yourself hurting someone who gets in the way." Cassie explained.

"But Brittany _isn't_ in the way, she was there first." Rachel insisted.

"But she's the one stopping you from going after what you want right?"

Rachel nodded slowly, "But I don't want her to get hurt either."

"People _get_ hurt when it comes to love Schwim it's just the way it is, nothing can be done about that but if Maria-"

"Her name is Santana."

"Sorry, if Santana doesn't love this Brittany girl anymore but she's into you then she should stop before this all explodes in her face."

"I know but it's not as if Santana has told me she likes me either, I mean I'm pretty sure she does and she's alluded to it on several occasions but the words 'I like you' have never left her mouth in relation to me."

"She doesn't have to say it, it's obvious she likes you." Cassandra assured her with a small laugh of ridiculousness that Rachel didn't already know this as being fact.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? No one knows her feelings other than her."

"Because I saw it." the woman's words caught Rachel's attention instantly. "I saw it when she was here the other day in class. I saw it when she looked at you, when she danced with you, when she _touched_ you. God I thought you two were about to throw down and get it on right on my newly polished hardwood floor, I was actually a little worried for a second or two."

"If you knew then why did you make us dance like that?" Rachel asked half curious and half kinda pissed off.

The blond shrugged, "Because I'm a bitch Schwimmer." she smirked but then her features softened again upon seeing Rachel's hurt look. "But it wasn't _just_ revenge it was also because I thought it would help. I don't believe in keeping your true feelings in, hence why I'm so brutally honest with you all the time Schwimmer. I don't know what it is but I have like a sixth sense when it comes to people, especially my fellow species 'the bitch' and Santana is kind of a bitch, at least she was when she was _here_."

"She's not like that all the time." Rachel defended the girl in question.

"I'm sure she's not but my point is I could sense there was something between you when she was in here. I figured she was gay from the way she hung around that blond girl and by the fact you slipped up when introducing the blond, you almost said girlfriend." Cassie quirked her brow at Rachel reminding her of the fact. "And I figured there was something going on between you two by the way you interacted and my suspicions were only solidified when I watched you dance together."

Rachel remained quiet as she tried to take it all in.

"I had a boyfriend in college who I had been with for almost a year, he was perfect. He was sweet, funny, had a great six pack and his penis was at least a good 8 inches when fully erect." Cassie explained as Rachel grimaced slightly. "But even though he was perfect for me at the time I still fell for another guy who was a year older than me. He had his flaws but he was incredible when it came to loving me and making me feel good about myself. His penis was two inches smaller but we got over that because he was pretty good with his tongue."

"So what are you saying?" Rachel asked trying hard not to picture her teacher and penis.

"I'm saying that Santana is a lot like me or at least the way I used to be. She's with a girl who at one point seemed perfect for her but time moves on and things change and people fall in and out of love all the time. This Brittany girl was perfect for her when they started dating but she's moved on too just like I did. She's found someone new in you who captures her attention as her new self. Santana has grown up since she started dating Brittany. I mean I know I don't know all the details but I saw myself in Santana that day in class and I know that she's trying to hold onto her past with her girlfriend but she wants to let it go just as much as I did even if she knows it's gonna hurt a lot. But she needs to do it if she really wants to be happy and with the one she really loves now and not back in high school or whenever."

Hearing Cassie explain made Rachel realise that is _exactly _what Santana is doing; she may not love Brittany in the same way as before but she's afraid of letting her go because she knows it's gonna hurt too much and she's scared to give up her high school memories of when her life was easy and perfect.

"You're right. So what happened with you and the new guy?" Rachel wondered genuinely.

"He turned out to be gay. Guess I should have figured that with the fact he liked to wear his tutu around the house and he didn't even go to a ballet class."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Don't be it just meant he was all about pleasing me rather than himself." The women laughed. A few seconds later she said "She was totally jealous by the way."

"Santana?"

Cassie nodded, "Yeah. When I got you to dance with me, she was reeling in frustration that it wasn't her. Then when she got her chance she was too busy trying to work out where to put her hands than concentrating on what her feet were doing. Good mover though I must say. I wouldn't mind her in my class if it wasn't for the fact you have a pretty large lady boner for her." Cassie joked knocking Rachel in the shoulder with her own.

Rachel laughed lightly at Cassie's joke. "So what do you think I should do? In your opinion?" Rachel turned her head to look at her teacher.

Cassie also turned to look at her student, "I don't think I should answer that, I don't want to lead you astray. What is it _you_ wanna do? Do you want to move on or go after her until you get her?"

"Well my friend Kurt suggested to move on and date other people even if it was just to make Santana jealous." Rachel admitted slightly amused.

"Did it work?"

"Sort of, I mean she did get jealous when I told her I was hanging with Brody a lot. And it even made her break a little that was when she started to confess things."

"Things like?" the blond woman leaned closer getting more and more interested in where this was heading.

"Well after I told her I was thinking about moving out she started acting weird like she didn't want me to, she got mad and cried and Santana hardly ever lets people see her cry. I asked her if she could feel what I could feel when we were together to which she replied a shaky 'yes' though she did throw up after _that _particular moment. And just the other night she came into my room and plain out asked me to stay." Rachel smiled at the memories but also felt a tug at her heart strings that she didn't have more of them.

"And you _still_ doubt this girl likes you back?" Cassie chuckled.

"I just want her to be able to tell me without any anger or tears or me forcing it out of her. I don't want to move on but I'm starting to think I might have to if she won't look at me twice anymore like she used to." Rachel looked down at her hands in her lap that were clasping at each other nervously.

Cassie quirked an eyebrow, "Wait, 'Anymore'? 'Used to'? Are you saying you and her have already…you know?" the woman smiled and wiggled her eyebrows at the small girl.

Rachel instantly felt her cheeks blush as she looked away from the woman's gaze.

"Oh my god! Why am I only just learning this _now_?" Cassie laughed not needing Rachel to say any more than her blushing was saying already to know she was correct with her assumptions. "So despite the fact you two have indeed done the horizontal tango as well as the real one, she still claims there's nothing between you?"

"Well the sex was before her girlfriend came to the city during the school break and if you know Santana from her high school days sex doesn't mean a thing to her it's just fun. She even had a saying 'sex isn't dating'. I'm pretty sure that all changed when she and Brittany got together officially but with me and her it was…she was _just lonely_ and I just missed my ex-boyfriend. But after our first time that's when the feelings started to appear, for me at least." Rachel explained with a heartbroken smile.

"You really do want her don't you?" Cassie asked.

"I do." Rachel nodded shyly.

"Then I say go for it. What's the worst that can happen?"

"I could lose her as a friend and Brittany too." Rachel glanced at her teacher.

"True Schwimmer but honestly in life you never really get anything without risk, plus it's not really like you _have_ Santana now is it? You just have her shell. Fight for _you_ for once, for what _you_ want. Win her. Either that or let her go and forget her but you still have to move on in order for that to happen so it's your choice at the end of the day. But I have to be honest and say from what I saw in class she's definitely the jealous type. She flipped when we were dancing together. So if you did move on and find a new girl or guy or hermaphrodite whatever floats your boat I'd say she wouldn't last too long before she caved with her true feelings for you. Stick it to her and make her see what she's missing."

"Do you really believe that?" Rachel was curious.

The woman nodded, "I do." Cassie stood up from the widow and turned back to face the small brunette. "Just for the record though, I think you two make an adorable couple."

Rachel couldn't help the new blush that came to her cheeks as she smiled at the blond woman. "Thank you Miss July. Not just for the comment but for all your advice."

The blond smiled, "No problem. I just hoped a little bit has sunk in Rachel."

Rachel's eyes went wide with shock at her teachers words, "You called me-"

Cassie cut her off by raising her hand and shaking her head. "Just this once. Now get the hell out of here before I make you stay longer to improve on your footwork until your legs collapse from under you." The woman joked; at least Rachel _hoped_ she was joking.

"Right." Rachel quickly gathered her bag and water bottle before jumping up. She felt like hugging her teacher but knew that may be a bit much. She headed to the door but was called back by Cassie. Rachel turned back to face her teacher.

"My last nugget of advice. Don't move out without telling Santana how you _really _feel or you'll regret just leaving it like that."

Rachel nodded, "Oh how I've tried. Communicating with Santana is like trying to tell a doomsday prepper the earth is fine. But thank you anyway."

The teacher nodded her understanding as she watched Rachel leave slightly more optimistic than when she arrived.

_**Back at the apartment:**_

"Fuck!" Santana growled as she burnt herself for the third time on a saucepan that sat on top of the oven she was using to cook dinner.

She had never been a very great cook but tonight she was trying to make dinner for herself and Rachel to re-bridge the gap between them but nothing seemed to go right for her. She hadn't just burnt herself but also the food, she just couldn't concentrate. She wanted tonight to be as perfect as it could be so she could tell Rachel some stuff that she knew she really had to tell Rachel.

She wasn't quite certain how far she was gonna go or what exactly she was going to tell Rachel but she knew it was about time she said something. She hated seeing the diva so upset and hurt especially when it was her fault and she knew they just couldn't go on like this or she'd lose the girl forever. So when she got home from her shift at the coffee shop she made the decision tonight was going to be that night she finally grew some balls and just told Rachel the truth for once.

She examined her left hand that had three very obvious burns on it and they fucking hurt too. She shook her hand and bounced around the kitchen a little as she tried to get rid of the pain. Her anger boiled more than the water in the saucepan as she grabbed a handle of one of the empty ones next to it and tossed it hard and violently into the sink not caring if she broke something in doing so. Her anger still hadn't diminished so she kicked the nearest kitchen counter hard, leaving a dent in the wood and feeling like she had now broken her toes too.

Her tears streamed down her face as she leaned against the refrigerator not wanting to put any weight on her throbbing foot. "Fuck." She repeated, quieter this time with a bite to her bottom lip.

"Hey are you ok?" a timid voice entered the kitchen.

A half pissed half upset Santana looked up to see Rachel standing in the doorway of the kitchen. She really didn't want or need Rachel to see her like this and now she was getting angrier because this was so not how she pictured tonight going. She composed herself standing up straight and pushing away from the fridge. She wondered just how much of her mini breakdown Rachel had witnessed; knowing her luck it was most of it. "I'm fine; it's this stupid fucking oven! It won't cook anything!"

Rachel dropped her bag on the kitchen table and walked up to Santana to see the tear stains on her face and while that gave her the answer she needed she still asked "Have you been crying?"

"I just wanted to cook dinner; I don't see why this fucking piece of shit won't let me do that!" Santana hissed at the extra pans that still sat on the oven top.

Rachel looked over at what was inside them, it still smelt good at least. "Santana calm down, you've burnt your hand." Rachel saw the red burns on the Latina's tanned skin and didn't hesitate to reach out and grab her hand. "You need to put it under some cold water." The diva didn't let Santana resist as she dragged the taller girl by her hand over to the sink and turned the cold water on to sooth the burn on Santana's skin.

Santana groaned a little from the pain but let Rachel take care of her, it was kind of nice for someone to care for _her_ for a change.

The pair stood by the sink for a few minutes while Rachel continued to let the cool water run over Santana's burn. Once she felt like it had been enough time she turned the faucet off and dried the girl's hand with a hand towel. She then proceeded to dress the wound with a light bandage receiving no complaints from Santana who seemed to be much more content.

Rachel looked up at Santana's face as she finished dressing her hand, the Latina had her eyes closed and was breathing deeply. "You know I'm sure whatever you've made is still gonna taste amazing and by the looks of it you've got out two plates. Should I jump to the conclusion that one is for me?" Rachel smiled at the effort Santana had obviously put in to the meal.

Santana opened her eyes to lock them with Rachel's that were much closer to her than she had originally thought. She nodded, "Yes it is…well it was until the thing basically blew up in my face."

Rachel giggled but Santana was serious and stayed stern faced. "It's ok Santana, it doesn't matter."

"No Rachel it's not ok, it's _never_ gonna _be_ ok." Santana replied and Rachel had the sudden feeling the girl was no longer talking about the burnt food. "I never wanted it to be like this Rach, if I had known it was gonna turn out like this then maybe I never would have…" Santana trailed off trying to look for the right words.

"Please don't say it Santana. Can't we just leave it for tonight and just have dinner together like you intended?" the diva pleaded.

"No Rachel, you don't get it. I didn't just want to have dinner with you tonight. I wanted tonight to be special or something. I've wanted to talk to you for a while, to _properly_ talk to you. Just you and me, no Kurt or Brittany in the way. But I can never seem to just get over myself to do it." Santana explained quietly as she cupped Rachel's cheek intimately.

Rachel put her own hand over Santana's to make sure the girl didn't pull away. "Well I'm listening now, whatever you have to say Santana please just say it. It's just me and you here now that's what you wanted. I'm here to finally hear it."

"We should sit down." Santana suggested suddenly feeling a little dizzy.

"Sure." Rachel kept her hand around Santana's as she pulled it off her cheek and walked herself and the other girl over to the kitchen table where they both took a seat opposite each other.

Santana took a deep breath before preparing her words. It really was now or never for her and Rachel. "Okay Rachel, I want to start by saying I'm sorry I was such a douchebag to you over the last few weeks when Brittany was here. I hated seeing you upset and broken like you were and knowing it was because of _me _just broke my heart too. I don't really know or understand everything that's going on between us but I'm willing to learn and explore us more, if that's something you want too."

Rachel was slightly surprised by this confession but then she remembered the things Cassie had told her and the advice she got given today. "Wait let me say something before you continue." Rachel stopped the other girl by grabbing her hands on the table and squeezing them. "I realised today that I haven't exactly been fair to you either. I keep expecting you to tell me how you feel when you don't even fully know how I feel about you."

"But I _want_ to tell you how I feel, I do."

"Then how do you feel?" Rachel asked cautiously, she didn't want to upset the girl and have her run away again but at the same time she was practically on the edge of her seat waiting for Santana to say the thing she's been waiting god knows how long to finally hear.

Santana locked eyes with Rachel a single tear ran down her own cheek while the diva's eyes also began to tear up. "Rachel…I wanted tonight to be special because…I want to tell you that I want-"

She was cut off when a rather obnoxious knocking came at the front door. Rachel immediately darted her attention away from the Latina to the direction the sound was coming from. Santana wished Rachel would just ignore it because she didn't know if she would be able to do this again if she didn't say it _now_.

"Who could that be?" the diva asked.

Santana shrugged her shoulders, "Does it matter? Just ignore it."

But Rachel clearly didn't seem to see Santana's worry because she stood up from the table and looked back down at her. "I'll be right back."

Rachel left the room and a sighing Santana who eventually got up and followed the smaller girl to the door. Santana leaned against the doorway to the living room as she watched Rachel walked all the way up to the door and open it.

Both girls' mouths drop for very different reasons when they saw who was standing on the other side of the door. Rachel's of excitement and Santana's of complete shock.

"Quinn?"

"Fabray?"

**A/N:**** Don't hate me too much, you wanted jealous Santana and you're about to get jealous Santana. Plus I don't think I can write a fic without Quinn appearing in it somewhere. There were a lot of phone calls in this chapter, good job the phone was invented or this chapter could have sucked. Some Pucktana bromance and some Julyberry bonding too. Anyway so if any of you guessed Puck and Cassandra were gonna be those mysterious sources of advice for Santana and Rachel then well done to you :)**

**Just a note:**** this chapter was planned long before glee's 4x21 ep ever aired or even started filming so not bragging or anything but I totally wrote nice Cassie before they did lol. Though I loved her solo in that ep, Kitty's too, man that girl can sing. So this chapter is set before Cassie was nice to Rachel in canon, basically the story is canon but only up till season 3 for the most of it with the exception of the obvious Cassie and Brody etc being in it.**

**I can assure you this story will start to pick up and move much faster from now on. Quinn is the catalyst for all that.**

**So what do you think will happen with Quinn around? And how did you like this chapter? Leave me a review and let me know. I thank you in advance and thanks for reading too :) Also with this chapter marks three of my stories now being over 100,000 words and I am proud of that lol.**

**Next chapter teaser:**** Quinn has finally decided to use her metro pass and visit her best friends Santana and Rachel. How will Santana deal with the fact it's clear Quinn still has a major crush on Rachel and Rachel is kinda liking the way Quinn, who is single by the way, treats her.**


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